Lone Wolf

Saltzy23

So, not to get into too many specifics, but I work at a large multi national fashion company that grossed in excess of $1B last year.

I just got back from vacation (to see PJ play in Madrid and Lisbon) to find out that the 2 other members of my department have resigned.

Until future notice, I am solely and completely responsible for paying the entire company, Domestically, Canadian, Puerto Rico and the entire EU.

Oh, and I am going to Montana and Chicago in 3 weeks and we are on the most modern, complicated, custom built out system that exists on Planet Earth, which requires weeks of training to understand and I have no idea who is gonna pay the company, so there is that.

Sweet.

Anyone I would need to discuss any of this with is on vacation or on international trips.

Life is so fucking ridiculous sometimes.

tempo_n_groove

You’d better learn their system real quick, lol. 

Saltzy23

tempo_n_groove said:

You’d better learn their system real quick, lol. 

I know the system.  I helped build it out.

The issue is that no one else in this entire company does, and I am going to be drunk and high as fuck in the middle of Montana 2 pay cycles from now when it needs to be processed.

Saltzy23

I've decided I am asking for a spot bonus to deal with this nonsense.

Pay up fuckers.

lastexitlondon

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

Saltzy23

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

F Me In The Brain

tempo_n_groove

Saltzy23 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

Every time I threatened to quit at my old job I would be pacified with a raise.  I received my first 3 raises with that company via quitting and then they finally started to give me annual raises...

Saltzy23

tempo_n_groove said:

Saltzy23 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

Every time I threatened to quit at my old job I would be pacified with a raise.  I received my first 3 raises with that company via quitting and then they finally started to give me annual raises...

Not to sound dickish, but I am at 150%-200% the national average for what I do, plus a 7.5% annual bonus that was paid out at like 8.2% last year.

2 months ago we moved into a brand new state of the art office 6 blocks from my apartment where I sit in the biggest office there is (because someone decided that payroll/benefits needed their own 500 sq. foot glass box with locked door that 5 people in the company have access to), where I have already installed a putting green and beer fridge.

In short, they have me by the short and curly's and they fucking know it.

I have zero leverage.

F Me In The Brain

Gotta love the world of fashion!

tempo_n_groove

Saltzy23 said:

tempo_n_groove said:

Saltzy23 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

Every time I threatened to quit at my old job I would be pacified with a raise.  I received my first 3 raises with that company via quitting and then they finally started to give me annual raises...

Not to sound dickish, but I am at 150%-200% the national average for what I do, plus a 7.5% annual bonus that was paid out at like 8.2% last year.

2 months ago we moved into a brand new state of the art office 6 blocks from my apartment where I sit in the biggest office there is (because someone decided that payroll/benefits needed their own 500 sq. foot glass box with locked door that 5 people in the company have access to), where I have already installed a putting green and beer fridge.

In short, they have me by the short and curly's and they fucking know it.

I have zero leverage.

That job was 20 years ago anyway.  They ended up paying me really, really well...

It sounds like they pay pretty well too so I'd tell you to go pound sand if you asked for another bonus.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

Saltzy23 said:

tempo_n_groove said:

Saltzy23 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

Every time I threatened to quit at my old job I would be pacified with a raise.  I received my first 3 raises with that company via quitting and then they finally started to give me annual raises...

Not to sound dickish, but I am at 150%-200% the national average for what I do, plus a 7.5% annual bonus that was paid out at like 8.2% last year.

2 months ago we moved into a brand new state of the art office 6 blocks from my apartment where I sit in the biggest office there is (because someone decided that payroll/benefits needed their own 500 sq. foot glass box with locked door that 5 people in the company have access to), where I have already installed a putting green and beer fridge.

In short, they have me by the short and curly's and they fucking know it.

I have zero leverage.

Honestly...

