Children should be allowed to get bored

2

Comments

  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,675
    I was just thinking about how my six year old grand niece now has a one year old sister and the six year old helps with the baby. This seems to work well for both girls. My Mom grew up attending a one room school house- all elementary grades taught by one woman under one roof- and the older kids helped teach the younger ones. I'm convinced segregating kids by age is not the best way to go. I've heard of schools that are beginning to have mixed ages work together.
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • Blockhead
    Blockhead Posts: 1,538
    Who Princess wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    I know some people who allow their children virtually no free time - almost every minute packed with an event, practice, activity. The "go go go!" mentality.

    I loved, as a kid, having a big pad of paper and watercolors or the 64-crayon box of Crayolas, and just letting loose. Or writing my own stories, or in a journal. It was exercise for the brain and imagination.

    People - children included - are so bombarded with images and sounds and "look at me, look at this!" and...the mental therapy of just BEING (something like the stand and stare mentioned in the article) is just so healing and rejuvenating. Allows not just for growth but also problem-solving.

    Among my favorite times of day are the early mornings sitting by the balcony, Danny still sleeping, kitties just awakening, watching the city, and just thinking.
    I was thinking about this recently. Kids with incredible schedules--after school it's soccer, dance, music lessons, tutoring. When do kids get to go out and play?
    Whats the problem with kids having after school activities? Practice and all that you described is glorified play, just with an adult present/structure.
    I am not sure what problem you are getting at?
    Practive/activity = play, right?
  • Blockhead
    Blockhead Posts: 1,538
    brianlux wrote:
    I was just thinking about how my six year old grand niece now has a one year old sister and the six year old helps with the baby. This seems to work well for both girls. My Mom grew up attending a one room school house- all elementary grades taught by one woman under one roof- and the older kids helped teach the younger ones. I'm convinced segregating kids by age is not the best way to go. I've heard of schools that are beginning to have mixed ages work together.
    Why are you "convinced" that segregating kids by age is not the best way to go...
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,772
    Blockhead wrote:
    Who Princess wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    I know some people who allow their children virtually no free time - almost every minute packed with an event, practice, activity. The "go go go!" mentality.

    I loved, as a kid, having a big pad of paper and watercolors or the 64-crayon box of Crayolas, and just letting loose. Or writing my own stories, or in a journal. It was exercise for the brain and imagination.

    People - children included - are so bombarded with images and sounds and "look at me, look at this!" and...the mental therapy of just BEING (something like the stand and stare mentioned in the article) is just so healing and rejuvenating. Allows not just for growth but also problem-solving.

    Among my favorite times of day are the early mornings sitting by the balcony, Danny still sleeping, kitties just awakening, watching the city, and just thinking.
    I was thinking about this recently. Kids with incredible schedules--after school it's soccer, dance, music lessons, tutoring. When do kids get to go out and play?
    Whats the problem with kids having after school activities? Practice and all that you described is glorified play, just with an adult present/structure.
    I am not sure what problem you are getting at?
    Practive/activity = play, right?
    The issue is that they are constantly guided and regimented that way. I mean, of course there is nothing wrong with some organized activities, but many parents these days have their kids' entire lives regimented and scheduled and supervised. Kids really do need time just to play. To not be supervised and directed and scheduled. I believe that not allowing that really harms the development of their sense of independence and self-sufficiency. For life.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Thirty Bills Unpaid
    Thirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    Balance.

    While I agree that kids can become over-routined, just because current kids' daily life is different from ours doesn't mean it is worse.

    Scheduled activities are important as is free time. I see the value of a defined and guided experience just as I see the value of a free flowing experience without any adult intervention.

    I also think adults are too quick to step in when things go sideays- let the kids work it out. How the hell are they going to be able to work things out later when mom, dad, and the teacher aren't around?

