I must look like a target.

brianlux

PureandEasy said:

Damn Brian, I missed the knock out incident, saw stories on the news, but totally missed your personal experience.  And now this?  I can imagine how freaked out that has you.  This sounds like a deranged person who needs to be hospitalized.  

I don't consider myself a target per se, but I am a sucker, a bleeding heart I'm often told.  I'm smarter and more aware now, but when I was younger, I totally would have helped an injured Ted Bundy to his car.  

You're a good soul, PandE. 

brianlux

Thoughts_Arrive said:

brianlux said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

Brian, I've had people pick on me in public a few times and this same thought has and still does go through my head "I must look like a target". It's most often happened on public transport. The carriage would be full of people but I get targeted.
I'm lining up to buy a drink at a nightclub and out of everyone in the que, this guy comes up to me to try egg me on.
I'm lining up to buy merch at a Tool concert and this guy starts being a smart ass to me and accusing me of pushing in when I was there before he even arrived, the list goes on. At a pub years ago, I was setting up the pool table and out of everyone in the pub some guy off his face starts yelling at me that "you think you're fucking good with that jacket" then comes at me with a pool cue. Lucky my classmates from TAFE (not sure what you call them in the USA, it's where you study for certificates and diplomas) entered the pub just in time. I didn't even once look at the guy, I was at the pool table and he was in the distance sitting at a table drinking beer.
Are you tall? I'm 6'2" and people always tell me "it's because you're tall that they target you". I don't think it's that.

I'm sorry to hear about that, Thoughts.  You're a good guy.  You didn't deserve any of that crap!

I'm fairly average- just a hair over 5' 10".  I've always been bullied.  It must be the way I look or carry myself.  I just don't get it.

Meltdown99 said:

Your not a target.  Just curious?  You never mentioned whether you called the police?  

I didn't have a phone so I yelled to the store employee to call the cops.  They didn't.  I went home and filed a report with the sherrif's department right away.

rgambs said:

Ever consider carrying a blackjack?

I'm thinking about getting pepper spray.

Thank you Anna, Marky,  Meltdown, lastexitlion.  Your thoughts are kind and appreciated!

darwinstheory said:

•Guy calls you a "faggot"
•Guy has a club (of whatever sort)
•Guy chases you when you were pulling away

I don't think you are the one with issues Brian. Sounds like this clown was either on something or just a really fucked up individual. Hopefully you were able to have a police officer spend some 1 on 1 time with him.

Thanks, darwinstheory.  I feel like a target but I hope its just bad timing.  I've been attacked twice and threatened a few times and got bullied and punched a lot in school.  I must keep vigilant.

It's places like this and people like you good folks who help me to not be a total misanthrope and hate humanity.  Even if we don't always agree on some topics, you're good people and I appreciate you all!

Yeah, I was always bullied at school, punched, slapped, kicked, teased.
Every single job I have had I have been the victim of bullying.
I always think something is wrong with me and this contributes to my self-hatred and depression.

I've thought often about taking some self-defence or boxing classes.
My experiences on public transport have made me want to.
If a lady didn't step in and tell the meth head to leave me alone who know what damage he could've done.
He was so off his face and aggressive at everyone. When someone is on meth they have superhuman strength which takes many big bodies adults to pin down. He accused me of being rude because I think I can get away with it because "I am a big cunt" as he called me.
He demanded me and other passengers at the back of the carriage to get off our seats so he can rest his bike against them.
The 2 girls next to me in fear got up and moved, I just ignored him and didn't make eye contact then shit escalated. He came at me where I was standing getting all aggressive and ranting how his girlfriend is pregnant (I honestly couldn't tell that she was).
After things settled a bit I moved to sit elsewhere, he continued to call me gay because I was wearing a maroon cardigan and was making fun of me "maroon's a gay colour bla bla bla". Then he and his pig of a girlfriend started smoking meth in front of a mother and her toddler.
I was coming home from a Degas art exhibition and it fucked my day up.
I was in tears and traumatised and kept pacing up and down outside my house and calling people on my phone.
I was also angry and wanted to hurt this guy. 
The next day I went to see Beatles Eight Days a Week at the cinema but I could hardly feel cheery.

There's fucked up people everywhere.
A friend of mine got randomly punched to the back of the head whilst walking through a shopping centre car park by some aggressive woman who he never even noticed.
My other friend got verbally abused aggressively and followed by some guy in the city while he was crossing the road, for no reason. The guy was accusing him of things.
A teenager was standing with his girlfriend in Sydney when some unknown guy he never crossed paths with coward punched him causing the teenager to get KO'd and hit his head on the concrete, he later died from his injuries.
The world is cruel.

