I don't have kids, but if I did, yes indeed, I'd let them do this. I think the #1 responsibility of a parent is to raise their children to be strong, independent adults with street smarts. Helicopter parenting does not achieve that at all. I believe that kids should assume as much responsibility as they are reasonably capable of as early as possible, and that obviously includes walking (or busing) to and from school, assuming they are in a reasonable environment to do so. Those 4 kids taking the bus were clearly completely safe, travelled in a group, with the oldest being an 11 year old, and all of them knowing very well how to safely travel that way. This seems like a perfect and specifically beneficial situation for all 4 of those children and their development, and I am really angry that social services shut down something that is extremely beneficial to those kids' development. It's like Social Services is going out of its way to do those children a disservice, and it's extremely frustrating. Also, I think that parental rights are being violated here.
I have a very close friend who has no children and constantly shares his opinion with those of us that do, and his opinions are often critical or run counter to what he is observing. His opinion is not invalid simply because he is not a father -- but we do laugh at what he shares sometimes and tell him something along the lines of 'we used to think that way too before we became parents' (I know that there are a number of things I changed my view on once I had kids to be responsible for/to.)
Funny thing -- his wife is 8 months pregnant now and for the past few months he has been leading off many statements with "As a FATHER, I think...." Makes us laugh, so hard.
As I said, I do not discount your opinion. I do, however, acknowledge that I lived through a number of ideas/opinions changing when the discussion was about my kids and not some other person's kids.
I can agree to this, without any doubt: In my city, the average 12 year old is considerably less responsible/experienced/self-sufficient than what I observed 30 years ago. You could likely point to many factors as to why this is true....
My sister has children though, as do all of my closest friend. I'm close with them and and fully aware of what the deal is - they discuss these kinds of things with me all the time, value my opinions, and sometimes I am responsible for those children. You don't have to have kids to have an actually informed opinion, especially not when you are involved in childrens' lives anyway. I also was a nanny in my youth. So yes, even though I don't have kids, I feel that I am qualified to form educated opinions when it comes to shit like this, in a general sense. Sure, I know your own kids are different than someone else's. However, I don't think that applied to this topic. I absolutely know for a fact what my parenting philosophy would be if I had kids - I feel very strongly about this issue of independence for children, and how to manage that, and, using my beloved niece and nephew as a point of comparison, I can comfortably say that my parenting philosophy would be very similar to my sister's, since that is how both of us were raised ourselves. As for the responsibility levels of 12 year olds... that depends entirely on the child. Obviously, if your kid is an irresponsible kid who tends to ignore consequences or is easily distracted or something, you're going to give that kid less responsibility than you would a child who is more level-headed and responsible at that age.
Until the blood is yours, you are mommy or daddy from birth, raised them, fed them, nurtured them, 100% responsible for all aspects of their life......it is not the same. Your opinion matters, but being a nanny, aunt or close friend isn't even in the same ballpark as a parent. Sorry to say.
I am not claiming it is the same. Only a moron would claim that. I am claiming that I know myself well enough to know what I would do in this situation. I think it's absolutely ridiculous to suggest that I'm incapable of knowing if I'd let my kids walk to school unless I have my own kids, lol. I suppose there are some people out there who are that out of touch with themselves and who stray that far from their core family beliefs and how their family raises their kids, but I'm not one of them.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I don't have kids, but if I did, yes indeed, I'd let them do this. I think the #1 responsibility of a parent is to raise their children to be strong, independent adults with street smarts. Helicopter parenting does not achieve that at all. I believe that kids should assume as much responsibility as they are reasonably capable of as early as possible, and that obviously includes walking (or busing) to and from school, assuming they are in a reasonable environment to do so. Those 4 kids taking the bus were clearly completely safe, travelled in a group, with the oldest being an 11 year old, and all of them knowing very well how to safely travel that way. This seems like a perfect and specifically beneficial situation for all 4 of those children and their development, and I am really angry that social services shut down something that is extremely beneficial to those kids' development. It's like Social Services is going out of its way to do those children a disservice, and it's extremely frustrating. Also, I think that parental rights are being violated here.
