A letter to Vedder
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CBintothewild
Posts: 8
Ok - editing this post as I realize it is unlikely to obtain a direct avenue to reach Eddie himself...I was hesitant to post this, but I at the same time I am sure others on the forum can relate.
Eddie fucking Vedder,
While I have severe doubts that this will ever reach you, and I am clueless as to which avenue to use that would give it the best chance of reaching you - I feel compelled to at least make an attempt.
First a quick background - I grew up middle class, normal life. No need to go in depth, good family, friends, decent grades in school, baseball practice after school etc. Never in my life had I touched any drugs or even drank alcohol for that matter. Turn the page to when I was 21. I was involved in a near fatal motorcycle accident that would change my life for better and for worse. After the surgeries, and the release from the hospital after nearly a month of being laid up I was about to embark on a journey that still affects me to this day. It wasn't the physical therapy or the recovery process - it was the pain killers.
For nearly two years, I had what was essentially an umlimited supply of narcotic pain pills. As someone that had never been around drugs, or exposed to addiction for that matter, I was clueless as to the ramifications these damn pills would have on me. It was prescribed by the Dr. I had valid reasons to be taking large doses day after day, so it must have been ok, right? I thought so anyways...
And then, it happened...The prescriptions ceased to exist and I was lost. Absolutely terrifingly lost. The withdrawel alone was enough to make me wish I would just die. So many days I struggled, I struggled to go on, I struggled to maintain relationships with friends, with families. I struggled to hold a job. Life sucked, was an absolute black hole. I resorted to the black market of the streets, just to get a few pills here and there. Those days I could get pills, I felt better. But it was always temporary. A few hours of relief, followed by days of agony. The sleepless night, the sweats, the restless legs, the depression. I couldn't handle it.
I have always been the optimistic person, the person full of life, the one that would bring others up when they were down. But now, I was down, very very down and had no idea how to dig myself out. I couldn't talk to anybody about my issues, for fear of what they may think, what they may say, the stigma that would be protrayed upon me. I was better than this and I knew it.
A few things that have always brought peace to my soul - photography, traveling, and hiking/backpacking. For those few years, none of this was a part of my life...Then one day, I come across the book 'Into the Wild'. I read it cover to cover in one night. So much of the story spoke to me in a way I can't describe. I have always had very nomadic desires, desires to step away from society as we know it..Despite the material and personal items of day to day life, I have always felt a void, very similar to McCandless. Shortly after the book stumbled upon me, here comes the movie - I watched it over and over. Not only was the movie fantastic, there was something about the sound track. It would give me chills every single time.
Fast forward some years - I'm about to turn 31. I still struggle with the damn addiction from time to time, I have a 4 year old son that is undoubtedly the light of my life, so now it's time for dad to be strong for Alexander (Supertramp). What does dad turn to when he is feeling weak, depressed or down in the dumps? It's not pills, alcohol, or drugs - it's not a Dr's appt praying that I can act well enough for them to believe they should give me an RX for something.
It's Eddie Vedder. It's Pearl Jam. It's the Into the Wild soundtrack. I take every opportunity to hike and explore the wild as I can, and I never go without Eddie Vedder playing through my earphones. I have always always been a big Pearl Jam fan, but the Into the Wild soundtrack, unexpectedly saved my life and for that I am forever grateful and forever in debt to you.
At least once a month my wife will say to me "You're reading that AGAIN?"...You're watching that AGAIN?" or everytime she gets in my car "You're listening to that STILL?" She understands the connection it's had to me, but little does she understand just truly how much the music means to me. A sense of calm immediately comes over me once that magical intro of Guaranteed begins to play.
I understand you get lots of fan mail, and honestly I'm sure my story is not all that unique. Regardless, I thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
We are moving back to Seattle in less than two weeks, you can bet your ass I will be seeing you soon, hopefully at a small venue. You may not see me, but I will see you. I'll be the guy standing there with a peaceful smile of bliss on my face.
Thank you thank you thank you.
