How to break the cycle of Hate

callen

Interesting posts.

So do we as humans naturally gravitate towards our tribe. Is this why we act so callously towards others?

Find it interesting that there appears to be stress between whites and blacks in US yet when I travel in my city on public transportation or going in and out of stores people are downright nice to each other. So we have this individual experience and take one Another as humans then back into tribal mode once separated back into them against us.

callen

News skews reality by showing just what sells or furthering machines motives so agree world is better place than any time in history.

rr165892

Callen,I thought we as a society had been long past the racial nonsense for the most part.But with the Mike Brown thing last year I think we as whole took a step back.That created a a new fracture that continues to be thrust upon us.Just look at the Grammy Awards.3 different performers referenced black lives matter.and made some show of hands up.You know what,that's selfish.
All lives matter.Black,White,,Muslim,Christian,Atheist Jewish.Straight or gay.We are one.
Those that choose to draw attention to separation continue to compound the problem.

oftenreading

Two good posts, callen. I'd agree that humans tend to automatically divide the world into "self" and "other". The tricky part is what we are identifying as "self" - this can be as small as the individual, but can expand to include the family, the social group, the city, the country, even the planet, depending on our willingness to see the similarities. This speaks to your experience of individuals on a commuter train treating each other well - it's harder to ignore that we're all in the same boat then.

And rr, you'd be lucky if you were the one wearing that heavy armour, because it meant you were pretty wealthy. Just don't fall off your horse.

rr165892

oftenreading said:

Two good posts, callen. I'd agree that humans tend to automatically divide the world into "self" and "other". The tricky part is what we are identifying as "self" - this can be as small as the individual, but can expand to include the family, the social group, the city, the country, even the planet, depending on our willingness to see the similarities. This speaks to your experience of individuals on a commuter train treating each other well - it's harder to ignore that we're all in the same boat then.

And rr, you'd be lucky if you were the one wearing that heavy armour, because it meant you were pretty wealthy. Just don't fall off your horse.

It's tough when you get your jugs of beer from the monk who was brewing it at his monestary.Have you ever tried to Joust with a beer buzz.You just end up looking like a big clunky mess.
And please I'm a land owner you will address me as Sir!!!

oftenreading

You're one of the 1%, definitely.

Annafalk

I once read a very great Japanese saying but unfortunately I can't remember it...
Something like forgive your enemies let go of your hatred and discover that you were the prisoner of your own hatred...

rr165892

Annafalk said:

I once read a very great Japanese saying but unfortunately I can't remember it...

Something like forgive your enemies let go of your hatred and discover that you were the prisoner of your own hatred...

Makes sense.Hate and anger weigh us down and hold us back

hedonist

Annafalk said:

I once read a very great Japanese saying but unfortunately I can't remember it...

Something like forgive your enemies let go of your hatred and discover that you were the prisoner of your own hatred...

This makes sense (and reminds me of Present Tense), but for some - well, ME - to actually reach that pinnacle?

Quite the journey. Takes time, strength, perspective.

Well-worth the effort and scars.

Best (worst?) part is, it never really ends since it's a part of living.

HughFreakingDillon

the problem is TOO MUCH communication and over-informing. and yes, being a "keyboard warrior". I have been guilty of it myself. we all have. responding to something on the internet without thinking about it deeply first. hell, I probably did it today.

people need to just breathe. myself included. sometimes life seems to move too fast to be able to do this, but we should all dictate our own pace.

-stop watching the news
-turn off your media devices and
1)read a book,
2)go for a walk,
3)pick up a guitar,
4)CALL someone or go for coffee with them and have a conversation.
-watch an old movie with zero violence. you'd be amazed at how different you feel.

I waste so much time on my fucking iPad it sickens me. it's like an addiction. I like to pride myself on not having a cell phone, yet I have something worse: an iPad. I told my wife when we got one that if we had that, I'd spend less time alone in the basement on the desktop and more time with the family. I really believed this to be true. I didn't use it as a ruse to get a new "thing". But it has turned into a part of my body. I get home from work, I pick up the iPad. I really want to stop looking at the internet and live my life, but it's just become so second nature to be all consumed with curiosity of what is going on in the world, that it is tough to reverse it.

thing is, if I don't use my pc or iPad for a long period of time (like in the summer spending time at th efamily cottage with no tv or devices), when I get home it takes a full freaking day to look at all the stupid emails I get and whatnot. how do you reverse this behaviour when it is how the world communicates now? I have sometimes wondered to my wife that we should cancel our internet service.

