Depression
Byrnzie
Posts: 21,037
...sucks.
Feeling like you have nothing to offer, and nothing to look forward to.
Sometimes it just takes hold of you, and you can't shake it.
Anyone else ever feel this way?
Feeling like you have nothing to offer, and nothing to look forward to.
Sometimes it just takes hold of you, and you can't shake it.
Anyone else ever feel this way?
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It's often good to face our negative thoughts, I mean they exist for a reason, we just need to find it (the reason), and too often I feel we just ignore or try and hide our negative thoughts, so never really getting to the 'cause', next thing you know they are pumping us with pills masking the issues.
I'm just generally speaking,
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2
2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
thank me later..
Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
but, pets DO help
Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
Sometimes, I just HATE my cat. It's been 12 years, and he's old. He doesn't help anything.
He gets separation anxiety when I leave, he is always sick, and poor kitty. I can't keep buying him Valiums
I'm depressed thinking about his furry ness. He is really an 8,000$ cat. Maybe more, it has been awhile since I added up the vet bills.
I really wish I would have left him with my ex, but this cat would have followed me! They don't always help :(
yes. pretty much ight now actually
Ease your heart and talk about the problems with someone who can listen.
Somedays can just be so heavy and then another day the feeling is so different the sun is there and you can't really understand why you felt so bad.( I've also felt it like you describe it)
I hope you feel better soon!
I've posted about this before. Depression really sucks. Medication helps a lot of people. I like therapy better. Whatever works. I keep meaning to try meditation. Good luck.
I hate to quote myself. But depression is a natural emotion. How can or could any one ever experience a moment of joy with out ever knowing depression? It's salty sweet. Keep reaching out, is my advice.
Hang in there, good fellow! Keeping you in good thoughts.
It's better having emotion than to pill them away...
just know that it taking so many specific things to be aligned to make us all who we are today. You HAVE a purpose, you are MEANT to offer something, we all just have to find out what it is.
It can be daunting at times, prioritize: what absolutely has to be addressed one way or the other by the end of the day?
many people I know let the reactions of others or guilt lead them to depression. feelings of not ever being good enough because someone or something was hard on us during the formative years. If you give a 100% of yourself in whatever you do, don't let someone make you think that it's not good enough. If you feel you didn't give a 100%, don't beat yourself up about it, just let it go and do better the next day. Life is about moving forward.
some people are more prone to depression and it's more of a challenge. I'm not prone to it (although about 1 day a month I don't want to leave the house or talk to anyone), but I'm prone to other things that have a negative impact on myself.
we all have baggage, just got to unpack, organize and repack. every now and then we can throw out something that no longer fits us.
New Orleans LA 7/4/95 reschedule 9/17/95
Chicago IL 1998, 10/9/00, 06/18/03, 05/16/06, 05/17/06
08/23/09, 08/24/09, Lolla 08/05/07
Champaign IL 4/23/03
Grand Rapids MI VFC 10/03/04
Grand Rapids MI 19May06
Noblesville IN 05/07/10 Cleveland OH 05/09/10
PJ 20 2011
Baltimore MD, Charlottesville VA, Seattle WA 2013
St. Louis MO, Milwaukee WI 2014
Tampa FL, Chicago IL, Lexington KY 2016
Missoula MT 2018
I had a rough time around 2005-06. And I was exploring a million avenues to get it out. not much worked until I went back to playing guitar. I wasnt very good, but I was able to write a bunch of music and basically metaphorically killed off my ex-girlfriend in the process.
Feeling like you have nothing to offer can really bog you down. But you're a very smart person Byrnzie.. just channel it somehow, maybe...
i Hope it gets better dude.
http://youtu.be/HUQDl2U6o8Y
http://youtu.be/beV-7svAfOQ
http://youtu.be/_Tpz1sq5vO0
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
yes. A lot more than I care to mention. Have had it for as long as I can remember. Sometimes worse than others.
I never took meds but I see now from others they can really work, changes how the world looks,
gives one the chance, desire, motivation to learn coping skills, make life changes,
reach out to loved ones or for professional help.
My experience, how I felt about myself was the root to my depression.
Learning to forgive myself and others.
Once I took the focus off of me my depression got better.
