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Ten things women should stop posting online dating profile

lockedlocked Posts: 4,039
edited September 2013 in All Encompassing Trip
10) "I love to travel...travel monger...hope to travel, love trips.."
We get it, we get it... You want to find a guy who will spend money on you / take you on trips (in this economy???.... Good luck)

9) heavy women who list they are "vegetarian"
No knock on anyone overweight, heck most of us "battle the buldge" but "vegetarian"??
(I think not so much)

8) "gym rat... Love the gym, go to the gym.. Would name my first born "Jim"
(Unless you look like a professional trainer, you are not fooling any guys)

7) lists a section "ABOUT YOU" (the guy you will date)
Just don't do it.. If you are on a dating site chances are you are in no position to demand anything from anyone. James Bond is not on OKCUPID.

6) "busy, busy, busy ... Don't have time, hectic schedule"
Guys are not going to line up to date someone who is so stressed out its spilling over into their dating profile!
"This here's a REQUEST!"
EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
10/25/13 Hartford
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • BinauralJamBinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    whats the other five?

    :think: maybe i can guess

    5) I have a sensitive choke reflex.

    4) I like to Talk about myself.

    3) I hate guys who play video games, UGH!

    2) I'm from Boston

    1) I've only been a women for a few months now but the scares are healing nicely.
  • lockedlocked Posts: 4,039
    5) close up pictures if your face only..
    Just don't.. We know why you are doing this.. Guys will date curvy women but if there's no idea what's from the neck down.. We are moving on..

    4) group pictures only :
    Are you the hot one in the group? We will assume not..

    3) " no players need apply / not looking for one night stand"
    I'm quiet sure all the players and one night standers are relieved to hear this !
    They were about to write you a flowery note too!

    2) using a profile picture holding an obvious phallic symbol / fingers to the mouth:
    This seems to be a new trend maybe started by Cosmo or some other magazine to get mens attention.
    In almost every profile, the woman lists that men should "keep dirty comments to themselves"
    And appear offended at the onslaught of riskee emails they are getting. Realize that all men are pigs and if you suggest any pose that even remotely resembles oral sex... We are going there in our minds..
    You decide if that's a good thing?

    1) "I get some many emails I can't reply to all of them!"
    See this all the time. You are either a narcissist with no clue how conceded you appear or are a hot girl with a constant need for validation that you actually need an online profile to feel good about yourself.

    Honorable mention: "I normally date guys younger than me"
    .. Not for long!.....
    ;)
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,947
    Both men and women would be well advised to avoid the old "I work hard and play hard." .... I mean, seriously. Fuck off. :roll: :lol:
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • MayDay10MayDay10 Posts: 11,725
    3) " no players need apply / not looking for one night stand"
    I'm quiet sure all the players and one night standers are relieved to hear this !
    They were about to write you a flowery note too!

    To expand on this too, it is a huge turnoff when they give signals that they have been burned bad by guy(s). Puts forth the impression of damaged goods.
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    BinauralJam wrote:
    whats the other five?

    :think: maybe i can guess

    5) I have a sensitive choke reflex.

    4) I like to Talk about myself.

    3) I hate guys who play video games, UGH!

    2) I'm from Boston

    1) I've only been a women for a few months now but the scares are healing nicely.

    :lol::lol:
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    this thread has serious potential......

    i will sit back and eat my :corn:
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    BinauralJam wrote:
    1) I've only been a women for a few months now but the scares are healing nicely.

    yikes :
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • LizardLizard Posts: 12,091
    81 wrote:
    this thread has serious potential......

    i will sit back and eat my :corn:

    and i will take notes in case I need for the future...



    :|
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • tvismyfriendtvismyfriend Posts: 2,118
    locked wrote:
    2) using a profile picture holding an obvious phallic symbol / fingers to the mouth:
    This seems to be a new trend maybe started by Cosmo or some other magazine to get mens attention.
    In almost every profile, the woman lists that men should "keep dirty comments to themselves"
    And appear offended at the onslaught of riskee emails they are getting. Realize that all men are pigs and if you suggest any pose that even remotely resembles oral sex... We are going there in our minds..
    You decide if that's a good thing?
    I've got a buddy that was taking japanese and the asains that were in the class for easy credits all did this. Apparently they didn't know what it meant over here and didn't believe him when he tried to tell them.
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,947
    Got curious and went to check out the CL listings. First sentence in the first post in the W4M section:

    "Yes I have Daddy issues, i fully admit to it."

    :lol: :fp:
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • shortstackshortstack Posts: 2,339
    edited June 2013
    .
    Post edited by shortstack on
    did you see me? i saw you.
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    I always thought the Braveheart line would work well for me if I had an online profile.
    Im seven feet tall and can shoot lightning bolts from my ass.

    Well, one of those is true. :P
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,947
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    I always thought the Braveheart line would work well for me if I had an online profile.
    Im seven feet tall and can shoot lightning bolts from my ass.

    Well, one of those is true. :P
    You're 7 feet tall??! :P
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    I always thought the Braveheart line would work well for me if I had an online profile.
    Im seven feet tall and can shoot lightning bolts from my ass.

    Well, one of those is true. :P
    You're 7 feet tall??! :P

    Online I am! ;)
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,947
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    I always thought the Braveheart line would work well for me if I had an online profile.
    Im seven feet tall and can shoot lightning bolts from my ass.

