How old is too young?

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  • JH6056
    JH6056 Posts: 2,437
    So dago1976, wha do you make of all of this?  You started this version of the conversation... what is your takeaway?
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    edited July 2017
    I'd like to know how young is too old, dammit.

    Goddamn common sense and knowing one's kiddos!  Most parents worth their salt get what is the right thing to do.  Don't damn others for choices you might not make.  Variables are different.  PEOPLE (even children!?) are different.  Thank god for that.

    I've no children and haven't seen any at the shows I've attended (except for myself, first one at 12 - KISS and Cheap Trick...handled that pretty fucking well, and no parents with me save for the shameful drop-off and pick-up at the venue).

    (*JH, dago probably high-tailed it somewhere around page 2 =) )
    Post edited by hedonist on
  • JH6056
    JH6056 Posts: 2,437
    hedonist said:
    I'd like to know how young is too old, dammit.

    Goddamn common sense and knowing one's kiddos!  Most parents worth their salt get what is the right thing to do.  Don't damn others for choices you might not make.  Variables are different.  PEOPLE (even children!?) are different.  Thank god for that.

    I've no children and haven't seen any at the shows I've attended (except for myself, first one at 12 - KISS and Cheap Trick...handled that pretty fucking well, and no parents with me save for the shameful drop-off and pick-up at the venue).

    (*JH, dago probably high-tailed it somewhere around page 2 =) )
    Well-said Hedonist!  

    And yes, I thought the same thing, dago has turned up his collar, lowered his hat over his face, and is slinking out the side exit... :)
  • pjhawks
    pjhawks Posts: 12,955
    brianlux said:
    When I was a little kid my parents like to do adult things with their adult friends and us kids stayed home with the baby sitter.  I had no problem with that and I had no interest in doing adult things with my adult parents.  So why is the current parenting generation so hung up about wanting their children to participate in adult activities?  Are they themselves having a hard time being adults?  Is it because they want to show off their kids to everyone around them?  Do they want to turn their children into miniature adults? Honestly, I don't get it. (And yes, though not a biological father, I have had parenting experience.)

    yes unfortunately some (not all) parents today treat their kids as accessories. they want to do things so they get a lot of likes on facebook and instragram. it's as much or more about the parents than the kids.  also parents today rather be the "cool' parent instead of the discipline parent.  again not all parents are this way but if you take a 5 year old to a concert...
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,669
    pjhawks said:
    brianlux said:
    When I was a little kid my parents like to do adult things with their adult friends and us kids stayed home with the baby sitter.  I had no problem with that and I had no interest in doing adult things with my adult parents.  So why is the current parenting generation so hung up about wanting their children to participate in adult activities?  Are they themselves having a hard time being adults?  Is it because they want to show off their kids to everyone around them?  Do they want to turn their children into miniature adults? Honestly, I don't get it. (And yes, though not a biological father, I have had parenting experience.)

    yes unfortunately some (not all) parents today treat their kids as accessories. they want to do things so they get a lot of likes on facebook and instragram. it's as much or more about the parents than the kids.  also parents today rather be the "cool' parent instead of the discipline parent.  again not all parents are this way but if you take a 5 year old to a concert...
    Couldn't agree more and working with the public, I see that a lot.  The irony though is that kids are better off and happier in the long-run when given boundaries and reasonable discipline and by bringing them up that way, when they get older, they're actually more likely to be cool with their parents anyway.
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • my2hands
    my2hands Posts: 17,117
    brianlux said:
    When I was a little kid my parents like to do adult things with their adult friends and us kids stayed home with the baby sitter.  I had no problem with that and I had no interest in doing adult things with my adult parents.  So why is the current parenting generation so hung up about wanting their children to participate in adult activities?  Are they themselves having a hard time being adults?  Is it because they want to show off their kids to everyone around them?  Do they want to turn their children into miniature adults? Honestly, I don't get it. (And yes, though not a biological father, I have had parenting experience.)