It's a hard world indeed, my friend!

brianlux

eeriepadave said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ron1PSGI6GI

Good tune, thank epdave!

brianlux

So good people, how do we eliminate some of this hate and violence in the world?  I can't tell if the world is getting worse that way because my vision is clouded by these incidents that feel like punishments from hell.  God, what did I do to bring this shit into my life?  Though I've never killed or maimed, I guess I've done terrible things to others feelings.  I have to break that shit down, find a better way, make repairs and reparations. That or just disengage or hide which I'm good at. 

But no, the funny thing is, I had the day off today and couldn't stay home.  I had to go out into the world.  I went to other thrift stores that are much safer, and a grocery store and a coffee shop and the filtered water place and I just simply went up to people I know or even total strangers and said something complimentary or nice to them.  Every time I did that, the vibe was great.  Doing that also helped offset the in-between times when I felt like I was fighting that "hell-hounds on my tail" feeling.  A rough ride, for sure.  Nice and quite and mellow at home now, though.

Thoughts_Arrive

brianlux said:

So good people, how do we eliminate some of this hate and violence in the world?  I can't tell if the world is getting worse that way because my vision is clouded by these incidents that feel like punishments from hell.  God, what did I do to bring this shit into my life?  Though I've never killed or maimed, I guess I've done terrible things to others feelings.  I have to break that shit down, find a better way, make repairs and reparations. That or just disengage or hide which I'm good at. 

But no, the funny thing is, I had the day off today and couldn't stay home.  I had to go out into the world.  I went to other thrift stores that are much safer, and a grocery store and a coffee shop and the filtered water place and I just simply went up to people I know or even total strangers and said something complimentary or nice to them.  Every time I did that, the vibe was great.  Doing that also helped offset the in-between times when I felt like I was fighting that "hell-hounds on my tail" feeling.  A rough ride, for sure.  Nice and quite and mellow at home now, though.

Drugs seem to be the issue in my experience.
Heroin, meth, speed, cocaine.
Meth is the big problem in Australia now. 
So how do we go further and understand why people use meth? We are sick as a society.

I am glad you decided to be your self and be nice to people. Glad you feel better.
It took me a few days to get over my experience.

Meltdown99

brianlux said:

So good people, how do we eliminate some of this hate and violence in the world?  I can't tell if the world is getting worse that way because my vision is clouded by these incidents that feel like punishments from hell.  God, what did I do to bring this shit into my life?  Though I've never killed or maimed, I guess I've done terrible things to others feelings.  I have to break that shit down, find a better way, make repairs and reparations. That or just disengage or hide which I'm good at. 

But no, the funny thing is, I had the day off today and couldn't stay home.  I had to go out into the world.  I went to other thrift stores that are much safer, and a grocery store and a coffee shop and the filtered water place and I just simply went up to people I know or even total strangers and said something complimentary or nice to them.  Every time I did that, the vibe was great.  Doing that also helped offset the in-between times when I felt like I was fighting that "hell-hounds on my tail" feeling.  A rough ride, for sure.  Nice and quite and mellow at home now, though.

By getting out of the house you did the right...no sense hiding in the house, you’ll likely never see the dude again...and I wouldn’t take his actions toward you personally, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time...your story could have been someone else’s.

You did the right thing by reporting him.  Hopefully he is located before he harms someone, and hopefully he gets the help needed...

Stay positive...

Thoughts_Arrive

I was nervous as hell every time I got on the train for weeks after my incident.
Kept looking out for the guy at the station he got off at thinking he'd get on from there.
I reported it to the cops and the cop who took my report looked like he was annoyed at me making the report.
He said I'd be contacted but never heard from them.

Meltdown99

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I was nervous as hell every time I got on the train for weeks after my incident.
Kept looking out for the guy at the station he got off at thinking he'd get on from there.
I reported it to the cops and the cop who took my report looked like he was annoyed at me making the report.
He said I'd be contacted but never heard from them.

I think it’s normal to be nervous after an incident...I’d be more concerned if you stay traumatized for long period of time.

After being hit by a car as a pedestrian I was nervous as hell crossing streets, walking in parking lots...not so much now.  Since I took on a car and survived, I can take  on a club carrier maniac...

