The Psychological Case Against Materialism

backseatLover12backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312
edited December 2014 in A Moving Train
…as we gear up for the most materialistic time of year.

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/12/psychological-case-against-materialism.html
Love of stuff will make you unhappy: You know this, and in case you forget, there is probably, somewhere, some version of A Christmas Carol playing on television right now to remind you. But in a release this morning from the American Psychological Association, psychology professor Tim Kasser gives an interesting perspective from his research on just why placing a high value on stuff is no good. In a recent meta-analysis he published with colleagues from the University of Sussex, he found that materialism seems to undermine some of our deepest human needs.

Specifically materialistic values are associated with living one's life in ways that do a relatively poor job of satisfying psychological needs to feel free, competent, and connected to other people. When people do not have their needs well-satisfied, they report lower levels of well-being and happiness, as well as more distress.

Autonomy, competence, and relatedness are, according to a popular psychological theory of human happiness, three of our most basic psychological needs. We need to feel as if we have a certain amount of control over our lives; we need to feel as if we are contributing to our environments — to work, home, or elsewhere — and experiencing growth in that area by learning new skills; finally, we need to feel as if we belong somewhere. Focusing on acquiring more stuff is not going to help satisfy any of those needs, says Kasser. It's an interesting insight that comes at one of the most stuff-crazed times of the year.

Merry STUFFmas Everyone!
Post edited by backseatLover12 on
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Comments

  • benjsbenjs Posts: 9,150
    '05 - TO, '06 - TO 1, '08 - NYC 1 & 2, '09 - TO, Chi 1 & 2, '10 - Buffalo, NYC 1 & 2, '11 - TO 1 & 2, Hamilton, '13 - Buffalo, Brooklyn 1 & 2, '15 - Global Citizen, '16 - TO 1 & 2, Chi 2

    EV
    Toronto Film Festival 9/11/2007, '08 - Toronto 1 & 2, '09 - Albany 1, '11 - Chicago 1
  • Classic Carlin, loved that!!
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    Classic Carlin, loved that!!

    Yes! One of the best! A pile of stuff! Hahaha!

    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • brianlux wrote: »
    Classic Carlin, loved that!!

    Yes! One of the best! A pile of stuff! Hahaha!

    I bet Carlin gave gifts to his family - read stuff
  • It's funny. I was teaching Thoreau's Walden to my students a few weeks ago. I know Thoreau may or may not have been a bit of a hypocrite, getting his mother to fold his underpants once a week while he was preaching about the transcendental existence he was supposed to be living, but he did in some ways anticipate what Kasser's saying, here. Could you be happier making your own shoes, planting your own beans, and living at least a couple of miles off the grid?







  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    It's funny. I was teaching Thoreau's Walden to my students a few weeks ago. I know Thoreau may or may not have been a bit of a hypocrite, getting his mother to fold his underpants once a week while he was preaching about the transcendental existence he was supposed to be living, but he did in some ways anticipate what Kasser's saying, here.

    Anyone one who is scrutinized enough will reveal some hypocritical traits. I'm totally fine with that and totally fine with admitting my faults and hypocrisies. That doesn't mean we should foster hypocrisy, it just means the more we are aware of our shortcomings, the more we can work on doing a better job of what ever it is we aspire to.

    Could you be happier making your own shoes, planting your own beans, and living at least a couple of miles off the grid?

    Most of us would have a very difficult time making this transition quickly. But moving toward that goal can be very rewarding. Making food from scratch is so much more rewarding and healthier than processed garbage food. Same with growing at home whether it be a small farm, a large garden or growing herbs in a kitchen window. Same with making your own music, etc. Given the chance to experience the satisfaction of anything DIY, most people find doing things for oneself very rewarding. One of my cousins kids attended a private school in which only part of the day involved regular classroom learning. The rest of the school day was spent learning hands-on skills and learning how their math, writing, science etc. skills applied to those manual skills. If all schools worked this way, most of us would grow up learning the value of living more simply and provided for ourselves more rather than the eventual degradation of living off pre-processed crap.

    So to answer your question I would say, ultimately, yes.

    I'm curious- are you using some of these ideas with your students and if so, what is their response? Does it pique their interest?

