my question - where to get energy & stop pain
chadwick
Posts: 21,157
months now i can't sleep a full night through. the first 1/3 of the night i generally crash nicely. then i wake up & toss & turn into the very early morning hours, then i generally crash out again around 4am till 6ish.
part of this is coming off yet another pain medication. back in march i started coming off percocets & methadone. that was terrible for quite awhile. then my general dr. gave me tramadol to help w/ my painful self. i couldn't sleep unless i took the tramadol. like the heavy duty opiates, i would kick & jerk involutarily while lying in bed flopping like a fish oughta water. i'm still flopping around quite a bit but the kicking & aching limbs have pretty much stopped.
then my psychiatrist gave me suboxone which with the tramadol withdrawls made me sick as shit for 10 days as if i had solid vertigo none stop. i am thinking of trying the suboxone again one last try.
my general dr. thought i should try trazadone for sleep. that made me sick & i probably did it wrong as i ate 4 pills at 150mg each, but 2 hours apart & two at a time. which the doc said, "300-600mg. try 300mg first & if that doesn't work, next month we'll do 600mg." i was so hung over the next morning i felt like poop.
by 6 or 7 oclock im ready for bed. this stinks. but it's fucking cold & i'm in for the night & i'm probably bored as well.
to be honest, i am haunted by these fucking pills; i want my opiates back so that i can function like a normal person would function. i think of opiates all day long & i am amazed i am doing as well as i am.
i also fucked up a bit in recent times. i drank wine & got pretty nicely buzzed. i done that a couple times & more recently (2 wks ago) i drank a good 6-8 beers & a glass of wine & was on a couple pills or 4.
i am supposed to be swimming today & i just can't mustar the energy to do it & this alone drives me batshit crazy. maybe this thread belongs in the AA or whatever thread it is.
i am confident the drinking only those few times is messing with me as i am craving everything so much more now. every single day i am craving something or another. it is wearing me out as if i'm not worn out enough already
part of this is coming off yet another pain medication. back in march i started coming off percocets & methadone. that was terrible for quite awhile. then my general dr. gave me tramadol to help w/ my painful self. i couldn't sleep unless i took the tramadol. like the heavy duty opiates, i would kick & jerk involutarily while lying in bed flopping like a fish oughta water. i'm still flopping around quite a bit but the kicking & aching limbs have pretty much stopped.
then my psychiatrist gave me suboxone which with the tramadol withdrawls made me sick as shit for 10 days as if i had solid vertigo none stop. i am thinking of trying the suboxone again one last try.
my general dr. thought i should try trazadone for sleep. that made me sick & i probably did it wrong as i ate 4 pills at 150mg each, but 2 hours apart & two at a time. which the doc said, "300-600mg. try 300mg first & if that doesn't work, next month we'll do 600mg." i was so hung over the next morning i felt like poop.
by 6 or 7 oclock im ready for bed. this stinks. but it's fucking cold & i'm in for the night & i'm probably bored as well.
to be honest, i am haunted by these fucking pills; i want my opiates back so that i can function like a normal person would function. i think of opiates all day long & i am amazed i am doing as well as i am.
i also fucked up a bit in recent times. i drank wine & got pretty nicely buzzed. i done that a couple times & more recently (2 wks ago) i drank a good 6-8 beers & a glass of wine & was on a couple pills or 4.
i am supposed to be swimming today & i just can't mustar the energy to do it & this alone drives me batshit crazy. maybe this thread belongs in the AA or whatever thread it is.
i am confident the drinking only those few times is messing with me as i am craving everything so much more now. every single day i am craving something or another. it is wearing me out as if i'm not worn out enough already
for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
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fuck off
i feel like hiding in a hole w/ my spinach. problem is i have already been hammering the chocolate covered peanuts & pretzles like a wild man would. fucking piss me off.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Life can be so beautiful one minute and totally banged in the stinker the next.
I do not have experience with any of that stuff - I am just your ordinary weekend abuser - but I think it is admirable that you keep trying different things. Stay with it brother. One thing we all have experience doing is busting through obstacles....you will be back swimming soon enough.
