Have you lied about how many 'partners' you've had?
JonnyPistachio
Posts: 10,217
Men often lie and say more.
Women sometimes say less.
it's kinda screwed up.
I dont think i've lied. I've definitely withheld information, but that's not lying is it?
In the past, all of my girlfriends and I have talked about our pasts. Sometimes it scared me a bit.
But I've never discussed it with my wife. I dont think either of us care at this point.
Whaddya think?
Women sometimes say less.
it's kinda screwed up.
I dont think i've lied. I've definitely withheld information, but that's not lying is it?
In the past, all of my girlfriends and I have talked about our pasts. Sometimes it scared me a bit.
But I've never discussed it with my wife. I dont think either of us care at this point.
Whaddya think?
Pick up my debut novel here on amazon: Jonny Bails Floatin (in paperback) (also available on Kindle for $2.99)
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
When we first got together, my guy and I talked about it in passing, vs. a specific subject. I never felt the need to adjust the numbers - it is what it is; no shame, no pride. Just reality.
I am what I am!
And you're right, JP...at this point, it's pointless.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/20 ... 122319.htm
People will lie about their sexual behavior to match cultural expectations about how men or women should act -- even though they wouldn't distort other gender-related behaviors, new research suggests.
The study found that men were willing to admit that they sometimes engaged in behaviors seen by college students as more appropriate for women, such as writing poetry. The same was true for women, who didn't hide the fact that they told obscene jokes, or sometimes participated in other "male-type" deeds.
But when it came to sex, men wanted to be seen as "real men:" the kind who had many partners and a lot of sexual experience. Women, on the other hand, wanted to be seen as having less sexual experience than they actually had, to match what is expected of women.
"There is something unique about sexuality that led people to care more about matching the stereotypes for their gender," said Terri Fisher, author of the study and professor of psychology at The Ohio State University's Mansfield campus.
"Sexuality seemed to be the one area where people felt some concern if they didn't meet the stereotypes of a typical man or a typical woman."
Fisher discovered how people would honestly respond to questions about sexuality and other gender-role behaviors by asking some study participants questions when they thought they were hooked up to a lie detector machine.
The study appears in a recent issue of the journal Sex Roles. Participants were 293 college students between the ages of 18 and 25. The students completed a questionnaire that asked how often they engaged in 124 different behaviors (from never to a few times a day). People in a previous study had identified all the behaviors to be typical of either males (such as wearing dirty clothes, telling obscene jokes) or females (such as writing poetry, lying about your weight). Other behaviors were identified as more negative for males (singing in the shower) or more negative for females (poking fun at others).
But some people filled out the questionnaire while they were attached to what they were told was a working polygraph machine or lie detector. (It was actually not working.)
The others were connected to the apparatus before the study began, supposedly to measure anxiety, but the machine was removed before they completed the questionnaire.
In general, the results showed that both men and women tended to act as would be expected for their gender. Men reported more typical-male behaviors and women reported more typical-female behaviors, regardless of whether they were attached to the lie detector or not.
But for non-sexual behaviors, the participants didn't seem to feel any added pressure to respond in stereotypical ways for their gender.
In other words, women who were hooked up to the lie detector and those who weren't were equally likely to admit to bench pressing weights -- a stereotypical male activity.
"Men and women didn't feel compelled to report what they did in ways that matched the stereotypes for their gender for the non-sexual behaviors," Fisher said.
The one exception was sexual behavior, where, for example, men reported more sexual partners when they weren't hooked up to the lie detector than whey they were. Women reported fewer partners when they were not hooked up to the lie detector than when they were. A similar pattern was found for reports of ever having experienced sexual intercourse.
"Men and women had different answers about their sexual behavior when they thought they had to be truthful," Fisher said.
This result confirms what Fisher found in an earlier study, back in 2003 -- with one important difference.
Back in 2003, women went from having fewer sexual partners than men (when not hooked up to a lie detector) to being essentially even to men (when hooked up to the lie detector.)
In this new study, women actually reported more sexual partners than men when they were both hooked up to a lie detector and thought they had to be truthful.
"Society has changed, even in the past 10 years, and a variety of researchers have found that differences between men and women in some areas of sexual behavior have essentially disappeared," she said.
Fisher said the results of the study may actually be stronger than what was found here. Although half the participants were not hooked up to the lie detector while completing the questionnaire, they had been hooked up before they started.
"Some of the participants may have been made uncomfortable by being attached to the lie detector at first, and that may have led them to be more forthcoming and truthful than they otherwise would have been," she said.
No no, faking it is worse!
You seem very straighforward -- even in internet land, you can tell this sometimes. Good for you hedonist.
I think maybe people lie more to their friends and early in relationships that dont work out. Thats just my guess though..
I feel so special and tingly all over.
You're going to call me right? :P
DEGENERATE FUK
This place is dead
"THERE ARE NO CLIQUES, ONLY THOSE WHO DON'T JOIN THE FUN" - Empty circa 2015
"Kfsbho&$thncds" - F Me In the Brain - circa 2015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIVtma0fN7w
> (I)
DEGENERATE FUK
This place is dead
"THERE ARE NO CLIQUES, ONLY THOSE WHO DON'T JOIN THE FUN" - Empty circa 2015
"Kfsbho&$thncds" - F Me In the Brain - circa 2015
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
but I haven't been asked either...
I'll give you a hint - the number is shockingly low.
(and thanks, JP!)
And I'll gaurentee you that at least 1/2 of the females on that list would give me a number that would make my jaw drop and probably send me straight to the doctor for a thorough examination...
so to answer JP's question - yes, the study is probably correct.
kthx
What does it really matter? I don't care to know her number why is she asking mine? :?
:fp:
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
15 years later and all is good.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.
I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Thats a good point. I recall one girlfriend who never told me a number, but through hearing her stories, I thought and pondered and lost sleep over how to ask her to get tested. She never got tested, and nothing has fallen off on me or changed colors (yet)... but it scared me for quite awhile.
So, when it comes to your partner, it should be for safety to be accurate. But people lie to their friends all the time just to look cooler (guys, ive seen it a million times)or less like a promiscuous party girl. I had one girlfriend tell me she had 8..then a few months later she admitted it was 22. She just didnt want to look slutty at age 22. That number didnt really bother me, the two abortions did though.
Ive never been good at discussing getting tested, and I assume its not easy for everyone to have that conversation.
I think for safety reasons you have to trust them no matter what.
If you ask "how many w/o protection?" they could lie just as easily lie about that.
Doesn't really matter what you ask them other than "Do you have a STD that I should know about?"
Annnnnd if they lie about that, then they could get into some serious legal trouble!
I agree that you should just have testing done if you're at all worried, but I wouldnt say NEVER trust that number that your partner tells you. I've had a few be completely honest - I have no doubt in my mind. It depends on the person I think. Of course, i've been lied to as well, so I can see how it could get tricky. But it depends on the situation. but agian, when I was younger, having that conversation about getting tested was tough. From a guy to a girl, you dont want to come across as saying you think she is a slut. I'm older now and know how to discuss it (I think)