    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    Jack London was a fat, spoiled, city-slicker lol
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    edited December 2014
    rgambs wrote: »
    Jack London was a fat, spoiled, city-slicker lol

    Definitely not one pre-disposed to simple living. Look at Wolf House!

    http://www.parks.sonoma.net/wolfhouse.html
    Post edited by brianlux on
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    edited December 2014
    brianlux wrote: »
    I'm curious- are you using some of these ideas with your students and if so, what is their response? Does it pique their interest?

    What I did was to set up a class where we put Thoreau's ideas on trial. People sympathetic with Thoreau's anti-capitalism and distrust of a consumerist mindset would be asked to play devil's advocate and present the case against Thoreau, and people who found Thoreau's ideas either unworkable or hypocritical for whatever reason would be asked to defend him. This encouraged students to be more evenhanded about his ideas. I found that in the end, a great discussion ensued where the trial scenario gave way to honest appraisal of the prescience of what Thoreau was trying to advocate in his time, in spite of his relative shortcomings. I know that a few of the class are going to write about Thoreau for their upcoming assignment.



  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    brianlux wrote: »
    I'm curious- are you using some of these ideas with your students and if so, what is their response? Does it pique their interest?

    What I did was to set up a class where we put Thoreau's ideas on trial. People sympathetic with Thoreau's anti-capitalism and distrust of a consumerist mindset would be asked to play devil's advocate and present the case against Thoreau, and people who found Thoreau's ideas either unworkable or hypocritical for whatever reason would be asked to defend him. This encouraged students to be more evenhanded about his ideas. I found that in the end, a great discussion ensued where the trial scenario gave way to honest appraisal of the prescience of what Thoreau was trying to advocate in his time, in spite of his relative shortcomings. I know that a few of the class are going to write about Thoreau for their upcoming assignment.

    That sounds like a great lesson plan/learning experience. Lucky students to a have a good teacher such as yourself to expand their minds and challenge their thinking. Well done!

    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • This year I told my wife how sick of xmas I have become. We budget over $1000 per year to buying shit for people for no real reason other than to satisfy our own economy, as retail now depends on xmas revenue for their bottom line. And don't get me started on how much boxing day disgusts me with people lining up all night in the freezing cold to get a fucking tv or ipod. In the past several years, I had started liking xmas again because I have young kids. But then I started to notice the greed it can foster in my usually all-appreciative and very thankful 8 year old. I put off doing all my shopping until the 23rd, and it was a fucking miserable experience. I simply cannot wrap my head around the idea of people going into debt or even foresakingbtheir own life experience so they can get the best gifts for everybody. I think next year I am going to suggest no gifts at all for our family (maybe a couple for the kids), and we all go on a trip south instead. It just makes absolutely zero sense, especially for my wife and I, to budget our money to spend on things we seriously do not need. For example, as a joke, she bought me a Stress Paul (my name is Paul). I said, "how much was this?". She wasn't sure. She checked. $13. 13 fucking dollars for something that will just end up in the trash. Commercialism at its worst. She agreedvwith me. So we returned it, and I may get something else, I just might not. But if I do, it will be a book or something.
    My 16 year old nephew this year said he wanted "life experiences with family", no material gifts. It was his own idea. Now that is the spirit of xmas.
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    I try to squash xmas down smaller and smaller every year. I don't have much success with the parents and in-laws, bit my wife and I no longer do gifts and we dont miss it a bit.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    As much as it's great that we had a busy season this year and book sales were good, I'd rather see it spread out over the year. I get super burned out this time of year and it's becoming more trouble than it's worth (but I pretty much keep that to myself because those I work with think the busy holidays are great).

    Same thing with gift giving. The idea of buying some THING for someone just because you feel obligated is nonsense. Instead, if I do get somebody something it's either something I know they will enjoy and use (usually a book or music) or , preferably, something they can eat, drink or grow (if they like growing plants). We all eat and drink anyway so it's not a waste of resources. Buying crap to fill landfills may help the economy in the short term but eventually it will destroy both the economy and the environment that sustains us. When we throw all that crap away we throw the future away (and recycling crap is just about as bad because it consumes energy and pollutes). If people tell me that's being bah humbug I say, no, quite the opposite. What could be better than sustaining life and sharing food and drink?
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    Things to eat and drink are indeed good, as long as they are good quality things. Personally, I've always favoured giving experiences, not "stuff", especially to my loved ones. That includes concert tickets (of course!) and other performances, little trips, and once even a ride in a hot air balloon.