1. to broke to afford opiates off the street
2. if i were wealthy i'd probably be buy heroin
3. thankfully i'm broke all the time
4. i refuse to start selling drugs again
so i'm actually doing pretty ok i think as it could be so much worse & made worse at my own hand
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
You're an alcoholic and you havn't had a drink in many years, and you started drinking wine, beer and drugs ?
no wonder you feel so horrible.... I'm no expert but you're back to square one again. Clean up, stop drinking and talk to your doctor about those pain pills. All pills have certain side effects, your pain pills may give you insomnia or make you feel lethargic with no energy.
I'm pretty sure your drinking has started some cravings again. ( like a kid in a candy store ). It takes alot of will power for you to stop eating all that surgery holiday chocolates and to stay away from drinking. Go back to AA if you need to.
I wish there was a magic pill to give you energy - I suffer from lack of energy due to my severe anemia and believe me there is NO magic energy pills. Just eat healthy, exercise and try to sleep the best you can.
Good luck.
I would try to use as few medications as possible and I am very afraid of drugs I don't believe they help in a long term..
Go to bed early and eat healthy food. When you wake up at night think positive thoughts, maybe drink something warm and then go to bed again..hope you feel better soon..take care
Obviously stay away from the booze. That sounds like the most dangerous and worrying part of your story if you're an alcoholic. As for the pain killers... well, no advice there. That's a really tough situation if you are still in pain. Have you considered going to rehab?? Maybe a couple months in a much more disciplined environment could help ypu at this point, before you slip over the edge. They have docs who know how to handle addicts with pain. Of course, these places are expensive...
Other than that, all i can suggest is a lot more exercise. Like, put on the mp3 player every day and really exercise until it's uncomfortable. Really get to where you're sucking wind, slow down until you're breathing okay, and then do it again and again. Your goal should be to feel sore from exercise every day. Doin that will probably really help your sleeping probs. I know it doesn't exactly sound fun, but getting your sleep schedule right is a pretty fucking massive reward.
I will support whatever decision you make Chad. May disagree with it and tell you so, but I dont live your life.I'm here, we're all here, to help you the best we can through a computer screen.
I do commend you for trying to lessen the usage. That shit cant be good for your liver.
And the booze? :fp: Cmon man. :nono: Just smoke your dope.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Keep updated about how it goes. I hope things will get better.
How is Christmas related to chocolate, by the way? Isn't it Jesus' birthday? Did he like chocolate or something? Was there chocolate at that time?
Am I derailing this thread? SHould I type this in AMT? Will I be bashed out if I do?
As you see, we all live confused lives.
2012: Arras, Berlin 1-2
2013: Sao Paulo, Buenos Aires
2014: Milano, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin
2016: NY MSG 1
i see several doctors including a head doctor. i need the head doctor now more than ever. he's a smart man from the philippines. i believe all my doctors are wonderful, caring, smart folks. i am the asshole in the mix they are trying to iron out as it is all on my shoulders which is fine, i can handle the bullshit. it's just some days are very difficult moreso than the day previously.
the drinking is very much under control at the moment but holy smokes does the craving of liquor hammer at my skull. "whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey whiskey...maybe beer chasers w/ my shots" add that to the opiate dependency i struggle with daily all day. i am a addict in every sence of the word. i knew i shouldn't drink not even one glass of wine all those months ago.
then again, wine, several wines... then no drinking a couple months or many weeks, whatever it was... now the beer really was tasty. that was the first time i had beer in something like 7 years. see, when i drank i hit the hard stuff quick, you know, slam a water glass of whiskey or something to get it on quickly.
i will not drink & this is a fact as i am sad & feel like i let others down who have faith in me. that there hurts worse than anything else. letting my loved ones down, even you good people here, letting you down is no good.
i just got home from swimming 60 minutes worth of laps at the pool. so see? i feel better about things & my body feels good despite my head to toe injuries throughout my hard life.
i also just took a suboxone strip up under the tongue about 45 minutes ago & i am feeling decent i think. i'll know if it helps when the opiate craving are subsided even just a bit & they say suboxone is a bit of a pain reliever...