I think this is the time you show them you're worth every penny they paid you.

brianlux

Saltzy23 said:

tempo_n_groove said:

Saltzy23 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

Every time I threatened to quit at my old job I would be pacified with a raise.  I received my first 3 raises with that company via quitting and then they finally started to give me annual raises...

Not to sound dickish, but I am at 150%-200% the national average for what I do, plus a 7.5% annual bonus that was paid out at like 8.2% last year.

2 months ago we moved into a brand new state of the art office 6 blocks from my apartment where I sit in the biggest office there is (because someone decided that payroll/benefits needed their own 500 sq. foot glass box with locked door that 5 people in the company have access to), where I have already installed a putting green and beer fridge.

In short, they have me by the short and curly's and they fucking know it.

I have zero leverage.

Maybe it's time to let them know your have them but the short and curlys.  Same 'em or shave 'em.

Saltzy23

brianlux said:

Saltzy23 said:

tempo_n_groove said:

Saltzy23 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

Every time I threatened to quit at my old job I would be pacified with a raise.  I received my first 3 raises with that company via quitting and then they finally started to give me annual raises...

Not to sound dickish, but I am at 150%-200% the national average for what I do, plus a 7.5% annual bonus that was paid out at like 8.2% last year.

2 months ago we moved into a brand new state of the art office 6 blocks from my apartment where I sit in the biggest office there is (because someone decided that payroll/benefits needed their own 500 sq. foot glass box with locked door that 5 people in the company have access to), where I have already installed a putting green and beer fridge.

In short, they have me by the short and curly's and they fucking know it.

I have zero leverage.

Maybe it's time to let them know your have them but the short and curlys.  Same 'em or shave 'em.

Again, they won't care.  We aren't public, nor are we governed by any federal agencies like the SEC or subject to rigorous SOX compliance audits.  We are a self monitoring, all internal driven company.  If we missed an entire pay cycle because my entire department all decided to walk at the same time the CFO would send out a 'Please understand we were had an extraordinary circumstance occur where all FT members of our Payroll Dept. left en masse, which resulted in a short term issue regarding your pay this week.  We will compensate everyone with an extra $500 bonus on their checks once we are able to bring in new qualified, trained staff to process the payroll', email to the company.

People would be furious, then be happy they are gonna get a few extra bucks (or whatever they handed out),then they would hire a new chimpanzee to do my job, and life would go on.

As someone else said, fashion is not the real world.  It's a fantasy land where nothing that should matters does, and the stuff that has no real world purpose at all is treated like life and death.  I will never fully be able to dissect how this place, or industry in general, functions.

It's like working at the Wonka Chocolate Factory.

Saltzy23

I pay over 4,000 people around the globe.  I bust my ass answering emails, running audits, and doing everything in my power to ensure everyone here is paid accurately and timely on Workday payroll, which is the most state of the art, confusing, highly configurable and intricate system you can get.  Amazon and Walmart just implemented the same system I use, just to give you an idea what we are talking about.  Once in a blue moon I will get an 'Atta boy' or 'Good Job' for the work I do.  The rest of the time I live in a vacuum that no one gives a single fuck about.

4 months ago I decided to start the 1st corporate softball team in the history of the company.   The sheer level of ball washing and lauds I have got for puling it all together from all corners of this place is hysterical.  I was given a budget for hats and jerseys.  The CFO and Controller signed up.  We had a 12 person cheering section at the game last night.  Everyone wants to know if we are signing up for the fall league.  It's all I ever fucking hear about.

That, in a nutshell, is a microcosm of what working in the fashion industry is like.  

F Me In The Brain

Saltzy23 said:

I pay over 4,000 people around the globe.  I bust my ass answering emails, running audits, and doing everything in my power to ensure everyone here is paid accurately and timely on Workday payroll, which is the most state of the art, confusing, highly configurable and intricate system you can get.  Amazon and Walmart just implemented the same system I use, just to give you an idea what we are talking about.  Once in a blue moon I will get an 'Atta boy' or 'Good Job' for the work I do.  The rest of the time I live in a vacuum that no one gives a single fuck about.

