Hitting the wall.

brianlux

Oh gawd, no, not that wall! 

OK, I gotta confess, I feel awkward- maybe even a bit lame- posting this kind of self-indulgent stuff but it helps me to process.

Maybe it's just an age thing combined with just having gotten through that busy holiday time of year, but I really hit the wall these last few months.  In late September I had double whammy combination punch of labyrinthitis and migraine.  I managed to get to the phone to call a friend (my wife was back east) and had to get hauled off to the E.R. for the day. 

And then a week ago Tuesday another migraine hit me hard and laid me low.  It was the same day I was supposed to see my neurologist. 

And then only a weak later, yesterday, another migraine hit while I was on the road and still 40 minute from home.  I went into total safety mode, making sure I was driving safely.  I had to focus on my breathing so as not to hyperventilate and fight off a strong urge to puke.  By the time I pulled into the driveway I was literally shaking from head to toe.  I hit the bed and didn't move at all for hours.  I made it to work today, did my thing, but at a much slower pace than normal.

I recently read this AWESOME book called Karakoram by Steve Swenson, a long time excellent mountaineer.  The last climb he talks about takes place when he is 61, the Changi Tower, in the  Karakoram at 21,325 feet (6500 meters).  He describes how physically difficult it is to make an ascent like that at an older age.  Some of what he described is how these migraines and vertigo often feel.  So  I guess they are my summit challenges.  But damn, they beat the shit out of me.  

Thanks for listening.  I feel better.

camsjam

Feel better Brian. The holidazes wiped me out this year too. Didn't get really ill or go down but felt very tired and sometimes a little dizzy. Getting older is not for sissies...it's tough. Lotsa youngsters I work with talk about being tired or achy and I find myself thinking "poor puppies have no idea what they are in for in about 30 years! You also had a lot of bad air out there with the wildfires. 

Fifthelement

That sucks Brian.  Congrats on developing coping skills.  That’s a battle in and of itself.  Also, keep venting as needed.

tempo_n_groove

Well no mountain climbing for you then Brian, lol.

Hopefully you feel better.

brianlux

Thanks, friends.  Woke up with another splitting headache this morning.  Not a migraine so far but I have a feeling it could go either way.  Gotta be tough to be old these days.

lastexitlondon

Wishing you well Brian. I know what it's like to be forced out of action with illness.. I hope you are back in the bookshop and well soon

Meltdown99

I thought Brian was heading to the Southern Border to literally knock that wall down.  Yes, Brian this time a year can be a struggle. 

goldrush

Hope you get through this one soon Brian

lastexitlondon

Brian I must join you in the wall. I crashed a long time ago but the wall is winning and not sure where to go from here.

brianlux

goldrush said:

Hope you get through this one soon Brian

Thank you, much appreciated. 

lastexitlondon said:

Brian I must join you in the wall. I crashed a long time ago but the wall is winning and not sure where to go from here.

Wishing you better days, lastexit.  Hang in there.

PureandEasy

Are these migraines new to you?  I don't think you just "develop" migraines.  I don't know how old you are, but attributing headaches to aging is not really a thing . . . aching knees, back pain, yes.  Severe headaches, no.  Is that what your doctor diagnosed??

brianlux

PureandEasy said:

Are these migraines new to you?  I don't think you just "develop" migraines.  I don't know how old you are, but attributing headaches to aging is not really a thing . . . aching knees, back pain, yes.  Severe headaches, no.  Is that what your doctor diagnosed??

No, I've had them for about 5 or 6 years.  I'm 67 so they started in my early 60's.  Yes, my doc said he thinks they are migraines so he sent me to a neurologist who ran a bunch of test and confirmed.  You're probably right though that the migraines alone are probably not an aging thing.    But with the migraines and all that other aches and pains nonsense (which will likely just get worse)- that's all getting harder to deal with, mainly because I keep trying to push myself like I'm 35.  There's just so much I want to do and so little time.  It's probably my body's way of telling me to slow down...  but as we know, "rust never sleeps".  I have to push myself to some degree, maybe just a lower degree now.    But slow down?  That just sounds so weak to me. 

lastexitlondon

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

Meltdown99

lastexitlondon said:

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

You'll get to 67 and beyond.  You are stronger than you realize.  Try to keep the faith and things will get better.

