Lets bitch about our wives!!!!!

rick1zoo2

don't get me started, my god. :fp:

LloydXmas

SPEEDY MCCREADY

rick1zoo2 wrote:

don't get me started, my god. :fp:

JonnyPistachio

So she comes back today, I recall. :corn:

SPEEDY MCCREADY

JonnyPistachio wrote:

So she comes back today, I recall. :corn:

Yes she does.

The cat will be happy.

BinauralJam

I can't, she took care of me this morning

Green Circle

I can't do this....



Only because I think there is a character limit....

rick1zoo2

Green Circle wrote:

I can't do this....



Only because I think there is a character limit....

I could write a book. or a doctoral thesis for psychiatry

JonnyPistachio

Green Circle wrote:

I can't do this....



Only because I think there is a character limit....

'character limit' could be taken several ways.

SPEEDY MCCREADY

This mornings conversation.

SPEEDY: Did you get me a souvenier?
Kathy: No, I never thought about it.

rick1zoo2

no pictures and now no suvenier either

Green Circle

rick1zoo2 wrote:

Green Circle wrote:

I can't do this....



Only because I think there is a character limit....

I could write a book. or a doctoral thesis for psychiatry

Oh I am sure I could be a co-writer or at least a large contributor

QuarterToTen

:corn:

SPEEDY MCCREADY

Words that make my skin crawl.

Kathy: Does this outfit look Ok?

After 15 years you would think she would figure out..

I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU WEAR TO WORK!!!!

SPEEDY MCCREADY

And one day.
One day, when I grow a pair of ole's.
I am going to have this conversation, with my bride.


Kathy: Do these pants make my ass look big?
SPEEDY: No, but they make your tits look small!

One day.

SPEEDY MCCREADY

rick1zoo2 wrote:

no pictures and now no suvenier either

Last night she called to tell me the family was going out for dinner.
At an $11 all you can eat buffet.

An $11 buffet?

They are LIVING IT UP!!!!!

Green Circle

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

And one day.
One day, when I grow a pair of ole's.
I am going to have this conversation, with my bride.


Kathy: Do these pants make my ass look big?
SPEEDY: No, but they make your tits look small!

One day.

reminds me of this song....

I don't take no crap from anybody
[else but you]
I wear the pants around here
[when I'm finished with your laundry]
Cuz I'm a guy you don't wanna fight
[When I say "Jump", you say "Yeah right!"]
I'm the man of this house
[until you get home]
And I can have sex anytime
[that you want it]

Cuz I'm a man who has needs
[but there not that important]
And don't expect any flowers from me
[Cuz if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelry]
I'm the King of my castle
[when you're not around]

SPEEDY MCCREADY

Ok, so 2-3 weeks ago I tell her we are out of fabric sheets, laundry sheets, bounce, you know what I mean. She says she will pick some up ( I buy the food, she buys the nonsense). So a couple of weeks go by, and still no fabric sheets. Yesterday we are at the store and I make a Bee-Line to the fabric sheets, and throw 2 boxes in the cart.

She looks at me and says: Don't buy those, they are too expensive.
$2 fabric sheets are too expensive? She tells me she has coupons(but not with her). Point is, in 2-3 weeks she has not picked up the stupid fucking fabric sheets.
Back and forth we go, and needless to say, I don't get to buy the fucking god damned fabric sheets, that would have cost me $4.

Well 12 hours later, at 6:30am this morning, I am back in the store. And the 1st fucking thing I throw in the cart?

FUCKING FABRIC SHEETS!!!!!

LloydXmas

nothing to bitch about lately. trying to figure out how she puts up with all my bullshit.

SPEEDY MCCREADY

LloydXmas wrote:

nothing to bitch about lately. trying to figure out how she puts up with all my bullshit.

In the last week I have dropped BIG money on my little backyard overhaul, landscaping adventure. Tools, grass seed, lawn patch, top soil, mulch, borders, pavers, fire pit, etc. I cant get out of Menards without dropping $80. The fucking tools are killing me! And I am in Menards 2-3 times a day!

Yet I cant buy $4 worth of fabric sheets and be done with it?

Wma31394

LloydXmas wrote:

nothing to bitch about lately. trying to figure out how she puts up with all my bullshit.

Man..you said it best..

81

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

Ok, so 2-3 weeks ago I tell her we are out of fabric sheets, laundry sheets, bounce, you know what I mean. She says she will pick some up ( I buy the food, she buys the nonsense). So a couple of weeks go by, and still no fabric sheets. Yesterday we are at the store and I make a Bee-Line to the fabric sheets, and throw 2 boxes in the cart.

