Depression

pandora

I'm learning a lot about depression when I thought I knew much from my own bouts.
I never took meds but I see now from others they can really work, changes how the world looks,
gives one the chance, desire, motivation to learn coping skills, make life changes,
reach out to loved ones or for professional help.
My experience, how I felt about myself was the root to my depression.
Learning to forgive myself and others.
Once I took the focus off of me my depression got better.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

been battling it for most of my adult life, man. I understand. I went through a period, before I went on meds and started to see a shrink, where I could barely do anything at all. I love my daughters with all my being, but when my first daughter was about 1, I couldn't even be around her I was so sad. I'd come home from work and go straight to bed, didn't even eat (and that's a big deal fo me!). I'm so glad I sought help before they were old enough to see me like that and think "what's wrong with daddy?".

I mean, it's not all rosey. It's still a battle every single day. Even with meds and occasional therapy. You can't just will it away like a lot of people think. I have found that the best way for me to deal with it is to just let it happen. Find what makes you happy in times of sorrow. I found that I can't listen to any solo Ed stuff when I'm like that. I have to listen to Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam, or Queens of the Stone Age; something up beat. I make myself play with my daughters, even if I don't want to, because I know once I start, it will make me forget, even if for just a moment. I go for a walk and revel in the splendor of nature and all the good that surrounds me. I have considered suicide more times than I even know. I still do. But I know that's not the answer. All that will do is transfer my pain to others. Which is not fair. And all I think of is my daughters getting married without their dad, or graduating, or even now with ballet recitals, etc. it goes on. you get my drift.

do NOT fall into the trap of self medicating. I actually did that just last night, and last Thursday too. I struggle with this often. I was depressed about work (I fucking hate my job), and I'm in a funk of life boredom. My own life. I love my life with my kids and my wife, but my own personal existence is pretty much non existent. So I went out and bought a small bottle of rye (13 oz), and drank it down. I feel like shit today, physically and emotionally. My wife commented this morning "your rye problem is rearing its head again". So that's my wake up. If it bothers her, AND me, then give my head a shake.

Just find what makes you happy and do it. It won't make the pain or sadness go away, it will just make it easier to deal with. It's terribly difficult. I compare it to working out. Most people have to drag themselves to do it, but once they do, they feel better about it. Same with your heart and mind. You have to keep them in shape too, and it isn't easy.

Darwinspeed to you my friend.

RKCNDY

Yes, and it sucks when you are on a path to gain acceptance and people who have never experienced it, shove it back in your face and say, "suck it up". Fuck those idiots.

I do commend you for being brave and admitting your struggles.

I don't take happy pills anymore, they are great to help pull you out of the depths, but they can make you feel numb when you are getting better.

It will get better, find an outlet and immerse yourself in it, music, reading, writing, creating...something. Do something you have always wanted to try, sometimes the brain craves something so different and unique to kick-start it.

{{{HUGS}}} to you, we are here for you!

Hugh Freaking Dillon

RKCNDY wrote:

Yes, and it sucks when you are on a path to gain acceptance and people who have never experienced it, shove it back in your face and say, "suck it up". Fuck those idiots.

I do commend you for being brave and admitting your struggles.

I don't take happy pills anymore, they are great to help pull you out of the depths, but they can make you feel numb when you are getting better.

It will get better, find an outlet and immerse yourself in it, music, reading, writing, creating...something. Do something you have always wanted to try, sometimes the brain craves something so different and unique to kick-start it.

{{{HUGS}}} to you, we are here for you!

THIS. I'm going to buy a uke and learn Ed's Uke songs. I guess I'm going to have to buy the vinyl again though to get the song book, I gave mine away in rbrum's draw!

mikalina

Byrnzie wrote:

...sucks.


Feeling like you have nothing to offer, and nothing to look forward to.


Sometimes it just takes hold of you, and you can't shake it.


Anyone else ever feel this way?