    * Along the lines of my last statement... A move in education- which I agree with- is to stop providing the problem for the students and instead have them figure out: (1) what the problem and (2) its perameters are... and then (3) the solution. For example: providing a video or picture of soil erosion... having the kids determine what is happening, why and how it is happening, what the consequences might be from what is happening, and what to do about it.

    The future needs thinkers capable of thinking. We need to provide as many opportunites for kids to think on their own instead of us doing it for them all the time.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Thirty Bills Unpaid wrote:
    Balance.

    While I agree that kids can become over-routined, just because current kids' daily life is different from ours doesn't mean it is worse.

    The future needs thinkers capable of thinking. We need to provide as many opportunites for kids to think on their own instead of us doing it for them all the time.
    Agreed on your first part. I don't think anyone's villifying one way or the other - or any others - just not a bombardment of activities and being continuously on the go.

    As to the last part, agreed again.

    (and let's hope WE are not having our thinking done for us either - as adults, we need to practice our preachings, otherwise we're just squawkboxes)
  • Blockhead
    Blockhead Posts: 1,538
    Thirty Bills Unpaid wrote:
    Balance.

    While I agree that kids can become over-routined, just because current kids' daily life is different from ours doesn't mean it is worse.

    Scheduled activities are important as is free time. I see the value of a defined and guided experience just as I see the value of a free flowing experience without any adult intervention.

    I also think adults are too quick to step in when things go sideays- let the kids work it out. How the hell are they going to be able to work things out later when mom, dad, and the teacher aren't around?

    * Along the lines of my last statement... A move in education- which I agree with- is to stop providing the problem for the students and instead have them figure out: (1) what the problem and (2) its perameters are... and then (3) the solution. For example: providing a video or picture of soil erosion... having the kids determine what is happening, why and how it is happening, what the consequences might be from what is happening, and what to do about it.

    The future needs thinkers capable of thinking. We need to provide as many opportunites for kids to think on their own instead of us doing it for them all the time.
    I see nothing wrong with adults stepping in when things so sideways...
    Simple reason is because I as the Parent (as most do) have the BEST intrest of my child when making decisions or intervening.
    there are ways to do that and also having your child work it out. Kids have a very hard time stepping out of their comforzone without seeing it done or reinforeced at home with out some assistance.
  • Blockhead
    Blockhead Posts: 1,538
    hedonist wrote:
    Agreed on your first part. I don't think anyone's villifying one way or the other - or any others - just not a bombardment of activities and being continuously on the go.

    As to the last part, agreed again.

    (and let's hope WE are not having our thinking done for us either - as adults, we need to practice our preachings, otherwise we're just squawkboxes)
    What is "bombardment of activities" and why is that bad?
    I don't understand how being ACTIVE is somehow BAD now...
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Blockhead wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    Agreed on your first part. I don't think anyone's villifying one way or the other - or any others - just not a bombardment of activities and being continuously on the go.

    As to the last part, agreed again.

    (and let's hope WE are not having our thinking done for us either - as adults, we need to practice our preachings, otherwise we're just squawkboxes)
    What is "bombardment of activities" and why is that bad?
    I don't understand how being ACTIVE is somehow BAD now...
    I don't believe I've said that being active is bad. As I've mentioned, it's about being so overscheduled-out-the-ass that there's no downtime to just breathe, and think, and enjoy some truly free time.
  • Thirty Bills Unpaid
    Thirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    Blockhead wrote:
    Thirty Bills Unpaid wrote:
    Balance.

    While I agree that kids can become over-routined, just because current kids' daily life is different from ours doesn't mean it is worse.

    Scheduled activities are important as is free time. I see the value of a defined and guided experience just as I see the value of a free flowing experience without any adult intervention.

    I also think adults are too quick to step in when things go sideays- let the kids work it out. How the hell are they going to be able to work things out later when mom, dad, and the teacher aren't around?

