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St. Paul 14, Denver 14
We moved from Michigan to Ireland about a year ago. My wife's sister, her husband and two boys, aged 5 and 8 paid us a visit from the Americas last week. Let me preface my story by saying, my wives two sisters have always annoyed me to begin with. Anyway, a couple of months ago, said sister calls saying she booked airline tickets to "visit". Gripe #1 Great, we now have to stay local for spring break when my family and I could be exploring various unbeknownst regions, instead. Gripe #2 They did not ask or were not formally invited. It probably would have been a formality, but still it's my families time and money being spent. Gripe #3 They said they rent a van for us all to travel in. (That didn't happen once they saw the cost involved.) Gripe #4 Bad planning. My wife had to leave work to pick them up from the airport. They missed their connecting flight due to incompetence when booking the flights, causing my wife to miss two hours of work. Gripe #5 They did not have anything planned for activities when they were visiting. My wife had to spend hours coordinating the trip for them. Gripe #6 We booked two hotel rooms on our credit card. We paid for them too. They will pay us will US dollars when my mother-in-law visits in May. Yeah!!!! Gripe #7 They were just not very thankful. My family made several trips to the store for supplies and they never offered to pay for anything. Cheap!!!! Free room and board. I felt like a bed and breakfast. Jeez. Maybe I am just a jerk. I don't know. They finally left yesterday!!!!!!!
Families, especially in-laws, are often the worst! No one will stay with us unless invited. Hard to disinvite those that just assume. Your gripes are completely valid! Sorry to hear you had a sucky break. Be grateful they are finally gone. You are a trooper for enduring all of that. I would have made my hubby get rid of them!
I, too, am from Michigan, so I'm sure we are welcome, right! We'll make sure we come at a different time that hedonist! :-h ;;)
2013 Wrigley, Pittsburgh, Buffalo
2014 Cincy, Detroit, Moline, & Milwaukee
2015 Central Park
2016 Lexington, Ottawa, Toronto 1 & 2, Boston 1 & 2, Chicago 1 & 2 2017 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony 2018 Seattle 1 & 2, Missoula, Chicago 1
How do you feel when guests stay at your house for an extended amount of time and are not thankful? (Specifically, relatives.)
That would piss me off. Wouldn't welcome them a second time, and depending on what "extended" means, might tell them that their time is up and they have to find another place to stay.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I think that while staying in another person's home more than just overnight, you are obligated to do a minimum of 1 of the following:
Clean up more than just after yourself Cook a meal (not some bullshit out of a can- a real meal) Take the whole host family out to dinner and pay for it Offer to chip in towards groceries/supplies
Post edited by GivenToLukinKP on
Makes much more sense...
2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
2014: Cincinnati, OH; St. Louis, MO; Moline, IL; Milwaukee, WI 2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
OH- and send a "thank you' note or gift after the fact!
Makes much more sense...
2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
2014: Cincinnati, OH; St. Louis, MO; Moline, IL; Milwaukee, WI 2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
Put something in their food that will give them the shits.
Clever
....until you realize they will be doing it in YOUR bathroom!
Makes much more sense...
2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
2014: Cincinnati, OH; St. Louis, MO; Moline, IL; Milwaukee, WI 2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
My family is scattered across the U.S. and we see each other rarely. Gripe #1 happens more in a WTF are we going to do now. If we had plans then they can cancel or crash at our house but I'm not giving into poor communication or others just assuming that they can come when they please and change my plans.
But it is certainly assumed, and it better fucking happen, that they take care of some shit around the house and/or make dinner and/or pay for something in return for they stay, and it has always worked out. If not bloody ditch fights will happen.
I have to admit though if I had family somewhere cool I would be asking when I could stop by, but I would certainly ask first.
My family is scattered across the U.S. and we see each other rarely. Gripe #1 happens more in a WTF are we going to do now. If we had plans then they can cancel or crash at our house but I'm not giving into poor communication or others just assuming that they can come when they please and change my plans.
But it is certainly assumed, and it better fucking happen, that they take care of some shit around the house and/or make dinner and/or pay for something in return for they stay, and it has always worked out. If not bloody ditch fights will happen.
I have to admit though if I had family somewhere cool I would be asking when I could stop by, but I would certainly ask first.
^^^^ This. You might want to think about getting rid of any spare beds you have; I've found that that cuts down on people inviting themselves to stay.