4 months ago I decided to start the 1st corporate softball team in the history of the company.   The sheer level of ball washing and lauds I have got for puling it all together from all corners of this place is hysterical.  I was given a budget for hats and jerseys.  The CFO and Controller signed up.  We had a 12 person cheering section at the game last night.  Everyone wants to know if we are signing up for the fall league.  It's all I ever fucking hear about.

That, in a nutshell, is a microcosm of what working in the fashion industry is like.  

You left out the rampant cocaine use

F Me In The Brain

(Not saying that is a bad thing.  )

oftenreading

Saltzy23 said:

tempo_n_groove said:

Saltzy23 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

Every time I threatened to quit at my old job I would be pacified with a raise.  I received my first 3 raises with that company via quitting and then they finally started to give me annual raises...

Not to sound dickish, but I am at 150%-200% the national average for what I do, plus a 7.5% annual bonus that was paid out at like 8.2% last year.

2 months ago we moved into a brand new state of the art office 6 blocks from my apartment where I sit in the biggest office there is (because someone decided that payroll/benefits needed their own 500 sq. foot glass box with locked door that 5 people in the company have access to), where I have already installed a putting green and beer fridge.

In short, they have me by the short and curly's and they fucking know it.

I have zero leverage.

So, I'm not really seeing the problem here....

You get paid a ton of money, you have a ton of perks, you just got back from from vacation and in three weeks you get some more. Your company needs to hire a couple more people, but it doesn't sound like you're involved with that process. It doesn't exactly sound like you're suffering .

Saltzy23

oftenreading said:

Saltzy23 said:

tempo_n_groove said:

Saltzy23 said:

lastexitlondon said:

Threaten to resign if they won't pay up and train someone asap
 Hahah

They won't care.  'We don't negotiate with terrorists.'

They would literally rather have it go boom and figure it out than cave to people making demands.  I am gonna politely ask for a bonus while explaining it's only fair.  I've recruited some of my allies to assist and help explain what the fuck I am now responsible for.  And if they say no, I'm fucked.  They'll say take what you are getting or feel free to walk.

My teammate was given an offer from a competitor and didn't even wanna leave for like $15k more.  He asked for them to split the difference and give him like a $7,500 bump and they told him to piss off.  This after spending like $15k to train him.

We will cut our noses off to spite our faces.  It makes no sense. It just is what it is. 

Every time I threatened to quit at my old job I would be pacified with a raise.  I received my first 3 raises with that company via quitting and then they finally started to give me annual raises...

Not to sound dickish, but I am at 150%-200% the national average for what I do, plus a 7.5% annual bonus that was paid out at like 8.2% last year.

2 months ago we moved into a brand new state of the art office 6 blocks from my apartment where I sit in the biggest office there is (because someone decided that payroll/benefits needed their own 500 sq. foot glass box with locked door that 5 people in the company have access to), where I have already installed a putting green and beer fridge.

In short, they have me by the short and curly's and they fucking know it.

I have zero leverage.

So, I'm not really seeing the problem here....

You get paid a ton of money, you have a ton of perks, you just got back from from vacation and in three weeks you get some more. Your company needs to hire a couple more people, but it doesn't sound like you're involved with that process. It doesn't exactly sound like you're suffering .

I mean, you are not wrong...

#WhitePeopleProblems

Saltzy23

LOL at the CFO swinging by my office to coddle and schmooze me.  They know what is going on and how valuable I am right now.  They all do. 

I guess I'll take their lack of freaking out as a compliment, in that they know I get my shit done and will do what I need to do to get everyone paid.  Everyone on my level keeps telling me that.  

If this place was concerned that there was an issue there would be a palpable sense of worry and urgency, and instead the 2nd highest ranking person in the company just stopped by to talk to me about baseball and ask me how my trip went.