    * Along the lines of my last statement... A move in education- which I agree with- is to stop providing the problem for the students and instead have them figure out: (1) what the problem and (2) its perameters are... and then (3) the solution. For example: providing a video or picture of soil erosion... having the kids determine what is happening, why and how it is happening, what the consequences might be from what is happening, and what to do about it.

    The future needs thinkers capable of thinking. We need to provide as many opportunites for kids to think on their own instead of us doing it for them all the time.
    I see nothing wrong with adults stepping in when things so sideways...
    Simple reason is because I as the Parent (as most do) have the BEST intrest of my child when making decisions or intervening.
    there are ways to do that and also having your child work it out. Kids have a very hard time stepping out of their comforzone without seeing it done or reinforeced at home with out some assistance.

    There are definitely times when parent/adult intervention is essential... just not at the first sign of trouble as many are apt to do. Guide kids through the experience and have them work through the process versus jumping to the solution for them without having them move through the various steps necessary to deal with the source of conflict appropriately.

    I would be so bold as to suggest that any adults who deal with conflict poorly did not have the background that afforded them the opportunity to deal with it in the earlier phases of their life. In short... mother hen always ran in the moment any tension presented itself without allowing the young one to spread their wings and attempt to deal with it on their own.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • Blockhead
    Blockhead Posts: 1,538
    hedonist wrote:
    Blockhead wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    Agreed on your first part. I don't think anyone's villifying one way or the other - or any others - just not a bombardment of activities and being continuously on the go.

    As to the last part, agreed again.

    (and let's hope WE are not having our thinking done for us either - as adults, we need to practice our preachings, otherwise we're just squawkboxes)
    What is "bombardment of activities" and why is that bad?
    I don't understand how being ACTIVE is somehow BAD now...
    I don't believe I've said that being active is bad. As I've mentioned, it's about being so overscheduled-out-the-ass that there's no downtime to just breathe, and think, and enjoy some truly free time.
    Can you give me an example of being overscheduled out the ass (experience)
    I say this because my kids are extremely active with activities (soccer,softball,art class,girl scouts). They have something everyday. BUT they also have a TON of down time...
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    edited March 2013
    Parents know their kids the best...
    just don't see how anyone can say it should be this way or that.

    Personally I thought the article was silly. Either you are a creative person or you are not.
    You excel at what you are good at, you choose to occupy your time with things
    you will succeed in.

    Children are experimenting in just that. Finding what they like.
    They try many things, stick with a few. This is play.
    Play's not going back to statue maker.

    As far as boredom a direct link to creativity, I think living is period.
    The creative mind finds it's way no matter how busy the body is.
    Post edited by pandora on
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,675
    Blockhead wrote:
    brianlux wrote:
    I was just thinking about how my six year old grand niece now has a one year old sister and the six year old helps with the baby. This seems to work well for both girls. My Mom grew up attending a one room school house- all elementary grades taught by one woman under one roof- and the older kids helped teach the younger ones. I'm convinced segregating kids by age is not the best way to go. I've heard of schools that are beginning to have mixed ages work together.
    Why are you "convinced" that segregating kids by age is not the best way to go...
    Partly from my own limited experience- I taught a 5/6th grade combo for two years and saw how having multiple grades worked well- but even more so from talking with other teachers who taught multiple-graded classes who were very enthusiastic about the arrangement. But I'm not a highly qualified education expert so maybe instead of "convinced" I should have said "fairly certain".
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Blockhead wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    I don't believe I've said that being active is bad. As I've mentioned, it's about being so overscheduled-out-the-ass that there's no downtime to just breathe, and think, and enjoy some truly free time.
    Can you give me an example of being overscheduled out the ass (experience)
    I say this because my kids are extremely active with activities (soccer,softball,art class,girl scouts). They have something everyday. BUT they also have a TON of down time...
    Fer the love of Pete, we're not on opposing sides here. I've talked about and supported the idea of balance. Downtime. As you mentioned above. As I've mentioned.

