Diary of a shy person and the Internet Forums

chadwick

take a college course where you do research on whatever subject (or maybe its a poetry class & you write your own stuff) & write a paper on your research. when the professor asks who wants to go first at reading their essay aloud, you should jump up & read your paper.

Walking the miles

Don't think about, just jump up and do it. Rather then wait and dread your turn. Got it, smart

benjs

I have a few suggestions for you, Walking the Miles... the first is backpacking if you can afford the time and monetary cost. There's no better way to find your voice than amongst non-judgmental strangers who you all recognize you might never see again tomorrow. I went from playing open mic shows at bars completely wasted to playing exclusively sober. Literally, a complete discovery of my voice, and a realization that people are inherently accepting, in spite of the heavy-handed response that many tend to give impulsively.

The second is Toastmasters. I would literally have heart palpitations when I gave presentations in university. After attending and participating in weekly Toastmasters meetings for just a few months, I can confidently present ideas off the cuff now to small teams and even senior management members within our company without feeling my heart rate rise, and have learnt many invaluable skills which help me formulate and express ideas coherently. Our fine city has too many Toastmasters clubs to count, thankfully, and you can attend for up to three or four sessions typically at a club before they ask you to pay the nominal fees (typically about $10 a month).

Next up, strange enough, is meditation or the attainment of a mantra. Meditation is not something that requires you to lock yourself in a room to do it; when studying at a monastery, I learnt about walking meditation techniques, as well as how to enter states of mindfulness even amongst chaotic situations ripe with sensory overload. My mantra of choice is Nepal's practically national mantra: ohm mani padme hum (the jewel of the lotus is the literal translation). When I repeat this, possibly because of the memories that I associate it with, an overwhelming sense of calm comes over me and the litany of fears I may have had are swept away.

Finally, hang around here. There are people who aim to beat people down, but I like to think we take care of each other here, and don't tolerate that kind of junk.

As you expressed perfectly, just keep on jumping in. Anxiety is a byproduct of contemplation, and while rash decisions aren't always great ones, the decision to express yourself is one that's worth making an exception for.

chadwick

"Bridges freak me out too... Something I probably shouldn't admit as a structural engineer

A stranger one is a totally overwhelming sense of claustrophobia that comes over me when I'm walking on an escalator that isn't moving. Bizarre, eh?"

have you engineered bridges? buildings? stadiums?

claustrophobic while walking on a escalator that's standing still.... shit, you are jammed up
i am claustrophobic when air is stale or in a mri tube or when sitting in those little rooms with the model knees & backs, medical posters & the good dr.s degrees framed on the walls.... the fucking door is closed & the room is small & there is no windows & you're sitting on the exam table with the paper sheet down the length of it.... the damn room the nurse takes vitals in & you wait to see the dr... fuck that room

i've gotten up, opened the door & walked in circles doing laps waiting on the dr or the nurse. i don't like those rooms & i would rather have the door open, they would not though. it's like im frankenstein in a small bathroom & im going ape shit crazy trying to pee or two & the sink is on top of me. im trying to shower & the toilet is half way in the shower & the water pressure is like a toad spitting water on me. wtf!? i can't move.















now im fucking shy again

JWPearl

Talking bout phobias..... when i was 15 I went hang-gliding was not one bit afraid of heights, when I was 15 I stole my dads car and went driving in it, 4wheel drive loved it, when i was 20 we owned a boat, went steering the thing everywhere, and all my life i loved swimming in the ocean and river.
Now Im petrified of heights, cant go up a ladder or two story buildings, hate bridges and esculators, i wont go in a boat now letalone get in the water anywhere too scared and now im petrified to drive, and if i come close to doing these things it involves stress and or panick attacks....the strangest thing is, I know that fear can disappear and i can do those things again, and if you ask me how i know that, well i have experienced it, but for the moment the fear is very strong and it can come on just as it can leave as well, and i honestly cant explain why.....

rollings

chadwick said:

"Bridges freak me out too... Something I probably shouldn't admit as a structural engineer

A stranger one is a totally overwhelming sense of claustrophobia that comes over me when I'm walking on an escalator that isn't moving. Bizarre, eh?"

have you engineered bridges? buildings? stadiums?

claustrophobic while walking on a escalator that's standing still.... shit, you are jammed up
i am claustrophobic when air is stale or in a mri tube or when sitting in those little rooms with the model knees & backs, medical posters & the good dr.s degrees framed on the walls.... the fucking door is closed & the room is small & there is no windows & you're sitting on the exam table with the paper sheet down the length of it.... the damn room the nurse takes vitals in & you wait to see the dr... fuck that room

i've gotten up, opened the door & walked in circles doing laps waiting on the dr or the nurse. i don't like those rooms & i would rather have the door open, they would not though. it's like im frankenstein in a small bathroom & im going ape shit crazy trying to pee or two & the sink is on top of me. im trying to shower & the toilet is half way in the shower & the water pressure is like a toad spitting water on me. wtf!? i can't move.















now im fucking shy again

Oh, please!