-Chris Browning
If by any slim chance this reaches you and would care to reply my email is
clbrowning@gmail.com
Eddie fucking Vedder,
While I have severe doubts that this will ever reach you, and I am clueless as to which avenue to use that would give it the best chance of reaching you - I feel compelled to at least make an attempt.
First a quick background - I grew up middle class, normal life. No need to go in depth, good family, friends, decent grades in school, baseball practice after school etc. Never in my life had I touched any drugs or even drank alcohol for that matter. Turn the page to when I was 21. I was involved in a near fatal motorcycle accident that would change my life for better and for worse. After the surgeries, and the release from the hospital after nearly a month of being laid up I was about to embark on a journey that still affects me to this day. It wasn't the physical therapy or the recovery process - it was the pain killers.
For nearly two years, I had what was essentially an umlimited supply of narcotic pain pills. As someone that had never been around drugs, or exposed to addiction for that matter, I was clueless as to the ramifications these damn pills would have on me. It was prescribed by the Dr. I had valid reasons to be taking large doses day after day, so it must have been ok, right? I thought so anyways...
And then, it happened...The prescriptions ceased to exist and I was lost. Absolutely terrifingly lost. The withdrawel alone was enough to make me wish I would just die. So many days I struggled, I struggled to go on, I struggled to maintain relationships with friends, with families. I struggled to hold a job. Life sucked, was an absolute black hole. I resorted to the black market of the streets, just to get a few pills here and there. Those days I could get pills, I felt better. But it was always temporary. A few hours of relief, followed by days of agony. The sleepless night, the sweats, the restless legs, the depression. I couldn't handle it.
I have always been the optimistic person, the person full of life, the one that would bring others up when they were down. But now, I was down, very very down and had no idea how to dig myself out. I couldn't talk to anybody about my issues, for fear of what they may think, what they may say, the stigma that would be protrayed upon me. I was better than this and I knew it.
A few things that have always brought peace to my soul - photography, traveling, and hiking/backpacking. For those few years, none of this was a part of my life...Then one day, I come across the book 'Into the Wild'. I read it cover to cover in one night. So much of the story spoke to me in a way I can't describe. I have always had very nomadic desires, desires to step away from society as we know it..Despite the material and personal items of day to day life, I have always felt a void, very similar to McCandless. Shortly after the book stumbled upon me, here comes the movie - I watched it over and over. Not only was the movie fantastic, there was something about the sound track. It would give me chills every single time.
Fast forward some years - I'm about to turn 31. I still struggle with the damn addiction from time to time, I have a 4 year old son that is undoubtedly the light of my life, so now it's time for dad to be strong for Alexander (Supertramp). What does dad turn to when he is feeling weak, depressed or down in the dumps? It's not pills, alcohol, or drugs - it's not a Dr's appt praying that I can act well enough for them to believe they should give me an RX for something.
It's Eddie Vedder. It's Pearl Jam. It's the Into the Wild soundtrack. I take every opportunity to hike and explore the wild as I can, and I never go without Eddie Vedder playing through my earphones. I have always always been a big Pearl Jam fan, but the Into the Wild soundtrack, unexpectedly saved my life and for that I am forever grateful and forever in debt to you.
At least once a month my wife will say to me "You're reading that AGAIN?"...You're watching that AGAIN?" or everytime she gets in my car "You're listening to that STILL?" She understands the connection it's had to me, but little does she understand just truly how much the music means to me. A sense of calm immediately comes over me once that magical intro of Guaranteed begins to play.
I understand you get lots of fan mail, and honestly I'm sure my story is not all that unique. Regardless, I thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
We are moving back to Seattle in less than two weeks, you can bet your ass I will be seeing you soon, hopefully at a small venue. You may not see me, but I will see you. I'll be the guy standing there with a peaceful smile of bliss on my face.
Thank you thank you thank you.