I have a very close friend who has no children and constantly shares his opinion with those of us that do, and his opinions are often critical or run counter to what he is observing. His opinion is not invalid simply because he is not a father -- but we do laugh at what he shares sometimes and tell him something along the lines of 'we used to think that way too before we became parents' (I know that there are a number of things I changed my view on once I had kids to be responsible for/to.)
Funny thing -- his wife is 8 months pregnant now and for the past few months he has been leading off many statements with "As a FATHER, I think...." Makes us laugh, so hard.
As I said, I do not discount your opinion. I do, however, acknowledge that I lived through a number of ideas/opinions changing when the discussion was about my kids and not some other person's kids.
I can agree to this, without any doubt: In my city, the average 12 year old is considerably less responsible/experienced/self-sufficient than what I observed 30 years ago. You could likely point to many factors as to why this is true....
My sister has children though, as do all of my closest friend. I'm close with them and and fully aware of what the deal is - they discuss these kinds of things with me all the time, value my opinions, and sometimes I am responsible for those children. You don't have to have kids to have an actually informed opinion, especially not when you are involved in childrens' lives anyway. I also was a nanny in my youth. So yes, even though I don't have kids, I feel that I am qualified to form educated opinions when it comes to shit like this, in a general sense. Sure, I know your own kids are different than someone else's. However, I don't think that applied to this topic. I absolutely know for a fact what my parenting philosophy would be if I had kids - I feel very strongly about this issue of independence for children, and how to manage that, and, using my beloved niece and nephew as a point of comparison, I can comfortably say that my parenting philosophy would be very similar to my sister's, since that is how both of us were raised ourselves. As for the responsibility levels of 12 year olds... that depends entirely on the child. Obviously, if your kid is an irresponsible kid who tends to ignore consequences or is easily distracted or something, you're going to give that kid less responsibility than you would a child who is more level-headed and responsible at that age.
Until the blood is yours, you are mommy or daddy from birth, raised them, fed them, nurtured them, 100% responsible for all aspects of their life......it is not the same. Your opinion matters, but being a nanny, aunt or close friend isn't even in the same ballpark as a parent. Sorry to say.
she's not saying it is the same. she is saying she is able to form an informed opinion based on her own experiences dealing with kids. I am a father of two, and I'd say that, while parenting opened my eyes in some aspects of life, well, many actually, things like that are constant based on common sense, how you grew up yourself, etc. I can honestly say that my stance on this and many other "hot topics" of today would be the same now as they were before I had kids myself.
there are a shit ton of people who have kids who have a way less informed opinion, or at least put into practice, about parenting than those who don't.
Thanks HFD.... Side note: I am having extreme deja vu right now about this exchange, staring with F Me's reply, right up to yours. It's tripping me out, lol.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Thanks HFD.... Side note: I am having extreme deja vu right now about this exchange, staring with F Me's reply, right up to yours. It's tripping me out, lol.
That's because pretty much the same interaction that I remember reading a while back...
I never did because my daughter's preschool was too far to walk. Then in first grade she went to private Catholic School till the 8th grade too far to walk so walking to school was never became an issue. If the distance was close and depending on the route I don't think I would've an issue with her walking to school.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
Thanks HFD.... Side note: I am having extreme deja vu right now about this exchange, staring with F Me's reply, right up to yours. It's tripping me out, lol.
That's because pretty much the same interaction that I remember reading a while back...
Oh, that makes sense!
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Thanks HFD.... Side note: I am having extreme deja vu right now about this exchange, staring with F Me's reply, right up to yours. It's tripping me out, lol.
That's because pretty much the same interaction that I remember reading a while back...
Oh, that makes sense!
it's funny....as i was typing it out, i thought 'have i been here before?'. lol
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there are a shit ton of people who have kids who have a way less informed opinion, or at least put into practice, about parenting than those who don't.
www.headstonesband.com
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
www.headstonesband.com