Don't force your children to hug relatives over the holidays?

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Comments

  • rgambs said:
    I think this is a great opportunity for parents to think about what lessons they are inadvertently teaching their kids.
    In the extreme case, think about how many times a parent has forced a kid to hug their pervo Uncle who is molesting the child unbeknownst to everyone else.


    Yeah, because everybody's family has the perverted uncle or aunt or grandmother or grandfather. Bring your children up right and they'll let you know if there is a problem.

    Wow.

    So essentially... you're saying parents are responsible for kids getting chronically abused.

    You might want to rethink this.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 28,616
    rgambs said:
    I think this is a great opportunity for parents to think about what lessons they are inadvertently teaching their kids.
    In the extreme case, think about how many times a parent has forced a kid to hug their pervo Uncle who is molesting the child unbeknownst to everyone else.

    Cold, hard truths.

    Gross.
    Yup. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 37,353
    rgambs said:
    I think this is a great opportunity for parents to think about what lessons they are inadvertently teaching their kids.
    In the extreme case, think about how many times a parent has forced a kid to hug their pervo Uncle who is molesting the child unbeknownst to everyone else.


    Yeah, because everybody's family has the perverted uncle or aunt or grandmother or grandfather. Bring your children up right and they'll let you know if there is a problem.

    he said "in the extreme case". also, as someone oftenreading stated, there's a reason kids stay silent about abuse. it has zero to do with being "raised right". that's close to victim shaming right there. 
    "Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk"
    -EV  8/14/93




  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 28,616
    rgambs said:
    I think this is a great opportunity for parents to think about what lessons they are inadvertently teaching their kids.
    In the extreme case, think about how many times a parent has forced a kid to hug their pervo Uncle who is molesting the child unbeknownst to everyone else.


    Yeah, because everybody's family has the perverted uncle or aunt or grandmother or grandfather. Bring your children up right and they'll let you know if there is a problem.

    There are a multitude of ways that an abuser can assure that the child remains silent, including threatening that parents or siblings will be hurt if they tell, or saying that no one will believe them, or insisting that it is the child who has done wrong and the abuser will protect them. It's very naive to insist that a child who is "raised right" can resist this. 
    100% agree. 
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Y'all good at putting words in my mouth. Wow!

    If ya wanna rip on people. I find it weird that a kid who is raised properly would be like the eight year old described in a few posts above me. Great parenting there! Piss and moan all day long.


    The poison from the poison stream caught up to you ELEVEN years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08

  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 28,616
    edited November 2017

    Y'all good at putting words in my mouth. Wow!

    If ya wanna rip on people. I find it weird that a kid who is raised properly would be like the eight year old described in a few posts above me. Great parenting there! Piss and moan all day long.


    There is Plenty of great parents out there who have unfortunately gone through this terrible experience. Great parenting unfortunately doesn't matter in some instances. 
    Post edited by mcgruff10 on
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 37,353

    Y'all good at putting words in my mouth. Wow!

    If ya wanna rip on people. I find it weird that a kid who is raised properly would be like the eight year old described in a few posts above me. Great parenting there! Piss and moan all day long.


    please don't tell me you are referencing my daughter here. 
    "Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk"
    -EV  8/14/93




  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 37,353
    PJ_Soul said:
    PJ_Soul said:
    I think kids are perfectly capable of understanding the nuances of this issue. The average kid generally gets when a situation calls for some behaviour that doesn't come naturally to them. I really don't think not forcing your kids into physical contact with Aunt Ruth or weird Uncle Dan would have a negative effect on their general ability to show respect or to be polite. Now, if a kid refuses all affection, even from a loving mom or dad, or someone who they spend a lot of time with and are actually close to and love, then I would say a parent should perhaps be concerned. It could be evidence of some kind of attachment disorder, emotional issues, or even a sign that the kid is being abused by someone.
    well, it definitely seems odd to us that our daughter is so anti-affection, but for her it's all about control. she'll instigate hugs when I'm leaving for work every day, and stuff like that (she's actually been very upset when I left without giving her one-like if she's taking too long and I leave cause I'll miss my bus), she just likes to be the one in control of it. 
    If she is still initiating hugs and gets mad if she doesn't get one when she wants one, then she is probably not a sociopath. :lol:;)
    PROBABLY. :lol:
    "Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk"
    -EV  8/14/93




  • Thirty Bills UnpaidThirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    edited November 2017

    Y'all good at putting words in my mouth. Wow!

    If ya wanna rip on people. I find it weird that a kid who is raised properly would be like the eight year old described in a few posts above me. Great parenting there! Piss and moan all day long.


    Well you might want to clarify. You said this: Bring your children up right and they'll let you know if there is a problem.

    This unfairly implies a lot of things.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 37,353

    Y'all good at putting words in my mouth. Wow!

    If ya wanna rip on people. I find it weird that a kid who is raised properly would be like the eight year old described in a few posts above me. Great parenting there! Piss and moan all day long.


    I raise my daughter to be herself. and especially not to be forced to conform to any social norms if it makes her uncomfortable. my other daughter is OVERLY affectionate. raised the same. if it is all about how we raise them, how do you reconcile that, genius?
    "Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk"
    -EV  8/14/93




  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 37,353

    Y'all good at putting words in my mouth. Wow!

    If ya wanna rip on people. I find it weird that a kid who is raised properly would be like the eight year old described in a few posts above me. Great parenting there! Piss and moan all day long.


    Well you might want to clarify. You said this: Bring your children up right and they'll let you know if there is a problem.

    This unfairly implies a lot of things.
    it's being an ignorant asshole is what it is. 
    "Oh Canada...you're beautiful when you're drunk"
    -EV  8/14/93




  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    edited November 2017

    Y'all good at putting words in my mouth. Wow!

    If ya wanna rip on people. I find it weird that a kid who is raised properly would be like the eight year old described in a few posts above me. Great parenting there! Piss and moan all day long.


    Ha! Like how you intentionally twisted my words to suit your surly purpose?
    Funny.

    You have the opportunity to explain what you meant by children "raised properly letting you know" if they are being abused by a physically and intellectually superior adult.
    Or you can shoot off at the mouth some more, up to you.
    Post edited by rgambs on
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • Thoughts_ArriveThoughts_Arrive Melbourne, Australia Posts: 15,165
    rgambs said:
    I think this is a great opportunity for parents to think about what lessons they are inadvertently teaching their kids.
    In the extreme case, think about how many times a parent has forced a kid to hug their pervo Uncle who is molesting the child unbeknownst to everyone else.


    Yeah, because everybody's family has the perverted uncle or aunt or grandmother or grandfather. Bring your children up right and they'll let you know if there is a problem.

    Looks like many Catholic children were not raised "right" then.
    Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
  • Dont force your children to be with relatives... problem solved.
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