-Chris Browning
If by any slim chance this reaches you and would care to reply my email is
clbrowning@gmail.com
Post edited by CBintothewild on
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Not really sure where to start but good luck and I hope you get the chance!0
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after he was so awesome and spent the time to meet me and about 8 others after Milwaukee that waited for a few hours, I wrote a letter to the ten club directed to him just in case he could somehow see it so I could say thanks. i emailed the 10C about it and they say they have people read the letters first to make sure they aren't anything dangerous, scary, or anything bad like that, and then they put them in a big pile for the band to sift through when they visit. Not sure if that is true but if it is there's always a chance they'll get to see it, I know he was in SEA for the GB SEA championship game so I hope that possibly he got to read it then.
Gonna read yours now
found e-mail I got:Hello Ethan,
We're so glad that you could be there with us!!!
Please know that all mail is monitored by the Ten Club, for the protection of the band. However, many letters are reserved for the band to sift through when they come to visit the Ten Club.
We cannot guarantee that they will read your letter, but there is always a chance. So, we do not discourage you from writing.
Thanks for checking in with us!
If you'd like to mail in your letter, you may do so to the following address:Post edited by ehbacon on0 -
Great ending to that story. Glad you have been able to turn things around. I hope you get a response.
1996: Randall's Island 2 1998: East Rutherford | MSG 1 & 2 2000: Cincinnati | Columbus | Jones Beach 1, 2, & 3 | Boston 1 | Camden 1 & 2 2003: Philadelphia | Uniondale | MSG 1 & 2 | Holmdel 2005: Atlantic City 1 2006: Camden 1 | East Rutherford 1 & 2 2008: Camden 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 (#25) | Newark (EV) 2009: Philadelphia 1, 2 & 4 2010: Newark | MSG 1 & 2 2011: Toronto 1 2013: Wrigley Field | Brooklyn 2 | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore 2015: Central Park 2016: Philadelphia 1 & 2 | MSG 1 & 2 | Fenway Park 2 | MSG (TOTD) 2017: Brooklyn (RnR HOF) 2020: MSG | Asbury Park 2021: Asbury Park 2022: MSG | Camden | Nashville 2024: MSG 1 & 2 (#50) | Philadelphia 1 & 2 | Baltimore 2025: Raleigh0 -
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First off: Welcome, Chris!
Second: Thank you for sharing your story. There is a thread on AET for people in recovery. I encourage you to look at it and post there. There are plenty of people here to lend an ear and offer support. Best wishes for continued success on your sobriety. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me.ELITIST FUK0 -
Pearl Jam fucking rocks!I found my place......and it's alright0
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Stay strong.0
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thats was amazing..thanks for sharing..
be stronge..
hope u meet eddie soon..and i m sure admins here knows what to do with this post so eddie can read it"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”0 -
Music feeds the soul. You have found comfort in the music & that is a beautiful thing.
Be well & we'll see you in the PNW soon!
MattI LOVE MUSIC.
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com0 -
glad you found something that touches your soul and frees your mind
and like frank y59 says ''stay strong''0 -
Hey Chris,a lot of the top end PJ /ED fans relate to the music in some theroputic way through some sort of life experience.I personally know where you are coming from with where my life has been and through current circumstances beyond my control (drug use by family,people I love)
Their music has been a main artery of life to me for 20 yrs now and only becomes more vital on every listen
Thanks for your story,I have found in this world "a little is a lot " , the little this stranger by vision can offer you is ,keep up the good fight man and I hope that guy that fronts the greatest band on the planet gets to read your letter and I honestly believe that same guy will take in every word expressed in that read because Mr Vedder could strut his stuff and act the big rock star he is but NO ,he remains the most humble down to earth (as do the whole band) one of the people person we have grown to love,connect ,respect and admire
I have an amazing story that one day I will post when I had the opportunity to meet ED in Australia 2009 but now is not that time , I know first hand how genuine he is.Fingers crossed Chris you get a your wish for filled and maybe the best email reply you will receive in your life.
