Do you let your kids walk to school?

tempo_n_groove

I'm noticing a trend and wanted to know if you let your kids walk to school or not?  Please explain your answer as to why you do or don't let your kids walk to school.

elvistheking44

Not yet.  I walk my daughter who turned 11 this Spring to school everyday.  We only live a few blocks away and I'm certain she would be fine, but it is actually the best part of my day.  She talks to me like a friend on that walk.  Tells me if things are bothering her and what her day ahead is like.  She has a phone now, and next year will be free to leave school without a parent at dismissal so Im sure next year she will be on her own.  I've done this everyday since she was 3.  I don't let her walk because of me, not because of her!  I guess I'm selfish.

jeffbr

No.

My kids are grown now, but nope, they didn't walk. We lived miles from school, 2 lane narrow shouldered road with no sidewalk leading to a 2 lane state highway with narrow shoulders and no sidewalk. Not possible.

tbergs

No.

I don't because we homeschool now, but we used to walk or bike to school everyday. Similar to Elvis' statement, not because I didn't think he could do it or that it was unsafe, but so we could have that time together. He loved it and so did we. We lived in a great neighborhood at the time.

oftenreading

Yes.

Yes. My kid is in her last year of high school and she's been walking on her own since she was little. For K and Grade 1 I walked with her, thereafter she walked and felt proud of it. The middle school years were more of an issue because it was a long way away and over a highway, but she walked, or took the bus, or carpooled. High school was again easily walkable so that's what she did. I'm a big proponent of independence for kids. The media representations of abductions and other dangers are vastly overblown. The biggest challenge for us is that her friends weren't allowed to walk with her; in fact, one friend was still not allowed to walk to and from school last year. At 16. 

mcgruff10

I would definitely allow them to walk to school but we living in a busing district. I don't think you are allowed to walk to school. 

PJ_Soul

I won't vote because I don't have kids, but FWIW, if I did have kids I would definitely want them to walk to school, assuming it's within reasonable walking distance (I figure if it takes more than 20 or 25 minutes to walk to school, it's too far to walk, really just because of time constraints). I think it's horrible that walking to school has become an "issue" now. I mean, these days kids aren't more than 100 feet away from an adult at all given times; at the very least, walking to school alone is a nice time for these poor children to experience a tiny amount of independence and "adult-free" time, something that is sorely lacking for most kids now. I find it depressing.

Go Beavers

On a related note, a big part of traffic congestion in towns is due to parents driving their kids to school. 

HughFreakingDillon

Yes.

two daughters: one just turned 11, the other one is close to 8. 

my wife is off mondays, so this year she started meeting them halfway between school and home at the end of the day. we drive them in the mornings as we simply can't get them out of bed in time to walk. recently she told them just to walk all the way home, which I was nervous about, as they have to cross one very busy, yet controlled, intersection. But we have trained them to be very aware of traffic, as there are lot of asses out there. you don't just hit the button and walk. always assume some shithead is going to run the light or something. so far so good. 

I remember being that age and it being a rarity seeing a parent drive their kid to school. if it was too far or they were too young, they were on the bus. if not, you walked or rode your bike. 

I was walking/riding to and from school on my own from grade 3. +30 or -45. didn't matter. but no, not uphill both ways. 

whenever we have this conversation with friends, there are inevitably the paranoid helicopters out there that are terrified to let their kids outside. when in fact there are no more criminals or diddlers out there than before, it's just reported more. you teach your kids to be vigilant and smart, and everything will be fine. 

tempo_n_groove

I am interested to hear the point of view from a parent whom won't let their kids walk to school for fear of abductions or criminal mischief.

PJ_Soul

For sure, I remember when a parent would on the rare occasion pick a kid up for some reason, everyone kind of envied that lucky student for not having to walk home for once, and some would try to mooch a ride with the person, lol.
Another thing about walking to and from school is the extra exercise we all got.
Hey, do kids still ride bikes to school?? I used to do that a lot too - basically ride my bike in fair weather, and walk in foul. We had a massive bike rack area that fit probably 200 bikes, and it was always full on nice days. That means about 1/3 of the students would ride their bikes to school on a regular basis. It was the standard mode of transportation for kids back then... Now that I think about it, I very rarely see a kid riding a bike now, just to get around. How sad!!

oftenreading

Yes.

mcgruff10 said:

I would definitely allow them to walk to school but we living in a busing district. I don't think you are allowed to walk to school. 

Not allowed?? That's completely bizarre. 

PJ_Soul

oftenreading said:

mcgruff10 said:

I would definitely allow them to walk to school but we living in a busing district. I don't think you are allowed to walk to school. 

Not allowed?? That's completely bizarre. 

Very bizarre. Isn't taking the bus a choice? What are they going to do if you reject the bus and have the kid walk?? Surely parents are allowed to have their kids walk if they want to. And if not, I'd probably be taking the school district to court over it. They can't fucking tell you what your kid can and can't do outside of school property.