    And Brian, great to hear it was a good year for book sales. One of my very best presents this Christmas was two books from my 15 year old daughter. She talked to 4 different people, friends and family, to get suggestions on what books she might consider and managed to find two I had not read but are perfect for me. The amount of effort she put into it really touched me. :)
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    Things to eat and drink are indeed good, as long as they are good quality things. Personally, I've always favoured giving experiences, not "stuff", especially to my loved ones. That includes concert tickets (of course!) and other performances, little trips, and once even a ride in a hot air balloon.

    And Brian, great to hear it was a good year for book sales. One of my very best presents this Christmas was two books from my 15 year old daughter. She talked to 4 different people, friends and family, to get suggestions on what books she might consider and managed to find two I had not read but are perfect for me. The amount of effort she put into it really touched me. :)

    Giving experiences. What a great concept! I've actually done something like that but never thought of it in those terms. Very nice!

    And nice that you got books! How cool that your daughter went to such effort to make it good. One of the most enjoyable gifts I received this year was a copy of Henry Rollins' End to End; Two Thirteen Sixty One Vol. II. Not an easy find but my wife made it happen!

    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • My wife's family only get gifts for the kids, and each adult buys one gift worth $30 and we play the stealing game. My wife always tells me to just buy a gift card. I fucking hate gift cards for presents (unless it's itunes). It is just so goddamn lazy, it is basically giving cash except worse; a GC forces me to shop where you choose. As much as I hate xmas shopping because of what it represents, I do get satisfaction out of putting some effort into it, hoping that I buy something that at least one person will WANT to steal. Which they did again this year.
    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    It's strange to me, not just the manufactured pressure to buy but then to succumb to it. The frenzy! I'd go nuts now...part of the reason I got out of retail years ago. Seeing the side of people willing to come to blows over a device or set of sheets or piece of apparel? Nope.

    (and with that I'll say, if I had the money and time, it'd be a blast to surprise people I know and those I don't with fun, personal or extravagant presents. Maybe we all like playing our own version of Santa?)

    Was a time I'd send cards, get gifts for various folks...but when that circle grew and began to feel overwhelming, I said fuck it. Now we just give toward a bonus fund for the staff of our building, and a few separate donations to the organizations we admire or support.

    Part of why I've grown to love this time of year :-)
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    brianlux wrote: »
    Things to eat and drink are indeed good, as long as they are good quality things. Personally, I've always favoured giving experiences, not "stuff", especially to my loved ones. That includes concert tickets (of course!) and other performances, little trips, and once even a ride in a hot air balloon.

    And Brian, great to hear it was a good year for book sales. One of my very best presents this Christmas was two books from my 15 year old daughter. She talked to 4 different people, friends and family, to get suggestions on what books she might consider and managed to find two I had not read but are perfect for me. The amount of effort she put into it really touched me. :)

    Giving experiences. What a great concept! I've actually done something like that but never thought of it in those terms. Very nice!

    And nice that you got books! How cool that your daughter went to such effort to make it good. One of the most enjoyable gifts I received this year was a copy of Henry Rollins' End to End; Two Thirteen Sixty One Vol. II. Not an easy find but my wife made it happen!

    Yes. One of the two books was a collection of short stories by one of my favourite authors who unfortunately died too young earlier this year. I have pretty much all his novels - easily more than 15 - but didn't realize there was a collection of short fiction.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    brianlux wrote: »
    Things to eat and drink are indeed good, as long as they are good quality things. Personally, I've always favoured giving experiences, not "stuff", especially to my loved ones. That includes concert tickets (of course!) and other performances, little trips, and once even a ride in a hot air balloon.

    And Brian, great to hear it was a good year for book sales. One of my very best presents this Christmas was two books from my 15 year old daughter. She talked to 4 different people, friends and family, to get suggestions on what books she might consider and managed to find two I had not read but are perfect for me. The amount of effort she put into it really touched me. :)

    Giving experiences. What a great concept! I've actually done something like that but never thought of it in those terms. Very nice!

    And nice that you got books! How cool that your daughter went to such effort to make it good. One of the most enjoyable gifts I received this year was a copy of Henry Rollins' End to End; Two Thirteen Sixty One Vol. II. Not an easy find but my wife made it happen!

    Yes. One of the two books was a collection of short stories by one of my favourite authors who unfortunately died too young earlier this year. I have pretty much all his novels - easily more than 15 - but didn't realize there was a collection of short fiction.

    Definitely piqued my curiosity- who is this writer?

