The anti-masturbation cross

2

Comments

  • badbrains
    badbrains Posts: 10,255
    rgambs said:

    "The person may even be married now, OR HAVE GROWN UGLY" this has to be a joke

    But it's true, people do get ugly in time. Look at miss lohan. I rest my case. >:)
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    edited September 2014
    badbrains said:

    Order yours today for delivery by the holidays. Act "fast" cuz these will def sell out!

    this part, the restraints could be fake, maybe not. what caught my eye was 5+ years! what the fuck!? whose gettin it done selfie style at 5??? this is ridiculous

    yes girls get into puberty sooner than boys. this i know as i was attacked in the 2nd grade catholic school coat room in our classroom. bam she's on me kissing me & she is cute in my eyes as a equal classmate. that was frickin great stuff. anyhow... strokin? wtf!?
    PJ_Soul said:

    Holy shit. :))
    I checked out stopmasturbationnow.org. Here's a little tidbit:

    "The Real Goal of Masturbation

    The goal of masturbation is to achieve climax alone by stimulating one’s genitals in a combination of one of the following self-rape methods:

    1.) Fantasizing about another person or person(s) – In doing this you are mentally raping that person. You have no right to be thinking those thoughts. Even if you are married and your spouse has given you permission in the past does not mean that you still have permission, just as how one-time consent does not mean permanent consent in a physical relation.

    2.) Looking at dirty Magazines - You are mentally raping the person that you are looking at. Liberals might argue that person gave consent when doing the picture shoot, but you do not know that for sure. The person may even be married now or have grown ugly.

    3.) Watching dirty Movies – As with number one or two, you might as well be Ted Bundy, illegally having your way with the peoples you are exploiting for your own sickening gratification.

    4.) The World Wideweb – The Internets are full of filth. Computers should be for taxes, online Bible studies, or logging on to the STOP Masturbation NOW netsite.

    5.) Past Experiences – Sure, that “three way” you had with the cheerleader and her sorority sister in college might have been a “good time”, however, recalling the sinful pleasure they presented you all night is the same as repeating that sin all over again.

    Bonus Faithfact – Some females and gay males use foreign objects and dinguses when masturbating. In doing so they are raping the raw materials of this world."



    X_X


    this fucking quoting feature is driving me bananas

    kids a whole hell of alot older than 5 are jerkin around in the school bathrooms. this is a rumor i heard
    & yes that list pj soul presented here is pretty real in many peoples' eyes. my co-driver in the semi truck was raised up mormon & very strictly raised mormon. they are oppressed, those kids. this dude i drove around the country with (for two years) is full of problems. yes in the mormon faith one does not stroke as that is a sin as you would be murdering countless millions of sperm & you'd be raping yourself. plus this dude grew up wanting to be a girl. his dad disowned him, what a disaster for this dude. such sad stories he recounted to me over the miles we traveled
    Post edited by chadwick on
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,760
    badbrains said:

    rgambs said:

    badbrains said:

    mickeyrat said:

    In seriousness how is thus different than chaining your kid to the bed or any other ILLEGAL means of restraint?

    Good question Mickey, and what about the shower? People masturbate in showers, how the fuck you gonna shower strapped in this thing?

    hahahaha wouldnt that be considered waterboarding!?

    Is this shit for real? Im serious, is this real or a prank from some college guys who are seriously fucking funny?
    They can use this as a slogan.
    "Crucify your child for Jesus!"
    =)) =))

    Idk if it's real or fake, someone posted it on twitter so I "jacked" it @-) from them..... =))
    I can't really figure it out either.... but that website is pretty in depth and not very funny... i think these weirdos might be for real????
    :-??
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    they are very for real
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    I always thought the term self-pollution was odd, but self-rape? Jeezus.

    I guess if NAMBLA isn't a joke, this isn't either.

    Yikes!

    I'll take hairy palms and blindness, thanks :D

  • rr165892
    rr165892 Posts: 5,697
    I showed this pic to some peeps at my house this morning and got the following response.
    "If they make a Jewish version ,do you have to take yourself to dinner first and then make yourself feel guilty after" and does the Islamic version just cut off one hand or two?
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,674
    badbrains said:

    What would Jesus do? =))
    #JesusDoesntMasturbate

    Ya gotta wonder... :-O
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Wait...why is the kid's HEAD strapped down?
  • badbrains
    badbrains Posts: 10,255
    rr165892 said:

    I showed this pic to some peeps at my house this morning and got the following response.
    "If they make a Jewish version ,do you have to take yourself to dinner first and then make yourself feel guilty after" and does the Islamic version just cut off one hand or two?