I mean, it's not all rosey. It's still a battle every single day. Even with meds and occasional therapy. You can't just will it away like a lot of people think. I have found that the best way for me to deal with it is to just let it happen. Find what makes you happy in times of sorrow. I found that I can't listen to any solo Ed stuff when I'm like that. I have to listen to Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam, or Queens of the Stone Age; something up beat. I make myself play with my daughters, even if I don't want to, because I know once I start, it will make me forget, even if for just a moment. I go for a walk and revel in the splendor of nature and all the good that surrounds me. I have considered suicide more times than I even know. I still do. But I know that's not the answer. All that will do is transfer my pain to others. Which is not fair. And all I think of is my daughters getting married without their dad, or graduating, or even now with ballet recitals, etc. it goes on. you get my drift.
do NOT fall into the trap of self medicating. I actually did that just last night, and last Thursday too. I struggle with this often. I was depressed about work (I fucking hate my job), and I'm in a funk of life boredom. My own life. I love my life with my kids and my wife, but my own personal existence is pretty much non existent. So I went out and bought a small bottle of rye (13 oz), and drank it down. I feel like shit today, physically and emotionally. My wife commented this morning "your rye problem is rearing its head again". So that's my wake up. If it bothers her, AND me, then give my head a shake.
Just find what makes you happy and do it. It won't make the pain or sadness go away, it will just make it easier to deal with. It's terribly difficult. I compare it to working out. Most people have to drag themselves to do it, but once they do, they feel better about it. Same with your heart and mind. You have to keep them in shape too, and it isn't easy.
Darwinspeed to you my friend.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I do commend you for being brave and admitting your struggles.
I don't take happy pills anymore, they are great to help pull you out of the depths, but they can make you feel numb when you are getting better.
It will get better, find an outlet and immerse yourself in it, music, reading, writing, creating...something. Do something you have always wanted to try, sometimes the brain craves something so different and unique to kick-start it.
{{{HUGS}}} to you, we are here for you!
- Christopher McCandless
THIS. I'm going to buy a uke and learn Ed's Uke songs. I guess I'm going to have to buy the vinyl again though to get the song book, I gave mine away in rbrum's draw!
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Yes, I do.... especially during the cold dark winter months. For many reasons the month of february is the worst for me. Usually it will last a short while but it's a horrible feeling.
For example, sometimes I make the mistake of clicking on a story I shouldn't read. The news, at first, angers me. Then, I become numb. If my experience is common, it seems as if the stories we read of and the things we experience begin to 'pile on' and... eventually... the weight becomes too great and we succumb to that feeling where we begin to hate everything- including ourselves.
Once mired in that state of loathing, it's tough to experience joy. It literally is work to climb out of the hole you feel you have fallen in. But the key is... at every moment of your low... one must remember the feeling is temporary and eventually... you'll be feeling much better about everything.
10/31/09- Philly
5/21/10- NYC
9/2/12- Philly, PA
7/19/13- Wrigley
10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
10/21/13- Philly, PA
10/22/13- Philly, PA
10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
4/28/16- Philly, PA
4/29/16- Philly, PA
5/1/16- NYC
5/2/16- NYC
9/2/18- Boston, MA
9/4/18- Boston, MA
9/14/22- Camden, NJ
9/7/24- Philly, PA
9/9/24- Philly, PA
Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
I know this sound like a cliché but there is a certain song on Avocado that made me finally seek help and when I do feel like I need a ‘ pick me ‘ I go straight to that song to help me focus on what needs to be done. I owe so much to the lyrics of that song and I no words can ever express my gratitude.
That song is Life Wasted
I've been going through depressive moods and anxiety for months now.
I am seeing my Psychologist weekly.
I have never been this bad, my worst ever rut. I have no confidence for anything at the moment.
This past week has been one of my best in a very long time, the depression and anxiety were almost gone (and a week without suicidal thoughts yay!) but kinda back now it is the weekend and it is when I feel lonely, got my best friends gig tomorrow which is something to look forward to.
The worst part is I feel like I am lost and do not know who I am, it is like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and every day is the same. I've even been thinking about developing a heroin habit (but the sight of needles makes me feel sick and anxious) or abusing over the counter drugs.
P.S. REM - Automatic For The People, helped me a lot last weekend.
I absolutely agree that pets help in down times. Just today I took Snoopy our Datsun dog with me to pick up one of the kids. Just seeing his excitement in leaving the house and heading out on the road picked up my spirits. Then also sometimes I'll go downstairs, stare into our 125 gallon tank and wish sometimes I could just jump in and become one of the many discus fish in the tank.
Last resort Ill get my Bose headphones and listen to some RUSH. :idea:
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)