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Stupid is as Stupid does

RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
in All Encompassing Trip
I was reading a friend's post about how she tried to open the wrong car for a good 5 mins. Wrong make too. 

So let's have some laughs! What are some of the funny stupid things you've done?

Here's mine...
Shortly after I got my license, a friend convinced me that all stop signs with a white border were optional. I blew through every stop sign in Green Bay for two days. :lol:
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Comments

  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    Forrest Gump is stupid.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    dankind said:
    Forrest Gump is stupid.
    Hey, this isn't the "criticize a thread name" thread. Bite me. :tongue:
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,603
    I started collecting Pearl Jam merch
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    F Me In The Brain said:
    I started collecting Pearl Jam merch
    Join the club! Oh wait, you did. :lol:
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Maryland Posts: 16,456
    I once spent a good 10-15 minutes searching the house far and wide, lifting couch cushions, looking under furniture, shaking the bed sheets, checking in my car, blah blah blah, cursing up a storm looking for my sunglasses.

    They were where they are in my profile pic.
    Star Lake 00 / Pittsburgh 03 / State College 03 / Bristow 03 / Cleveland 06 / Camden II 06 / DC 08 / Pittsburgh 13 / Baltimore 13 / Charlottesville 13 / Cincinnati 14 / St. Paul 14 / Hampton 16 / Wrigley I 16 / Wrigley II 16 / Baltimore 20 / Camden 22 / Baltimore 24
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,603
    HesCalledDyer said:
    I once spent a good 10-15 minutes searching the house far and wide, lifting couch cushions, looking under furniture, shaking the bed sheets, checking in my car, blah blah blah, cursing up a storm looking for my sunglasses.

    They were where they are in my profile pic.
    I came home one night all fucked up....22 yrs old, first job, was out drinking with my boss.  Left my car at his house before we went out.  Took a taxi back to the townhouse I lived at with my buddy at the end of the night.  2:30 in the AM and I decide that I need to climb in through the bathroom window (window was high and pretty small) rather than wake my buddy up to let me in.
    Apparently I dragged over a huge/heavy iron bench and proceeded to force open the window, break the screen and dump myself through and onto the bathroom floor.
    I then took off my shirt & pants, raided the fridge, and turned on the TV.
    My roommate woke up from all of the racket, came downstairs and found me in my boxers grinding down some old pizza, watching Sportscenter. 

    He said he tried to talk to me but I was speaking my own language.

    Turns out my keys were in my pants pocket. 
    I left my car, not my keys.


    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • JK_LivinJK_Livin South Jersey Posts: 7,365
    I looked for my cell once while I was talking on it.
    Alright, alright, alright!
    Tom O.
    "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"
    -The Writer
  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    I drank a jar of pickle juice and shit myself.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • tweedyfanjentweedyfanjen Posts: 881
    HesCalledDyer said:
    I once spent a good 10-15 minutes searching the house far and wide, lifting couch cushions, looking under furniture, shaking the bed sheets, checking in my car, blah blah blah, cursing up a storm looking for my sunglasses.

    They were where they are in my profile pic.
    I did the same thing with my glasses once. Ever try looking for glasses when you can't see? I finally found them in the suitcase I had packed to go out of town for the weekend.
    I'm through with screaming
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,603
    dankind said:
    I drank a jar of pickle juice and shit myself.
    That was a one time thing?
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    I drank a jar of pickle juice and shit myself.
    That was a one time thing?
    Nah. I do it every Tuesday now for shits and pickles. 
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,150
    dankind said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    I drank a jar of pickle juice and shit myself.
    That was a one time thing?
    Nah. I do it every Tuesday now for shits and pickles. 
    :rofl:
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,603
    dankind said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    I drank a jar of pickle juice and shit myself.
    That was a one time thing?
    Nah. I do it every Tuesday now for shits and pickles. 
    Now that is the Dankind we know and love!
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • dankinddankind Posts: 20,839
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    I drank a jar of pickle juice and shit myself.
    That was a one time thing?
    Nah. I do it every Tuesday now for shits and pickles. 
    Now that is the Dankind we know and love!
    :sick:
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    dankind said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    I drank a jar of pickle juice and shit myself.
    That was a one time thing?
    Nah. I do it every Tuesday now for shits and pickles. 
    Now that is the Dankind we know and love!
    :sick:
    Quite Hobbes-esque.
  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 40,209
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    F Me In The Brain said:
    dankind said:
    I drank a jar of pickle juice and shit myself.
    That was a one time thing?
    Nah. I do it every Tuesday now for shits and pickles. 
    Now that is the Dankind we know and love!
    Explains a lot.
    09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN; 05/04/2024 & 05/06/2024, Vancouver, BC; 05/10/2024, Portland, OR;

    Libtardaplorable©. And proud of it.

