Sibling Bullying

Last-12-Exit

I won't say I was bulllied, I wasn't. I was picked in in middle school because I was a short, skinny kid. I would combat this with sarcasm. But at some point, the sarcasm didn't work. When I was a freshman, a junior thought it was his turn to pick on me. He had two of his goons tell me that "mikey" wanted to see me in the bathroom. I walked in the bathroom and this guy lunged at me. I beat the guy to a pulp. The kid had to have reconstructive surgery on his nose.

Point is that I had enough. I stood up to the guy and took care of business. I walked in that bathroom thinking that this would be the last guy to ever pick on me. And I was right. Sometimes, imo, you have to stand up for yourself, even if that means you take a good beating. At least that guy knows that if he wants to pick on u again, he's going to have his hands full.

backseatLover12

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

And I was also verbally bullied by my sister... she would intentionally pick fights with me so she could blame on them on me. Sometimes breaking things so she could tell our parents I broke them... sometimes just making up things I'd done.

My parents, years later, have admitted that they knew what was going on but "didn't want to take sides" and since any altercation my sister didn't "win" would result in more yelling, screaming, tantrums and fighting, my parents would occasionally just allow blame to fall on me because it was "a way to just make all the tension end."...


For the record... my sister's verbal and mental abuse of me continued into her adulthood. Until I finally had had enough and just cut off all communication with her altogether. I've been told she's now got two kids and is married a second time. No idea what their names are and care less.

It's interesting how lazy parenting dictates how their kids turn out emotionally and how they get along with siblings later in life. They keep blaming one kid because "it's easier" for them than to settle issues fairly. I could write a book, I'm sure you could too!

Cosmo

unsung wrote:

The best way to handle a bully is to stand up for yourself.

Or...

http://youtu.be/xEilW2dcpSM

Do what this kid did. I bet the bullying stopped.

...
Apparently... you never met Tommy Hagstrom.

unsung

I was bullied. When I was in sixth grade a bigger eighth grader tried his crap. It went on for a while before one day I simply told him to either stop or the next time I'd be fighting back. It stopped.

The thing is bullies are insecure, cowards, and often are compensating from what happened to them. They generally back down.

Cosmo

unsung wrote:

I was bullied. When I was in sixth grade a bigger eighth grader tried his crap. It went on for a while before one day I simply told him to either stop or the next time I'd be fighting back. It stopped.

The thing is bullies are insecure, cowards, and often are compensating from what happened to them. They generally back down.

..
Again... you obviously never met Tommy Hagstrom.
...
Tommy was a kid that adults were afraid of. He held us in terror as kids. He'd be nice and buy us all sodas with the money he probably stole, just so he can swat the bottles out of our hands as we tried to drink them.
And he was a bad ass... I mean, a mean bad ass. He beat the holy shit out of the playground coach.
If you ran up against Tommy and told him to stop or you'll fight back... he'd beat the royal shit out of you. Then, if you dad went to say something to him, he'd beat the shit out of your dad. And.. you would get a daily ass kicking for saying you'd fight back... because he wanted you to fight back... just so he could kick your ass for fighting back.
...
So, no. Your advice against the Tommy Hagstroms out there will not resolve the issue... unless you like getting your ass kicked on a daily basis.

brianlux

unsung wrote:

I was bullied. When I was in sixth grade a bigger eighth grader tried his crap. It went on for a while before one day I simply told him to either stop or the next time I'd be fighting back. It stopped.

The thing is bullies are insecure, cowards, and often are compensating from what happened to them. They generally back down.

That's probably mostly true and sometimes I wish I had stood up to bullies. But at the time, I considered that doing so could cost me an eye or some teeth or even my life. I really did think that and I had no training in self defense so I opted to dodge or run or try bargaining for my safety. I was often scared shitless. Again, if parents, teachers and administrators had been more active in putting a stop the the BS, I would have fewer demons in my past.

Cosmo

A few years ago, i was driving down the street and I saw 3 kids on the sidewalk. One kid was beating the crap out of the smaller kid and the third on was just standing there. The smaller kid was balled up on the sidewalk while the bigger kid was punching him. There were a couple of bikes and a Razor scooter strewn around.
I pull over and get out and start yelling at them to stop. The bigger kid gets up and I ask what is going on and he tells me it's his kid brother. I ask the smaller kid it this is true... and he says yeah... that's his older brother.
...
So, i look at them... and tell them to carry on. Just don't fight out in public. They gather up their bikes and ride off.
...
Moral. I was a kid... I had brothers... we fought. That's what brothers do when they are kids... they fight.

hedonist

Cosmo wrote:

Moral. I was a kid... I had brothers... we fought. That's what brothers do when they are kids... they fight.

Just like sisters!

And...brothers and sisters.

Which is why I'm curious if anyone thinks things are - or should be - handled differently when it's sibling vs. sibling rather than some asshole at school or in the neighborhood?

I guess there can't be an across-the-board "suck it up" or "toughen up" declaration.

Cosmo

hedonist wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

Moral. I was a kid... I had brothers... we fought. That's what brothers do when they are kids... they fight.

Just like sisters!

And...brothers and sisters.

Which is why I'm curious if anyone thinks things are - or should be - handled differently when it's sibling vs. sibling rather than some asshole at school or in the neighborhood?

I guess there can't be an across-the-board "suck it up" or "toughen up" declaration.

...'
Remember that 15 year old dorky kid in San Diego whose dad told him to toughen up?

hedonist

Cosmo wrote:

hedonist wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

Moral. I was a kid... I had brothers... we fought. That's what brothers do when they are kids... they fight.

Just like sisters!

And...brothers and sisters.

Which is why I'm curious if anyone thinks things are - or should be - handled differently when it's sibling vs. sibling rather than some asshole at school or in the neighborhood?

I guess there can't be an across-the-board "suck it up" or "toughen up" declaration.

...'
Remember that 15 year old dorky kid in San Diego whose dad told him to toughen up?

Yup. How different his life may have gone. Now, he won't be eligible for parole for another 50 years.