Should I ask Agnes out on a date?

dankind

Yes

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I guess when you approach 40 it's hard not to focus on finding love. I'm going to be the real life version of the 40 year old virgin.

A dear friend of mine has that beat; he’s made peace with it. One of the happiest fellas I know. 

Love stinks! Yeah yeah. 

Thoughts_Arrive

Yes

dankind said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I guess when you approach 40 it's hard not to focus on finding love. I'm going to be the real life version of the 40 year old virgin.

A dear friend of mine has that beat; he’s made peace with it. One of the happiest fellas I know. 

Love stinks! Yeah yeah. 

That thought has been on my mind actually, making peace with the fact I'll never find love and die a virgin. It's so painful.

Spiritual_Chaos

nvm

Spiritual_Chaos

... women ...

OffSheGoes35

No

Spiritual_Chaos said:

... women ...

yes?

OffSheGoes35

No

Go on....

OffSheGoes35

No

Dammit, I'm going back to sleep.

OffSheGoes35

No

Goodnight S_C.

Spiritual_Chaos

OffSheGoes35 said:

Goodnight S_C.

Goodnight. Lol. Some people are in the middle of working with 2-3 hours to lunch. Listening to Waiting for the Sun and drawing a Gorilla comforting a little girl.

See you in a few hours

OffSheGoes35

No

Spiritual_Chaos said:

... women ...

you're going to have to give us a little more to go on than this...or you can always shout some lyrics at me.
 

PJ_Soul

Yes

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

There are certainly a whole lot of things to love about the single life.

What about the loneliness? Not having anyone to share your day with? That part hurts me.

While I am social, I don't feel loneliness. My own company is very satisfying to me when I'm alone. Frankly, while I never get the opportunity and don't expect to any time soon, I would be pretty pleased to just be completely alone with myself for an extended and uninterrupted period of time, like a kind of true break from other people, lol. But that's just me. Some people get lonely easily, some never feel lonely no matter what, some do, but it takes a whole lot of alone time to feel that way. I think it has a lot to do with disposition.

That said, I do have people to share my day with. My mom, my sister, my friends, and several of my co-workers, as well as myself via my inner voice. I wear my feelings on my sleeve - I don't "save" my personal life only for someone I'm romantically involved with. So I don't need a romantic partner to feel like I'm sharing what I want to. My experience has been that a lot of unpleasantness can also come with a romantic relationship - they are far from bliss man, and certainly not some kind of pinnacle of human connection in the majority of cases, once you get passed the sexual factor. Being in love can be so great... but being in love romantically isn't generally the end all and be all of existence like the movies would have us believe. And loneliness can most definitely be felt when you're in a romantic relationship, depending on the relationship. Sometimes that can be the deepest loneliness of all. I think sometimes people, you included, might put too much weight on the romantic side of this concept of human connection. I feel like you need someone or some people to be close to, who you feel really safe with to share your true self with and trust to accept you as you are, including your flaws ... That person or those people doesn't necessarily have to be a girlfriend or wife. Perhaps if you're able to open up on that level in friendship, you'd be much better prepared to open up to woman you want a relationship with? Just a thought. You will need to learn how to stop being in your own head so much with other people, and stop projecting so much to find that, maybe.

I think that you are also at a disadvantage in this context because your family sounds like the shits. Feeling like you're not alone in the world is a feeling that is usually grown from some kind of family support, where the love is unconditional (FYI, there is no such thing as romantic unconditional love). I'm really sorry you can't find that acceptance/love from them like many are lucky to. I'm sure that would remove a big chunk of your sense of loneliness.... But I bet it would help to get the fuck away from them, as so many others have said. I hope you are able to soon!

OffSheGoes35

No

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

PJ_Soul said:

There are certainly a whole lot of things to love about the single life.

What about the loneliness? Not having anyone to share your day with? That part hurts me.

While I am social, I don't feel loneliness. My own company is very satisfying to me when I'm alone. Frankly, while I never get the opportunity and don't expect to any time soon, I would be pretty pleased to just be completely alone with myself for an extended and uninterrupted period of time, like a kind of true break from other people, lol. But that's just me. Some people get lonely easily, some never feel lonely no matter what, some do, but it takes a whole lot of alone time to feel that way. I think it has a lot to do with disposition.

That said, I do have people to share my day with. My mom, my sister, my friends, and several of my co-workers, as well as myself via my inner voice. I wear my feelings on my sleeve - I don't "save" my personal life only for someone I'm romantically involved with. So I don't need a romantic partner to feel like I'm sharing what I want to. My experience has been that a lot of unpleasantness can also come with a romantic relationship - they are far from bliss man, and certainly not some kind of pinnacle of human connection in the majority of cases, once you get passed the sexual factor. Being in love can be so great... but being in love romantically isn't generally the end all and be all of existence like the movies would have us believe. And loneliness can most definitely be felt when you're in a romantic relationship, depending on the relationship. Sometimes that can be the deepest loneliness of all. I think sometimes people, you included, might put too much weight on the romantic side of this concept of human connection. I feel like you need someone or some people to be close to, who you feel really safe with to share your true self with and trust to accept you as you are, including your flaws ... That person or those people doesn't necessarily have to be a girlfriend or wife. Perhaps if you're able to open up on that level in friendship, you'd be much better prepared to open up to woman you want a relationship with? Just a thought. You will need to learn how to stop being in your own head so much with other people, and stop projecting so much to find that, maybe.

I think that you are also at a disadvantage in this context because your family sounds like the shits. Feeling like you're not alone in the world is a feeling that is usually grown from some kind of family support, where the love is unconditional (FYI, there is no such thing as romantic unconditional love). I'm really sorry you can't find that acceptance/love from them like many are lucky to. I'm sure that would remove a big chunk of your sense of loneliness.... But I bet it would help to get the fuck away from them, as so many others have said. I hope you are able to soon!

That's something that I needed to hear. I'm going to take that piece of advice under consideration. Thank you, that was a point well made!

dankind

Yes

PJ_Soul said:

(FYI, there is no such thing as romantic unconditional love)

True. I’ve known my wife for more than 20 years now, and I only recently found out that she thinks “Stairway to Heaven” is a better song than “Highway to Hell.” I’m not going to lie. The thought of divorce did cross my mind.

PJ_Soul

Yes

dankind said:

PJ_Soul said:

(FYI, there is no such thing as romantic unconditional love)

True. I’ve known my wife for more than 20 years now, and I only recently found out that she thinks “Stairway to Heaven” is a better song than “Highway to Hell.” I’m not going to lie. The thought of divorce did cross my mind.

She is the one who should divorce you!! LZ's worst song is better than AC/DC's best!

HesCalledDyer

dankind said:

PJ_Soul said:

(FYI, there is no such thing as romantic unconditional love)

True. I’ve known my wife for more than 20 years now, and I only recently found out that she thinks “Stairway to Heaven” is a better song than “Highway to Hell.” I’m not going to lie. The thought of divorce did cross my mind.

Sounds like a good enough reason to contemplate a split!

JPPJ84

What?! Don’t get me wrong, Highway to Hell is a good song! But it’s no Stairway to Heaven. Not even close!

OffSheGoes35

No

Highway to Hell gets my vote.

JPPJ84

OffSheGoes35 said:

Highway to Hell gets my vote.

So you’re saying you’d be the better wife for Dankind?!

OffSheGoes35

No

Goddamn it.

JPPJ84

Sounds like you just had an epiphany