How old is too young?

rgambs

There are some seriously judgemental and assholey comments in this thread, and they all come from holier than thou folks on the "no" side.

Oh no, my kid heard the F-word!
What am I gonna do?? I'm a terrible parent!!!

LOL some of you folks need to get a grip!

HughFreakingDillon

rgambs said:

There are some seriously judgemental and assholey comments in this thread, and they all come from holier than thou folks on the "no" side.

Oh no, my kid heard the F-word!
What am I gonna do?? I'm a terrible parent!!!

LOL some of you folks need to get a grip!

no kidding. bubble wrapping at its finest. 

rgambs

HughFreakingDillon said:

rgambs said:

There are some seriously judgemental and assholey comments in this thread, and they all come from holier than thou folks on the "no" side.

Oh no, my kid heard the F-word!
What am I gonna do?? I'm a terrible parent!!!

LOL some of you folks need to get a grip!

no kidding. bubble wrapping at its finest. 

And I'd bet they are the same folks who say things like "pussification" and "participation trophy".

my2hands

I have no problem at all if you want to take your 12 year old to a show... I really don't care what anybody does to be honest... just don't be an asshole...

I'm talking about people taking/dragging their young children to indoor arena rock concerts... which I saw a lot of on the LB tour, and most of my personal observations/experiences weren't very positive... i'm just not a fan, no big deal... isn't that what One Direction and Disney on Ice is for? lol

I remember going to the circus when I was 5... my first concert I was 18... I survived

mcgruff10

rgambs said:

There are some seriously judgemental and assholey comments in this thread, and they all come from holier than thou folks on the "no" side.

Oh no, my kid heard the F-word!
What am I gonna do?? I'm a terrible parent!!!

LOL some of you folks need to get a grip!

My wife is 100% italian so I'm betting between the two of us our kids here the f word close to 30 times a day.  In fact I was just reading a news article and said to my wife: "that's fucking crazy".  Of course my 3 1/2 year old has now been saying it none stop for an hour.  

pjhawks

JH6056 said:

pjhawks said:

PJNB said:

pjhawks said:

JH6056 said:

Well OP, you've heard a lot of perspectives.  What do you think?

Me, I'm glad people have their opinions.  And.... having done my own due diligence and checked in with doctors and knowing what my kid does and doesn't like and what environments she's fine in and which she's not fine in... no amount of generalizing or "It ruins it for those around you" (Seriously? A kid having a good time ruins your night?  Guess what, that's on you!)  is going to stop me from doing something that means a lot to me, that my kid enjoys, that isn't harming her in any way, and which if she doesn't want to go she doesn't go.

I'm curious for the parents here who have taken kids to PJ shows or other rock concerts, do you let your younger kids watch R-rated movies?  I would think that most wouldn't even consider letting a 5-10 year old watch an R-rated movie.  there isn't a whole heck of a difference (maybe some r-rated movies have more sexual themes and nudity but that's about it)  between an r-rated movie and a rock show.  

Ya Pearl Jam concerts and Saving Private Ryan have a lot in common. 

yes pick one of the most violent movies to make your point. there are plenty of r-rated movies that are similar to a PJ show with cursing, drunk and high people.  Just trying to get where the line is. So it's ok to take them to a show where Ed says fuck 20 times and the guy next to you is drunk but you wouldn't let them watch "TED" or "Office Space"?  makes sense.

You don't have to like it pjhawks, but as someone who's seen more than 50 PJ shows (not including Ed solo or side projects), my actual real life experience of PJ shows overwhelmingly trumps your vague comparisons to R movies.  In some 56 PJ shows, I have never: 1) been trapped in my seat next to someone screaming obscenities for the whole show; or 2) heard Ed say "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck this fucking song fuck fuck fuck" (yes, he curses, but not some extraordinary amount that is going to corrupt small children).  I have certainly seen/been bothered by drunk people, but not more than maybe 3 times to the point where I had to get security involved, and I did, and they didn't bother me anymore.  But guess what?  We also live in major city.  Guess what?  Kids where I live see drunk and high people on the subways, on the streets, at bus stops.... If you think a PJ concert is the 1st time I'll have to explain drunk or high people to my kids, you're absurdly out in La La Land.  People who can't control their behavior or are under the influence are a reality of life, and more so in cities.  A concert is probably the place where you can do the most about it the quickest if they're bothering you, since there is security and you're a paying customer.

So now my question to you pjhawks is this: If I searched (which I'm not going to do) through the threads on sports events here, are you equally outspoken about the inappropriateness of taking kids to those?  If not, why the - it's not even a double standard, it's actually hypocritical, because sports events have far FAR more cursing, drunk people way out of control, and actual violence (again going on what I've actually seen at games and in parking lots).  Are you equally outspoken here about that?  If not, why not?