  • on2legs
    on2legs Posts: 16,015
    Live and let live. 
    1996: Randall's Island 2  1998: East Rutherford | MSG 1 & 2  2000: Cincinnati | Columbus | Jones Beach 1, 2, & 3 | Boston 1 | Camden 1 & 2 2003: Philadelphia | Uniondale | MSG 1 & 2 | Holmdel  2005: Atlantic City 1  2006: Camden 1 | East Rutherford 1 & 2 2008: Camden 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 (#25) | Newark (EV)  2009: Philadelphia 1, 2 & 4  2010: Newark | MSG 1 & 2  2011: Toronto 1  2013: Wrigley Field | Brooklyn 2 | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2015: Central Park  2016: Philadelphia 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Fenway Park 2 | MSG (TOTD)  2017: Brooklyn (RnR HOF)  2020: MSG | Asbury Park  2021: Asbury Park  2022: MSG | Camden | Nashville  2024: MSG 1 & 2 (#50) | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2025: Raleigh


  • JH6056
    JH6056 Posts: 2,437
    edited July 2017
    brianlux said:
    pjhawks said:
    brianlux said:
    When I was a little kid my parents like to do adult things with their adult friends and us kids stayed home with the baby sitter.  I had no problem with that and I had no interest in doing adult things with my adult parents.  So why is the current parenting generation so hung up about wanting their children to participate in adult activities?  Are they themselves having a hard time being adults?  Is it because they want to show off their kids to everyone around them?  Do they want to turn their children into miniature adults? Honestly, I don't get it. (And yes, though not a biological father, I have had parenting experience.)

    yes unfortunately some (not all) parents today treat their kids as accessories. they want to do things so they get a lot of likes on facebook and instragram. it's as much or more about the parents than the kids.  also parents today rather be the "cool' parent instead of the discipline parent.  again not all parents are this way but if you take a 5 year old to a concert...
    Couldn't agree more and working with the public, I see that a lot.  The irony though is that kids are better off and happier in the long-run when given boundaries and reasonable discipline and by bringing them up that way, when they get older, they're actually more likely to be cool with their parents anyway.
    Wow, as someone who works with dysfucntional families and on child development as a profession, I gotta say to both of you Brianlux and pjhawks: you are jumping to a wild number of conclusions about the links between parents saying they want to bring young kids to a concert, their parental motivations, and the lifetime outcomes for those kids.  To assume that parents who want to share a show with their kids (including some kids who begged their parent per above) are therefore being raised with no boundaries or reasonable discipline?  Brianlux I admire your concert resume forever but seriously?  You know more about this and are more qualified to judge that than pediatricians who've been asked about this or other folks who've successfully raised multiple kids into thriving adults?  That is really presumptuous of you and - more importantly - factually and scientifically ridiculous. 

    I deal every working day with: parents who either want to be out partying themselves and don't really want to parent at all; parents who want to be friends with their kids more than parents; and the group who feel bad about holding boundaries and disciplining their kids, think they're being "Too harsh".  And I see and have to help others see the often damaging impacts of those situations.  And then help parents understand how setting and holding more boundaries now will make their parenting lives better now and in the future, and be way better for their kids, and help them with how to do it (there are even multiple reasons that different parents struggle with holding boundaries, so helping them learn how to set them has to be differentiated too).  

    There are miles of space and other factors between a parental decision on whether you take your kids to certain events or not, how you're raising your kids overall, and what your kids life outcomes will be.  You're entitled to your opinion, but wow... folks with no kids telling other people if you take young kids to a show your kids don't have boundaries or reasonable discipline?  Now I've heard everything on this board!
    Post edited by JH6056 on
  • mace1229
    mace1229 Posts: 9,874
    I don't get half the comments in this thread.
    first, the repeated notion of "why would you let what others think dictate what you do?" Well that's called common courtesy. I'm assuming anyone who says that is the guy holding the annoying banner blocking the view of 20 people behind him for half the show. Taking into consideration how others feel is the basics behind common courtesy, so I don't know why that is treated like a bad thing.

