And one day.
One day, when I grow a pair of ole's.
I am going to have this conversation, with my bride.
Kathy: Do these pants make my ass look big?
SPEEDY: No, but they make your tits look small!
One day.
reminds me of this song....
I don't take no crap from anybody
[else but you]
I wear the pants around here
[when I'm finished with your laundry]
Cuz I'm a guy you don't wanna fight
[When I say "Jump", you say "Yeah right!"]
I'm the man of this house
[until you get home]
And I can have sex anytime
[that you want it]
Cuz I'm a man who has needs
[but there not that important]
And don't expect any flowers from me
[Cuz if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelry]
I'm the King of my castle
[when you're not around]
"...And I fight back in my mind. Never lets me be right.
I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
Ok, so 2-3 weeks ago I tell her we are out of fabric sheets, laundry sheets, bounce, you know what I mean. She says she will pick some up ( I buy the food, she buys the nonsense). So a couple of weeks go by, and still no fabric sheets. Yesterday we are at the store and I make a Bee-Line to the fabric sheets, and throw 2 boxes in the cart.
She looks at me and says: Don't buy those, they are too expensive.
$2 fabric sheets are too expensive? She tells me she has coupons(but not with her). Point is, in 2-3 weeks she has not picked up the stupid fucking fabric sheets.
Back and forth we go, and needless to say, I don't get to buy the fucking god damned fabric sheets, that would have cost me $4.
Well 12 hours later, at 6:30am this morning, I am back in the store. And the 1st fucking thing I throw in the cart?
FUCKING FABRIC SHEETS!!!!!
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
nothing to bitch about lately. trying to figure out how she puts up with all my bullshit.
In the last week I have dropped BIG money on my little backyard overhaul, landscaping adventure. Tools, grass seed, lawn patch, top soil, mulch, borders, pavers, fire pit, etc. I cant get out of Menards without dropping $80. The fucking tools are killing me! And I am in Menards 2-3 times a day!
Yet I cant buy $4 worth of fabric sheets and be done with it?
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Ok, so 2-3 weeks ago I tell her we are out of fabric sheets, laundry sheets, bounce, you know what I mean. She says she will pick some up ( I buy the food, she buys the nonsense). So a couple of weeks go by, and still no fabric sheets. Yesterday we are at the store and I make a Bee-Line to the fabric sheets, and throw 2 boxes in the cart.
She looks at me and says: Don't buy those, they are too expensive.
$2 fabric sheets are too expensive? She tells me she has coupons(but not with her). Point is, in 2-3 weeks she has not picked up the stupid fucking fabric sheets.
Back and forth we go, and needless to say, I don't get to buy the fucking god damned fabric sheets, that would have cost me $4.
Well 12 hours later, at 6:30am this morning, I am back in the store. And the 1st fucking thing I throw in the cart?
FUCKING FABRIC SHEETS!!!!!
i'm not even sure what brand we use....hell, i would have a hard time locating them in the store
Ok, so 2-3 weeks ago I tell her we are out of fabric sheets, laundry sheets, bounce, you know what I mean. She says she will pick some up ( I buy the food, she buys the nonsense). So a couple of weeks go by, and still no fabric sheets. Yesterday we are at the store and I make a Bee-Line to the fabric sheets, and throw 2 boxes in the cart.
She looks at me and says: Don't buy those, they are too expensive.
$2 fabric sheets are too expensive? She tells me she has coupons(but not with her). Point is, in 2-3 weeks she has not picked up the stupid fucking fabric sheets.
Back and forth we go, and needless to say, I don't get to buy the fucking god damned fabric sheets, that would have cost me $4.
Well 12 hours later, at 6:30am this morning, I am back in the store. And the 1st fucking thing I throw in the cart?
FUCKING FABRIC SHEETS!!!!!
i'm not even sure what brand we use....hell, i would have a hard time locating them in the store
They were in my fucking cart.
And I fucking put them back on the shelf?
I might as well have been wearing a skirt and high heels at that very moment.
I should have bounced those fabric sheets off her forehead.
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
as i've told rival. , you have to get banned from shopping. it makes life so much better....until she hands you the reciept for a random pair of shoes. :fp:
However she did say my garage sale pricing was too low while sifting through junk in our garage..
Eddie Bauer Baby Bag - I price it at 15..maybe i get 10..She comes in and says "That was an $80 bag never really used and changes the sticker to like $50..Then proceeds to change like 10 others..
Im in the business of getting rid of my old shit..not price it too high and by the end of 2 days..load the junk back in my garage..I told her if shit is not looking like its gone by days end...75% off blue light special!!!
as i've told rival. , you have to get banned from shopping. it makes life so much better....until she hands you the reciept for a random pair of shoes. :fp:
I wont say I have banned her from grocery shopping with me.
But she knows I prefer going by myself.
I can get everything we need, hit 2-3 stores and still be done in an hour or two.