She looks at me and says: Don't buy those, they are too expensive.
$2 fabric sheets are too expensive? She tells me she has coupons(but not with her). Point is, in 2-3 weeks she has not picked up the stupid fucking fabric sheets.
Back and forth we go, and needless to say, I don't get to buy the fucking god damned fabric sheets, that would have cost me $4.

Well 12 hours later, at 6:30am this morning, I am back in the store. And the 1st fucking thing I throw in the cart?

FUCKING FABRIC SHEETS!!!!!

i'm not even sure what brand we use....hell, i would have a hard time locating them in the store

LloydXmas

Wma31394 wrote:

LloydXmas wrote:

nothing to bitch about lately. trying to figure out how she puts up with all my bullshit.

Man..you said it best..

She's gonna be pissed when I get the Scarf, Seattle Stickers and No Code Dog Collar in the mail. hopefully I get the package before she does.

(I don't even wear a fucking scarf)

SPEEDY MCCREADY

81 wrote:

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

Ok, so 2-3 weeks ago I tell her we are out of fabric sheets, laundry sheets, bounce, you know what I mean. She says she will pick some up ( I buy the food, she buys the nonsense). So a couple of weeks go by, and still no fabric sheets. Yesterday we are at the store and I make a Bee-Line to the fabric sheets, and throw 2 boxes in the cart.

She looks at me and says: Don't buy those, they are too expensive.
$2 fabric sheets are too expensive? She tells me she has coupons(but not with her). Point is, in 2-3 weeks she has not picked up the stupid fucking fabric sheets.
Back and forth we go, and needless to say, I don't get to buy the fucking god damned fabric sheets, that would have cost me $4.

Well 12 hours later, at 6:30am this morning, I am back in the store. And the 1st fucking thing I throw in the cart?

FUCKING FABRIC SHEETS!!!!!

i'm not even sure what brand we use....hell, i would have a hard time locating them in the store

They were in my fucking cart.
And I fucking put them back on the shelf?
I might as well have been wearing a skirt and high heels at that very moment.


I should have bounced those fabric sheets off her forehead.

81

as i've told rival. , you have to get banned from shopping. it makes life so much better....until she hands you the reciept for a random pair of shoes. :fp:

Wma31394

However she did say my garage sale pricing was too low while sifting through junk in our garage..

Eddie Bauer Baby Bag - I price it at 15..maybe i get 10..She comes in and says "That was an $80 bag never really used and changes the sticker to like $50..Then proceeds to change like 10 others..

Im in the business of getting rid of my old shit..not price it too high and by the end of 2 days..load the junk back in my garage..I told her if shit is not looking like its gone by days end...75% off blue light special!!!

SPEEDY MCCREADY

81 wrote:

as i've told rival. , you have to get banned from shopping. it makes life so much better....until she hands you the reciept for a random pair of shoes. :fp:

I wont say I have banned her from grocery shopping with me.
But she knows I prefer going by myself.
I can get everything we need, hit 2-3 stores and still be done in an hour or two.
When she goes with me? She can spend 30 minutes looking at the different types of fucking spaghetti sauces!

Get_Right

My wife crashed our 2012 Acura RDX twice in the last month.
$5800 worth of damage. She is about to get dropped by the insurance co.

Then tells me at 5pm on Sunday that my 8 year old son needs to build a castle due on Monday while expecting me to create a mother's day spread at the same time.

Right, but I'm the asshole for getting upset. Yes dear. God bless em.

LloydXmas

Get_Right wrote:

My wife crashed our 2012 Acura RDX twice in the last month.
$5800 worth of damage. She is about to get dropped by the insurance co.

Then tells me at 5pm on Sunday that my 8 year old son needs to build a castle due on Monday while expecting me to create a mother's day spread at the same time.

Right, but I'm the asshole for getting upset. Yes dear. God bless em.

did you tell her to get back to work on monday?

guacamolejoe

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

81 wrote:

as i've told rival. , you have to get banned from shopping. it makes life so much better....until she hands you the reciept for a random pair of shoes. :fp:

I wont say I have banned her from grocery shopping with me.
But she knows I prefer going by myself.
I can get everything we need, hit 2-3 stores and still be done in an hour or two.
When she goes with me? She can spend 30 minutes looking at the different types of fucking spaghetti sauces!

My wife doesn't even waste time reading the labels & it still takes her 3x the time it takes me. Granted 45 years living in NYC, 11 years working for UPS & 13 years in the fire dept taught me how to move quickly & efficiently but still wtf :fp: . god forbid I try to rush her .