I remember a time, before owning a computer, just before the turn of the century, of being BORED. And when I was bored I'd pick up a hobby or meet someone for a beer. or, let's be honest, channel surf. I want to be bored again. and not so ridiculously informed of the world's events that it creeps into my daily attitudes on life.

hope I didn't stray off topic. sorry if I did!

/rant.

backseatLover12

I'd just like to point out that all these views are merely how we see our world.

We have choices. We can be negative, or even cynical, and our world reflects that. Or, we can have empathy, care about each other, maybe even try to be more positive about things, and the world reflects that. Choices.

backseatLover12

Annafalk said:

I once read a very great Japanese saying but unfortunately I can't remember it...

Something like forgive your enemies let go of your hatred and discover that you were the prisoner of your own hatred...

Great saying! I know it's an overplayed song from an over-hyped movie (Frozen), but there is a lot to "Let it Go". If we actually let more go - our hatred, our narrow view of the world, our problems… we'd actually be in a better place.

rr165892

Hugh,use it for good then.Our world has changed.It is not like the pre computer,pre plugged in age.I too wax poetic for those summer nights playing kick the can ,hide and seek or ball at the park.Just hangin with friends.Everything was an adventure.We never wanted to be inside.
You can use today's ameneties to your advantage.I have my IPad w me all day for buisness so I do read my stories,check in here,look at the markets,read some sports and news.Its all good.

When it gets too much.Shut it down for a few,I hit the gym,play with the dogs,annoy my wife,listen to tunes.I talk to a lot people face to face all day so I do not feel the need to increase my one on one contact.Ive never let that slip.

But we can do so much good with the info we have at our finger tips.Look at all the cool issues and events this site alone discusses and teaches us.

backseatLover12

Paulonious, I have found that doing a massive "unsubscribe" to senders of my email, to be helpful. I, too, come back to too many emails, most of which are unnecessary, so I just started unsubscribing nearly everything. We don't need to be chained to to our gadgets. If we can't just let it go and walk away, start with unsubscribing. It's helped me a ton.

HughFreakingDillon

rr165892 said:

Hugh,use it for good then.Our world has changed.It is not like the pre computer,pre plugged in age.I too wax poetic for those summer nights playing kick the can ,hide and seek or ball at the park.Just hangin with friends.Everything was an adventure.We never wanted to be inside.
You can use today's ameneties to your advantage.I have my IPad w me all day for buisness so I do read my stories,check in here,look at the markets,read some sports and news.Its all good.

When it gets too much.Shut it down for a few,I hit the gym,play with the dogs,annoy my wife,listen to tunes.I talk to a lot people face to face all day so I do not feel the need to increase my one on one contact.Ive never let that slip.

But we can do so much good with the info we have at our finger tips.Look at all the cool issues and events this site alone discusses and teaches us.

there is a pro and con. awareness of social issues, on this site for instance, breeds social activity on the cause(s). But I just sometimes feel that the more information I have, the more I crave.

I do see your point about wishlist functions, and the yellow ribbon campaign that were not previously possible or as easily organized.

these devices, in my opinion, breed isolation through constant digital communication, which further leads to negative behaviour is human interactions as people are losing their ability to be empathetic. I mean, I'm talking to people on the internet, but I rarely talk to friends or family. and when I do it's through email or text.

some of that is age; I have purged most of my friends from my younger days as they were not people that belonged in my life anymore, but I've replaced those relationships with screen names and avatars. I speak to parents of my kids' friends when I drop them off at school and such, but, I don't know. Maybe it is just age.

yeah, I interact a lot with people during the day at work, why do I feel the need to shut down at home?

