I tried and for some reason, wasn't able to choose a category in order to start a new discussion, so if someone else wants to start the thread or tell me what I'm possibly doing wrong...I'm open to suggestions.
hedonist
standing on the edge of forever Posts: 24,524
Ha, maintaining myself is a feat in itself, let alone tending to a thread of mine!
For me, adopting the "if it happens, it will in its own time" philosophy made a huge difference. It wasn't even a conscious choice, more like self-evolution. There are always avenues to be taken if someone is honestly looking for a relationship, but if not? Just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you...and to whom.
I've never not been single so have the advantage that I can't really miss what I've never had. As an introvert I'm most comfortable in my own company and I appreciate being able to do as I like and suit myself. I travel alone and I never have to factor anyone else into my plans. My time is my own and only I decide how I spend it. The freedom is wonderful
Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG
Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well. A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG
Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well. A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship.
Then if you are not willing to go out and meet people, then how do you expect to meet people? You say you are lonely. what are you doing to end your loneliness?
Ha, maintaining myself is a feat in itself, let alone tending to a thread of mine!
For me, adopting the "if it happens, it will in its own time" philosophy made a huge difference. It wasn't even a conscious choice, more like self-evolution. There are always avenues to be taken if someone is honestly looking for a relationship, but if not? Just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you...and to whom.
And you know what? Sometimes the threads where the original poster just steps aside and let people run with it, end up being some of the better threads.
I think that is the best attitude to adopt. I really do.
Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG
Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well. A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship.
It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG
Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well. A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship.
It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
These words you should really listen to . Oftenreading has spelt this out to perfection. Well explained
brixton 93
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG
Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well. A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship.
It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
The thought of going to a social gathering to meet new people, would make me anxious. Not only because I would be expecting to make a friend, but also someone else might have the same expectation of me. People are different. And need to find their own way. The way that makes them feel comfortable, so they will be more likely to be successful.For me, I like posting on here. And that feels more comfortable than a face-to-face meeting. Not that I rely completely on this forum to combat loneliness, but it is a great comfort. Sometimes it doesn't take much.
Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG
Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well. A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship.
It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
The thought of going to a social gathering to meet new people, would make me anxious. Not only because I would be expecting to make a friend, but also someone else might have the same expectation of me. People are different. And need to find their own way. The way that makes them feel comfortable, so they will be more likely to be successful.For me, I like posting on here. And that feels more comfortable than a face-to-face meeting. Not that I rely completely on this forum to combat loneliness, but it is a great comfort. Sometimes it doesn't take much.
My words were not directed at you, OSG, but at TA, who has voiced unhappiness with his current state. Of course, everyone has the option to make their own choices as to how they proceed with life. I personally think the idea of doing what is “comfortable” is overrated. Stretching ourselves to grow and change is not comfortable but it is very worthwhile.
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
Join a meet up group man. It's not dating at all - it's just a group of people getting together to share common interests (lots of different kinds of groups to choose from), and to get to know each other, and maybe you meet someone who's a match while you're having fun socially. No pressure. Go here: https://www.meetup.com/cities/au/?_cookie-check=0n1Qk7Bz-sZA-ArG
Thanks. Yeah I know about that site all too well. A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship.
It's not about feeling comfortable. You are already doing what feels comfortable and you're unhappy and lonely. Changing your life will require doing what makes you uncomfortable.
The thought of going to a social gathering to meet new people, would make me anxious. Not only because I would be expecting to make a friend, but also someone else might have the same expectation of me. People are different. And need to find their own way. The way that makes them feel comfortable, so they will be more likely to be successful.For me, I like posting on here. And that feels more comfortable than a face-to-face meeting. Not that I rely completely on this forum to combat loneliness, but it is a great comfort. Sometimes it doesn't take much.
My words were not directed at you, OSG, but at TA, who has voiced unhappiness with his current state. Of course, everyone has the option to make their own choices as to how they proceed with life. I personally think the idea of doing what is “comfortable” is overrated. Stretching ourselves to grow and change is not comfortable but it is very worthwhile.
I know your words weren't directed at me. I just wanted to offer a different perspective. Probably shouldn't have quoted you. My mistake.
I think that life presents us with enough challenges, and that we shouldn't have to go against our true nature in order to challenge ourselves. I think it causes undue pressure that can be harmful at times.I think it is great if someone who normally wouldn't be sociable wants to challenge themselves by putting themselves out there. I just don't think they should feel pressure to change.
The thing is, if you go out to meet strangers you should expect nothing. If you do you have this pressure and you will be disappointed. Maybe it's a good idea just to go out get used to it. No expectations and maybe you feel better after a while and getting more comfortable. You wouldn't find a person for a relationship this way anyway, if you expect too much. But it's true, you'll never know what could happen, so just try it. Sometimes it happens just when you expect nothing. And then it's easy and clear.
So whether you are looking for a relationship or not, you should get yourself out of the house!
I was more thinking about PJ's Single Theory... not single but singles ... like it sounds good... ...to be honest I didn't get what you mean, I had to google it (language barrier)... but yes that's good reason too...
I was more thinking about PJ's Single Theory... not single but singles ... like it sounds good... ...to be honest I didn't get what you mean, I had to google it (language barrier)... but yes that's good reason too...
I was more thinking about PJ's Single Theory... not single but singles ... like it sounds good... ...to be honest I didn't get what you mean, I had to google it (language barrier)... but yes that's good reason too...
Comments
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
For me, adopting the "if it happens, it will in its own time" philosophy made a huge difference. It wasn't even a conscious choice, more like self-evolution. There are always avenues to be taken if someone is honestly looking for a relationship, but if not? Just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you...and to whom.
A psychologist I was seeing on a weekly basis a few years ago kept asking me to join to get me to try overcome my social anxiety and loneliness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't feel comfortable and optimistic about it. I believe it is what caused my psychologist to get frustrated at me and why it ended our relationship.
We could do that.
That is one amazing streak right there. I would love to hear what you've learned about yourself over the years as a result of that...
And you know what? Sometimes the threads where the original poster just steps aside and let people run with it, end up being some of the better threads.
I think that is the best attitude to adopt. I really do.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
You have to put yourself out there.
I think that life presents us with enough challenges, and that we shouldn't have to go against our true nature in order to challenge ourselves. I think it causes undue pressure that can be harmful at times.I think it is great if someone who normally wouldn't be sociable wants to challenge themselves by putting themselves out there. I just don't think they should feel pressure to change.
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
astoria 06
albany 06
hartford 06
reading 06
barcelona 06
paris 06
wembley 07
dusseldorf 07
nijmegen 07
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -
You wouldn't find a person for a relationship this way anyway, if you expect too much. But it's true, you'll never know what could happen, so just try it.
Sometimes it happens just when you expect nothing. And then it's easy and clear.
So whether you are looking for a relationship or not, you should get yourself out of the house!
I was more thinking about PJ's Single Theory... not single but singles ... like it sounds good...
...to be honest I didn't get what you mean, I had to google it (language barrier)... but yes that's good reason too...
I assume we have to wait, he might is sleeping already in Australia?
Yeah I know, but I haven't seen it since then...