I think it depends on the sport but for the most part you shouldn't be taking 5 year olds to games.  5-10 year olds should not be attending NFL games period.  the behavior at those games is far worse than at rock concerts. you're an idiot if you take a 5-10 year old to an NFL game.  Hockey can be tough. Being in Philly there is still a portion of Flyers fans who want the Broad Street Bullies to come back so their behavior can be iffy at games.  I wouldn't take a 5 year old to a hockey game but 9-10 might be ok but that might depend on the where the tickets are.  I've been to hundreds of baseball games and probably over 500 college basketball games and i've never encountered cursing, out of control drunk people and violence at those games approaching what goes on at concert although 5 is still a bit young in my opinion.  If a kid is too young to understand what is going on in the game i'd say probably not a good idea to drag them along for your photo op.

pjhawks

rgambs said:

There are some seriously judgemental and assholey comments in this thread, and they all come from holier than thou folks on the "no" side.

Oh no, my kid heard the F-word!
What am I gonna do?? I'm a terrible parent!!!

LOL some of you folks need to get a grip!

so you have zero filter for your children or do you have a line? if cursing is ok do you let a 5-9 year old watch tv shows and movies with cursing?  how about network TV shows like Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, and Two Broke Girls that don't curse but have a lot of innuendo and adult themes.  where do you draw the line?  I am naturally curious and not trying to be a di--
 

rgambs

pjhawks said:

rgambs said:

There are some seriously judgemental and assholey comments in this thread, and they all come from holier than thou folks on the "no" side.

Oh no, my kid heard the F-word!
What am I gonna do?? I'm a terrible parent!!!

LOL some of you folks need to get a grip!

so you have zero filter for your children or do you have a line? if cursing is ok do you let a 5-9 year old watch tv shows and movies with cursing?  how about network TV shows like Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, and Two Broke Girls that don't curse but have a lot of innuendo and adult themes.  where do you draw the line?  I am naturally curious and not trying to be a di--
 

I don't have a problem with cursing.
I just don't see it as a big deal, at all.
Innuendo goes over a kids head anyways.
I wouldn't let my son watch Big Bang Theory, but that's just because it is total crap lol

In my experience, there was more cursing on the grade school playground than an average PJ show, so why fret about it?
Drunk idiots?  They just become a lesson in bad choices vs. good choices and they tend to give kids a negative view of alcohol, and that's a good thing.

HughFreakingDillon

pjhawks said:

rgambs said:

There are some seriously judgemental and assholey comments in this thread, and they all come from holier than thou folks on the "no" side.

Oh no, my kid heard the F-word!
What am I gonna do?? I'm a terrible parent!!!

LOL some of you folks need to get a grip!

so you have zero filter for your children or do you have a line? if cursing is ok do you let a 5-9 year old watch tv shows and movies with cursing?  how about network TV shows like Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, and Two Broke Girls that don't curse but have a lot of innuendo and adult themes.  where do you draw the line?  I am naturally curious and not trying to be a di--
 

there's a big difference between music and tv. music is universal. you don't have to "get it". tv shows with innuendo wouldn't be interesting to a kid that age anyway, so obviously the answer is no. even if they did get it, obviously the answer would still be no. I don't even like them watching a show, can't recall the name, but the main character is a girl named Sam, and all she does is lie and cheat her way through life. 

being a parent is all about assessing risk vs reward. to me, going to a show like weezer or pj is low risk, high reward. of course, then the first song weezer played was Hash Pipe, and someone a few rows over obviously had their own, but whatever. she doesn't know what that smell is, all she knows is she dug the music. 

would I take her to metallica where every second word is "motherfucker" and you are nearly guaranteed to get beer spilled on you? no. are there people that do these things, as has been mentioned, without regard for their kids? of course there are. but that doesn't mean we're all doing it for that reason, or that we haven't researched or thought it out hard enough before we made the decision. 

if my wife was on board with my daughter going to a rock show, then I know I was on the right track. 

rgambs

Weed smoke?

I just don't care.  I don't see what the big deal is??
It's not going to intoxicate him so what's the problem?
Nobody gives a shit about car exhaust which is worse for your body and a regularly inhaled pollutant.
Am I not allowed to have a campfire and make smores too, or is that ok for some nonsensical reason?

DeLukin

mcgruff10 said:

Tim Simmons said:

It's weird that it's taken 6 pages to conclude "use your best judgement and do what's best for the kid" is the best answer. 

lol true.  and if your kid is melting and wants to go...you leave.  don't be selfish

... or don't be selfish and take them in the first place.

rgambs

DeLukin said:

mcgruff10 said:

Tim Simmons said:

It's weird that it's taken 6 pages to conclude "use your best judgement and do what's best for the kid" is the best answer. 

lol true.  and if your kid is melting and wants to go...you leave.  don't be selfish

... or don't be selfish and take them in the first place.