Thoughts_Arrive

I was depressed for a few days. Pissed off about it.
Another incident a couple of years ago, I was catching the tram after work and some teenagers sat around me. Street kids drinking alcohol. and talking about the phone they just stole. One started asking if I drink alcohol, I said no. Then he started mouthing off to his male and female friend that "this cunt is probably a doctor and thinks drinking is bad bla bla bla". Then his female friend started making fun of my appearance (my ears) and this lady passenger in business clothing cracked up laughing. I felt shit after that. I was angry at how another passenger, a middle aged woman in a professional job could laugh along at these idiots.

brianlux

Thoughts_Arrive said:

brianlux said:

So good people, how do we eliminate some of this hate and violence in the world?  I can't tell if the world is getting worse that way because my vision is clouded by these incidents that feel like punishments from hell.  God, what did I do to bring this shit into my life?  Though I've never killed or maimed, I guess I've done terrible things to others feelings.  I have to break that shit down, find a better way, make repairs and reparations. That or just disengage or hide which I'm good at. 

But no, the funny thing is, I had the day off today and couldn't stay home.  I had to go out into the world.  I went to other thrift stores that are much safer, and a grocery store and a coffee shop and the filtered water place and I just simply went up to people I know or even total strangers and said something complimentary or nice to them.  Every time I did that, the vibe was great.  Doing that also helped offset the in-between times when I felt like I was fighting that "hell-hounds on my tail" feeling.  A rough ride, for sure.  Nice and quite and mellow at home now, though.

Drugs seem to be the issue in my experience.
Heroin, meth, speed, cocaine.
Meth is the big problem in Australia now. 
So how do we go further and understand why people use meth? We are sick as a society.

I am glad you decided to be your self and be nice to people. Glad you feel better.
It took me a few days to get over my experience.

Meth is a huge problem.  Why people get into that stuff is beyond me. 

Thoughts_Arrive said:

I was depressed for a few days. Pissed off about it.
Another incident a couple of years ago, I was catching the tram after work and some teenagers sat around me. Street kids drinking alcohol. and talking about the phone they just stole. One started asking if I drink alcohol, I said no. Then he started mouthing off to his male and female friend that "this cunt is probably a doctor and thinks drinking is bad bla bla bla". Then his female friend started making fun of my appearance (my ears) and this lady passenger in business clothing cracked up laughing. I felt shit after that. I was angry at how another passenger, a middle aged woman in a professional job could laugh along at these idiots.

Bummer that happened too you.  People like that are scum.  I know this is easier said than done, but it's best to ignore those cretins as much as possible.  People who make slighting remarks like that either never grew up or have their own issues they  haven't faced and are too immature to even see that.

PureandEasy

brianlux said:

So good people, how do we eliminate some of this hate and violence in the world?  I can't tell if the world is getting worse that way because my vision is clouded by these incidents that feel like punishments from hell.  God, what did I do to bring this shit into my life?  Though I've never killed or maimed, I guess I've done terrible things to others feelings.  I have to break that shit down, find a better way, make repairs and reparations. That or just disengage or hide which I'm good at. 

But no, the funny thing is, I had the day off today and couldn't stay home.  I had to go out into the world.  I went to other thrift stores that are much safer, and a grocery store and a coffee shop and the filtered water place and I just simply went up to people I know or even total strangers and said something complimentary or nice to them.  Every time I did that, the vibe was great.  Doing that also helped offset the in-between times when I felt like I was fighting that "hell-hounds on my tail" feeling.  A rough ride, for sure.  Nice and quite and mellow at home now, though.

Please don't lose faith in people, the majority are good.  I like how you turned a frightful situation into a way to engage people in a positive way. I work in Philadelphia everyday, and cities can make you jaded but I try to enjoy the diversity and watch people interacting. I find it more often than not bring a smile to my face. Being kind to one another really does make you and the recipient better off overall.

josevolution

Sorry to hear about this Brian there’s a lot of crazy folks out and about glad your not hurt ...

brianlux

PureandEasy said:

brianlux said:

So good people, how do we eliminate some of this hate and violence in the world?  I can't tell if the world is getting worse that way because my vision is clouded by these incidents that feel like punishments from hell.  God, what did I do to bring this shit into my life?  Though I've never killed or maimed, I guess I've done terrible things to others feelings.  I have to break that shit down, find a better way, make repairs and reparations. That or just disengage or hide which I'm good at. 

But no, the funny thing is, I had the day off today and couldn't stay home.  I had to go out into the world.  I went to other thrift stores that are much safer, and a grocery store and a coffee shop and the filtered water place and I just simply went up to people I know or even total strangers and said something complimentary or nice to them.  Every time I did that, the vibe was great.  Doing that also helped offset the in-between times when I felt like I was fighting that "hell-hounds on my tail" feeling.  A rough ride, for sure.  Nice and quite and mellow at home now, though.

Please don't lose faith in people, the majority are good.  I like how you turned a frightful situation into a way to engage people in a positive way. I work in Philadelphia everyday, and cities can make you jaded but I try to enjoy the diversity and watch people interacting. I find it more often than not bring a smile to my face. Being kind to one another really does make you and the recipient better off overall.

