Hitting the wall.

brianlux

Oh gawd, no, not that wall! 

OK, I gotta confess, I feel awkward- maybe even a bit lame- posting this kind of self-indulgent stuff but it helps me to process.

Maybe it's just an age thing combined with just having gotten through that busy holiday time of year, but I really hit the wall these last few months.  In late September I had double whammy combination punch of labyrinthitis and migraine.  I managed to get to the phone to call a friend (my wife was back east) and had to get hauled off to the E.R. for the day. 

And then a week ago Tuesday another migraine hit me hard and laid me low.  It was the same day I was supposed to see my neurologist. 

And then only a weak later, yesterday, another migraine hit while I was on the road and still 40 minute from home.  I went into total safety mode, making sure I was driving safely.  I had to focus on my breathing so as not to hyperventilate and fight off a strong urge to puke.  By the time I pulled into the driveway I was literally shaking from head to toe.  I hit the bed and didn't move at all for hours.  I made it to work today, did my thing, but at a much slower pace than normal.

I recently read this AWESOME book called Karakoram by Steve Swenson, a long time excellent mountaineer.  The last climb he talks about takes place when he is 61, the Changi Tower, in the  Karakoram at 21,325 feet (6500 meters).  He describes how physically difficult it is to make an ascent like that at an older age.  Some of what he described is how these migraines and vertigo often feel.  So  I guess they are my summit challenges.  But damn, they beat the shit out of me.  

Thanks for listening.  I feel better.

camsjam

Feel better Brian. The holidazes wiped me out this year too. Didn't get really ill or go down but felt very tired and sometimes a little dizzy. Getting older is not for sissies...it's tough. Lotsa youngsters I work with talk about being tired or achy and I find myself thinking "poor puppies have no idea what they are in for in about 30 years! You also had a lot of bad air out there with the wildfires. 

Fifthelement

That sucks Brian.  Congrats on developing coping skills.  That’s a battle in and of itself.  Also, keep venting as needed.

tempo_n_groove

Well no mountain climbing for you then Brian, lol.

Hopefully you feel better.

brianlux

Thanks, friends.  Woke up with another splitting headache this morning.  Not a migraine so far but I have a feeling it could go either way.  Gotta be tough to be old these days.

lastexitlondon

Wishing you well Brian. I know what it's like to be forced out of action with illness.. I hope you are back in the bookshop and well soon

Meltdown99

I thought Brian was heading to the Southern Border to literally knock that wall down.  Yes, Brian this time a year can be a struggle. 

goldrush

Hope you get through this one soon Brian

lastexitlondon

Brian I must join you in the wall. I crashed a long time ago but the wall is winning and not sure where to go from here.

brianlux

goldrush said:

Hope you get through this one soon Brian

Thank you, much appreciated. 

lastexitlondon said:

Brian I must join you in the wall. I crashed a long time ago but the wall is winning and not sure where to go from here.

Wishing you better days, lastexit.  Hang in there.

PureandEasy

Are these migraines new to you?  I don't think you just "develop" migraines.  I don't know how old you are, but attributing headaches to aging is not really a thing . . . aching knees, back pain, yes.  Severe headaches, no.  Is that what your doctor diagnosed??

brianlux

PureandEasy said:

Are these migraines new to you?  I don't think you just "develop" migraines.  I don't know how old you are, but attributing headaches to aging is not really a thing . . . aching knees, back pain, yes.  Severe headaches, no.  Is that what your doctor diagnosed??

No, I've had them for about 5 or 6 years.  I'm 67 so they started in my early 60's.  Yes, my doc said he thinks they are migraines so he sent me to a neurologist who ran a bunch of test and confirmed.  You're probably right though that the migraines alone are probably not an aging thing.    But with the migraines and all that other aches and pains nonsense (which will likely just get worse)- that's all getting harder to deal with, mainly because I keep trying to push myself like I'm 35.  There's just so much I want to do and so little time.  It's probably my body's way of telling me to slow down...  but as we know, "rust never sleeps".  I have to push myself to some degree, maybe just a lower degree now.    But slow down?  That just sounds so weak to me. 

lastexitlondon

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

Meltdown99

lastexitlondon said:

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

You'll get to 67 and beyond.  You are stronger than you realize.  Try to keep the faith and things will get better.