I think the real mystery of this thread is who pissed in your Cheerios brosef.
Lighten up a bit.

HughFreakingDillon

DeLukin said:

mcgruff10 said:

Tim Simmons said:

It's weird that it's taken 6 pages to conclude "use your best judgement and do what's best for the kid" is the best answer. 

lol true.  and if your kid is melting and wants to go...you leave.  don't be selfish

... or don't be selfish and take them in the first place.

how do you know that kid didn't beg to be there in the first place, and the parent took them because of that?

lbpeltz

Took the 8 year old to the rrhof. That was too late and not the right setting. I'd have no problem putting OVER THE EAR protection on and taking her to a real show. Took her to DMB at age 6. It was all good. Just be prepared to be mobile. When you're at a show with your kid, if it's overwhelming or sketchy, you get the fuck out of there. 15 songs, hour and a half and then reassess, don't be an ass. 

JH6056

lbpeltz said:

Took the 8 year old to the rrhof. That was too late and not the right setting. I'd have no problem putting OVER THE EAR protection on and taking her to a real show. Took her to DMB at age 6. It was all good. Just be prepared to be mobile. When you're at a show with your kid, if it's overwhelming or sketchy, you get the fuck out of there. 15 songs, hour and a half and then reassess, don't be an ass. 

Yup, I'm deeply in the "Go for it if you know your kid and have ear protection" camp, but I've been to a HOF-type event and that is a looong event, even for the adults.  Famous people have nannies in the wings ready to take the kids and get them out of there if/when they start getting cranky.  Us civilians usually either have to try to get kids to calm down/be ok, or leave completely.  I wouldn't bring a kid to something as long as a HOF event unless I either had free tickets or somewhere we could watch from where she could comfortably lay down and sleep when she got tired, which I doubt exists in the regular seats of the Barclay Center.

JH6056

pjhawks said:

JH6056 said:

pjhawks said:

PJNB said:

pjhawks said:

JH6056 said:

Well OP, you've heard a lot of perspectives.  What do you think?

Me, I'm glad people have their opinions.  And.... having done my own due diligence and checked in with doctors and knowing what my kid does and doesn't like and what environments she's fine in and which she's not fine in... no amount of generalizing or "It ruins it for those around you" (Seriously? A kid having a good time ruins your night?  Guess what, that's on you!)  is going to stop me from doing something that means a lot to me, that my kid enjoys, that isn't harming her in any way, and which if she doesn't want to go she doesn't go.

I'm curious for the parents here who have taken kids to PJ shows or other rock concerts, do you let your younger kids watch R-rated movies?  I would think that most wouldn't even consider letting a 5-10 year old watch an R-rated movie.  there isn't a whole heck of a difference (maybe some r-rated movies have more sexual themes and nudity but that's about it)  between an r-rated movie and a rock show.  

Ya Pearl Jam concerts and Saving Private Ryan have a lot in common. 

yes pick one of the most violent movies to make your point. there are plenty of r-rated movies that are similar to a PJ show with cursing, drunk and high people.  Just trying to get where the line is. So it's ok to take them to a show where Ed says fuck 20 times and the guy next to you is drunk but you wouldn't let them watch "TED" or "Office Space"?  makes sense.

You don't have to like it pjhawks, but as someone who's seen more than 50 PJ shows (not including Ed solo or side projects), my actual real life experience of PJ shows overwhelmingly trumps your vague comparisons to R movies.  In some 56 PJ shows, I have never: 1) been trapped in my seat next to someone screaming obscenities for the whole show; or 2) heard Ed say "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck this fucking song fuck fuck fuck" (yes, he curses, but not some extraordinary amount that is going to corrupt small children).  I have certainly seen/been bothered by drunk people, but not more than maybe 3 times to the point where I had to get security involved, and I did, and they didn't bother me anymore.  But guess what?  We also live in major city.  Guess what?  Kids where I live see drunk and high people on the subways, on the streets, at bus stops.... If you think a PJ concert is the 1st time I'll have to explain drunk or high people to my kids, you're absurdly out in La La Land.  People who can't control their behavior or are under the influence are a reality of life, and more so in cities.  A concert is probably the place where you can do the most about it the quickest if they're bothering you, since there is security and you're a paying customer.

So now my question to you pjhawks is this: If I searched (which I'm not going to do) through the threads on sports events here, are you equally outspoken about the inappropriateness of taking kids to those?  If not, why the - it's not even a double standard, it's actually hypocritical, because sports events have far FAR more cursing, drunk people way out of control, and actual violence (again going on what I've actually seen at games and in parking lots).  Are you equally outspoken here about that?  If not, why not?