Asterisk on the Street

Brian,

Hope you feel better soon, my friend.

Ms. Haiku

I hope you feel better, brianlux. Those migraines sound painful.

brianlux

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

You'll get to 67 and beyond.  You are stronger than you realize.  Try to keep the faith and things will get better.

Asterisk on the Street said:

Brian,

Hope you feel better soon, my friend.

Ms. Haiku said:

I hope you feel better, brianlux. Those migraines sound painful.

Thank you, friends.  I never would have thought I'd say this, but today I'm thinking, "Man!  Three days in a row no migraine of major headache!" 

All your kind words are encouraging! 

Meltdown99

brianlux said:

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

You'll get to 67 and beyond.  You are stronger than you realize.  Try to keep the faith and things will get better.

Asterisk on the Street said:

Brian,

Hope you feel better soon, my friend.

Ms. Haiku said:

I hope you feel better, brianlux. Those migraines sound painful.

Thank you, friends.  I never would have thought I'd say this, but today I'm thinking, "Man!  Three days in a row no migraine of major headache!" 

All your kind words are encouraging! 

I worked with a fellow who used to get migraines.  When he got one, he could be off work for several days, he had to keep his house as dark as possible.  His were brought on by certain foods.  You have my sympathy, they suck. 

brianlux

Meltdown99 said:

brianlux said:

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

You'll get to 67 and beyond.  You are stronger than you realize.  Try to keep the faith and things will get better.

Asterisk on the Street said:

Brian,

Hope you feel better soon, my friend.

Ms. Haiku said:

I hope you feel better, brianlux. Those migraines sound painful.

Thank you, friends.  I never would have thought I'd say this, but today I'm thinking, "Man!  Three days in a row no migraine of major headache!" 

All your kind words are encouraging! 

I worked with a fellow who used to get migraines.  When he got one, he could be off work for several days, he had to keep his house as dark as possible.  His were brought on by certain foods.  You have my sympathy, they suck. 

Yeah, they definitely suck!  Mine usually last a day or less.  Only one time it went for 48 hours.  But as bad as that was, I talked to one guy who says his usually last three days- almost every time.  I guess I should be thankful that is not the case for me.  Two days was gruesome- three days would be hard to bear.

Thoughts_Arrive

We don't need no education.....

brianlux

Hitting the Wall, Part II

So yesterday I'm going along, fat dumb and happy, generally having a great day, working on straightening out the dog book section in the store and I stand up and get a head rush- you know, that thing where you go from sitting or squatting and you stand up and get a bit light headed.  Only I got hit hard with everything going black and was holding on to a shelf and it was like the only part of my brain that was working was the brain stem or maybe the amygdala- what ever part controls survival.  I felt like if I passed out I would die.  And this went on for several seconds and then I still felt like maybe  I could pass out.  So then I go to the E.R. and of course it was busy as hell and I sit there waiting for an hour, mildly hyperventilating with numbness to my hand feet and most of my head and finally get in.  They did an EKG, ran some blood test- all this takes another couple hours and in the end I'm told "nothing seems to be wrong, go home and rest for 24 hours".  Okey dokey.  Nothing wrong?  Hmmm.  OK fine, next time I'll save the trip to the E.R.

If I sound pissed, it's not that I'm afraid of what might be going on.  Just tell me.  I just want to know, that's all.  What a day.

Meltdown99

brianlux said:

Hitting the Wall, Part II

So yesterday I'm going along, fat dumb and happy, generally having a great day, working on straightening out the dog book section in the store and I stand up and get a head rush- you know, that thing where you go from sitting or squatting and you stand up and get a bit light headed.  Only I got hit hard with everything going black and was holding on to a shelf and it was like the only part of my brain that was working was the brain stem or maybe the amygdala- what ever part controls survival.  I felt like if I passed out I would die.  And this went on for several seconds and then I still felt like maybe  I could pass out.  So then I go to the E.R. and of course it was busy as hell and I sit there waiting for an hour, mildly hyperventilating with numbness to my hand feet and most of my head and finally get in.  They did an EKG, ran some blood test- all this takes another couple hours and in the end I'm told "nothing seems to be wrong, go home and rest for 24 hours".  Okey dokey.  Nothing wrong?  Hmmm.  OK fine, next time I'll save the trip to the E.R.