You shouldn't be shy....do you know how much chicks dig Frankenstein in a small bathroom?!

They go crazy over him. Not every girl speaks about it , but there ain't a girl in the world who doesn't want a Frankenstein in their small bathroom.

not a one

chadwick

)

chadwick

gonna write a book titled, "frankstein goin nuts in a small bathroom - the life & times of one dumb asshole tryin to get by in life"

too shy to publish it

rollings

Before

















During



























After

chadwick

im shy, please go outside so i can go under the stairs

rollings

that's Frankenstein in a small bat room tho

benjs

chadwick said:

"Bridges freak me out too... Something I probably shouldn't admit as a structural engineer

A stranger one is a totally overwhelming sense of claustrophobia that comes over me when I'm walking on an escalator that isn't moving. Bizarre, eh?"

have you engineered bridges? buildings? stadiums?

claustrophobic while walking on a escalator that's standing still.... shit, you are jammed up
i am claustrophobic when air is stale or in a mri tube or when sitting in those little rooms with the model knees & backs, medical posters & the good dr.s degrees framed on the walls.... the fucking door is closed & the room is small & there is no windows & you're sitting on the exam table with the paper sheet down the length of it.... the damn room the nurse takes vitals in & you wait to see the dr... fuck that room

i've gotten up, opened the door & walked in circles doing laps waiting on the dr or the nurse. i don't like those rooms & i would rather have the door open, they would not though. it's like im frankenstein in a small bathroom & im going ape shit crazy trying to pee or two & the sink is on top of me. im trying to shower & the toilet is half way in the shower & the water pressure is like a toad spitting water on me. wtf!? i can't move.















now im fucking shy again

You crack me up, Chadwick

I have engineered buildings exclusively... It was a short-lived engineering career to be fair; after about half a year I recognized that it was not an industry I belonged in and have found my calling in a specific subset of the tech industry. That being said, I have taken courses specifically on bridge design and am confident about the logic and safeguards applied to them, my phobia is entirely unwarranted and irrational.

chadwick

i like engineers, they are, or, seem to be what i'd call smart
nicely done finding your spot in life

benjs

chadwick said:

i like engineers, they are, or, seem to be what i'd call smart
nicely done finding your spot in life

Thanks, dude! Not going to lie - I didn't fit in as an engineer. Felt that way all through school, then throughout my short-lived career, and that was validated by a professional profile that left the firm's HR manager scratching his head. Introverts and people plagued with confidence issues are largely the minority within the industry... I'm a quiet type who loves to facilitate other peoples' abilities to shine. I have such a job now, and it's a real privilege!

hedonist

benjs said:

chadwick said:

i like engineers, they are, or, seem to be what i'd call smart
nicely done finding your spot in life

Thanks, dude! Not going to lie - I didn't fit in as an engineer. Felt that way all through school, then throughout my short-lived career, and that was validated by a professional profile that left the firm's HR manager scratching his head. Introverts and people plagued with confidence issues are largely the minority within the industry... I'm a quiet type who loves to facilitate other peoples' abilities to shine. I have such a job now, and it's a real privilege!

I'm quite similar...and I think in being/doing so, you shine upon your own abilities as well.

benjs

hedonist said:

benjs said:

chadwick said:

i like engineers, they are, or, seem to be what i'd call smart
nicely done finding your spot in life

Thanks, dude! Not going to lie - I didn't fit in as an engineer. Felt that way all through school, then throughout my short-lived career, and that was validated by a professional profile that left the firm's HR manager scratching his head. Introverts and people plagued with confidence issues are largely the minority within the industry... I'm a quiet type who loves to facilitate other peoples' abilities to shine. I have such a job now, and it's a real privilege!

I'm quite similar...and I think in being/doing so, you shine upon your own abilities as well.

Agreed I think we're lucky to be wired this way.

Walking the miles

Love the name of your new book Chadwick. ) I'm a facilitator also. Good work figuring it out Benjs. It takes strength to accept that you made a mistake in a life direction and changing it.

brianlux

Good words there in your first post, Walking. I also was painful shy when I was young. I'm still fairly self-conscious and maybe that's why (subconsciously?) I've put myself into positions of having to push past that- being a teacher, working with the public in bookstores, doing book fairs, organizing a rally, etc.
This is a great place to spend time interacting with good people. Then go to a PJ show and meet some of this fine folks. You'll do fine!

hedonist

Walking the miles said:

Love the name of your new book Chadwick. ) I'm a facilitator also. Good work figuring it out Benjs. It takes strength to accept that you made a mistake in a life direction and changing it.

You know, I think it takes strength to even realize it; sometimes, it's so easy to fool ourselves. And to what end?


ps to Brian - you do pretty well speaking your mind! Freedom via the physical or pen or keyboard, all an exposure of ourselves. TO ourselves.

I like it...as I do this thread

Walking the miles

I've done fairly well Brian. I keep tabs on it and push myself. But some days I fall back to old habits. I just know that I'm not the only one, and others may be in different stages of dealing with their shyness, so I felt it needed to be said. And for me it was cathartic. I was nervous to post anything serious on here before.