    Another mostly good idea for gift giving is to make a donation in someones name to a charity you believe they would support. I majorly messed up on this once years ago. I had gotten married and didn't know one of my new in laws as well as I'd thought and made a donation in his name to an organization he not only didn't support, but one he actually hated. Oops! The other potential problem is finding an organization that is a good steward of the funds taken in. That can be tricky sometimes.

    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    brianlux wrote: »
    brianlux wrote: »
    Things to eat and drink are indeed good, as long as they are good quality things. Personally, I've always favoured giving experiences, not "stuff", especially to my loved ones. That includes concert tickets (of course!) and other performances, little trips, and once even a ride in a hot air balloon.

    And Brian, great to hear it was a good year for book sales. One of my very best presents this Christmas was two books from my 15 year old daughter. She talked to 4 different people, friends and family, to get suggestions on what books she might consider and managed to find two I had not read but are perfect for me. The amount of effort she put into it really touched me. :)

    Giving experiences. What a great concept! I've actually done something like that but never thought of it in those terms. Very nice!

    And nice that you got books! How cool that your daughter went to such effort to make it good. One of the most enjoyable gifts I received this year was a copy of Henry Rollins' End to End; Two Thirteen Sixty One Vol. II. Not an easy find but my wife made it happen!

    Yes. One of the two books was a collection of short stories by one of my favourite authors who unfortunately died too young earlier this year. I have pretty much all his novels - easily more than 15 - but didn't realize there was a collection of short fiction.

    Definitely piqued my curiosity- who is this writer?

    Another mostly good idea for gift giving is to make a donation in someones name to a charity you believe they would support. I majorly messed up on this once years ago. I had gotten married and didn't know one of my new in laws as well as I'd thought and made a donation in his name to an organization he not only didn't support, but one he actually hated. Oops! The other potential problem is finding an organization that is a good steward of the funds taken in. That can be tricky sometimes.

    Iain Banks, a Scottish author who also wrote under the name Iain M. Banks. I first heard about him when I lived in Scotland in the early 1990s. He wrote both literary fiction and SF and many of his novels were set in Scotland, with a fantastic sense of place; reading them back in Canada years later always made me feel I was right back there. A vein of humour runs throughout all of his books, even the more serious ones.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    brianlux wrote: »
    brianlux wrote: »
    Things to eat and drink are indeed good, as long as they are good quality things. Personally, I've always favoured giving experiences, not "stuff", especially to my loved ones. That includes concert tickets (of course!) and other performances, little trips, and once even a ride in a hot air balloon.

    And Brian, great to hear it was a good year for book sales. One of my very best presents this Christmas was two books from my 15 year old daughter. She talked to 4 different people, friends and family, to get suggestions on what books she might consider and managed to find two I had not read but are perfect for me. The amount of effort she put into it really touched me. :)

    Giving experiences. What a great concept! I've actually done something like that but never thought of it in those terms. Very nice!

    And nice that you got books! How cool that your daughter went to such effort to make it good. One of the most enjoyable gifts I received this year was a copy of Henry Rollins' End to End; Two Thirteen Sixty One Vol. II. Not an easy find but my wife made it happen!

    Yes. One of the two books was a collection of short stories by one of my favourite authors who unfortunately died too young earlier this year. I have pretty much all his novels - easily more than 15 - but didn't realize there was a collection of short fiction.

    Definitely piqued my curiosity- who is this writer?

    Another mostly good idea for gift giving is to make a donation in someones name to a charity you believe they would support. I majorly messed up on this once years ago. I had gotten married and didn't know one of my new in laws as well as I'd thought and made a donation in his name to an organization he not only didn't support, but one he actually hated. Oops! The other potential problem is finding an organization that is a good steward of the funds taken in. That can be tricky sometimes.

    Iain Banks, a Scottish author who also wrote under the name Iain M. Banks. I first heard about him when I lived in Scotland in the early 1990s. He wrote both literary fiction and SF and many of his novels were set in Scotland, with a fantastic sense of place; reading them back in Canada years later always made me feel I was right back there. A vein of humour runs throughout all of his books, even the more serious ones.