    that being said, who has ever been bothered by a kid at a show? Never even occurred to me that anyone could be bothered by a kid until I read some comments. My first though when I see a kid at a show or game is "dang it, now I'm going to look like a dick if I reach over their head to grab a foul ball or t-shirt," but that's about the extent of it.
    what age is too young is up to the parents. Personally for me probably not under 12 for PJ. I know very few kids 7 or 8 who are into their own music that isn't going to make me wish hateful things on the band. And so I just don't see the point of spending that money. 
    Each parent should decide their own filter. I don't get the criticism about that. I personally probably wouldn't want to expose my kids to everything that entails a Pj show until 10 or 12. And just because what said on the playground is worse than anything on TV doesn't mean I'm going to put on Game of Thrones for them. I'll still censor when I can until they are older.
  • 2-feign-reluctance
    2-feign-reluctance TigerTown, USA Posts: 23,462
    OP got a bunch of dissertations on parenting. Haha! 
    www.cluthelee.com
  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    I like to socialize with my peers at concerts. Five year olds are not my peers. I don't understand people who think they are. I hope I'm never seated next to a five year old. I won't think it's cute, and I sure as hell won't refrain from lighting a joint right next to that child. I believe I read a post in this thread with a parent saying she/he calls security on the pot smokers? Holy Batmobile. Please tell me I misunderstood that.
  • cp3iverson
    cp3iverson Posts: 8,702
    edited July 2017
    No matter what it just comes down to common sense like everything else. It is the most important job on earth. 

    Want to teach them something?  Show them the merch line.

    Took my 2 yr old to ACL'14.  Found a nice place in the shade and put down a blanket. Not a lot of foot traffic on the outskirts. We played games everyday and listened to great music. 
    Post edited by cp3iverson on
  • nicole
    nicole Posts: 64
    My husband just took our 6 year old to Iron Maiden... our son's favorite band since he was 1 years old! We drove from winnipeg to St. Paul so they could go and made a family trip out of it. He fully knew going into the show that they may have to leave early, he wouldn't be able to drink, and had to accept this show would be a different experience than other times he has seen them. Our son LOVED his first concert and now shares a love and appreciation for live music, just like his mommy and daddy. He rocked out and air drummed the entire night and came home with a t shirt that might fit him in 4 years... and a priceless memory of seeing his favorite band with his daddy.  Music is important in our family and our kids appreciate and love music as much as we do! 
  • JH6056
    JH6056 Posts: 2,437
    edited July 2017
    nicole said:
    My husband just took our 6 year old to Iron Maiden... our son's favorite band since he was 1 years old! We drove from winnipeg to St. Paul so they could go and made a family trip out of it. He fully knew going into the show that they may have to leave early, he wouldn't be able to drink, and had to accept this show would be a different experience than other times he has seen them. Our son LOVED his first concert and now shares a love and appreciation for live music, just like his mommy and daddy. He rocked out and air drummed the entire night and came home with a t shirt that might fit him in 4 years... and a priceless memory of seeing his favorite band with his daddy.  Music is important in our family and our kids appreciate and love music as much as we do! 
    Sounds fantastic!  Although, according to many in this thread, you are only doing this to: look cool, become best friends with your kid and avoid parenting, GET A TAMBOURINE (although I fully admit there are those who use kids for this and it's ridiculous), and you're raising your kids with no boundaries or real discipline.  And no doubt at this show he was exposed to live sex, rampant drug use, outrageous and consistent cursing, and a bunch of other stuff that happens in R-rated movies.    ;)

    But you know what must be said to those naysayers?  "RUN TO THE HILLS!!!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"   =)  =)  =)

    Your kid has developed a love of music, enjoys this specific band in particular, and sounds like he had an air-drummingly amazing time at this show - OH, the HORROR... Not!  Even if the details of his first show blur as he gets older, he experienced JOY and it was all shared with your husband.  Even joy that babies experience and that they'll likely never remember still goes a long way towards positive brain development and positive strong emotional development.  Joy experienced by 6 yr olds (or any yr olds) doing something positive with a parent is no different.  

    Most of the kids I see at shows look either joyful or ambivalent.  I'm not speaking of parents who take their kids against their kids' will and their kids seem truly miserable the whole time - I think that sucks and should really not happen.  But kids who are fine, and especially kids who love it, this can be a great and developmentally positive experience.