If I sound pissed, it's not that I'm afraid of what might be going on.  Just tell me.  I just want to know, that's all.  What a day.

Jeesh.  Hope you are feeling better.  At first, it sounded like blood pressure.  I'm surprised that they did not get you in right away you having numbness...May I suggest a follow with your family dr. He might want to run some follow-up test.  Maybe even get your blood pressure checked out at the drug store.  Nearly passing out as you did is worth a secondary visit to your dr.  Good luck, Brian.

brianlux

Meltdown99 said:

brianlux said:

Hitting the Wall, Part II

So yesterday I'm going along, fat dumb and happy, generally having a great day, working on straightening out the dog book section in the store and I stand up and get a head rush- you know, that thing where you go from sitting or squatting and you stand up and get a bit light headed.  Only I got hit hard with everything going black and was holding on to a shelf and it was like the only part of my brain that was working was the brain stem or maybe the amygdala- what ever part controls survival.  I felt like if I passed out I would die.  And this went on for several seconds and then I still felt like maybe  I could pass out.  So then I go to the E.R. and of course it was busy as hell and I sit there waiting for an hour, mildly hyperventilating with numbness to my hand feet and most of my head and finally get in.  They did an EKG, ran some blood test- all this takes another couple hours and in the end I'm told "nothing seems to be wrong, go home and rest for 24 hours".  Okey dokey.  Nothing wrong?  Hmmm.  OK fine, next time I'll save the trip to the E.R.

If I sound pissed, it's not that I'm afraid of what might be going on.  Just tell me.  I just want to know, that's all.  What a day.

Jeesh.  Hope you are feeling better.  At first, it sounded like blood pressure.  I'm surprised that they did not get you in right away you having numbness...May I suggest a follow with your family dr. He might want to run some follow-up test.  Maybe even get your blood pressure checked out at the drug store.  Nearly passing out as you did is worth a secondary visit to your dr.  Good luck, Brian.

Thanks.  Yeah, I going to call my doc and make an apt.m maybe get a heart stress test, maybe check thyroid- things that can cause a more intense what I called a "head rush"  (technically known as Orthostatic hypotension).

PureandEasy

brianlux said:

PureandEasy said:

Are these migraines new to you?  I don't think you just "develop" migraines.  I don't know how old you are, but attributing headaches to aging is not really a thing . . . aching knees, back pain, yes.  Severe headaches, no.  Is that what your doctor diagnosed??

No, I've had them for about 5 or 6 years.  I'm 67 so they started in my early 60's.  Yes, my doc said he thinks they are migraines so he sent me to a neurologist who ran a bunch of test and confirmed.  You're probably right though that the migraines alone are probably not an aging thing.    But with the migraines and all that other aches and pains nonsense (which will likely just get worse)- that's all getting harder to deal with, mainly because I keep trying to push myself like I'm 35.  There's just so much I want to do and so little time.  It's probably my body's way of telling me to slow down...  but as we know, "rust never sleeps".  I have to push myself to some degree, maybe just a lower degree now.    But slow down?  That just sounds so weak to me. 

67, so little time??? Unless you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness, you could have decades left.  If you are pushing yourself too hard, then maybe give it a rest.  There are a lot of life experiences that don't require one to abuse their body.  For me, life experiences mostly involve rock concerts.  I don't need to climb Mt. Everest, what I need is to do the things in life that have always brought me joy . . . concerts, road trips with my friends centered around concerts, MUSIC.  Long live rock.  Take it easy, take care.

brianlux

PureandEasy said:

brianlux said:

PureandEasy said:

Are these migraines new to you?  I don't think you just "develop" migraines.  I don't know how old you are, but attributing headaches to aging is not really a thing . . . aching knees, back pain, yes.  Severe headaches, no.  Is that what your doctor diagnosed??