    I haven't read Banks- I'll check out some of his work. Bummer - 59, definitely too young :-(

    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • riotgrlriotgrl Posts: 1,895
    paulonious wrote: »
    This year I told my wife how sick of xmas I have become. We budget over $1000 per year to buying shit for people for no real reason other than to satisfy our own economy, as retail now depends on xmas revenue for their bottom line. And don't get me started on how much boxing day disgusts me with people lining up all night in the freezing cold to get a fucking tv or ipod. In the past several years, I had started liking xmas again because I have young kids. But then I started to notice the greed it can foster in my usually all-appreciative and very thankful 8 year old. I put off doing all my shopping until the 23rd, and it was a fucking miserable experience. I simply cannot wrap my head around the idea of people going into debt or even foresakingbtheir own life experience so they can get the best gifts for everybody. I think next year I am going to suggest no gifts at all for our family (maybe a couple for the kids), and we all go on a trip south instead. It just makes absolutely zero sense, especially for my wife and I, to budget our money to spend on things we seriously do not need. For example, as a joke, she bought me a Stress Paul (my name is Paul). I said, "how much was this?". She wasn't sure. She checked. $13. 13 fucking dollars for something that will just end up in the trash. Commercialism at its worst. She agreedvwith me. So we returned it, and I may get something else, I just might not. But if I do, it will be a book or something.
    My 16 year old nephew this year said he wanted "life experiences with family", no material gifts. It was his own idea. Now that is the spirit of xmas.

    A couple of years ago we instituted the Christmas rule: something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read. Each of my kids gets 4 gifts (from us or Santa) and it has been very nice. Our kids barely miss the overly elaborate gift giving at Christmas and appreciate what they are given. Now what the grandparents do is another story.....
    Are we getting something out of this all-encompassing trip?

    Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...

    I AM MINE
  • riotgrlriotgrl Posts: 1,895
    It's funny. I was teaching Thoreau's Walden to my students a few weeks ago. I know Thoreau may or may not have been a bit of a hypocrite, getting his mother to fold his underpants once a week while he was preaching about the transcendental existence he was supposed to be living, but he did in some ways anticipate what Kasser's saying, here. Could you be happier making your own shoes, planting your own beans, and living at least a couple of miles off the grid?

    I love this! One of the classes I teach examines the idea of being more self-sufficient. It is amazing how many kids (and their families) try to plant their own food/raise their own food here in the urban area that I live. They often feel outside the norm until we start to examine how tenuous our existence is inside the 'grid'. It definitely elicits interesting discussions in terms of being self-sufficient vs. trying to fit in with the current food system/urban system.
    Are we getting something out of this all-encompassing trip?

    Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...

    I AM MINE
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    brianlux wrote: »
    brianlux wrote: »
    brianlux wrote: »
    Things to eat and drink are indeed good, as long as they are good quality things. Personally, I've always favoured giving experiences, not "stuff", especially to my loved ones. That includes concert tickets (of course!) and other performances, little trips, and once even a ride in a hot air balloon.

    And Brian, great to hear it was a good year for book sales. One of my very best presents this Christmas was two books from my 15 year old daughter. She talked to 4 different people, friends and family, to get suggestions on what books she might consider and managed to find two I had not read but are perfect for me. The amount of effort she put into it really touched me. :)

    Giving experiences. What a great concept! I've actually done something like that but never thought of it in those terms. Very nice!

    And nice that you got books! How cool that your daughter went to such effort to make it good. One of the most enjoyable gifts I received this year was a copy of Henry Rollins' End to End; Two Thirteen Sixty One Vol. II. Not an easy find but my wife made it happen!

    Yes. One of the two books was a collection of short stories by one of my favourite authors who unfortunately died too young earlier this year. I have pretty much all his novels - easily more than 15 - but didn't realize there was a collection of short fiction.

    Definitely piqued my curiosity- who is this writer?

    Another mostly good idea for gift giving is to make a donation in someones name to a charity you believe they would support. I majorly messed up on this once years ago. I had gotten married and didn't know one of my new in laws as well as I'd thought and made a donation in his name to an organization he not only didn't support, but one he actually hated. Oops! The other potential problem is finding an organization that is a good steward of the funds taken in. That can be tricky sometimes.

    Iain Banks, a Scottish author who also wrote under the name Iain M. Banks. I first heard about him when I lived in Scotland in the early 1990s. He wrote both literary fiction and SF and many of his novels were set in Scotland, with a fantastic sense of place; reading them back in Canada years later always made me feel I was right back there. A vein of humour runs throughout all of his books, even the more serious ones.