    Wouldn't the Islamic one be straight beheading version? I'm just saying... :-B
  • marilor
    marilor St Etienne, France Posts: 618
    Hilarious thread but...wtf !!! it's hard to imagine...so absurd !
    "We were but stones, ...Your light made us stars"
  • rgambs
    rgambs Posts: 13,576
    The founder of Boy Scouts, Baden Powell, was obsessed with stopping masturbation. He proposed rubbing ones wrists together to fight the urge, so in camp skits or speeches to gathered scouts those of us "in the know" would do it on stage while we spoke or sang, to ridicule such a ludicrous idea.
    Monkey Driven, Call this Living?
  • badbrains
    badbrains Posts: 10,255
    hedonist said:

    Wait...why is the kid's HEAD strapped down?

    I think that's the catholic version right there.......too soon? >:)
  • rr165892
    rr165892 Posts: 5,697
    badbrains said:

    hedonist said:

    Wait...why is the kid's HEAD strapped down?

    I think that's the catholic version right there.......too soon? >:)
    No,let it flow BB
  • badbrains
    badbrains Posts: 10,255
    rr165892 said:

    badbrains said:

    hedonist said:

    Wait...why is the kid's HEAD strapped down?

    I think that's the catholic version right there.......too soon? >:)
    No,let it flow BB
    I often do B-)
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    that's it? that's all they got? shit, that woulda been a mere hindrance back when i was +5
  • rr165892
    rr165892 Posts: 5,697
    PJ_Soul said:

    Holy shit. :))
    I checked out stopmasturbationnow.org. Here's a little tidbit:

    "The Real Goal of Masturbation

    The goal of masturbation is to achieve climax alone by stimulating one’s genitals in a combination of one of the following self-rape methods:

    1.) Fantasizing about another person or person(s) – In doing this you are mentally raping that person. You have no right to be thinking those thoughts. Even if you are married and your spouse has given you permission in the past does not mean that you still have permission, just as how one-time consent does not mean permanent consent in a physical relation.

    2.) Looking at dirty Magazines - You are mentally raping the person that you are looking at. Liberals might argue that person gave consent when doing the picture shoot, but you do not know that for sure. The person may even be married now or have grown ugly.

    3.) Watching dirty Movies – As with number one or two, you might as well be Ted Bundy, illegally having your way with the peoples you are exploiting for your own sickening gratification.

    4.) The World Wideweb – The Internets are full of filth. Computers should be for taxes, online Bible studies, or logging on to the STOP Masturbation NOW netsite.

    5.) Past Experiences – Sure, that “three way” you had with the cheerleader and her sorority sister in college might have been a “good time”, however, recalling the sinful pleasure they presented you all night is the same as repeating that sin all over again.

    Bonus Faithfact – Some females and gay males use foreign objects and dinguses when masturbating. In doing so they are raping the raw materials of this world."



    Based on #1 thru 3 of the above list Id like to apologize to Ms.Pittman my 7th grade history teacher who only wore mini skirts to class.All three Charlie's Angels,The Tampa Bay buccaneers Cheerleaders,Vanessa Williams ,The adult film industry,All the hot girls I went to school with and my boyhood friend Tommy's mother and my lovely wife. More apologies needed,not enough time
    Thank you
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,674
    hedonist said:

    Wait...why is the kid's HEAD strapped down?

    In theory, the head strap is adjusted tightly so as to cut off all erotic thoughts from the frontal lobes. Silly people, don't they know the part of the brain that controls sexuality is the amygdala? :-D

    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Well, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a fron...

    Oh never mind :D
  • kce8
    kce8 Posts: 1,636
    Well, it seems like we are living in a modern world now - it´s not enough anymore to tell your kids they will be hit by a thunderbolt if they do such dirty things... :-t
    The frightening thing is there will always be distracted, inhibited human beings who will enforce their own psycologically disturbed natures on poor kids!
    (I was first laughing on page 1 but then you know - this is just crazy...) :(
  • jeffbr
    jeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    Haha, fear not! It is a parody site. My jaw dropped the first time I saw this come across a friend's newsfeed on Facebook. But he isn't at all religious, so I had to see what was up. Had me cracking up for a while. Anyway check this out:
    http://www.dailydot.com/lifestyle/anti-masturbation-cross-twitter/
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08

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