I think it depends on the sport but for the most part you shouldn't be taking 5 year olds to games.  5-10 year olds should not be attending NFL games period.  the behavior at those games is far worse than at rock concerts. you're an idiot if you take a 5-10 year old to an NFL game.  Hockey can be tough. Being in Philly there is still a portion of Flyers fans who want the Broad Street Bullies to come back so their behavior can be iffy at games.  I wouldn't take a 5 year old to a hockey game but 9-10 might be ok but that might depend on the where the tickets are.  I've been to hundreds of baseball games and probably over 500 college basketball games and i've never encountered cursing, out of control drunk people and violence at those games approaching what goes on at concert although 5 is still a bit young in my opinion.  If a kid is too young to understand what is going on in the game i'd say probably not a good idea to drag them along for your photo op.

You've never heard cursing at a baseball game??  What city are you seeing baseball games in??  I heard/hear cursing all the time at games in Boston, Atlanta, and DC.

Anyway, you still don't sound like you'd bother asking someone who wants to take a young kid to a sports event "Well, would you let them watch an R-rated movie??"  These sports events have more of everything you raise in relation to a concert, yet you just sound way less concerned about sports.  I just find that interesting, and still don't get why but don't need to get it.

That last line that I bolded, because you also have this whole negative sense that people are doing this for photo ops or other totally self-serving reasons.  Yet there are so many posts here about the actual good time that people's kids had and them wanting to share good times with their kids.  I don't understand the people who are attached to the cynical idea that it's only for bad reasons.

But so it goes, and I hope OP feels good whatever they choose to do.

brianlux

When I was a little kid my parents like to do adult things with their adult friends and us kids stayed home with the baby sitter.  I had no problem with that and I had no interest in doing adult things with my adult parents.  So why is the current parenting generation so hung up about wanting their children to participate in adult activities?  Are they themselves having a hard time being adults?  Is it because they want to show off their kids to everyone around them?  Do they want to turn their children into miniature adults? Honestly, I don't get it. (And yes, though not a biological father, I have had parenting experience.)

shecky

Merkin Baller

brianlux said:

When I was a little kid my parents like to do adult things with their adult friends and us kids stayed home with the baby sitter.  I had no problem with that and I had no interest in doing adult things with my adult parents.  So why is the current parenting generation so hung up about wanting their children to participate in adult activities?  Are they themselves having a hard time being adults?  Is it because they want to show off their kids to everyone around them?  Do they want to turn their children into miniature adults? Honestly, I don't get it. (And yes, though not a biological father, I have had parenting experience.)

I'm with you, I don't get it either. 

I understand the notion of wanting to share as much with your child as possible, but I would hope in most cases there would be plenty of time for things like concerts down the road. (Like the teenage years) Why anyone would want the responsibility of watching out for a young child at a PJ Concert is beyond me, but hey, to each his own. I mentioned earlier, I'm sure there are some kids younger than 12 who would be fine at the show, but I still wouldn't want that responsibility. I guess I'm just selfish, I like to go watch the show & lose myself in the moment / experience. That would be impossible if I had a 5 year old with me. 

RE: the sporting event comparison - I agree there's an equal amount of swearing & drinking going on, but at the same time, those events are more structured & you know what to expect. Baseball games = 9 innings, hockey & football have finite time limits, intermissions, halftimes etc. Plus there are actually things there designed to cater to kids (mascots, kid zones ETC). I don't think there's really much comparison between the two beyond the bad language & excessive drinking.(which was maybe the whole point of the comparison to begin with.) 

aidt17

The worst swearing I've heard out of the 14 shows I've gone to see came from coaching my 5 year old girls t ball team from another 5 year old "I brought my mother fucking red Gatorade, this is my mother fucking red Gatorade"  ball rolls between same kids legs in the infield, "MOTHER FUCKING GOD!!! MOTHER FUCKING GOD!! MOTHER FUCKING GOD!!"  and we live in Canada! hahahha no where is safe from cursing!!!!  I've never heard that many sequential F bombs at a PJ show, maybe its safer there....do the stuff with your kids they want you to do, my 5 year old daughter knows I love PJ and she tolerates listening to it sometimes because it makes me happy, its not her thing, and when she wants to hear taylor swift or Ruth B we throw it on because its her thing and makes her happy..im not going to ask her to come to a pj show, if she asked me I would lay it out for her and we would try, but for me its gotta be her call, not mine..we took her to raffi and she loved it, shes recently asked us to take her to the CBC music fest in Toronto so next year we will try.  I guess the point is as her parents we enjoy our stuff and she enjoys hers, we're not gonna force her to love pearl jam, although she is coming into it in her own right but when I go to a show she is happy enough to get a sticker and slap it on her dresser, everyones happy...kids at a show, don't bother me at all, total parents discretion.