Need some advice regarding a friendship that's gone sour

rgambs

Prank them back, next time say:
"Really?  Well I'm sorry to hear that for your sake, I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
Do you mind if I make a move on him?  He's been giving me some serious signals..."

F Me In The Brain

Ha!
This ^

Thoughts_Arrive

rgambs said:

Prank them back, next time say:
"Really?  Well I'm sorry to hear that for your sake, I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
Do you mind if I make a move on him?  He's been giving me some serious signals..."

lol that would be funny as I suspect she thinks I like her

lastexitlondon

Hahah defo reverse prank him. Very good 

PJ_Soul

She sounds like a fucking idiot. You're better off without her. Nothing for you to feel foolish about. The only advice I would give, just for next time someone acts like such a loser with you, is bail out earlier.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJ_Soul said:

She sounds like a fucking idiot. You're better off without her. Nothing for you to feel foolish about. The only advice I would give, just for next time someone acts like such a loser with you, is bail out earlier.

Hate to say it but yeah. I mean, we had some mature conversations and that, she looked after me when I came in to her work by giving me free coffee and cakes but I don't understand this behaviour. If you're close to breaking up with your boyfriend why would you take his phone and prank someone. I have mixed feelings. I want to give it another chance but I just feel uncomfortable about this and don't want to be fooled again.

lastexitlondon

PJ_Soul said:

She sounds like a fucking idiot. You're better off without her. Nothing for you to feel foolish about. The only advice I would give, just for next time someone acts like such a loser with you, is bail out earlier.

I totally agree.
Be careful not to feel for this woman because inside you may feel something if you want to still try and be friends but be honest with yourself.
Its ok to feel but be careful because her behaviour was to play a game with yout good nature= fucking idiot as pjsoul says.

Thoughts_Arrive

lastexitlondon said:

PJ_Soul said:

She sounds like a fucking idiot. You're better off without her. Nothing for you to feel foolish about. The only advice I would give, just for next time someone acts like such a loser with you, is bail out earlier.

I totally agree.
Be careful not to feel for this woman because inside you may feel something if you want to still try and be friends but be honest with yourself.
Its ok to feel but be careful because her behaviour was to play a game with yout good nature= fucking idiot as pjsoul says.

Yeah I feel bad about it like I am being too harsh. But I don't want to be mistreated/treated like a fool.

Annafalk

Thoughts_Arrive said:

lastexitlondon said:

PJ_Soul said:

She sounds like a fucking idiot. You're better off without her. Nothing for you to feel foolish about. The only advice I would give, just for next time someone acts like such a loser with you, is bail out earlier.

I totally agree.
Be careful not to feel for this woman because inside you may feel something if you want to still try and be friends but be honest with yourself.
Its ok to feel but be careful because her behaviour was to play a game with yout good nature= fucking idiot as pjsoul says.

Yeah I feel bad about it like I am being too harsh. But I don't want to be mistreated/treated like a fool.

That is very understandable. And now you know a little more about what kind of person she is.

Shyner

Renewel, refresh, meditation, realization
It's all good
Even when it really isn't okay that weakness is your strength. 

Sorry i might be out of bounds here. 

Thoughts_Arrive

There were also two instances where she asked what I've been up to and I've said that I caught up with a friend and she replied "you have friends?". I didn't know what to make of it as she'd give me free coffee and food and we'd chat normally about university and life. Maybe she just has a strange way of joking around? But if someone says something to imply their surprise that I do not have friends kind of gets me down.

Thoughts_Arrive

Shyner said:

Renewel, refresh, meditation, realization
It's all good
Even when it really isn't okay that weakness is your strength. 

Sorry i might be out of bounds here. 

sounds too deep for me to comprehend haha.

Shyner

Nah.  It's just the spirit of sharing my love.  
I can't quite have the depth to read alot so my thoughts might be out of text. 
It's all relative. 
I refer to others with whom you've connected with here. Love to you

Thoughts_Arrive

Shyner said:

Nah.  It's just the spirit of sharing my love.  
I can't quite have the depth to read alot so my thoughts might be out of text. 
It's all relative. 
I refer to others with whom you've connected with here. Love to you

Love back at ya.

rgambs

Thoughts_Arrive said:

There were also two instances where she asked what I've been up to and I've said that I caught up with a friend and she replied "you have friends?". I didn't know what to make of it as she'd give me free coffee and food and we'd chat normally about university and life. Maybe she just has a strange way of joking around? But if someone says something to imply their surprise that I do not have friends kind of gets me down.

That ISN'T a strange way of joking around, it's pretty typical of someone you are close with or have feelings for.
Teasing like that is a way of pointing out that you recognise and accept a person's weaknesses and it's pretty common, here in the states at least.

PJ_Soul

Thoughts_Arrive said:

There were also two instances where she asked what I've been up to and I've said that I caught up with a friend and she replied "you have friends?". I didn't know what to make of it as she'd give me free coffee and food and we'd chat normally about university and life. Maybe she just has a strange way of joking around? But if someone says something to imply their surprise that I do not have friends kind of gets me down.

