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When guests stay with you.......

buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
edited April 2014 in All Encompassing Trip
How do you feel when guests stay at your house for an extended amount of time and are not thankful? (Specifically, relatives.)
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  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    Thankfully I havent been in this position, but I can imagine that it sucks. Send them a bill! :)
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  • WobbieWobbie Posts: 30,159
    relatives are the WORST! :-j
    If I had known then what I know now...

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  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    Here is the kicker, they owe me money for a hotel room we booked for them.....just too funny. :)]
  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    I guess I should explain the whole story, no?
  • The Waiting Trophy ManThe Waiting Trophy Man Posts: 12,158
    Put something in their food that will give them the shits.
    Another habit says it's in love with you
    Another habit says its long overdue
    Another habit like an unwanted friend
    I'm so happy with my righteous self
  • Jason PJason P Posts: 19,138
    Just walk around in your underwear and pick your nose alot.
  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    Jason P said:

    Just walk around in your underwear and pick your nose alot.

    This is a given
  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    The Waiting Trophy Man said:

    Put something in their food that will give them the shits.

    Clever
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    buck502000 said:

    I guess I should explain the whole story, no?

    Yes.

    Are they your own relatives or your in-laws of some sort?

    Sleeping arrangements? Are they independent? How long staying?

    (I am so thankful that our 700 sf condo can't accommodate guests. Get a motel for the love of Pete :D )
  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    edited April 2014
    We moved from Michigan to Ireland about a year ago. My wife's sister, her husband and two boys, aged 5 and 8 paid us a visit from the Americas last week. Let me preface my story by saying, my wives two sisters have always annoyed me to begin with. Anyway, a couple of months ago, said sister calls saying she booked airline tickets to "visit". Gripe #1 Great, we now have to stay local for spring break when my family and I could be exploring various unbeknownst regions, instead. Gripe #2 They did not ask or were not formally invited. It probably would have been a formality, but still it's my families time and money being spent. Gripe #3 They said they rent a van for us all to travel in. (That didn't happen once they saw the cost involved.) Gripe #4 Bad planning. My wife had to leave work to pick them up from the airport. They missed their connecting flight due to incompetence when booking the flights, causing my wife to miss two hours of work. Gripe #5 They did not have anything planned for activities when they were visiting. My wife had to spend hours coordinating the trip for them. Gripe #6 We booked two hotel rooms on our credit card. We paid for them too. They will pay us will US dollars when my mother-in-law visits in May. Yeah!!!! Gripe #7 They were just not very thankful. My family made several trips to the store for supplies and they never offered to pay for anything. Cheap!!!! Free room and board. I felt like a bed and breakfast. Jeez. Maybe I am just a jerk. I don't know. They finally left yesterday!!!!!!! :D
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    Holy hell, that's a shitload of gripes! But totally valid ones, to me.

    You're far from a jerk but next time, put that foot down and let no one take advantage!

    (and at least you're guest-free now)

    My husband and I hope to visit Ireland someday - if we do, we'll give you a ring for accommodations and activities ;)
  • jlaustinjlaustin Posts: 2,355
    Families, especially in-laws, are often the worst! No one will stay with us unless invited. Hard to disinvite those that just assume. Your gripes are completely valid! Sorry to hear you had a sucky break. Be grateful they are finally gone. You are a trooper for enduring all of that. I would have made my hubby get rid of them!

    I, too, am from Michigan, so I'm sure we are welcome, right! We'll make sure we come at a different time that hedonist! :-h ;;)
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  • AnnafalkAnnafalk Posts: 4,004
    edited April 2014
    Can I come next week? ..sorry
    It's not a nice feeling when people take you for granted and don't show respect.

    When it's not your relatives it feels like it should be your wife who would fix this situation.
    Post edited by Annafalk on
  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    Thanks for listening everyone.
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    i see nothing wrong here other than no one got into a fist fight out in the ditch
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    edited April 2014
    no reason to fight, just really f*cking annoyed........
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    fighting is nice. it solves things or not mostly it lets out anger & frustrations. blood feels good as does arguing & tearing a house apart
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,948
    buck502000 said:

    How do you feel when guests stay at your house for an extended amount of time and are not thankful? (Specifically, relatives.)

    That would piss me off. Wouldn't welcome them a second time, and depending on what "extended" means, might tell them that their time is up and they have to find another place to stay.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • GivenToLukinKPGivenToLukinKP Posts: 3,076
    edited April 2014
    I think that while staying in another person's home more than just overnight, you are obligated to do a minimum of 1 of the following:

    Clean up more than just after yourself
    Cook a meal (not some bullshit out of a can- a real meal)
    Take the whole host family out to dinner and pay for it
    Offer to chip in towards groceries/supplies

    Post edited by GivenToLukinKP on
    Makes much more sense...