PJPOWER

My kiddo is not old enough, but I would have no problem letting him walk to school.  I would have more of an issue letting a daughter roam around the mall.

elvistheking44

tempo_n_groove said:

I am interested to hear the point of view from a parent whom won't let their kids walk to school for fear of abductions or criminal mischief.

I'll chime in with my main concerns.  I have absolutely no fear of abduction.  Absolutely none.  I live in a very busy neighborhood, we cross 2, separate 4 way stop signs on our walk.  Almost on a daily basis someone rolls the stop sign while either looking at their phone or just not giving a damn.  Also, the main street is a busy path for cyclists into downtown.  NEVER once has a cyclist stopped at these intersections.  Numerous times a cyclist has blown past me and my daughter at an alarming rate, fast enough to seriously injure themselves and us.

Also, it is not common but several times in the past year 12 and 13 year olds have been mugged while walking to and from school in the neighborhood for their cell phones.  Both instances it took the police over 45 minutes to arrive.  These are normal hazards of living in the city unfortunately that we deal with.  They wont keep me from letting my daughter walk to school, but I do see how some worry enough to keep a close eye on their kids.....

PJ_Soul

I think the better reaction would be to teach their kids how to deal with such risks themselves rather than removing them from their environment.... That is how parents are going to raise independent, self-sufficient, responsible adults, which is actually all parents' primary job.

HughFreakingDillon

Yes.

PJ_Soul said:

I think the better reaction would be to teach their kids how to deal with such risks themselves rather than removing them from their environment.... That is how parents are going to raise independent, self-sufficient, responsible adults, which is actually all parents' primary job.

yes!

cincybearcat

School is too far for her to walk, even when she gets older.  If it was closer and the same school system or similar to where we will be living soon...then yes I would allow her to walk as early as next year.

I walked to school from 3rd grade to 8th grade.

cincybearcat

PJ_Soul said:

I think the better reaction would be to teach their kids how to deal with such risks themselves rather than removing them from their environment.... That is how parents are going to raise independent, self-sufficient, responsible adults, which is actually all parents' primary job.

I agree with this to a point, however it is also the parents job to assess risk and try to keep their kids away from some of it.  

So I think if a kid had to walk in a very busy area with lots of cars and lots of people not following traffic laws....because the outcome can be so severe, it can be appropriate to just not allow them to walk there.  Especially younger kids that even though you teach them, if they get to playing with friends on the way, they are likely to make a mistake themselves.

elvistheking44

elvistheking44

PJ_Soul said:

I think the better reaction would be to teach their kids how to deal with such risks themselves rather than removing them from their environment.... That is how parents are going to raise independent, self-sufficient, responsible adults, which is actually all parents' primary job.

Youre forgetting the outside factor. You can raise a kid that always looks both ways, obeys all the crosswalk signs and follows the rules and that can still be killed by someone who isn't paying attention or thinks your phone is worth $20.  Your kid can be totally independent, self sufficient and responsible and still get mugged.  What's the proper protocol for being mugged, or run over.  It's a possibility living in the city, so I understand some parents concerns.

PJ_Soul

cincybearcat said:

PJ_Soul said:

I think the better reaction would be to teach their kids how to deal with such risks themselves rather than removing them from their environment.... That is how parents are going to raise independent, self-sufficient, responsible adults, which is actually all parents' primary job.

I agree with this to a point, however it is also the parents job to assess risk and try to keep their kids away from some of it.  

So I think if a kid had to walk in a very busy area with lots of cars and lots of people not following traffic laws....because the outcome can be so severe, it can be appropriate to just not allow them to walk there.  Especially younger kids that even though you teach them, if they get to playing with friends on the way, they are likely to make a mistake themselves.

Well yes, there is of course a line there. But I'd say that traffic concerns are well below that line. Any kid can learn how to be cautious and safe even in crazy traffic. Unless people are regularly driving up on the sidewalk and mowing people down, I don't really see how traffic is a reason to keep a kid from walking to school, just as long as they know how to deal with it.... if you have a kid who clearly can't deal with it, like they are prone to losing focus or are hyperactive to the point of darting out into streets, then okay, that's a good reason to be concerned. Otherwise, the kids can learn to be safe pretty easily. Of course age is a factor. You're not going to send a 5 year old walzing around busy traffic. Common sense, right? Cell phone snatchings? Well, closer to the line, but from what I read, that still more sounds like an issue that is handled through awareness rather than removal. I.e. keep your phone in a secure place, and keep your bag securely on your person, and be aware of your surroundings, etc. Now if the neighborhood is full of gang bangers looking to beat kids up and shit like that, or if there is serial child killer on the loose, then the line is crossed, obviously.