When she goes with me? She can spend 30 minutes looking at the different types of fucking spaghetti sauces!
Take me piece by piece..... Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
My wife crashed our 2012 Acura RDX twice in the last month.
$5800 worth of damage. She is about to get dropped by the insurance co.
Then tells me at 5pm on Sunday that my 8 year old son needs to build a castle due on Monday while expecting me to create a mother's day spread at the same time.
Right, but I'm the asshole for getting upset. Yes dear. God bless em.
My wife crashed our 2012 Acura RDX twice in the last month.
$5800 worth of damage. She is about to get dropped by the insurance co.
Then tells me at 5pm on Sunday that my 8 year old son needs to build a castle due on Monday while expecting me to create a mother's day spread at the same time.
Right, but I'm the asshole for getting upset. Yes dear. God bless em.
as i've told rival. , you have to get banned from shopping. it makes life so much better....until she hands you the reciept for a random pair of shoes. :fp:
I wont say I have banned her from grocery shopping with me.
But she knows I prefer going by myself.
I can get everything we need, hit 2-3 stores and still be done in an hour or two.
When she goes with me? She can spend 30 minutes looking at the different types of fucking spaghetti sauces!
My wife doesn't even waste time reading the labels & it still takes her 3x the time it takes me. Granted 45 years living in NYC, 11 years working for UPS & 13 years in the fire dept taught me how to move quickly & efficiently but still wtf :fp: . god forbid I try to rush her .
So, What you Giving ?........ (Thanks Speedy, Alesek, & Arq+friends)
What You Giving
I suggest you step out on your Porch.
Run away my son. See it all. Oh, See the World!
Comments
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
The cat will be happy.
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Only because I think there is a character limit....
I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
I could write a book. or a doctoral thesis for psychiatry
'character limit' could be taken several ways.
SPEEDY: Did you get me a souvenier?
Kathy: No, I never thought about it.
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
no pictures and now no suvenier either
Oh I am sure I could be a co-writer or at least a large contributor
I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
Kathy: Does this outfit look Ok?
After 15 years you would think she would figure out..
I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU WEAR TO WORK!!!!
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
One day, when I grow a pair of ole's.
I am going to have this conversation, with my bride.
Kathy: Do these pants make my ass look big?
SPEEDY: No, but they make your tits look small!
One day.
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
At an $11 all you can eat buffet.
An $11 buffet?
They are LIVING IT UP!!!!!
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
reminds me of this song....
I don't take no crap from anybody
[else but you]
I wear the pants around here
[when I'm finished with your laundry]
Cuz I'm a guy you don't wanna fight
[When I say "Jump", you say "Yeah right!"]
I'm the man of this house
[until you get home]
And I can have sex anytime
[that you want it]
Cuz I'm a man who has needs
[but there not that important]
And don't expect any flowers from me
[Cuz if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelry]
I'm the King of my castle
[when you're not around]
I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
She looks at me and says: Don't buy those, they are too expensive.
$2 fabric sheets are too expensive? She tells me she has coupons(but not with her). Point is, in 2-3 weeks she has not picked up the stupid fucking fabric sheets.
Back and forth we go, and needless to say, I don't get to buy the fucking god damned fabric sheets, that would have cost me $4.
Well 12 hours later, at 6:30am this morning, I am back in the store. And the 1st fucking thing I throw in the cart?
FUCKING FABRIC SHEETS!!!!!
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Yet I cant buy $4 worth of fabric sheets and be done with it?
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Man..you said it best..
i'm not even sure what brand we use....hell, i would have a hard time locating them in the store
(I don't even wear a fucking scarf)
And I fucking put them back on the shelf?
I might as well have been wearing a skirt and high heels at that very moment.
I should have bounced those fabric sheets off her forehead.
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Eddie Bauer Baby Bag - I price it at 15..maybe i get 10..She comes in and says "That was an $80 bag never really used and changes the sticker to like $50..Then proceeds to change like 10 others..
Im in the business of getting rid of my old shit..not price it too high and by the end of 2 days..load the junk back in my garage..I told her if shit is not looking like its gone by days end...75% off blue light special!!!
But she knows I prefer going by myself.
I can get everything we need, hit 2-3 stores and still be done in an hour or two.
When she goes with me? She can spend 30 minutes looking at the different types of fucking spaghetti sauces!
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
$5800 worth of damage. She is about to get dropped by the insurance co.
Then tells me at 5pm on Sunday that my 8 year old son needs to build a castle due on Monday while expecting me to create a mother's day spread at the same time.
Right, but I'm the asshole for getting upset. Yes dear. God bless em.
My wife doesn't even waste time reading the labels & it still takes her 3x the time it takes me. Granted 45 years living in NYC, 11 years working for UPS & 13 years in the fire dept taught me how to move quickly & efficiently but still wtf :fp: . god forbid I try to rush her
What You Giving
I suggest you step out on your Porch.
Run away my son. See it all. Oh, See the World!