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  • GivenToLukinKPGivenToLukinKP Posts: 3,076
    OH- and send a "thank you' note or gift after the fact!
    Makes much more sense...

    2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
    2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
    2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
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    2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
  • GivenToLukinKPGivenToLukinKP Posts: 3,076
    buck502000 said:

    The Waiting Trophy Man said:

    Put something in their food that will give them the shits.

    Clever

    ....until you realize they will be doing it in YOUR bathroom!
    Makes much more sense...

    2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
    2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
    2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
    2014: Cincinnati, OH; St. Louis, MO; Moline, IL; Milwaukee, WI
    2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
  • oysterjaroysterjar Posts: 1,235
    edited April 2014
    My family is scattered across the U.S. and we see each other rarely. Gripe #1 happens more in a WTF are we going to do now. If we had plans then they can cancel or crash at our house but I'm not giving into poor communication or others just assuming that they can come when they please and change my plans.

    But it is certainly assumed, and it better fucking happen, that they take care of some shit around the house and/or make dinner and/or pay for something in return for they stay, and it has always worked out. If not bloody ditch fights will happen.

    I have to admit though if I had family somewhere cool I would be asking when I could stop by, but I would certainly ask first.
    Wind this thing up.

  • SD48277SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    oysterjar said:

    My family is scattered across the U.S. and we see each other rarely. Gripe #1 happens more in a WTF are we going to do now. If we had plans then they can cancel or crash at our house but I'm not giving into poor communication or others just assuming that they can come when they please and change my plans.

    But it is certainly assumed, and it better fucking happen, that they take care of some shit around the house and/or make dinner and/or pay for something in return for they stay, and it has always worked out. If not bloody ditch fights will happen.

    I have to admit though if I had family somewhere cool I would be asking when I could stop by, but I would certainly ask first.

    ^^^^ This. You might want to think about getting rid of any spare beds you have; I've found that that cuts down on people inviting themselves to stay.
    ELITIST FUK
  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    I wanted to goto Germany or Italy.......not Dublin again.
  • youngsteryoungster Posts: 6,576
    I feel you're pain. I have a mother in law that lives halfway across the country. When I was dating her daughter (now my wife) she invited herself to come with her daughter to visit me when I lived in Florida. I was living with friends in a 3 BR apartment and got the OK from them for both of them to stay. When we go to pick them up at the airport, turns out she invited HER boyfriend to come too. I was fucking livid. Still upsets me to this day. About 5 years ago when my son was born we thought it would be a good idea to have her come to watch him while my wife and I went on vacation. She asked if her BF could come and I immediately said no. It was supposed to be so she could spend some QT with her grandson and she said if her BF couldn't come then neither would she. My son was secondary to her boyfriend. Needless to say I don't get along with her at all but at least she doesn't come to visit anymore. To sum it up.......yes, relatives are very difficult. I feel like I would have better luck having a stranger stay with us. OP: you are not in the wrong at all feeling slighted. Hope you get the $$ back for the hotel rooms.
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

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  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    @ youngster - What tactics did you use to scare her away? :))
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    oysterjar said:

    My family is scattered across the U.S. and we see each other rarely. Gripe #1 happens more in a WTF are we going to do now. If we had plans then they can cancel or crash at our house but I'm not giving into poor communication or others just assuming that they can come when they please and change my plans.

    But it is certainly assumed, and it better fucking happen, that they take care of some shit around the house and/or make dinner and/or pay for something in return for they stay, and it has always worked out. If not bloody ditch fights will happen.

    I have to admit though if I had family somewhere cool I would be asking when I could stop by, but I would certainly ask first.

    communication skills, respect & integrity
    pretty simple shit

    bloody ditch fighting... the best & it doesn't even have to be about anything other than fun, laughs & stupid shit. this is how it is when growing up with brothers. fighting is good times even when pretty gnarly & hospital visits play their role

    we also communicate, respect is given & earned & integrity is alive & well
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • youngsteryoungster Posts: 6,576
    buck502000 said:

    @ youngster - What tactics did you use to scare her away? :))

    We've just never really been civil so I don't sugarcoat things with her. I also am not overly nice in her company. I'm pretty sure she knows how much I dislike her. She is a very selfish woman and I have made comments regarding her selfishness. She's the type who thinks she should be waited on hand and foot. Even when my wife goes to visit her, her mother never offers to help her with the kids and she expects my wife to cook and clean for her. I refuse to be in her company because I would snap if I saw her do that. So I just say I don't want her at my house. She comes to visit and stays with her sister a few towns away. I'm of the opinion if I let her stay once, she'll think she can come and visit whenever she wants.
    He who forgets will be destined to remember.

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    5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
    8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
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  • buck502000buck502000 Posts: 8,951
    cold blooded
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,948
    buck502000 said:

    cold blooded

    :-/
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
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