    Brilliantati©
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 42,804
    Oh for GOD"S SAKE Rogue Stoner, do you really want to read page after page after page of my lifetime's worth of fuck ups?  FUUUUCK!
    :rofl:
    "Don't give in to the lies.  Don't give in to the fear. Hold on to the truth.  And to hope."
    -Jim Acosta











  • WhatYouTaughtMeWhatYouTaughtMe Posts: 4,957
    edited September 2017
    I recently lost a good amount of weight. So a few weeks ago I was excited when I got out of the shower, stepped on the scale and was under 200 lbs for the first time in a couple of years. I grabbed my phone and took a picture of the scale. I was so focused on making sure you could read the weight, I didn't realize just the tip of my man part made it in the frame. I then proceeded to send it to a few people that always give each other encouragement in our weight loss endeavors. Luckily my girlfriend quickly pointed out the error and I avoided sending it to my boss.
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    WhatYouTaughtMe said:
    I recently lost a good amount of weight. So a few weeks ago I was excited when I got out of the shower, stepped on the scale and was under 200 lbs for the first time in a couple of years. I grabbed my phone and took a picture of the scale. I was so focused on making sure you could read the weight, I didn't realize just the tip of my man part made it in the frame. I then proceeded to send it to a few people that always give each other encouragement in our weight loss endeavors. Luckily my girlfriend quickly pointed out the error and I avoided sending it to my boss.
    You're the male equivalent of "Nip" =)
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    And congrats on the weight loss!
  • WhatYouTaughtMeWhatYouTaughtMe Posts: 4,957
    hedonist said:
    And congrats on the weight loss!
    Thanks. It was so awful. I guess it's been so long since I've seen him, I didn't recognize him! :lol:
  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 42,804
    This one always makes me laugh and cringe simultaneously-- 

    In my first year in college I had a roommate who was from Iran.  One day, I was down at a friends dorm room and were getting high and all of the sudden another friend walked in and told me I was in real big trouble.  Why?  He said because Iranian law allows their citizens in America to extradite anyone they catch using marijuana and have them taken to Iran and put in jail.  He told me the jail term could be for many years, even life.  I was young and naive and totally believed him and was completely freaked out... until Jim G. showed up, this very hip black dude who looked at the other guy and said, "OFF, OFFFF!" and then told me not to worry and that the other guys were full of shit.  :lol:
    "Don't give in to the lies.  Don't give in to the fear. Hold on to the truth.  And to hope."
    -Jim Acosta











  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    dankind said:
    Forrest Gump is stupid.
    No. YOU ARE.
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    OMG... about 3 weeks ago I had 6 little craft beers... forgetting they were pretty strong.  It did not hit me until we got home and i felt sick and sat down SO HARD on the toity and leaned back with full force... suddenly my feet and legs were getting wet.  I had snapped the tank at the bottom when I fell back and water was going EVERYWHERE.

    yeah.. pretty embarrassing. :loser:
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • mace1229mace1229 Posts: 9,576
    Long story I'll make short.
    My brother and I were playing with model rockets. Only we wanted to make a rocket car. We drilled a hole in the back of a car, placed a rocket engine in and lit it. Car ended up going a few hundred feet in the air, landed and broke into a hundred pieces.

    So now we use a kite string, attach a small tube to the top of a new car and hope the string would serve as a track. we held both ends of the string, lit the engine. The car went so fast it broke the string and the same result happened.

    So now our new solution was to forget the car, just use a rocket. I held one end of the string, my brother the other. Lit the rocket, and before I could see what happened my brother is screaming, then collapses.

    On the way to the hospital as we thought he was going to die, he pulls on a string and the entire nose cone from the rocket comes out of his stomach. The rocket hit his shorts, went through them and hit his pelvic bone where the nose cone was dislodged inside him.

