Your tips for avoiding negative people and conversations

STAYSEA

justam wrote:

Please share them.

Occasionally I have interactions with people I (essentially) like and at some point they turn our conversations into complaining circles. I don't like it! I leave the interaction wondering "Why didn't I just walk away?!" :shock: "Did I accidentally say something bad about one of my friends that this gossip will spread out of context?!" :?

It's horrible!!

Give me some tips and advice about how to avoid this kind of situation. I can't always totally avoid the people themselves because I have to work with them sometimes!

:geek:

I only say "apparently we are having a communication error". At work, after negativity I take it out on the boxes. My manager watched me stab and rip open a box of cookies with a pencil.

He asked me if I was okay, I said "oh, I'm fine, this box is hard to open".

Then he asked me how I felt that day, and I said I felt there were many communication errors through out the day with other team members.

Another piece of advice is to make a pro/ con list. If the problem isn't negative enough for you to make a list, then it's not so bad. If it is that negative, at least you can see reasons on your list as to why it's dragging you down and you can make an effort to address it with valid reasons or move on.

good luck

justam

STAYSEA wrote:

I only say "apparently we are having a communication error". At work, after negativity I take it out on the boxes. My manager watched me stab and rip open a box of cookies with a pencil.

He asked me if I was okay, I said "oh, I'm fine, this box is hard to open".

Then he asked me how I felt that day, and I said I felt there were many communication errors through out the day with other team members.

Another piece of advice is to make a pro/ con list. If the problem isn't negative enough for you to make a list, then it's not so bad. If it is that negative, at least you can see reasons on your list as to why it's dragging you down and you can make an effort to address it with valid reasons or move on.

good luck

I like that you used actions to express how you felt too.

You just gave me the idea that I could also quickly slip out of the room by saying "I need to go wash my hands, they feel sticky and I don't like that."

rick1zoo2

become an intorvert and avoid everyone

justam

rick1zoo2 wrote:

become an intorvert and avoid everyone

As I said, sometimes I have to work with other people!

donnaruhl

Hang up the Phone!

STAYSEA

justam wrote:

rick1zoo2 wrote:

become an introvert and avoid everyone

As I said, sometimes I have to work with other people!

Justam... You must communicate. Is your manager a decent human?

Every one has a breaking point. We all have weaknesses. Learn what yours are, and learn what your co worker's have.

Some people at my job cry when things get tense.

Today, a dude snapped at me.

"I don't care who this order is for!, just tell me where."

I said wow ... some one is a bit snappy. OUCH. :roll:

Then I listened to the Manager make a prank call to another store. Hysterical!!!!!!

A few hrs later, Cam apologized. He asked me not to cry.

A few weeks ago, I covered his shift so he could leave early so he could get his car safe. (it was flooding very bad)

We respect each other. The haters can't blend in.

I said, If I was going to cry it wouldn't be about a retail order or on the job, and we should probably find herbal refreshments later.

Justam, If it's one person... wait a week. Communicate with that person, and tell them your issues.
Humans can be so human.

IF they disrespect.. Move on. To the Store manager, then the HR manager. OR quit.
You are probably too good for that stupidity. I laugh at my job, and it's worth the bad moments, because it balances.

Rob just cussed on the ten club radio... awesome !

rollings

justam wrote:

rollings wrote:

I make this face and hold it. It usually works to halt most conversations.


this face

~

:sick:
It doesn't seem like it'd be good for a career or general acquaintance management though. :geek:

justam

Rollings,

That's a really ugly picture of that woman's face. I wish it was not in this thread.

It seems to me that putting it in here once was enough. It's pranks like this that make me wonder what you consider friendship to be.

RKCNDY

Who Princess wrote:

In a work situation, people usually start to figure out if you're not interested in gossip and they won't come to you with it. Gossip only thrives if people are willing to share it and I'm not. I tend to be the last person to know anything about anybody.

When people would come to me to bitch about someone, I would ask them, "Have you tried talking to that person? Maybe they don't know they are affecting you like that" So they turned on me, and started making up shit and gossiping about me.

Nice people finish last.

Snakeduck

What you do is take their natural negativity and respond in a way that is ten times more negative and see if they really want to play. So, when a co-worker is complaining about someone just respond with, “Fuck, I know. Last week I was gonna curb stomp that motherfucker’s skull into the sidewalk until I was splashing around in his brains and then I was gonna set the douchebag’s house on fire while his wife and kid were still sleeping. Motherfucker anyway…”

STAYSEA

Snakeduck wrote:

What you do is take their natural negativity and respond in a way that is ten times more negative and see if they really want to play. So, when a co-worker is complaining about someone just respond with, “Fuck, I know. Last week I was gonna curb stomp that motherfucker’s skull into the sidewalk until I was splashing around in his brains and then I was gonna set the douchebag’s house on fire while his wife and kid were still sleeping. Motherfucker anyway…”

:nono: This is not a good way to handle jerks at work. A very bad way to never get a good referral for another job.

Is any of this helping you Justam? PM me, if you want advice on a certain issue. I've dealt with many difficult people. I learned to deal with it in a proper way and I've also dealt with it the worst way.

I've been able to make peace, and I hope I can hear your true issue and give you a fair opinion.

chadwick

STAYSEA wrote:

Snakeduck wrote:

What you do is take their natural negativity and respond in a way that is ten times more negative and see if they really want to play. So, when a co-worker is complaining about someone just respond with, “Fuck, I know. Last week I was gonna curb stomp that motherfucker’s skull into the sidewalk until I was splashing around in his brains and then I was gonna set the douchebag’s house on fire while his wife and kid were still sleeping. Motherfucker anyway…”

:nono: This is not a good way to handle jerks at work. A very bad way to never get a good referral for another job.