    Activity is a wonderful thing, many of us agree on this. Moderation. Like with most anything.

    I don't know how else to put it, so apologies if my point's not getting across after all of my comments in this thread. Thought I was clear, but who knows anymore.
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,772
    Blockhead wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    Agreed on your first part. I don't think anyone's villifying one way or the other - or any others - just not a bombardment of activities and being continuously on the go.

    As to the last part, agreed again.

    (and let's hope WE are not having our thinking done for us either - as adults, we need to practice our preachings, otherwise we're just squawkboxes)
    What is "bombardment of activities" and why is that bad?
    I don't understand how being ACTIVE is somehow BAD now...
    A "bombardment of activities" is having organized activities (i.e. adult supervised scheduled activities or care) every day after school (which is already 7 hours of supervised activity) and/or on weekends. A LOT of kids are having to live this way these days. There is no time away from adults at all, and no time just for unorganized, unscheduled, unsupervised play. I'm all for putting kids in lessons or on sports teams, but from what I can tell, a lot of parents now have their kids involved in MANY sports teams or lessons, and if they're not there, they're under the direct supervision of their parents, out and about, or going here or there, etc, thus taking up most to all of their free time with organized, supervised, and directed activity. IMO, this does not promote independence or self-reliance.

    My sister does this with her kids, and the result is that my niece and nephew are super clingy and way too emotionally dependent on their mom. They are easily bored, and seek out adults when they are bored instead of thinking of something fun to do on their own. It will not be helpful to them as they get older. They need more time just playing away from mom with their friends or each other or by themselves ... but at this point, they don't really want to be more than 30 feet from adult supervision. They NEVER have to come up with some way to entertain themselves, because someone else is always doing that for them. I'm concerned that they will not have a developed sense of independence, and will not be adequately self-sufficient when they're older. Plus, the boy is clearly going to be a huge momma's boy, so I feel bad for whoever it is he marries eventually! (but oh well. I've never said a word about it to my sister and never will.... my mom agrees with me, and has tried to bring it up gently, but it went nowhere. They'll just continue to have their entire lives directed, and they don't even know that there is another option).
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Jeanwah
    Jeanwah Posts: 6,363
    brianlux wrote:
    Blockhead wrote:
    brianlux wrote:
    I was just thinking about how my six year old grand niece now has a one year old sister and the six year old helps with the baby. This seems to work well for both girls. My Mom grew up attending a one room school house- all elementary grades taught by one woman under one roof- and the older kids helped teach the younger ones. I'm convinced segregating kids by age is not the best way to go. I've heard of schools that are beginning to have mixed ages work together.
    Why are you "convinced" that segregating kids by age is not the best way to go...
    Partly from my own limited experience- I taught a 5/6th grade combo for two years and saw how having multiple grades worked well- but even more so from talking with other teachers who taught multiple-graded classes who were very enthusiastic about the arrangement. But I'm not a highly qualified education expert so maybe instead of "convinced" I should have said "fairly certain".

    I've heard the same thing, that the "one room schoolhouse" should be brought back, that that sort of individualized learning definitely has its merits.
  • Jeanwah
    Jeanwah Posts: 6,363
    hedonist wrote:
    Blockhead wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    I don't believe I've said that being active is bad. As I've mentioned, it's about being so overscheduled-out-the-ass that there's no downtime to just breathe, and think, and enjoy some truly free time.
    Can you give me an example of being overscheduled out the ass (experience)
    I say this because my kids are extremely active with activities (soccer,softball,art class,girl scouts). They have something everyday. BUT they also have a TON of down time...
    Fer the love of Pete, we're not on opposing sides here. I've talked about and supported the idea of balance. Downtime. As you mentioned above. As I've mentioned.

    Activity is a wonderful thing, many of us agree on this. Moderation. Like with most anything.

    I don't know how else to put it, so apologies if my point's not getting across after all of my comments in this thread. Thought I was clear, but who knows anymore.