again, i feel horrible for having alcohol these last few months. & it wasn't even that much really but just enough to jump start my addictive nature
mickeyrat, your words made me teary eyed. love you, man. thank you for being a pal. they really aren't into giving out knee replacements to young folks & im a big frickin dude & that scares them as well. so why do football players get new knees when needed & poor young people get opiates until the hospital shut that concept completely down. many are suffering, i am not alone over here.
i tried a pain clinic & that dr. is a complete bastard of a guy. fuck that.
pj_soul... i have done a lot of physical theropy with physical theropists at 2 week intervals. i learned the stuff & do a lot of it now on my own. mostly i swim laps, do other aquatic exercises, walk & sometimes lift dumbells before bed. i may not walk daily depending on level of pain that day or my mood. i enjoy walking in a snow storm & rain. i will shovel snow as well which feels wonderful despite my back acting up.
jumbojet... you aren't derailing anything. thank you for the question & nice words.
americans & the holidays... idiots we are, well, a lot of us. the holidays & any festive time of the year or any celebrations at all & we like to feed out mugs with bullshit. christmas time.....wait
from thanksgiving ---thru christmas & the new year's eve & new years day... it can get pretty ridiculous as kitchens are fired up & families & friends are enjoy each other's company (or not) depending on how much alcohol was drank, family bullshit ya know.
christmas cookies
fudge
chocolate covered peanuts/pretzles
ham
turkey
all the side dishes
this goes on for about 4 or 5 weeks. sure, not at all is every meal large & not every meal or snack is candy & cookies.
i've just felt out of order, out of control & as usual suffering with the pain i live with
screw it... today has been a good day. i swam nicely & you wonderful people here give me an outlet to get stuff off my chest. i could call my psychiatrist though actually but i'd rather bother you people with my bullshit.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Have you thought of hypnotheraphy? I know it works for cigarette smoking, I wonder if it helps for the rest. Alternative therapy? Ever try meditation? It's hard to start out, but it really does help center yourself when you need it. I learned how to give reiki; that's pretty wild and works as well.
Obviously, chadwick, you shouldn't be on a lot of meds--that isn't the goal for anybody. Currently as a person taking four different prescriptions a day, I know what a bitch it is to be dependent on meds in the first place. It seems all doctors want to do is throw more meds or higher doses at you and not really solve the problem.
When I can't sleep, I find that soaking in the tub with epsolm salt or just regular soap can relax me enough to finally get to sleep. However, don't take any meds within a couple hours before or during the soak because you might end up like Whitney Houston or Elvis Prestley-- and that would not be cool.
I hope everything gets better for you, dude. Merry Christmas.
the psychiatrist wants me to get acupuncture, that's about as alternative as it goes so far. yep i meditate some & should do it more often. reiki healing would be a nice massage for sure. you are right, i bust my ass to be good & healthy. lately my mind is struggling craving those darn opiates. it seems to be some kind of fantasy & goal of mine... as in, fly to southeast asia or somewhere, climb thru the forests & mountains, find the buddhist extreme folks, use opium & hash w/ the good people over there & stay blasted meditating alongside the tigris river or something & writing poetry
this is a deep rooted problem for countless people through the ages. but it would be so wonderful to be somewhere in india or somewhere else in asia ...... never mind. :twisted:
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
is your knee totally shot? if they won't give you a total knee replacement, why not a less invasive procedure?
You seem like a genuinely good guy and I seriously wish you the best of luck. I have no real advice other than wanting you to know that I wish you the best.. I see the effects of opiates every day. My mother in law has chronic pain from nerve damage caused by 3 spine surgeries and needs them to live a mildly normal life., although I am sure she couldn't stop even if she didn't need them at this point. Her son on the other hand graduated from percs to heroin a long time ago, like so many others these days.
I don't know you, but from everything you write, it seems like you have a pretty good take on life in general. Addiction is a motherfucker. Seems like you aren't letting it get the best of you. Stay strong.