No, I've had them for about 5 or 6 years.  I'm 67 so they started in my early 60's.  Yes, my doc said he thinks they are migraines so he sent me to a neurologist who ran a bunch of test and confirmed.  You're probably right though that the migraines alone are probably not an aging thing.    But with the migraines and all that other aches and pains nonsense (which will likely just get worse)- that's all getting harder to deal with, mainly because I keep trying to push myself like I'm 35.  There's just so much I want to do and so little time.  It's probably my body's way of telling me to slow down...  but as we know, "rust never sleeps".  I have to push myself to some degree, maybe just a lower degree now.    But slow down?  That just sounds so weak to me. 

67, so little time??? Unless you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness, you could have decades left.  If you are pushing yourself too hard, then maybe give it a rest.  There are a lot of life experiences that don't require one to abuse their body.  For me, life experiences mostly involve rock concerts.  I don't need to climb Mt. Everest, what I need is to do the things in life that have always brought me joy . . . concerts, road trips with my friends centered around concerts, MUSIC.  Long live rock.  Take it easy, take care.

Thanks for good thoughts, Pureand Easy. 

Yeah, long live rock for sure!

What I mean by "so little time" is that at this point, the years fly by.  When I was 4, a year was 25% of my total life time.  A year seemed like a long time!  At 67, a year is about 1.5 % of my total life.  Zingggggg, there goes another one!

I'm trying to learn to take it a day at a time.  I had yet another bad migraine today that lasted about 10 hours.  I'm mostly out of the woods now with a little woozy headed feeling lingering.  So rather than rue the loss of another day, I'll celebrate being mostly OK now, try to leave the rest of the day behind me, and hope for a better tomorrow. 

PureandEasy

brianlux said:

PureandEasy said:

brianlux said:

PureandEasy said:

Are these migraines new to you?  I don't think you just "develop" migraines.  I don't know how old you are, but attributing headaches to aging is not really a thing . . . aching knees, back pain, yes.  Severe headaches, no.  Is that what your doctor diagnosed??

No, I've had them for about 5 or 6 years.  I'm 67 so they started in my early 60's.  Yes, my doc said he thinks they are migraines so he sent me to a neurologist who ran a bunch of test and confirmed.  You're probably right though that the migraines alone are probably not an aging thing.    But with the migraines and all that other aches and pains nonsense (which will likely just get worse)- that's all getting harder to deal with, mainly because I keep trying to push myself like I'm 35.  There's just so much I want to do and so little time.  It's probably my body's way of telling me to slow down...  but as we know, "rust never sleeps".  I have to push myself to some degree, maybe just a lower degree now.    But slow down?  That just sounds so weak to me. 

67, so little time??? Unless you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness, you could have decades left.  If you are pushing yourself too hard, then maybe give it a rest.  There are a lot of life experiences that don't require one to abuse their body.  For me, life experiences mostly involve rock concerts.  I don't need to climb Mt. Everest, what I need is to do the things in life that have always brought me joy . . . concerts, road trips with my friends centered around concerts, MUSIC.  Long live rock.  Take it easy, take care.

Thanks for good thoughts, Pureand Easy. 

Yeah, long live rock for sure!

What I mean by "so little time" is that at this point, the years fly by.  When I was 4, a year was 25% of my total life time.  A year seemed like a long time!  At 67, a year is about 1.5 % of my total life.  Zingggggg, there goes another one!

I'm trying to learn to take it a day at a time.  I had yet another bad migraine today that lasted about 10 hours.  I'm mostly out of the woods now with a little woozy headed feeling lingering.  So rather than rue the loss of another day, I'll celebrate being mostly OK now, try to leave the rest of the day behind me, and hope for a better tomorrow. 