    I thought you were clear, hedonist and I agree with you. Too much scheduling every minute of a kid's time takes away any sort of freedom a kid has. And isn't childhood supposed to be about that free time to "just be a kid"? My nephew is overscheduled-out-the-ass, he has sports, music lessons and hockey practice at night. So when does the kid do his homework, daydream, do anything else? Is his childhood being stolen out from under him (by his parents no less, who want to live vicariously through him, because they didn't achieve super stardom athlete when they were kids)?
  • musicismylife78
    musicismylife78 Posts: 6,116
    i agree with this article, and think it also extends beyond children into anyone who is creative, adults as well. Theres just so much stuff you can do. Watch a Breaking Bad marathon, or watch Mad Men, you can go on your Ipad, you can skype, and use facebook, you can look on wikipedia, you can listen to music, you can download music and movies.

    My own creativity is frequently, and daily hampered by these options. Either I can sit down and do my art, or I can go watch the latest Game of Thrones. I can draw and think or I can listen to music.

    We as a society dont like to get bored anymore. Watch any tv show nowadays. Theres the quick cuts, one scene for 2 seconds, then another scene. And the pace of the music world online also mirrors this. Im sure you all grew up in an age when it was hard to get music, when you got only a few albums a year, and you listened to that one album over and over again. Nowadays, the blogs and websites tout a new band and album daily. And we have access to every single album ever recorded, FOR FREE.

    Part of the creative process is to sit and think, to allow your mind to wander, to just let it go where it wants to go. And if you are constantly worrying about tweets and facebook updates thats a problem.
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,772
    musicismylife78 wrote:
    i agree with this article, and think it also extends beyond children into anyone who is creative, adults as well. Theres just so much stuff you can do. Watch a Breaking Bad marathon, or watch Mad Men, you can go on your Ipad, you can skype, and use facebook, you can look on wikipedia, you can listen to music, you can download music and movies.

    My own creativity is frequently, and daily hampered by these options. Either I can sit down and do my art, or I can go watch the latest Game of Thrones. I can draw and think or I can listen to music.

    We as a society dont like to get bored anymore. Watch any tv show nowadays. Theres the quick cuts, one scene for 2 seconds, then another scene. And the pace of the music world online also mirrors this. Im sure you all grew up in an age when it was hard to get music, when you got only a few albums a year, and you listened to that one album over and over again. Nowadays, the blogs and websites tout a new band and album daily. And we have access to every single album ever recorded, FOR FREE.

    Part of the creative process is to sit and think, to allow your mind to wander, to just let it go where it wants to go. And if you are constantly worrying about tweets and facebook updates thats a problem.
    I agree with everything you said, except for the listening to music part. Listening to music for me inspires creativity, and is in and of itself is a very fulfilling activity that does allow ones mind to wander and think!
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • musicismylife78
    musicismylife78 Posts: 6,116
    oh i agree totally with you that listening to music is important, fulfilling, and inspires creativity, but for me, in general its still a passive activity. Its listening to someone else's art and creativity, when I should be doing my own. I dont know if you are a fan of Tool, but they are a band who's explicit goal is exactly what you said, to inspire the listener to think and become creative. But for me, its just as passive as anything else mentioned. Im inspired by Mad Men for example. The elaborate set designs, the clothes and fashion, the way they talk, the writing, the acting. The same could be said for a show like Breaking Bad. Beautiful writing, directing and cinematography. You couldnt ask for a better role model in terms of what does high quality art in 2013 look and sound like. All are essentially fuel for my creativity, but its passive. Im sitting around watching someone else's creative expression.

    The fact we have so many things to waste our time on is the maddening and frustrating part of it all. I have so many things to waste my time on. And all are excuses for me not being creative. As I said, im sure im not the only person here, or in the world, who's said, I want to do some painting and drawing but then get sucked into the 500 channels on HDTV. Its ridiculous when you think about it

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