I'm done

PJSiren
PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
edited March 2016 in All Encompassing Trip
Screw it...whatever....I don't care...apparently its not ok to come on here and ask for help or support...thanks PJfan....whatever...you win asshole....hope I get banned for this!
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
Tattooed Dissident!
Post edited by PJSiren on
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Comments

  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    Wow, this sounds totally messed up. I'm sorry your daughter is hurting inside. Nobody at her age acts out like this unless there are far more serious underlying issues. You need to get her to a counselor. It's beyond any advice we can give you.

    Your gut about the drugs is spot on. As soon as you said she stole 40 dollars, that's where my mind went.

    The cutting needs to be dealt with by a health professional. I have worked with students who cut, and I'm telling you, if that gets out of control, it's almost impossible to cure.

    I'm also concerned about the relationship with your husband. It sounds abusive, sorry, but the way you've described it doesn't sound good.

    And I'm afraid of what you don't know. Has she been sexually abused? This story screams it.

    I truly wish your family well. You need support. It's already out of your control, and she's only 14. Serious intervention needed, even if it takes committing her somewhere. I know a handful of kids who really thrived after residential treatment. But it's a long road ahead. Don't give up on her. Recognize she is screaming out for help, and you have to make the hard calls for her.
  • mca47
    mca47 Posts: 13,337
    Holy crap! I wish I could offer some advice but I don't have much. Sounds like she's acting out for a reason that she may or may not be aware of. Perhaps you should all go talk to someone, a family therapist/psychologist or something.
  • OMGkatwoman
    OMGkatwoman Posts: 3,230
    ^^^^ My thoughts exactly, find a good therapist for her,one that specifically deals with teens (this information should be accessible on their profile page using google search, ask questions and make sure it's a good fit for her,. Best of luck to you all and sending positives and pray all goes well for your family.
  • PJfanwillneverleave1
    PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    Seek help from a real live in the flesh professional.
    Thoughts and prayers will do nothing.
  • mca47
    mca47 Posts: 13,337
    Is it too late, or is she too old to put up for adoption?




    I kid! ;)
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    She's never been sexually abused...that we know of...unless it happened before she came to live with my husband...
    He's not abusive...he's never done anything like that before....but with her attitude and the way she's been behaving lately and the way she's been talking to both of us...she's been swearing at us and everything that moment set him off.
    We are going to get her into counseling, we're all three going to seek counseling to try to work this out....
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • Wma31394
    Wma31394 Posts: 3,045
    Go get perfessional help..requesting pearl jam message boards prayers and good vibes won't help..
    "Going where the water tastes like wine!"
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Seek help from a real live in the flesh professional.
    Thoughts and prayers will do nothing.

    Thoughts and prayers do all kinds of miracles every day...clearly you don't believe in God...so you can take your negative self away from me. I don't need your input.
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • PJfanwillneverleave1
    PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    PJSiren said:

    She's never been sexually abused...that we know of...unless it happened before she came to live with my husband...
    He's not abusive...he's never done anything like that before....but with her attitude and the way she's been behaving lately and the way she's been talking to both of us...she's been swearing at us and everything that moment set him off.
    We are going to get her into counseling, we're all three going to seek counseling to try to work this out....

    You just answered with what we are telling you.
    There is nothing else to do but get help and follow the advice from said help.
  • PJSiren
    PJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    Is there a reason you're such an ass to people? Really? I'm going though something here...and you're just being a total jerk...go away and leave me alone.
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • PJfanwillneverleave1
    PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.
  • OMGkatwoman
    OMGkatwoman Posts: 3,230
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    PJSiren said:

    She's never been sexually abused...that we know of...unless it happened before she came to live with my husband...
    He's not abusive...he's never done anything like that before....but with her attitude and the way she's been behaving lately and the way she's been talking to both of us...she's been swearing at us and everything that moment set him off.
    We are going to get her into counseling, we're all three going to seek counseling to try to work this out....

    You just answered with what we are telling you.
    There is nothing else to do but get help and follow the advice from said help.
    This is a frightening thing for parents to go through,asking for support from us and those that you trust should be seen as a positive effort in support of her daughter.
  • what dreams
    what dreams Posts: 1,761
    PJSiren said:

    She's never been sexually abused...that we know of...unless it happened before she came to live with my husband...
    He's not abusive...he's never done anything like that before....but with her attitude and the way she's been behaving lately and the way she's been talking to both of us...she's been swearing at us and everything that moment set him off.
    We are going to get her into counseling, we're all three going to seek counseling to try to work this out....

    Just be prepared for her to resist counseling. Don't give her the option. It may take her time to open up. Stick with it even if she fights you every step of the way.

    I do pray for you, and I do believe miracles happen. This miracle will be a work in progress for a long time to come, but there is always hope!!!!
  • RKCNDY
    RKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • FoxyRedLa
    FoxyRedLa Lauren / MI Posts: 4,810
    :disappointed: PJSiren. :hug: - I'm so sorry! I'm trying to remember what we talked about last time. About her dad. Anyway. I agree with some of the above. It might - I don't want to say be too late cuz that's not really what I mean - but like she might catch on. But. Does she have any interests? Any? I would fill up her schedule so fast! She would have some sort of activity to go to every day. If she's not into sports - any volunteer work with people kids animals farms old people haha I'd be finding something anything and every day. Swimming. I know it seems silly but. If she can open up enough and find something she likes it could be enough to distract her enough to be too busy to do anything else. Nothing that earns money tho because of the other stuff in question.

    I don't really know about "committing" her. What do you think? Has it gotten to that point? Would she even cooperate? Would they just make her a zombie?

    I don't think the relationship with your husband is abusive. You needed to get her attention. But gosh what do you do? You have options but which?

    What are you thinking now? Are you ok? Do you think she'll change?

    I could keep going but I don't know. Lol I can't even form compete sentences. My heart races for you.
    Oh please let it rain today.
    Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
  • PJfanwillneverleave1
    PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    what dreams said:

    Wow, this sounds totally messed up. I'm sorry your daughter is hurting inside. Nobody at her age acts out like this unless there are far more serious underlying issues. You need to get her to a counselor. It's beyond any advice we can give you.

    Your gut about the drugs is spot on. As soon as you said she stole 40 dollars, that's where my mind went.

    The cutting needs to be dealt with by a health professional. I have worked with students who cut, and I'm telling you, if that gets out of control, it's almost impossible to cure.

    I'm also concerned about the relationship with your husband. It sounds abusive, sorry, but the way you've described it doesn't sound good.

    And I'm afraid of what you don't know. Has she been sexually abused? This story screams it.

    I truly wish your family well. You need support. It's already out of your control, and she's only 14. Serious intervention needed, even if it takes committing her somewhere. I know a handful of kids who really thrived after residential treatment. But it's a long road ahead. Don't give up on her. Recognize she is screaming out for help, and you have to make the hard calls for her.

    This is an awesome post. Sage advice given (compassionate, too).

    PJS, keeping good thoughts for your family.
  • OMGkatwoman
    OMGkatwoman Posts: 3,230
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
  • PJfanwillneverleave1
    PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
    No.
    If you have information that someone has done self harm or in custody of a person who does these things you have a moral obligation to immediately seek professional help.
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    She also asked for advice from others who may have gone through this or something similar.

    Jesus christ, of all the threads to shit upon, THIS is the chosen one?

    Comes a time to realize when you should back off with a modicum of grace. That time might be now.

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