All I know is how awareness of the negative world around me affects me emotionally and mentally. not all people are like that, but I am, and I need to keep away from it as much as I can. I never watch the news just for that reason. 95% shit and 5% puff pieces. that's an incredible lopside to overcome.

backseatLover12

brianlux said:

It's the stubborn idealist in me, bsL. I grew up in a time and place where people my age were saying things like "give peace a chance" and "we're going to change the world". That generation grew into middle age and (I know its not quite fare to generalize, but this is mostly true) we got too caught up in our own pleasure and desires and really dropped the ball on that one. The punk generation came along and said "you phonies!" and used anger to try to forge a different world. And then the next generation came along and it seems to be plagued with despair a lot of sarcasm and hopelessness but also a kind of world savvy that's waiting to move into action. If we took the best of what all of us have to offer be it thoughts of peace and love, screaming at what doesn't work or an connected-through-social-media sense of worldliness and work it all together to create true changes for the better, maybe then we can move idealism away from being seen as airy fairly and actually get some shit done. We can break the cycle of despair as well as the cycle of hate.

Look in the right places and you'll find the groups making a positive difference and proving that having an idealistic mind isn't the fluff that others make it out to be. We're just looking in the wrong directions. Sure, there are no massive public movements for peace like in the 60s, but it doesn't mean these ideals don't reside in many of us and we're just not sure how to go about it. Maybe looking to the internet is the wrong way to to go about it, if all we tend to see is negativity. Maybe down at the local co-op or farmer's market are the right group of people. But they're out there, I know it. One of them has got to be the guys in the band, what other bands do you know of where every band member put a lot of time into making a difference for the better? We certainly have them to look up to.

brianlux

backseatLover12 said:

brianlux said:

It's the stubborn idealist in me, bsL. I grew up in a time and place where people my age were saying things like "give peace a chance" and "we're going to change the world". That generation grew into middle age and (I know its not quite fare to generalize, but this is mostly true) we got too caught up in our own pleasure and desires and really dropped the ball on that one. The punk generation came along and said "you phonies!" and used anger to try to forge a different world. And then the next generation came along and it seems to be plagued with despair a lot of sarcasm and hopelessness but also a kind of world savvy that's waiting to move into action. If we took the best of what all of us have to offer be it thoughts of peace and love, screaming at what doesn't work or an connected-through-social-media sense of worldliness and work it all together to create true changes for the better, maybe then we can move idealism away from being seen as airy fairly and actually get some shit done. We can break the cycle of despair as well as the cycle of hate.

Look in the right places and you'll find the groups making a positive difference and proving that having an idealistic mind isn't the fluff that others make it out to be. We're just looking in the wrong directions. Sure, there are no massive public movements for peace like in the 60s, but it doesn't mean these ideals don't reside in many of us and we're just not sure how to go about it. Maybe looking to the internet is the wrong way to to go about it, if all we tend to see is negativity. Maybe down at the local co-op or farmer's market are the right group of people. But they're out there, I know it. One of them has got to be the guys in the band, what other bands do you know of where every band member put a lot of time into making a difference for the better? We certainly have them to look up to.

I think your right, bsL, I think there a many people out there who want to see change happen, who want peace, who want a better world. Most of us (me included, for sure) are not really sure how to effect change (it is "effect"- I had to look it up, haha!). Things like the video you posted really help because those kind of things "go viral" on the internet. Yet in the electronic age these inspirations seem to come and goo quickly. The internet provides us with far more information then we had in the 60's and yet it doesn't seem to stick around very long. I think this is partly what you and rr and Paulonius are getting at in the discussion above- that all of this information is almost too much. But maybe not, maybe what we need are strong leaders and activist who know how to focus all of that information and inspire all the people with all that energy they have waiting to go to work.

callen

backseatLover12 said:

I'd just like to point out that all these views are merely how we see our world.

Or, we can have empathy, care about each other, maybe even try to be more positive about things, and the world reflects that. Choices.

Like be more like Lux!!!

backseatLover12

callen said:

backseatLover12 said:

I'd just like to point out that all these views are merely how we see our world.

Or, we can have empathy, care about each other, maybe even try to be more positive about things, and the world reflects that. Choices.

Like be more like Lux!!!

Exactly!

brianlux

Be more like all of us on AMT! We have our differences here but (with few exceptions) we're here to learn and communicate. In our own little way, we all make good things happen here. Maybe what the world needs is more Moving Trains!