And it's great to read the response your post has received,some great people follow the path of this great music✌️
Good luck mate0 -
Opioid withdrawal is brutal - glad you made it. Welcome aboard!www.cluthelee.com0
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Thanks for sharing your story. Something very similar happened to someone very close to me. She is over 60 days sober now after coming off of opiods and the replacement garbage that doctors turn to as a solution. She didn't have enough education/information about what she was doing when beginning the replacement crap to know that it would not help with the eventual withdrawal ahead. She is now through the worst but far from finished with the fight. She also found solace in Pearl Jam and Eddie to help her through the worst of it. She was a casual fan before but is very die hard now. That is the magic of this band. You hear a song years ago and like it but years later, at a different stage in your life, that same song takes on a whole new meaning. Best of luck to you and your family.
"Not only do you have sunshine but you have better thunder...fuckers." -Ed, Phx 10/21/00
PJ * 10/21/00 - Phx * 6/7/03 - Phx * 6/29/06 - Milwaukee * 6/30/06 - Milwaukee * 11/19/13 - Phx *
EV * 11/4/12 - Phx, AZ *0 -
Hey bud, Thanks for sharing such personal stuff and welcome and good luck... As someone who is and always will be an addict, I can relate to your desire to show your appreciation to that which has helped you get through dark times. I only caution you to remember that the music and the stories themselves is what has helped you and not necessarily the man. The music will be able to always be there for you whether the man ever reads your message or not.
Again, good job sharing this stuff and Good Luck.. If you ever want to chat.. I'm a guy who has been down in the hole before and knows the way out.. I'm sober over 10 years now and my life is very different. I will always be an addict though.
Steve 954.298.5171Post edited by steved on1994 - Pensacola, Miami, Atlanta - 1995 - Milwaukee, Milwaukee, New Orleans (Tickets to Phoenix, Las Cruces, Austin, Shows Canceled) - 1996 - Randalls Island, Randalls Island, Charlotte, N.Charleston, Ft. Lauderdale - 1997 - Oakland -1998 - Alpine Valley, Alpine Valley, Chicago, West Palm Beach, West Palm Beach - 2000 - West Palm Beach, West Palm Beach, Phoenix, Las Vegas (10th Anniversary Show) - 2003 - West Palm Beach, Tampa, Atlanta, Nashville, Camden, Camden, MSG, MSG - 2004 - Kissimmee, Fl - 2006 - Irving Plaza, Albany, Hartford, Denver, Denver, Las Vegas - 2007 - Ed w/ Jack Irons & Flea in LA - 2008 - West Palm Beach, Tampa, Columbia, Camden, Camden, Washington D.C. - 2009 - L.A., San Diego, Philly Spectrum Night 3 & 4 - 2010 - New Orleans, Columbus, Indianapolis, Hartford, MSG, MSG - 2011 - Ed - Hartford, Providence, Boston - 2011 - Alpine Valley X2 (PJ20), Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver - 2012 - Ed - Ft. Lauderdale x2, - 2012 / 2014 Beautiful Daughter "Emily" born 11/07/12. On the bench for 3 years! She's really cute though! - 2015 - Mexico City - 2016 - Ft. Laud, Miami, Tampa, Jacksonville, Greenville, Raleigh, Columbia, Philly 1 & 2, Toronto 1 & 2, Fenway 1 & 2, Wrigley Night 1 & 2 - 2016 - MSG, San Francisco, San Francisco, Seattle, Seattle (TOTD) - 2018 - Seattle 1 & 2, Fenway 1 & 20 -
Thank you for your candor, Chris.
Bless music, and bless you.
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Thank you everyone for the great replies - I wasn't sure what to expect when posting. This is stuff that I've kept buried deep inside for many years and at times turning to the music of Eddie and pj was my only calming outlet.
Truly is food for the soul. I will definitely be posting more as I have more time - pretty busy right now between work and getting the house packed up and everything ready for the move.0 -
Welcome Chris. We're always here.
SD is pretty frickin great.
Oh please let it rain today.
Those that can be trusted can change their mind.0 -
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I know all the rules, but they do not know me... guaranteed
I've lost far too many friends, that I loved dearly, to that poison... keep up the good workPost edited by my2hands on0
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