Hitting the wall.
Oh gawd, no, not that wall!
OK, I gotta confess, I feel awkward- maybe even a bit lame- posting this kind of self-indulgent stuff but it helps me to process.
Maybe it's just an age thing combined with just having gotten through that busy holiday time of year, but I really hit the wall these last few months. In late September I had double whammy combination punch of labyrinthitis and migraine. I managed to get to the phone to call a friend (my wife was back east) and had to get hauled off to the E.R. for the day.
And then a week ago Tuesday another migraine hit me hard and laid me low. It was the same day I was supposed to see my neurologist.
And then only a weak later, yesterday, another migraine hit while I was on the road and still 40 minute from home. I went into total safety mode, making sure I was driving safely. I had to focus on my breathing so as not to hyperventilate and fight off a strong urge to puke. By the time I pulled into the driveway I was literally shaking from head to toe. I hit the bed and didn't move at all for hours. I made it to work today, did my thing, but at a much slower pace than normal.
I recently read this AWESOME book called Karakoram by Steve Swenson, a long time excellent mountaineer. The last climb he talks about takes place when he is 61, the Changi Tower, in the Karakoram at 21,325 feet (6500 meters). He describes how physically difficult it is to make an ascent like that at an older age. Some of what he described is how these migraines and vertigo often feel. So I guess they are my summit challenges. But damn, they beat the shit out of me.
Thanks for listening. I feel better.
“Finding beauty in a broken world is creating beauty in the world we find.”
-Terry Tempest Williams
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