Yes, I do.... especially during the cold dark winter months. For many reasons the month of february is the worst for me. Usually it will last a short while but it's a horrible feeling.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

A lot of good people on here- very passionate regarding the plight of people and the world. I think many forms of depression are out there, but perhaps the one that some of the people who have spoken on here stems from this depth of care.

For example, sometimes I make the mistake of clicking on a story I shouldn't read. The news, at first, angers me. Then, I become numb. If my experience is common, it seems as if the stories we read of and the things we experience begin to 'pile on' and... eventually... the weight becomes too great and we succumb to that feeling where we begin to hate everything- including ourselves.

Once mired in that state of loathing, it's tough to experience joy. It literally is work to climb out of the hole you feel you have fallen in. But the key is... at every moment of your low... one must remember the feeling is temporary and eventually... you'll be feeling much better about everything.

eeriepadave

I get depressed a lot. Being lonely sucks~ :(

Matt of Tassie

Depression effects so many people unfortunately (including me)but the good news is that there is a lot more help around these days then there once was. I took far too long to admit to myself that there was something wrong and finally got some help. For me I have a genetic ‘hand me down’ that makes me susceptible to bouts of depression so I need to be aware and recognise triggers. I don’t walk around telling everyone about my issues but I do have one confidante who I talk to when I need to talk about things and I find this helps.

I know this sound like a cliché but there is a certain song on Avocado that made me finally seek help and when I do feel like I need a ‘ pick me ‘ I go straight to that song to help me focus on what needs to be done. I owe so much to the lyrics of that song and I no words can ever express my gratitude.

That song is Life Wasted

Thoughts_Arrive

Byrnzie wrote:

...sucks.


Feeling like you have nothing to offer, and nothing to look forward to.


Sometimes it just takes hold of you, and you can't shake it.


Anyone else ever feel this way?

I've been going through depressive moods and anxiety for months now.
I am seeing my Psychologist weekly.
I have never been this bad, my worst ever rut. I have no confidence for anything at the moment.
This past week has been one of my best in a very long time, the depression and anxiety were almost gone (and a week without suicidal thoughts yay!) but kinda back now it is the weekend and it is when I feel lonely, got my best friends gig tomorrow which is something to look forward to.
The worst part is I feel like I am lost and do not know who I am, it is like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and every day is the same. I've even been thinking about developing a heroin habit (but the sight of needles makes me feel sick and anxious) or abusing over the counter drugs.

P.S. REM - Automatic For The People, helped me a lot last weekend.

g under p

Caveeze wrote:

rent a puppy or kitten

thank me later..

I absolutely agree that pets help in down times. Just today I took Snoopy our Datsun dog with me to pick up one of the kids. Just seeing his excitement in leaving the house and heading out on the road picked up my spirits. Then also sometimes I'll go downstairs, stare into our 125 gallon tank and wish sometimes I could just jump in and become one of the many discus fish in the tank.

Last resort Ill get my Bose headphones and listen to some RUSH. :idea:

Peace

drinkbigredinstead

Byrnzie wrote:

...sucks.


Feeling like you have nothing to offer, and nothing to look forward to.


Sometimes it just takes hold of you, and you can't shake it.


Anyone else ever feel this way?

YES. Even my children, who I love more than my own life, couldn't bring me out of it. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I went through a very dark time, I understand.

This is a wonderful community, with wonderful people who would be willing to help in any way they can.

Byrnzie

Annafalk wrote:

I think it's important not to get isolated, try to collect strength from being with good people.
Ease your heart and talk about the problems with someone who can listen.
Somedays can just be so heavy and then another day the feeling is so different the sun is there and you can't really understand why you felt so bad.( I've also felt it like you describe it)
I hope you feel better soon!

Yeah, I spoke to a friend the other day on the phone and she was great. Made me see things clearly. Sometimes you just need to hear that voice of reason to be able to see through the fog.

Byrnzie

By the way, you're all great.

Love everyone of you.

brianlux

Byrnzie wrote:

By the way, you're all great.

Love everyone of you.

Love to you too, Byrnzie. Glad to hear someone was there to help you see your way!