    I haven't read Banks- I'll check out some of his work. Bummer - 59, definitely too young :-(

    I hope you do decide to check out some of Banks' work, Brian. If you do, don't start with The Wasp Factory. His first novel, it catapulted him onto the British literary scene; it was designed to be shocking, and it is. However, it doesn't represent his work. Some of my favourites are Espedair Street (told from the point of view of the bass guitarist of a fictional rock band that goes from obscurity to super-stardom), The Crow Road, and Whit. On the SF side, Consider Phlebas is probably the one to start with.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • brianluxbrianlux Posts: 42,042
    Thanks, Oftenreading. Espedair Street sounds like my cup of tea!
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • riotgrl wrote: »

    A couple of years ago we instituted the Christmas rule: something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read. Each of my kids gets 4 gifts (from us or Santa) and it has been very nice. Our kids barely miss the overly elaborate gift giving at Christmas and appreciate what they are given. Now what the grandparents do is another story.....

    that's fantastic!

    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

    www.headstonesband.com




  • backseatLover12backseatLover12 Posts: 2,312
    edited December 2014
    What an awesome discussion, probably the best I've seen on here. I especially like your idea riotgrl, the Christmas rule, and must remember it for next year!

    I have quite a materialistic family - 3 sisters who love to shop and buy the rest of us adults gifts. One sister and I have had a few arguments about it just this year, and all three of them refuse to see my point of not being interested in making Christmas, Giftmas. To me, it's a children's holiday for receiving gifts, us adults don't need the unnecessary stress of buying the others stuff. But attempting to reason with a greedy family proves unfruitful. I did not - and won't - buy my sisters gifts and told them this months ago. They don't care, it's that love of STUFF and Shopping that trumps the holiday for them. I just choose not to participate, and give the crap they give me away to a needy family. Years ago I bought each one a gift certificate to give to the charity of their choice. And they actually threw the certificates in the garbage. What to do with these people?
    Post edited by backseatLover12 on
  • rgambsrgambs Posts: 13,576
    So many people out there who shop for fun. And I am like WTF mate?! Shopping is a thing I do reluctantly when I have already needed something badly for many months. I don't get how spending money on trinkets and baubles is entertainment to so many millions of people.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • What an awesome discussion, probably the best I've seen on here. I especially like your idea riotgrl, the Christmas rule, and must remember it for next year!

    I have quite a materialistic family - 3 sisters who love to shop and buy the rest of us adults gifts. One sister and I have had a few arguments about it just this year, and all three of them refuse to see my point of not being interested in making Christmas, Giftmas. To me, it's a children's holiday for receiving gifts, us adults don't need the unnecessary stress of buying the others stuff. But attempting to reason with a greedy family proves unfruitful. I did not - and won't - buy my sisters gifts and told them this months ago. They don't care, it's that love of STUFF and Shopping that trumps the holiday for them. I just choose not to participate, and give the crap they give me away to a needy family. Years ago I bought each one a gift certificate to give to the charity of their choice. And they actually threw the certificates in the garbage. What to do with these people?

    Dear god, I thought my sister was bad. That is disgusting!

    I just don't even find the point in even celebrating it at all. I mean, I want my kids to grow up normal, and not have to defend their crazy dad who hates xmas to their friends, but at the same time, what the fuck am I really teaching them by participating in this materialistic charade? My wife is catholic, so there's the baby jesus side of things, but let's be real here, 99% of xmas has nothing to do with god for 98% of people, christians included. My wife's family is deeply religious (she has several nun aunts), but besides going to mass xmas eve (which most christians do out of obligation, not joy) that's pretty much it. Then gifts and drink and food.

    But how do you stop the xmas machine and still raise normal kids? Lol!

    new album "Cigarettes" out Spring 2025!

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  • Go BeaversGo Beavers Posts: 9,087
    While consuming less is one thing, the greater challenge is the part in the op that says people want to feel "free, competent, and connected". If you're able to free yourself from possessions, then the reduction in consuming follows. You have to look at how possessions can create stress and lead to disconnect from others. I think of cars as one of the main culprits of this. People probably spend $150 to $700 a month on their car and some talk about how their life comes to a stand still if their car doesn't start. Not to mention the stress related to traffic and that you give up much of your actual freedom for the perceived gain in freedom the car gives. Also, being able to put down the phone and be in the moment takes practice. Essentially a lot of the possessions are there to take us away from the present moment or avoid something uncomfortable. Practicing being present and not avoiding can also bring that detachment from possessions and greater freedom.
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