Good lord. I don't agree with rgambs' interpretation of that comment, at least not when combined with the other crap. But really, teasing with that or not (I think it was more passive aggressive than any sign of affection), just the stuff with the boyfriend and stuff is more than enough to cut her loose. And btw, if you have an inkling that she's acting like this because she has romantic feelings for  you... I would say it doesn't matter. She sounds like she would be a nightmare in any romantic context. Just look how she's treating her current so-called BF.
Seriously, I know that you kind of struggle with things like this, and I get that, but I really think you way overanalyze this stuff, and are also WAY too forgiving of bad behaviour. I mean, she said that and you "didn't know what to make of it"? It's simple - she is a complete weirdo who has absolutely no consideration for you and your feelings. Even if that is her idea of joking around, that and screwing with you about her relationship... she's nuts. That is not normal behaviour. She's fucking with you, plain and simple. I know it's hard to understand people who are like that, but there are plenty of them out there. They are not mysteries wrapped in riddled. They're not something for you to "figure out". They are not complicated souls for this kind of thing. They are just narcissistic, unstable people who aren't worth having around. I really hope you finally learn this lesson: If someone is making you feel bad or down or confused by their bizarre behaviour, they are not people you should consider keeping as friends.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJ_Soul said:

Thoughts_Arrive said:

There were also two instances where she asked what I've been up to and I've said that I caught up with a friend and she replied "you have friends?". I didn't know what to make of it as she'd give me free coffee and food and we'd chat normally about university and life. Maybe she just has a strange way of joking around? But if someone says something to imply their surprise that I do not have friends kind of gets me down.

Good lord. I don't agree with rgambs' interpretation of that comment, at least not when combined with the other crap. But really, teasing with that or not (I think it was more passive aggressive than any sign of affection), just the stuff with the boyfriend and stuff is more than enough to cut her loose. And btw, if you have an inkling that she's acting like this because she has romantic feelings for  you... I would say it doesn't matter. She sounds like she would be a nightmare in any romantic context. Just look how she's treating her current so-called BF.
Seriously, I know that you kind of struggle with things like this, and I get that, but I really think you way overanalyze this stuff, and are also WAY too forgiving of bad behaviour. I mean, she said that and you "didn't know what to make of it"? It's simple - she is a complete weirdo who has absolutely no consideration for you and your feelings. Even if that is her idea of joking around, that and screwing with you about her relationship... she's nuts. That is not normal behaviour. She's fucking with you, plain and simple. I know it's hard to understand people who are like that, but there are plenty of them out there. They are not mysteries wrapped in riddled. They're not something for you to "figure out". They are not complicated souls for this kind of thing. They are just narcissistic, unstable people who aren't worth having around. I really hope you finally learn this lesson: If someone is making you feel bad or down or confused by their bizarre behaviour, they are not people you should consider keeping as friends.

Yeah, when we've had coffee she'd often put her boyfriend down in a joking way. It made me feel uncomfortable as I am friends with him too and didn't know how to reply.
I regret sending her my essay from last semester to help her improve her essay writing. I hope she doesn't do a dirty on me and plagiarise or send it to someone else without my permission out of spite if I cut her loose. I could get into shit at my uni if that's the case.

PJ_Soul

I work at a university. You wouldn't get in trouble. She would. There isn't a rule about sharing your essays with other people. Only one about using someone else's essay and claiming it as your own. Unless you sold it to her, you have nothing to worry about.

Thoughts_Arrive

PJ_Soul said:

I work at a university. You wouldn't get in trouble. She would. There isn't a rule about sharing your essays with other people. Only one about using someone else's essay and claiming it as your own. Unless you sold it to her, you have nothing to worry about.

Thanks. Hopefully the same rule applies here. I just read my universities policy online. I think I'm okay. I gave the essay the semester after we both submitted our work in the same unit. 

vduboise

I would step away and leave them alone. One time prank, I get but repeated and leaving you confused- just shows a level of stupidity. And her putting her boyfriend down- is just a sign to move on. Yeah, its hard to make friends, but there are better people out there. Some friends stay with you and others come in and out your life. This one sounds like an out.

Thoughts_Arrive

vduboise said:

I would step away and leave them alone. One time prank, I get but repeated and leaving you confused- just shows a level of stupidity. And her putting her boyfriend down- is just a sign to move on. Yeah, its hard to make friends, but there are better people out there. Some friends stay with you and others come in and out your life. This one sounds like an out.

Yeah. Strange that her boyfriend hasn't contacted me since. I take it he's upset at me or something.
They've both messed with my head.

vduboise

After a certain age, well for me anyway, you want a level of honesty with your friends. And I get jokes, but this sounds annoying and her responses the same. I say just let it die out. If they contact you, make a choice to respond or not, but I wouldn't reach out anymore. 

Thoughts_Arrive

vduboise said:

After a certain age, well for me anyway, you want a level of honesty with your friends. And I get jokes, but this sounds annoying and her responses the same. I say just let it die out. If they contact you, make a choice to respond or not, but I wouldn't reach out anymore. 

Definitely not.
I haven't contacted them other than her to say why I am pissed off.
I don't even go into her work anymore.
Thanks.