    Well, one of those is true. :P
    You're 7 feet tall??! :P

    Online I am! ;)
    Well hello there.
    howyoudoincouch.gif
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    You're 7 feet tall??! :P

    Online I am! ;)
    Well hello there.
    howyoudoincouch.gif

    :lol::lol:
    You like 'em tall huh? :mrgreen:
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,947
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    JonnyPistachio wrote:

    Online I am! ;)
    Well hello there.
    howyoudoincouch.gif

    :lol::lol:
    You like 'em tall huh? :mrgreen:
    I do. :lol:
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    Well hello there.
    howyoudoincouch.gif

    :lol::lol:
    You like 'em tall huh? :mrgreen:
    I do. :lol:

    Well, if we're ever going to meet in person, I better tell my little secret. I'm actually 6-4, but I like to wear women's clothes, and the 8 inch heels are what make me 7 feet tall.

    But my breasts are real. I swear.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,947
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    I do. :lol:

    Well, if we're ever going to meet in person, I better tell my little secret. I'm actually 6-4, but I like to wear women's clothes, and the 8 inch heels are what make me 7 feet tall.

    But my breasts are real. I swear.
    :think: Hmm. Tall... cross-dresser. Tough one. :think:

    (6'4" ... nice.... are you on Craigslist?
    howyoudoincouch.gif ) :lol:
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • BinauralJamBinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    But my breasts are real. I swear.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL2PicT9Kng
  • JonnyPistachioJonnyPistachio Posts: 10,217
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    :think: Hmm. Tall... cross-dresser. Tough one. :think:

    (6'4" ... nice.... are you on Craigslist?
    howyoudoincouch.gif ) :lol:

    Craigslist?! What kind of a slut do you take me for? :lol:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL2PicT9Kng

    :lol: One of the greatest moments in tv history.
    Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,947
    JonnyPistachio wrote:
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    :think: Hmm. Tall... cross-dresser. Tough one. :think:

    (6'4" ... nice.... are you on Craigslist?
    howyoudoincouch.gif ) :lol:

    Craigslist?! What kind of a slut do you take me for? :lol:
    :lol:
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • mickeyratmickeyrat Posts: 38,535
    81 wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    1) I've only been a women for a few months now but the scares are healing nicely.

    yikes :
    I always figured this was the real BJ.
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  • ldent42ldent42 Posts: 7,859
    locked wrote:
    9) heavy women who list they are "vegetarian"
    No knock on anyone overweight, heck most of us "battle the buldge" but "vegetarian"??
    (I think not so much)

    I knew a vegetarian whose diet was 90% junk food. French fries, pizza, potato chips, etc. She was super skinny, but I can see how its possible for vegetarians to be heavy.
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  • lockedlocked Posts: 4,039
    Just read another one..

    The girl is 5 ft 6 and says she will only date guys 5 ft 10 or taller..
    (True story)

    Well I feel like listing "I'm 5 ft 7 and I only dates babes with a cup size of C or D! If you have breasts smaller than that, I'm not interested.. Sorry!"

    See what I mean ??

    :)
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • jethrojam420jethrojam420 Posts: 1,075
    locked wrote:
    Just read another one..

    The girl is 5 ft 6 and says she will only date guys 5 ft 10 or taller..
    (True story)

    Well I feel like listing "I'm 5 ft 7 and I only dates babes with a cup size of C or D! If you have breasts smaller than that, I'm not interested.. Sorry!"

    See what I mean ??

    :)

    A few years ago when I was on the hunt, I just looked for things that were rare. Everyone likes to travel and wants a dude with a means of income. i never expected them to give their ss# either. But if they said something that no other girl said like "I hate it when the worker puts butter on my popcorn at the movie theatre" or "I give the finger to anybody who cuts me off on the expressway" Or best yet ::: "My favorite band is Pearl Jam" they were sure to get a message from me in their inbox lol
    8/29/00*5/2/03*7/2/03*7/3/03*7/11/03*9/28/04*5/24/06*6/28/08*5/15/10*5/17/10* 10/16/13*10/25/13* 4/28/16*4/28/16*8/5/16*8/7/16 EV 6/15/11 Brad 10/27/02
  • lockedlocked Posts: 4,039
    Another thing I hate is when woman post ONE PICTURE.
    JUST ONE?
    Are you serious? Of all the photos of you there is just ONE that's worthy of posting in your profile?
    Low self esteem ladies?
    Come on.. We're not looking for models !
    ;)
    "This here's a REQUEST!"
    EV intro to Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns
    10/25/13 Hartford
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    locked wrote:
    10) "I love to travel...travel monger...hope to travel, love trips.."
    We get it, we get it... You want to find a guy who will spend money on you / take you on trips (in this economy???.... Good luck)...


    I love to travel.. and I do it often. so if I listed it in an online dating profile it wouldn't be in the hopes of getting some gormless chap to fund my expeditions. itd be to attract someone who loves to travel too.
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  • Digital TwilightDigital Twilight Posts: 5,642
    locked wrote:
    9) heavy women who list they are "vegetarian"
    No knock on anyone overweight, heck most of us "battle the buldge" but "vegetarian"??
    (I think not so much)

    Wow - that's really dumb.
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,947
    Digital Twilight wrote:
    locked wrote:
    9) heavy women who list they are "vegetarian"
    No knock on anyone overweight, heck most of us "battle the buldge" but "vegetarian"??
    (I think not so much)

    Wow - that's really dumb.
    Yeah.
    Vegetarians aren't always slim. There is a whole lot of food that makes you fat that isn't meat.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
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