    Glad your son and husband had a great time!  We took our young kid to Rodrigo Y Gabriela a few weeks ago, she was transfixed, rocked out, and has been asking for a guitar ever since (and playing her ukelele that much more passionately).  And by the way, if you put on "Run To The Hills" in our household, she'd drop whatever she was doing and start running around, air-guitaring like a madman and singing all the words.  Where's the devil-horns emoji here??  =)
    Post edited by JH6056 on
  • DeLukin
    DeLukin Posts: 2,757
    edited July 2017
    what dreams said:
    I like to socialize with my peers at concerts. Five year olds are not my peers. I don't understand people who think they are. I hope I'm never seated next to a five year old. I won't think it's cute, and I sure as hell won't refrain from lighting a joint right next to that child. I believe I read a post in this thread with a parent saying she/he calls security on the pot smokers? Holy Batmobile. Please tell me I misunderstood that.
    Exactly. It doesn't make you a bad parent to say no. I've taken my kids to age-appropriate shows (Jonas Bros, ugh) which were relatively kid friendly experiences. When it comes to PJ shows the answer is 'not until you're older.'
    Post edited by DeLukin on
    I smile, but who am I kidding...
  • rgambs
    rgambs Posts: 13,576
    what dreams said:
    I like to socialize with my peers at concerts. Five year olds are not my peers. I don't understand people who think they are. I hope I'm never seated next to a five year old. I won't think it's cute, and I sure as hell won't refrain from lighting a joint right next to that child. I believe I read a post in this thread with a parent saying she/he calls security on the pot smokers? Holy Batmobile. Please tell me I misunderstood that.

    You don't have kids do you?
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • rgambs
    rgambs Posts: 13,576
    If you are next to my son at a concert I guarantee you will think it's cute, cuz he's fucking adorable lol
    You can spark a J next to him, I don't care, the big bad marijuana isn't going to hurt him.
    I would probably switch places with him, but mostly so I could give you a hangdog look until you passed it my way!

    Calling security on someone for smoking is beyond ridiculous.  Total dick move, try minding your own business.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • on2legs
    on2legs Posts: 16,015
    what dreams said:
    I like to socialize with my peers at concerts. Five year olds are not my peers. I don't understand people who think they are. I hope I'm never seated next to a five year old. I won't think it's cute, and I sure as hell won't refrain from lighting a joint right next to that child. I believe I read a post in this thread with a parent saying she/he calls security on the pot smokers? Holy Batmobile. Please tell me I misunderstood that.
    Well... whether you like it or not the 5 year old has just as much right to attend the show as you do.  

    Man... its shame the world is being deprived of all these would be great parents who don't have kids :smiley:
    1996: Randall's Island 2  1998: East Rutherford | MSG 1 & 2  2000: Cincinnati | Columbus | Jones Beach 1, 2, & 3 | Boston 1 | Camden 1 & 2 2003: Philadelphia | Uniondale | MSG 1 & 2 | Holmdel  2005: Atlantic City 1  2006: Camden 1 | East Rutherford 1 & 2 2008: Camden 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 (#25) | Newark (EV)  2009: Philadelphia 1, 2 & 4  2010: Newark | MSG 1 & 2  2011: Toronto 1  2013: Wrigley Field | Brooklyn 2 | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2015: Central Park  2016: Philadelphia 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Fenway Park 2 | MSG (TOTD)  2017: Brooklyn (RnR HOF)  2020: MSG | Asbury Park  2021: Asbury Park  2022: MSG | Camden | Nashville  2024: MSG 1 & 2 (#50) | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore  2025: Raleigh


  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    on2legs said:
    what dreams said:
    I like to socialize with my peers at concerts. Five year olds are not my peers. I don't understand people who think they are. I hope I'm never seated next to a five year old. I won't think it's cute, and I sure as hell won't refrain from lighting a joint right next to that child. I believe I read a post in this thread with a parent saying she/he calls security on the pot smokers? Holy Batmobile. Please tell me I misunderstood that.
    Well... whether you like it or not the 5 year old has just as much right to attend the show as you do.  