Thank you, PureandEasy.  I know I'll have to work hard at not becoming overly wary of people.  And you're right, being kind to people tends to bring out the best in all of us!

josevolution said:

Sorry to hear about this Brian there’s a lot of crazy folks out and about glad your not hurt ...

Thank you, my friend!

Meltdown99

Brian...if you feel troubled, make sure you see counsellor.  After my accident I slipped into mild depression for bit, it wasn’t until I talked to someone to work out my feelings...

brianlux

Meltdown99 said:

Brian...if you feel troubled, make sure you see counsellor.  After my accident I slipped into mild depression for bit, it wasn’t until I talked to someone to work out my feelings...

Thanks, Meltdown.  I'm sorry to hear about your accident and I'm glad you knew to see someone for depression. 

I've had counseling for depression an anxiety and worked in a counseling training program myself.  I pretty much know what I need to do and having worked through a previous assault a few years ago, so I know that this is sort of like having an injury that takes time to heal.  I'm a bit frustrated by that because no matter what coping skills I have, the incident is still playing itself out in my mind several times a day.  When that happens, I acknowledge it, remind myself that I did nothing to instigate the situation, and engage in something more productive.

I'm still waiting to hear from Goodwill Industries.  They said they would "look into it" but have not gotten back to me.  I begin to wonder whether this matters to them or not.

Anyway, I hope you are OK and doing well.

Meltdown99

brianlux said:

Meltdown99 said:

Brian...if you feel troubled, make sure you see counsellor.  After my accident I slipped into mild depression for bit, it wasn’t until I talked to someone to work out my feelings...

Thanks, Meltdown.  I'm sorry to hear about your accident and I'm glad you knew to see someone for depression. 

I've had counseling for depression an anxiety and worked in a counseling training program myself.  I pretty much know what I need to do and having worked through a previous assault a few years ago, so I know that this is sort of like having an injury that takes time to heal.  I'm a bit frustrated by that because no matter what coping skills I have, the incident is still playing itself out in my mind several times a day.  When that happens, I acknowledge it, remind myself that I did nothing to instigate the situation, and engage in something more productive.

I'm still waiting to hear from Goodwill Industries.  They said they would "look into it" but have not gotten back to me.  I begin to wonder whether this matters to them or not.

Anyway, I hope you are OK and doing well.

Thank you.  I hope you are doing well.  Maybe you should do what 80% of Americans do...buy a gun..i kid of course.  Stay positive.

brianlux

Meltdown99 said:

brianlux said:

Meltdown99 said:

Brian...if you feel troubled, make sure you see counsellor.  After my accident I slipped into mild depression for bit, it wasn’t until I talked to someone to work out my feelings...

Thanks, Meltdown.  I'm sorry to hear about your accident and I'm glad you knew to see someone for depression. 

I've had counseling for depression an anxiety and worked in a counseling training program myself.  I pretty much know what I need to do and having worked through a previous assault a few years ago, so I know that this is sort of like having an injury that takes time to heal.  I'm a bit frustrated by that because no matter what coping skills I have, the incident is still playing itself out in my mind several times a day.  When that happens, I acknowledge it, remind myself that I did nothing to instigate the situation, and engage in something more productive.

I'm still waiting to hear from Goodwill Industries.  They said they would "look into it" but have not gotten back to me.  I begin to wonder whether this matters to them or not.

Anyway, I hope you are OK and doing well.

Thank you.  I hope you are doing well.  Maybe you should do what 80% of Americans do...buy a gun..i kid of course.  Stay positive.

I've considered carrying pepper spray.  The only problem is 1) the inconvenience and 2) I sort of wonder if that would be like giving in to evil vibes or inviting trouble.  That sounds a bit metaphysical which isn't me, but I still wonder if it could be so.

hedonist

Maybe it's just being realistic and having some form of protection?  When in my early 20's, I carried pepper spray in my purse - not an inconvenience for me but likely different for a guy - and while I never used it, I felt no sense of succumbing to negativity.  Not even a (false) sense of security!  Just a little something I could try to help myself with if push ever came to worse.

brianlux

hedonist said:

Maybe it's just being realistic and having some form of protection?  When in my early 20's, I carried pepper spray in my purse - not an inconvenience for me but likely different for a guy - and while I never used it, I felt no sense of succumbing to negativity.  Not even a (false) sense of security!  Just a little something I could try to help myself with if push ever came to worse.

I'll look into it.  Maybe carry some pepper spray long enough to get past the unsettled feelings. 

Thoughts_Arrive

tempo_n_groove said:

rgambs said:

Ever consider carrying a blackjack?

FELONY!  Do Not carry one!!!

What's a blackjack?