Asterisk on the Street

Brian,

Hope you feel better soon, my friend.

Ms. Haiku

I hope you feel better, brianlux. Those migraines sound painful.

brianlux

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

You'll get to 67 and beyond.  You are stronger than you realize.  Try to keep the faith and things will get better.

Asterisk on the Street said:

Brian,

Hope you feel better soon, my friend.

Ms. Haiku said:

I hope you feel better, brianlux. Those migraines sound painful.

Thank you, friends.  I never would have thought I'd say this, but today I'm thinking, "Man!  Three days in a row no migraine of major headache!" 

All your kind words are encouraging! 

Meltdown99

brianlux said:

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

You'll get to 67 and beyond.  You are stronger than you realize.  Try to keep the faith and things will get better.

Asterisk on the Street said:

Brian,

Hope you feel better soon, my friend.

Ms. Haiku said:

I hope you feel better, brianlux. Those migraines sound painful.

Thank you, friends.  I never would have thought I'd say this, but today I'm thinking, "Man!  Three days in a row no migraine of major headache!" 

All your kind words are encouraging! 

I worked with a fellow who used to get migraines.  When he got one, he could be off work for several days, he had to keep his house as dark as possible.  His were brought on by certain foods.  You have my sympathy, they suck. 

brianlux

Meltdown99 said:

brianlux said:

Meltdown99 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Brian you are an inspiration . At 67 your work ethic. Love of books . Love of nature and human rights. If I ever get to near 67 I would hope to be like you. A great human ......being

You'll get to 67 and beyond.  You are stronger than you realize.  Try to keep the faith and things will get better.

Asterisk on the Street said:

Brian,

Hope you feel better soon, my friend.

Ms. Haiku said:

I hope you feel better, brianlux. Those migraines sound painful.

Thank you, friends.  I never would have thought I'd say this, but today I'm thinking, "Man!  Three days in a row no migraine of major headache!" 

All your kind words are encouraging! 

I worked with a fellow who used to get migraines.  When he got one, he could be off work for several days, he had to keep his house as dark as possible.  His were brought on by certain foods.  You have my sympathy, they suck. 

Yeah, they definitely suck!  Mine usually last a day or less.  Only one time it went for 48 hours.  But as bad as that was, I talked to one guy who says his usually last three days- almost every time.  I guess I should be thankful that is not the case for me.  Two days was gruesome- three days would be hard to bear.

Thoughts_Arrive

We don't need no education.....

brianlux

Hitting the Wall, Part II

So yesterday I'm going along, fat dumb and happy, generally having a great day, working on straightening out the dog book section in the store and I stand up and get a head rush- you know, that thing where you go from sitting or squatting and you stand up and get a bit light headed.  Only I got hit hard with everything going black and was holding on to a shelf and it was like the only part of my brain that was working was the brain stem or maybe the amygdala- what ever part controls survival.  I felt like if I passed out I would die.  And this went on for several seconds and then I still felt like maybe  I could pass out.  So then I go to the E.R. and of course it was busy as hell and I sit there waiting for an hour, mildly hyperventilating with numbness to my hand feet and most of my head and finally get in.  They did an EKG, ran some blood test- all this takes another couple hours and in the end I'm told "nothing seems to be wrong, go home and rest for 24 hours".  Okey dokey.  Nothing wrong?  Hmmm.  OK fine, next time I'll save the trip to the E.R.

If I sound pissed, it's not that I'm afraid of what might be going on.  Just tell me.  I just want to know, that's all.  What a day.