    Man... its shame the world is being deprived of all these would be great parents who don't have kids :smiley:
    That is true . . . Anybody who pays the fair price for the ticket has the right to be there. Seems like a perfect waste of a ticket to me. Congrats to the fans who have enough discretionary income to afford that seat for a 5 year old.

    Also true, I don't have children of my own. I just deal with other people's children, 130 of them, all day long in my job. After 5:00 pm, I don't want to have anything to do with kids, much less making nice with one at a rock concert that I'm totally stoked about. It would take a total mental adjustment to see a child in the seat next to me when I've come to the concert to escape that shit, to be around grown ups.

    Whatever. The parents in the group know it's not about me, so I know my preferences make no difference. Just be aware I'm not making any judgments about parenting styles or the environmental impact on the kid. I'm just saying I don't want to be next to one, and yes, it would be on me if it ruined my night, so I'm just going to hope it never happens.

    The person who joked about 10C ticket options might be  on to something.  There should be an Adults Only section. I'd pay extra for the guarantee 
  • pjhawks
    pjhawks Posts: 12,955
    JH6056 said:
    brianlux said:
    pjhawks said:
    brianlux said:
    When I was a little kid my parents like to do adult things with their adult friends and us kids stayed home with the baby sitter.  I had no problem with that and I had no interest in doing adult things with my adult parents.  So why is the current parenting generation so hung up about wanting their children to participate in adult activities?  Are they themselves having a hard time being adults?  Is it because they want to show off their kids to everyone around them?  Do they want to turn their children into miniature adults? Honestly, I don't get it. (And yes, though not a biological father, I have had parenting experience.)

    yes unfortunately some (not all) parents today treat their kids as accessories. they want to do things so they get a lot of likes on facebook and instragram. it's as much or more about the parents than the kids.  also parents today rather be the "cool' parent instead of the discipline parent.  again not all parents are this way but if you take a 5 year old to a concert...
    Couldn't agree more and working with the public, I see that a lot.  The irony though is that kids are better off and happier in the long-run when given boundaries and reasonable discipline and by bringing them up that way, when they get older, they're actually more likely to be cool with their parents anyway.
    Wow, as someone who works with dysfucntional families and on child development as a profession, I gotta say to both of you Brianlux and pjhawks: you are jumping to a wild number of conclusions about the links between parents saying they want to bring young kids to a concert, their parental motivations, and the lifetime outcomes for those kids.  To assume that parents who want to share a show with their kids (including some kids who begged their parent per above) are therefore being raised with no boundaries or reasonable discipline?  Brianlux I admire your concert resume forever but seriously?  You know more about this and are more qualified to judge that than pediatricians who've been asked about this or other folks who've successfully raised multiple kids into thriving adults?  That is really presumptuous of you and - more importantly - factually and scientifically ridiculous. 

    I deal every working day with: parents who either want to be out partying themselves and don't really want to parent at all; parents who want to be friends with their kids more than parents; and the group who feel bad about holding boundaries and disciplining their kids, think they're being "Too harsh".  And I see and have to help others see the often damaging impacts of those situations.  And then help parents understand how setting and holding more boundaries now will make their parenting lives better now and in the future, and be way better for their kids, and help them with how to do it (there are even multiple reasons that different parents struggle with holding boundaries, so helping them learn how to set them has to be differentiated too).  

    There are miles of space and other factors between a parental decision on whether you take your kids to certain events or not, how you're raising your kids overall, and what your kids life outcomes will be.  You're entitled to your opinion, but wow... folks with no kids telling other people if you take young kids to a show your kids don't have boundaries or reasonable discipline?  Now I've heard everything on this board!
    i'm not in politics but i can form a reasonable opinion on what a crappy politician is
    i'm not a musician but i can form a reasonable opinion on what bad music is
    i'm not a designer but i can form a reasonable opinion on what shitty fashion is (ok maybe this one isn't always true)
    i'm not a brewer but i can form a reasonable opinion on what lousy beer is
    but since i'm not a parent i can't form an opinion on parenting....got it (insert eye roll emoji here)
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