Have you lied about how many 'partners' you've had?

mydogmookieblaylock

i just always say "i don't know" which isn't really i lie - i mean i could take the time to figure it out but .....

chadwick

mydogmookieblaylock wrote:

i just always say "i don't know" which isn't really i lie - i mean i could take the time to figure it out but .....

best answer yet & who wants to forget and leave a few out of the calculation hurting feelings and shit?

PJ_Soul

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all if you can help it - not on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

fife

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

chadwick

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

tell 'em you live like it is 1969 & protection is for emos

PJ_Soul

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

I think asking is just opening the door for him to lie. If a guy has a sexual history that would make me worry about getting STDs, he's not going to tell me about it. All you have to do to keep safe is ask him to get tested. How many partners he's had in the past is irrelevant. That doesn't need to be a part of the conversation. No one should EVER trust someone who says they're safe, they haven't slept with anyone in a year and have been tested since, etc anyway. So why ask? The answer would be irrelevant. They should get tested either way if you're looking for peace of mind.

JonnyPistachio

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

Thats a good point. I recall one girlfriend who never told me a number, but through hearing her stories, I thought and pondered and lost sleep over how to ask her to get tested. She never got tested, and nothing has fallen off on me or changed colors (yet)... but it scared me for quite awhile.

So, when it comes to your partner, it should be for safety to be accurate. But people lie to their friends all the time just to look cooler (guys, ive seen it a million times)or less like a promiscuous party girl. I had one girlfriend tell me she had 8..then a few months later she admitted it was 22. She just didnt want to look slutty at age 22. That number didnt really bother me, the two abortions did though.

Ive never been good at discussing getting tested, and I assume its not easy for everyone to have that conversation.

PJ_Soul

JonnyPistachio wrote:

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

Thats a good point. I recall one girlfriend who never told me a number, but through hearing her stories, I thought and pondered and lost sleep over how to ask her to get tested. She never got tested, and nothing has fallen off on me or changed colors (yet)... but it scared me for quite awhile.

So, when it comes to your partner, it should be for safety to be accurate. But people lie to their friends all the time just to look cooler (guys, ive seen it a million times)or less like a promiscuous party girl. I had one girlfriend tell me she had 8..then a few months later she admitted it was 22. She just didnt want to look slutty at age 22. That number didnt really bother me, the two abortions did though.

Ive never been good at discussing getting tested, and I assume its not easy for everyone to have that conversation.

Again, what makes you trust what they are telling you?? Never trust that number, and never base you decision to ask someone to get STD tested before you sleep with them without protection on what they are telling you. Doesn't matter how smitten you are. People lie about that shit all the time.

mca47

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

I think for safety reasons you have to trust them no matter what.
If you ask "how many w/o protection?" they could lie just as easily lie about that.

Doesn't really matter what you ask them other than "Do you have a STD that I should know about?"
Annnnnd if they lie about that, then they could get into some serious legal trouble!

JonnyPistachio

PJ_Soul wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

Thats a good point. I recall one girlfriend who never told me a number, but through hearing her stories, I thought and pondered and lost sleep over how to ask her to get tested. She never got tested, and nothing has fallen off on me or changed colors (yet)... but it scared me for quite awhile.

So, when it comes to your partner, it should be for safety to be accurate. But people lie to their friends all the time just to look cooler (guys, ive seen it a million times)or less like a promiscuous party girl. I had one girlfriend tell me she had 8..then a few months later she admitted it was 22. She just didnt want to look slutty at age 22. That number didnt really bother me, the two abortions did though.

Ive never been good at discussing getting tested, and I assume its not easy for everyone to have that conversation.

Again, what makes you trust what they are telling you?? Never trust that number, and never base you decision to ask someone to get STD tested before you sleep with them without protection on what they are telling you. Doesn't matter how smitten you are. People lie about that shit all the time.

I agree that you should just have testing done if you're at all worried, but I wouldnt say NEVER trust that number that your partner tells you. I've had a few be completely honest - I have no doubt in my mind. It depends on the person I think. Of course, i've been lied to as well, so I can see how it could get tricky. But it depends on the situation. but agian, when I was younger, having that conversation about getting tested was tough. From a guy to a girl, you dont want to come across as saying you think she is a slut. I'm older now and know how to discuss it (I think)

BinauralJam

Does it count as a "Partner" if you share the person with your significant other?

JonnyPistachio

BinauralJam wrote:

Does it count as a "Partner" if you share the person with your significant other?

.5?

mca47

The question itself can also be a bit vague too.

I knew a girl in college who had a really, really low number.
That said, let's just say she was also a bit of a "vacuum". If you included that, her number would be through the roof!

So if she started a relationship with someone and they asked her "how many partners have you had?" Her number would be very misleading if she didn't include her Hoover Vacuum numbers.

PJ_Soul

mca47 wrote:

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

I think for safety reasons you have to trust them no matter what.

:shock: Is that a typo?

BinauralJam

JonnyPistachio wrote:

BinauralJam wrote:

Does it count as a "Partner" if you share the person with your significant other?

.5?

.5 , i Like it!

Who Princess

fife wrote:

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

I'm not sure if asking about it will really make a difference. I was an HIV educator in the 90s and found that people's behaviors will surprise you to say the least. People don't always change their history to be deceitful; sometimes they meet somebody they really care for and manage to "forget" things that they don't want to acknowledge. We expect guys to brag or exaggerate the number of partners they've had but I discovered that young men had started to claim that they were virgins to get girls to be more trusting. That one flabbergasted me but I learned about it from several sources.

If you don't feel comfortable having the discussion about getting tested, insist on using protection all the time, every time. If you want to ask the other person to get tested, you'd better be willing to do the same. Go to testing together and get your results at the same time. Anyone can fib that they've been tested but if you face each other after you've gotten your results, it will be hard for most people to hide what they've learned.

How you handle the relationship post-test is another story.

Mamasan23

Ha. Hahhahahhhahha



Hahhaahahhaha


Carry on.

PJ_Soul

Mamasan23 wrote:

Ha. Hahhahahhhahha



Hahhaahahhaha


Carry on.

I once asked a boyfriend the question while drunk, and as a joke he said 287, and I started crying. :fp: So at the very least, don't ask when you're drunk.

rick1zoo2

:fp:

I don't know if I can remember it

Mamasan23

PJ_Soul wrote:

Mamasan23 wrote:

Ha. Hahhahahhhahha



Hahhaahahhaha


Carry on.

I once asked a boyfriend the question while drunk, and as a joke he said 287, and I started crying. :fp: So at the very least, don't ask when you're drunk.

Haha whoops! I have never once asked a dude his number. I don't want to know..as long as he's healthy, ya know? So its none of their business either. A dude hung up on your number isn't worth the effort imo