I feel you're pain. I have a mother in law that lives halfway across the country. When I was dating her daughter (now my wife) she invited herself to come with her daughter to visit me when I lived in Florida. I was living with friends in a 3 BR apartment and got the OK from them for both of them to stay. When we go to pick them up at the airport, turns out she invited HER boyfriend to come too. I was fucking livid. Still upsets me to this day. About 5 years ago when my son was born we thought it would be a good idea to have her come to watch him while my wife and I went on vacation. She asked if her BF could come and I immediately said no. It was supposed to be so she could spend some QT with her grandson and she said if her BF couldn't come then neither would she. My son was secondary to her boyfriend. Needless to say I don't get along with her at all but at least she doesn't come to visit anymore. To sum it up.......yes, relatives are very difficult. I feel like I would have better luck having a stranger stay with us. OP: you are not in the wrong at all feeling slighted. Hope you get the $$ back for the hotel rooms.
My family is scattered across the U.S. and we see each other rarely. Gripe #1 happens more in a WTF are we going to do now. If we had plans then they can cancel or crash at our house but I'm not giving into poor communication or others just assuming that they can come when they please and change my plans.
But it is certainly assumed, and it better fucking happen, that they take care of some shit around the house and/or make dinner and/or pay for something in return for they stay, and it has always worked out. If not bloody ditch fights will happen.
I have to admit though if I had family somewhere cool I would be asking when I could stop by, but I would certainly ask first.
communication skills, respect & integrity pretty simple shit
bloody ditch fighting... the best & it doesn't even have to be about anything other than fun, laughs & stupid shit. this is how it is when growing up with brothers. fighting is good times even when pretty gnarly & hospital visits play their role
we also communicate, respect is given & earned & integrity is alive & well
@ youngster - What tactics did you use to scare her away? )
We've just never really been civil so I don't sugarcoat things with her. I also am not overly nice in her company. I'm pretty sure she knows how much I dislike her. She is a very selfish woman and I have made comments regarding her selfishness. She's the type who thinks she should be waited on hand and foot. Even when my wife goes to visit her, her mother never offers to help her with the kids and she expects my wife to cook and clean for her. I refuse to be in her company because I would snap if I saw her do that. So I just say I don't want her at my house. She comes to visit and stays with her sister a few towns away. I'm of the opinion if I let her stay once, she'll think she can come and visit whenever she wants.
buck502000
Posts: 8,951
Comments
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
Are they your own relatives or your in-laws of some sort?
Sleeping arrangements? Are they independent? How long staying?
(I am so thankful that our 700 sf condo can't accommodate guests. Get a motel for the love of Pete
You're far from a jerk but next time, put that foot down and let no one take advantage!
(and at least you're guest-free now)
My husband and I hope to visit Ireland someday - if we do, we'll give you a ring for accommodations and activities
I, too, am from Michigan, so I'm sure we are welcome, right! We'll make sure we come at a different time that hedonist! :-h ;;)
2014 Cincy, Detroit, Moline, & Milwaukee
2015 Central Park
2016 Lexington, Ottawa, Toronto 1 & 2, Boston 1 & 2, Chicago 1 & 2
2017 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony
2018 Seattle 1 & 2, Missoula, Chicago 1
It's not a nice feeling when people take you for granted and don't show respect.
When it's not your relatives it feels like it should be your wife who would fix this situation.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Clean up more than just after yourself
Cook a meal (not some bullshit out of a can- a real meal)
Take the whole host family out to dinner and pay for it
Offer to chip in towards groceries/supplies
2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
2014: Cincinnati, OH; St. Louis, MO; Moline, IL; Milwaukee, WI
2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
2014: Cincinnati, OH; St. Louis, MO; Moline, IL; Milwaukee, WI
2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
....until you realize they will be doing it in YOUR bathroom!
2011: East Troy, WI 1 & 2; Toronto ON 1 & 2; Hamilton ON
2012: Berlin, Germany 1& 2; Stockholm Sweden; Oslo Norway; Copenhagen Denmark
2013: Wrigley Field- Chicago, IL; Philadelphia, PA 1 & 2; Hartford, CT; Vancouver BC; Seattle, WA.
2014: Cincinnati, OH; St. Louis, MO; Moline, IL; Milwaukee, WI
2016: Wrigley Field- Chicago 1&2
But it is certainly assumed, and it better fucking happen, that they take care of some shit around the house and/or make dinner and/or pay for something in return for they stay, and it has always worked out. If not bloody ditch fights will happen.
I have to admit though if I had family somewhere cool I would be asking when I could stop by, but I would certainly ask first.
Wind this thing up.
9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
pretty simple shit
bloody ditch fighting... the best & it doesn't even have to be about anything other than fun, laughs & stupid shit. this is how it is when growing up with brothers. fighting is good times even when pretty gnarly & hospital visits play their role
we also communicate, respect is given & earned & integrity is alive & well
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,