I'm 55, I too am well aware of how fast time really does fly, or how our perception of that same time period feels.  One day at a time in your situation sounds reasonable.  I have found success in setting reasonable goals for myself.  Be well young man.  . 

brianlux

PureandEasy said:

brianlux said:

PureandEasy said:

brianlux said:

PureandEasy said:

Are these migraines new to you?  I don't think you just "develop" migraines.  I don't know how old you are, but attributing headaches to aging is not really a thing . . . aching knees, back pain, yes.  Severe headaches, no.  Is that what your doctor diagnosed??

No, I've had them for about 5 or 6 years.  I'm 67 so they started in my early 60's.  Yes, my doc said he thinks they are migraines so he sent me to a neurologist who ran a bunch of test and confirmed.  You're probably right though that the migraines alone are probably not an aging thing.    But with the migraines and all that other aches and pains nonsense (which will likely just get worse)- that's all getting harder to deal with, mainly because I keep trying to push myself like I'm 35.  There's just so much I want to do and so little time.  It's probably my body's way of telling me to slow down...  but as we know, "rust never sleeps".  I have to push myself to some degree, maybe just a lower degree now.    But slow down?  That just sounds so weak to me. 

67, so little time??? Unless you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness, you could have decades left.  If you are pushing yourself too hard, then maybe give it a rest.  There are a lot of life experiences that don't require one to abuse their body.  For me, life experiences mostly involve rock concerts.  I don't need to climb Mt. Everest, what I need is to do the things in life that have always brought me joy . . . concerts, road trips with my friends centered around concerts, MUSIC.  Long live rock.  Take it easy, take care.

Thanks for good thoughts, Pureand Easy. 

Yeah, long live rock for sure!

What I mean by "so little time" is that at this point, the years fly by.  When I was 4, a year was 25% of my total life time.  A year seemed like a long time!  At 67, a year is about 1.5 % of my total life.  Zingggggg, there goes another one!

I'm trying to learn to take it a day at a time.  I had yet another bad migraine today that lasted about 10 hours.  I'm mostly out of the woods now with a little woozy headed feeling lingering.  So rather than rue the loss of another day, I'll celebrate being mostly OK now, try to leave the rest of the day behind me, and hope for a better tomorrow. 

I'm 55, I too am well aware of how fast time really does fly, or how our perception of that same time period feels.  One day at a time in your situation sounds reasonable.  I have found success in setting reasonable goals for myself.  Be well young man.  . 

njnancy

brianlux said:

Hitting the Wall, Part II

So yesterday I'm going along, fat dumb and happy, generally having a great day, working on straightening out the dog book section in the store and I stand up and get a head rush- you know, that thing where you go from sitting or squatting and you stand up and get a bit light headed.  Only I got hit hard with everything going black and was holding on to a shelf and it was like the only part of my brain that was working was the brain stem or maybe the amygdala- what ever part controls survival.  I felt like if I passed out I would die.  And this went on for several seconds and then I still felt like maybe  I could pass out.  So then I go to the E.R. and of course it was busy as hell and I sit there waiting for an hour, mildly hyperventilating with numbness to my hand feet and most of my head and finally get in.  They did an EKG, ran some blood test- all this takes another couple hours and in the end I'm told "nothing seems to be wrong, go home and rest for 24 hours".  Okey dokey.  Nothing wrong?  Hmmm.  OK fine, next time I'll save the trip to the E.R.

If I sound pissed, it's not that I'm afraid of what might be going on.  Just tell me.  I just want to know, that's all.  What a day.

Hey Brian - sorry to hear that the migraines are getting to you. I thought the injections were helping?

I've had migraines since I had my son - so over 20 years now. I have never seen a neurologist  - which I should - and I really have no treatment for them except medication that doesn't work because once it starts.....and they can go on for days. I know how they can completely mess up your life - they steal time. I did so many things with migraines as my son was growing up because  I had to, I was a single parent, but I have had to cancel on almost any type of situation because when they hit and decide to stay for awhile - they knock you off your feet. 