Is any of this helping you Justam? PM me, if you want advice on a certain issue. I've dealt with many difficult people. I learned to deal with it in a proper way and I've also dealt with it the worst way.

I've been able to make peace, and I hope I can hear your true issue and give you a fair opinion.

staysea, it is very humorous i think. i like it a lot actually. i want snakeduck to write kids books & tell me bedtime stories

chadwick

justam wrote:

rollings wrote:

I make this face and hold it. It usually works to halt most conversations.


this face

~

:sick:
It doesn't seem like it'd be good for a career or general acquaintance management though. :geek:

"it doesn't seem like it'd be good for a career"


that is your final answer, yes?









to be honest i can't believe what im reading. i guess that's why we're all individuals in this world

STAYSEA

chadwick wrote:

Snakeduck wrote:

What you do is take their natural negativity and respond in a way that is ten times more negative and see if they really want to play. So, when a co-worker is complaining about someone just respond with, “Fuck, I know. Last week I was gonna curb stomp that motherfucker’s skull into the sidewalk until I was splashing around in his brains and then I was gonna set the douchebag’s house on fire while his wife and kid were still sleeping. Motherfucker anyway…”

I like it a lot actually. i want snakeduck to write kids books & tell me bedtime stories

Then you 2 should get together and have a pajama party

I'll send cookies.

chadwick

STAYSEA wrote:

chadwick wrote:

Snakeduck wrote:

What you do is take their natural negativity and respond in a way that is ten times more negative and see if they really want to play. So, when a co-worker is complaining about someone just respond with, “Fuck, I know. Last week I was gonna curb stomp that motherfucker’s skull into the sidewalk until I was splashing around in his brains and then I was gonna set the douchebag’s house on fire while his wife and kid were still sleeping. Motherfucker anyway…”

I like it a lot actually. i want snakeduck to write kids books & tell me bedtime stories

Then you 2 should get together and have a pajama party

I'll send cookies.

i don't eat cookies unless they got grass in 'em. also, overly nice people irritate me

Who Princess

RKCNDY wrote:

Who Princess wrote:

In a work situation, people usually start to figure out if you're not interested in gossip and they won't come to you with it. Gossip only thrives if people are willing to share it and I'm not. I tend to be the last person to know anything about anybody.

When people would come to me to bitch about someone, I would ask them, "Have you tried talking to that person? Maybe they don't know they are affecting you like that" So they turned on me, and started making up shit and gossiping about me.

Nice people finish last.

Yeah, I've had that happen to me too. I also will tell people that if they've really got a problem with someone else, they need to work it out with the other person. Most people don't want to hear that because it means they'd actually have to do something about the problem. :roll:

I've been gossiped about, probably even more than I know. There's nothing I can do about it, for the most part. You can't control what other people say or think about you, unless you have an opportunity to confront the original source and tell them to STFU. It's very unpleasant and sometimes hurtful but the people who are my friends will stay my friends.

This kind of stuff has been going on since I was teenager. Kind of pathetic that it still happens.

chadwick

quick question...

do you think construction workers, steel workers, seamen, gossip back & forth about one another? I've never had but one of those jobs, construction worker. not any time ever in my life at a job did anyone ever gossip negatively behind another's back all talkin smack. men working are men working. office type work i believe is something altogether different especially when women are involved

truck drivers give each shit over the radio & it is the funniest shit ever... they be arguing up a storm & sooooo mad it is hilarious

justam

chadwick wrote:

justam wrote:

rollings wrote:

I make this face and hold it. It usually works to halt most conversations.


this face

~

:sick:
It doesn't seem like it'd be good for a career or general acquaintance management though. :geek:

"it doesn't seem like it'd be good for a career"


that is your final answer, yes?

to be honest i can't believe what im reading. i guess that's why we're all individuals in this world

Chadwick, rollings was suggesting to put on a face like this as her advice to me. I thought it was a joke of course but what I said was a response AS IF she had intended it to be serious advice. (For, that's what I was asking for.)

I was asking for real suggestions because I have a professional career and have to work with people who require careful handling sometimes.

I value my job too much to do stupid shit like make faces or be rude to people.

justam

STAYSEA wrote:

Snakeduck wrote:

What you do is take their natural negativity and respond in a way that is ten times more negative and see if they really want to play. So, when a co-worker is complaining about someone just respond with, “Fuck, I know. Last week I was gonna curb stomp that motherfucker’s skull into the sidewalk until I was splashing around in his brains and then I was gonna set the douchebag’s house on fire while his wife and kid were still sleeping. Motherfucker anyway…”

:nono: This is not a good way to handle jerks at work. A very bad way to never get a good referral for another job.

Is any of this helping you Justam? PM me, if you want advice on a certain issue. I've dealt with many difficult people. I learned to deal with it in a proper way and I've also dealt with it the worst way.

I've been able to make peace, and I hope I can hear your true issue and give you a fair opinion.

Staysea, I'll send you a pm.

The few people who were giving earnest advice were indeed helpful!

The other suggestions I think were meant to derail the thread perhaps. I don't really know. :geek:

KC138045

Check out the AET since The Porch is a bitch fest tonight.