Good luck, brother.
i get the knees aspirated & injected w/ cordizone every 90 days but i am currently holding out as im tired of being filled up with steroids & things. left shoulder & both knees... injections. the right shoulder could use it. swimming hurts shoulders & necks, well, at least mine it does as i have arthritic knees & shoulders.
one hospital wanted to burn nerves in my knees. we did a trial run where they numbed nerves. i thought, wow, cool. then thought it was a bad idea because i like knowing if i have further damaged my knees, i kinda wanna know they are there. burning nerves gives relief for roughly one year. this hospital also does not believe in opiates & if they do, i am not the patient w/ cancer or whatever that really could use something
cliffy6745, dude thank you. those are kind words.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
I don't really know what to say, you've given me great advice and would like to repay you.
Try natural sleep tablets, I use Valerian/Magnesium containing sleep tablets which work for me.
Try using less medication as it ain't good for the liver and keep swimming if it helps.
What caused all your ailments if you don't mind me asking?
The thing about acupuncture is that you should try it, but in no way, judge it from one time. For it to work effectively, you have to get it at least a few times or more. I've gotten it done, it helped with some issues but not with others (my body's a wreck). Good luck!
The thing about the Buddhists - they don't just smoke the opium you're looking for - they live a very disciplined life of meditation. It works!!
And yes, Chadwick is a good dude. No surprise there!
Nothing but goodwill from here.
Every try yoga?
I had tremendous problems with my back...then I tried yoga. I dont think it would be good for (or easy) on a knee problem like you have, but you may try some easier routines. Also, during an hour long class, there are several pose sI cannot do because of my back injury, but I just skip 'em and zone out, then try the next pose if I can.
I tried yoga with three separate teachers, and only one of them holds my interest. She is from India and at the end of the hour session, she puts on some cool meditative Indian music and I go to another place. I've never been so relaxed immediately after having my body do such weird shit. Sometimes during mediation parts, I lay there thinking about being ripped apart by a shark and I feel relaxed..very strange irony, but something you might appreciate.
yeah, that kind of treatment just seems to relieve the inflammation and is only temporary. have they diagnosed the injuries? i was referring to some type of surgery to actually try fix the problem. http://www.symptomfind.com/procedures-t ... e-surgery/
i know someone who just had surgery for a damaged meniscus this past thursday and is already walking around and says it's a little sore at the three little incision sites but most of the pain is gone.
i have two herniated discs in my neck and two in my lower back. my docs prescribed vicodin and darvocet, but i decided to go for physical therapy instead. the PT told me that i needed to build the muscles surrounding the discs to support them (if that makes sense) ...and it worked! if i sit around a lot my back and neck start hurting, and along with neck pain comes shoulder pain, arm pain, headaches and depression. if i keep moving i am fine. the more i move around and exercise the more energy and motivation i have too.
bone on bone in the knees
arthitis in the knees & shoulders
cavities starting in the knees
cartilage saying bye-bye
today i woke up w/ wonderful energy. i packed my swim bag, ate a bagel, banana & orange & was out the door for a good morning swim. i slept pretty decent lastnight. suboxone strips may be the trick to ease a guy away from the haunting opiate cravings & allow for good deep sleep. i felt slightly hungover like this morning but it was no big deal. i also did not eat another suboxone strip until after my swim & christmas shopping. i'm allowed three suboxone daily but one or two may be all i'll need.
price a monthly prescription of suboxone if you want a heart attack real quick. thankfully i have prescription drug insurance. another thing about suboxone... i believe only a psychiatrist can prescribe it, they can only have a low number of patients on the suboxone & each prescription is coded to the patient to stop folks selling the stuff; get caught & it's on.
polaris_x
i have to take hypertension meds
i take a heart pill that allows the heart to work slower
cholesterol pill before bed & cannot eat grapefruit (this is not something i find wonderful as i enjoy my grapefruit breakfasts... well, i used too enjoy them)
a water pill to pee my brains out... helps lower the blood pressure
the psychiatrist gave me cymbalta... nope, aint taking it, doc, my manhood quit working on me. cymbalta can be used as a pain reliever & treats depression. would you like a few cymbalta?
see these fucking assholes (doctors) wanna pill a guy up. i may get bummed out or sad sometimes but i sure as shit am not depressed. im pretty gosh darn thrilled to be alive & i'm ready to rock most days.