PJ_Soul

elvistheking44 said:

PJ_Soul said:

I think the better reaction would be to teach their kids how to deal with such risks themselves rather than removing them from their environment.... That is how parents are going to raise independent, self-sufficient, responsible adults, which is actually all parents' primary job.

Youre forgetting the outside factor. You can raise a kid that always looks both ways, obeys all the crosswalk signs and follows the rules and that can still be killed by someone who isn't paying attention or thinks your phone is worth $20.  Your kid can be totally independent, self sufficient and responsible and still get mugged.  What's the proper protocol for being mugged, or run over.  It's a possibility living in the city, so I understand some parents concerns.

I'm saying you teach your kid to be aware of someone who is driving dangerously too, just like we do as adults.
And I'm not saying kids should be totally independent, self sufficient and responsible. I'm saying that is where you want them to get when they're grown up. Teaching them to handle these things while they're growing is how you get there. As for getting mugged or run over... Life is full of risks. Little kids being mugged is partly avoidable - there are ways to stay safer in that context. Obviously being out in the world in any way isn't 100% safe, but that is life. I think that trying to protect children from that fact of life is generally a mistake because they won't learn how to cope in the world as well as they grow, thus not being totally independent, self sufficient and responsible once they reach adulthood.

Just remember, most people's kids are actually a lot more likely to be hurt in a car accident while you're driving them around than they are when they walk to school.

jeffbr

No.

Haha, it is strange that people seem to be arguing that you should put kids in harms way to teach them a lesson and not shelter them. Good one! I wasn't going to send my kids down a 2 lane, 55mph state highway with narrow shoulders. And somehow, exercising that caution, my kids still ended up being successful and independent. Crazy, I know! 

PJ_Soul

jeffbr said:

Haha, it is strange that people seem to be arguing that you should put kids in harms way to teach them a lesson and not shelter them. Good one! I wasn't going to send my kids down a 2 lane, 55mph state highway with narrow shoulders. And somehow, exercising that caution, my kids still ended up being successful and independent. Crazy, I know! 

That isn't what I'm saying at all. I'm saying kids can be taught how to avoid harm's way, within reason. And yeah, kids walking down a busy two-lane highway with no sidewalk crosses a line. I'm not suggesting that parents don't use common sense, geez.

oftenreading

Yes.

jeffbr said:

Haha, it is strange that people seem to be arguing that you should put kids in harms way to teach them a lesson and not shelter them. Good one! I wasn't going to send my kids down a 2 lane, 55mph state highway with narrow shoulders. And somehow, exercising that caution, my kids still ended up being successful and independent. Crazy, I know! 

No, that's not what anyone is arguing. 

tempo_n_groove

jeffbr said:

Haha, it is strange that people seem to be arguing that you should put kids in harms way to teach them a lesson and not shelter them. Good one! I wasn't going to send my kids down a 2 lane, 55mph state highway with narrow shoulders. And somehow, exercising that caution, my kids still ended up being successful and independent. Crazy, I know! 

Every situation is different.  I would tend to err on caution with your situation.

My cousin used to take her son to school because that was "their" time which I understand.

Anybody drive their kids to the bus stop?

HughFreakingDillon

Yes.

elvistheking44 said:

PJ_Soul said:

I think the better reaction would be to teach their kids how to deal with such risks themselves rather than removing them from their environment.... That is how parents are going to raise independent, self-sufficient, responsible adults, which is actually all parents' primary job.

Youre forgetting the outside factor. You can raise a kid that always looks both ways, obeys all the crosswalk signs and follows the rules and that can still be killed by someone who isn't paying attention or thinks your phone is worth $20.  Your kid can be totally independent, self sufficient and responsible and still get mugged.  What's the proper protocol for being mugged, or run over.  It's a possibility living in the city, so I understand some parents concerns.

if you are aware of your surroundings, unless the car is going the speed of light, you can avoid these things. pedestrian/vehicle collisions are rare. and usually happen at night or in the early morning. 

just a thought, and based on nothing but my own parenting: I think it might be a better case to teach a kid these things when they are younger rather than older, and the reason is this: kids at a younger age are eager to learn and listen more intently when given responsibility as opposed to the pre-teen that will just be "yeah yeah yeah, I get it" and continue texting. You instill it in them when you know they are willing to learn big kid responsibilities to where it becomes almost instinctual. 

sure, it may take longer in the teaching process, but it just might be more effective. 

rustneversleeps

i might have to print this thread out. priceless.

PJ_Soul

rustneversleeps said:

i might have to print this thread out. priceless.

That's pretty sad.

mcgruff10

oftenreading said:

mcgruff10 said:

I would definitely allow them to walk to school but we living in a busing district. I don't think you are allowed to walk to school. 

Not allowed?? That's completely bizarre. 

yeah we have courtesy busing so they aren't allowed to walk to school.  of course parents can drop off and pick up their child.