    The Dr said 2 inches higher it would have missed his pelvic bone and killed him. I said 2 inches lower and he would have wished it had. He spent 3 nights in the hospital after that.

    He was engaged at the time, and he wife hasn't let him shoot rockets with me since.

    Don't shoot model rockets at each other, and certainly don't use a string as a guided mechanism.
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,603
    mace1229 said:
    Long story I'll make short.
    My brother and I were playing with model rockets. Only we wanted to make a rocket car. We drilled a hole in the back of a car, placed a rocket engine in and lit it. Car ended up going a few hundred feet in the air, landed and broke into a hundred pieces.

    So now we use a kite string, attach a small tube to the top of a new car and hope the string would serve as a track. we held both ends of the string, lit the engine. The car went so fast it broke the string and the same result happened.

    So now our new solution was to forget the car, just use a rocket. I held one end of the string, my brother the other. Lit the rocket, and before I could see what happened my brother is screaming, then collapses.

    On the way to the hospital as we thought he was going to die, he pulls on a string and the entire nose cone from the rocket comes out of his stomach. The rocket hit his shorts, went through them and hit his pelvic bone where the nose cone was dislodged inside him.

    The Dr said 2 inches higher it would have missed his pelvic bone and killed him. I said 2 inches lower and he would have wished it had. He spent 3 nights in the hospital after that.

    He was engaged at the time, and he wife hasn't let him shoot rockets with me since.

    Don't shoot model rockets at each other, and certainly don't use a string as a guided mechanism.
    The best part is the 2nd to last sentence.  I assumed you were young kids when you did this.
    Laughed like crazy when I read the last 2 sentences.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,848
    F Me In The Brain said:
    mace1229 said:
    Long story I'll make short.
    My brother and I were playing with model rockets. Only we wanted to make a rocket car. We drilled a hole in the back of a car, placed a rocket engine in and lit it. Car ended up going a few hundred feet in the air, landed and broke into a hundred pieces.

    So now we use a kite string, attach a small tube to the top of a new car and hope the string would serve as a track. we held both ends of the string, lit the engine. The car went so fast it broke the string and the same result happened.

    So now our new solution was to forget the car, just use a rocket. I held one end of the string, my brother the other. Lit the rocket, and before I could see what happened my brother is screaming, then collapses.

    On the way to the hospital as we thought he was going to die, he pulls on a string and the entire nose cone from the rocket comes out of his stomach. The rocket hit his shorts, went through them and hit his pelvic bone where the nose cone was dislodged inside him.

    The Dr said 2 inches higher it would have missed his pelvic bone and killed him. I said 2 inches lower and he would have wished it had. He spent 3 nights in the hospital after that.

    He was engaged at the time, and he wife hasn't let him shoot rockets with me since.

    Don't shoot model rockets at each other, and certainly don't use a string as a guided mechanism.
    The best part is the 2nd to last sentence.  I assumed you were young kids when you did this.
    Laughed like crazy when I read the last 2 sentences.
    Yeah, I was thinking 11 or so.  The fact that you were adults kind of made my day =)
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • RogueStonerRogueStoner Sunny AZ Posts: 1,716
    brianlux said:
    Oh for GOD"S SAKE Rogue Stoner, do you really want to read page after page after page of my lifetime's worth of fuck ups?  FUUUUCK!
    :rofl:
    Absofuckinlutely!!! Now more than ever! :smiley:
  • HobbesHobbes Pacific Northwest Posts: 6,433
    @mace1229 - Thread winner!
  • Thirty Bills UnpaidThirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    HesCalledDyer said:
    I once spent a good 10-15 minutes searching the house far and wide, lifting couch cushions, looking under furniture, shaking the bed sheets, checking in my car, blah blah blah, cursing up a storm looking for my sunglasses.

    They were where they are in my profile pic.

    I left the house wearing my shades as you wear them. I got into my vehicle headed to the Safeway. I have driving sunglasses in my glove compartment and placed those on for driving.

    I parked at the Safeway and cruised through the parking lot still wearing my driving glasses- forgetting I had my 'kicking it' shades on my hat. Unknowingly... I was rocking the two pairs of shades... saying "Hello" to everybody I saw thinking life was awesome. When I approached the store... I took the shades off and went to place them on my hat- finding the other shades there.

    Man was I cool. No one pair of shades for me. So cool... I needed double shades.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
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