johnny pistachio,
yoga kicks ass. i will look into some poses & routines. i'll start with the internet & ask around. as a matter of fact mom used to do yoga when us boys were younger. thank you
thank you everyone, badbrains, hedonist, thoughts arrive, holy toledo, kiss my grits & 82
backseatlover12... yes those buddhists live a very disciplined existence. i could only be a fraction as disciplined & awesome. nonetheless, i been fantasizing about opium & hashish & whatnot for decades. it's just the last few years it has been a bit much
http://youtu.be/60om8BUmuiI
go to 2:00 if you like
http://youtu.be/bDDPTP1uHDg
chillum...
http://youtu.be/_RYtxflGQ_8
i don't have a youtube account so certain videos are now out of reach.
these videos were accessable last year but now aren't. "babas smoking chillum" & "babas smoking second chillum"
wonderful couple of videos
it is not a terrible thing to smoke your hashish or opium or whatever type of smoke one may have & meditate deeply getting in touch w/ one's innerness, others, this planet & the universe in which we are balanced in.
i tell my psychiatrist & his staff it is my life's goal to go to asia somewhere & meditate under a tree next to a river with some very special folks as we toke on the chillum. i will then be open & learn
i type/talk to much.
enjoy the day, everyone
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
this is why i am doing what i am doing.
exercising, eating right & physical therapy on my own or with therapists. i am preparing for the inevitable. im a big hairy viking ass caveman. they want me to be a small hairy viking ass caveman. new knees work best on less weight pressure.
swim swim swim swim swim swim swim & spinach & fruit
swim swim swim swim swim swim swim swim swim & opiate daydreams & vertigo spells in my inner ears
plus it is a must to walk walk walk walk walk & walk
i also shovel snow at odd hours where i sweat & dig tunnels
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
My thoughts, sorry some are duplicate from other people...
Get off of as many of those damn drugs as you can. And maybe find an alternative dr (voodoo, whatever you want to call it l) to see if there are natural things you can take that won't screw with the rest of your brain & body. I'm convinced that drugs bring more drugs, until we're zombies.
Exercise as much as you can - as a recent exercise convert, I can honestly say I feel better than ever with less "old lady" pain and more energy. I can't imagine your physical pain with knee problems - so I know I'm probably making it sound easier than it is. But swimming is great - keep that up!
Try a (good, natural) chiropractor. I never believed until 2 yrs ago - but that guy can twist things in my shoulder to fix something in My big toe. Again, it's a little voodoo and I'm sure it won't fix everyone. But it might be worth a shot.
The acupuncture & yoga are also great suggestions from people.
Anyway... Now I talk/write too much. Hang in there, get yourself well again.
And bah humbug.
Pain is a mother bear of a thing to deal with. No, a mama, papa and baby bear of a fucker to deal with. My own experience with opiates may not apply but for several years I dealt with my ear pain by taking prescription opiates. At first it helped but them I had to take more and more and then crushing the pills and rubbing them on my gums and then downing them with alcohol (which should have killed me on at least two occasions so, frankly, it's just dumb luck that I'm still here) etc. etc. and finally survived one last close call and spent a week in the hospital getting off that shit. It wasn't working any more anyway.
Of the other people I've known with pain issues, one friend died from trying to kill the pain. :( Those I've known who have gotten better have generally have done so with herbs (including some good weed), juicing, cleansing diets, chiropractic and acupuncture.
The other on-going pain I've had to deal with is chronic lower back due to deteriorated discs and the best thing for that has been icing. Even during this hard freeze here that lasted a week I often get up and ice my lower back for twenty minutes until it is numb. Icing before bed seems to help as well. Chiropractic and acupuncture have helped some as well.
When my energy is low I start drinking more carrot juice- up to a quart a day. Carrot/apple/beat juice is helpful also.
I know its tempting to want to kill the pain with various drugs, Chad, but the chance of doing yourself in is greater that way. Try to go easy on that stuff if you have to have it. Some of the alternatives might help and surely can't hurt.
Hang in there good man and good friend. Sending out good thoughts for you!