I've had the head rush situation you described. Comes when I get up too quickly like you described. They can be due to low blood pressure, barometric pressure changes, lack of eating, and plenty of other factors. It usually passes pretty quickly but it is extremely disconcerting when it happens. I've fainted or briefly passed out a couple of times due to them. It sounds like you may have had an anxiety or panic attack when that happened. I've had panic disorder forever and it runs the gamut with me to completely under control to agoraphobia - if you have never had one it can scare the shit out of you - no matter how many times you have them - you feel like you are going to die, are off balance, can't think clearly, can feel like an out of body experience, some people think they are having a heart attack, hands and feet sweat and itch, etc...

I have no idea if that's what happened to you - but since you are so  focused on your health and aging (as we all are, no one is getting younger), ;you could start to have more migraines due to stress and worrying and this can bring on anxiety attacks. The weather is so messed up now that it really messes with those of us who are migraine prone. 

Just want to let you know that you are not alone and that there may be explanations for some of the things happening that are anxiety based - actually the car experience sounds like it too. 

But again, I am not a doctor so I'm just giving my experience. ;Migraines suck I've had one for two days now - so I understand. 

Hopes for health and peace of mind my friend.

brianlux

njnancy said:

brianlux said:

Hitting the Wall, Part II

So yesterday I'm going along, fat dumb and happy, generally having a great day, working on straightening out the dog book section in the store and I stand up and get a head rush- you know, that thing where you go from sitting or squatting and you stand up and get a bit light headed.  Only I got hit hard with everything going black and was holding on to a shelf and it was like the only part of my brain that was working was the brain stem or maybe the amygdala- what ever part controls survival.  I felt like if I passed out I would die.  And this went on for several seconds and then I still felt like maybe  I could pass out.  So then I go to the E.R. and of course it was busy as hell and I sit there waiting for an hour, mildly hyperventilating with numbness to my hand feet and most of my head and finally get in.  They did an EKG, ran some blood test- all this takes another couple hours and in the end I'm told "nothing seems to be wrong, go home and rest for 24 hours".  Okey dokey.  Nothing wrong?  Hmmm.  OK fine, next time I'll save the trip to the E.R.

If I sound pissed, it's not that I'm afraid of what might be going on.  Just tell me.  I just want to know, that's all.  What a day.

Hey Brian - sorry to hear that the migraines are getting to you. I thought the injections were helping?

I've had migraines since I had my son - so over 20 years now. I have never seen a neurologist  - which I should - and I really have no treatment for them except medication that doesn't work because once it starts.....and they can go on for days. I know how they can completely mess up your life - they steal time. I did so many things with migraines as my son was growing up because  I had to, I was a single parent, but I have had to cancel on almost any type of situation because when they hit and decide to stay for awhile - they knock you off your feet. 

I've had the head rush situation you described. Comes when I get up too quickly like you described. They can be due to low blood pressure, barometric pressure changes, lack of eating, and plenty of other factors. It usually passes pretty quickly but it is extremely disconcerting when it happens. I've fainted or briefly passed out a couple of times due to them. It sounds like you may have had an anxiety or panic attack when that happened. I've had panic disorder forever and it runs the gamut with me to completely under control to agoraphobia - if you have never had one it can scare the shit out of you - no matter how many times you have them - you feel like you are going to die, are off balance, can't think clearly, can feel like an out of body experience, some people think they are having a heart attack, hands and feet sweat and itch, etc...

I have no idea if that's what happened to you - but since you are so  focused on your health and aging (as we all are, no one is getting younger), ;you could start to have more migraines due to stress and worrying and this can bring on anxiety attacks. The weather is so messed up now that it really messes with those of us who are migraine prone. 

Just want to let you know that you are not alone and that there may be explanations for some of the things happening that are anxiety based - actually the car experience sounds like it too. 

But again, I am not a doctor so I'm just giving my experience. ;Migraines suck I've had one for two days now - so I understand. 

Hopes for health and peace of mind my friend.

Thanks so much, Nancy.  Your kind thoughts are appreciated!  Also, your experience is helpful.  I do tend to get stressed and even though stress was not occurring at the time of these recent incidents (I've lost 5 days this month alone from them) it probably does play a roll over all.  I'm going to start doing yoga again- should never have stopped- and try to stay calm and relaxed.

Thanks again for good thoughts!