A bullying story

LostUponMyWay

Sad story about Amanda Todd from Vancouver.

Constant bullying and ridicule destroyed this girls life. I wish people would think more about what they say to each other. I hope she found peace.

Watch the video......
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2012/10/11/20276656.html

polaris_x

thing is ... is this a bullying case or an extortion case? ... when i read the article in the star it seemed to indicate she was being blackmailed ... and then the person threatening her then posted her naked picture ... then her friends left her ...

sad story but beyond the bully ... it's a shame that her "friends" abandoned her ... that to me is just as an important issue ...

LostUponMyWay

polaris_x wrote:

it's a shame that her "friends" abandoned her ... that to me is just as an important issue ...

Agreed,

Someone was definitely extorting her, when her friends turned away from her it opened the doors for everyone else to single her out. Everyone makes mistakes and unfortunately she made hers on the internet.

polaris_x

LostUponMyWay wrote:

polaris_x wrote:

it's a shame that her "friends" abandoned her ... that to me is just as an important issue ...

Agreed,

Someone was definitely extorting her, when her friends turned away from her it opened the doors for everyone else to single her out. Everyone makes mistakes and unfortunately she made hers on the internet.

frig ... i just watched her video ... :( :(

a few other things:

1. why didn't the police go after the kid that was extorting her? ... there's gotta be a law that prevents someone from doing that
2. kids are absolutely cruel ...
3. i wonder if these kids really feel good about themselves now

cincybearcat

Man, being a parent gets tougher everyday.

My girl is 5. She is precious to me. I hope I can help her navigate all this nastiness and have a good life with much self-respect.

Thirty Bills Unpaid

Kids have it tough today. Back in my day... I had no idea if people were talking poorly of me. Facebook, Twitter, all these other social medias allow for instant access now. The old rotary phone just didn't have the same impact on my psyche.

The ostricizing of this poor girl makes me want to vomit and, as poor as it might be for me to say given I do not have the complete story... the adults in her life failed her a bit. There were many signs that needed to be heeded. I am wondering why charges weren't brought up and investigations occurring to stop the utter nonsense that this poor girl had to deal with. If it was my daughter and that shit was happening... oh boy... I might be the one in the news. No... I would be in the news. And I'd be icing my right and left hands.

People are just gawddam cruel. The leering smile as someone twists on a rope. Do any other species treat their kind as we do? For fuks sakes... I watched a pig save a drowning lamb a few weeks ago.

lukin2006

What about accountability from facebook, twitter etc...if their services are being used to distribute bullying, nasty photos and the like...do they not have a responsibility to put policies in place to help prevent this? or do they have a policy in place? and this girl failed to notify facebook what was going on.

Personally I don't use facebook, don't trust facebook and don't really need to know every little detail of people's life etc.

In this case of this girl there is so many questions that do need to be answered...if there was ever a case to be made for public enquiry into bullying this is the prime example of a good case.

unfortunately its too late for this girl and a very sad tragic ending...

hedonist

cincybearcat wrote:

Man, being a parent gets tougher everyday.

My girl is 5. She is precious to me. I hope I can help her navigate all this nastiness and have a good life with much self-respect.

For what it's worth, and from what I've seen/read, she's got a good role model in you.

cincybearcat

hedonist wrote:

cincybearcat wrote:

Man, being a parent gets tougher everyday.

My girl is 5. She is precious to me. I hope I can help her navigate all this nastiness and have a good life with much self-respect.

For what it's worth, and from what I've seen/read, she's got a good role model in you.

I appreciate it.

Man, I know all kids go through this is some form. Most kids bully and are bullied. But now, with cell phones 100% attached and facebook/twitter 24/7, etc.... there is almost no escaping it. Kids are cruel. Mostly because they are all insecure as they grow up and they don't want to be the injured gazelle that gets eaten alive so they make someone else that injured gazelle. What's the saying, if you don;t recognize the sucker at the poker table in the first minute, you are the sucker? Kids know that so they make sure someone else is seen as the sucker. And if you show empathy for the sucker, the pack turns on you.

Parents have to take these things seriously. The trick is making sure your kid understands what it feels like to be bullied and is strong enough to help stand up for others. If they truly know right from wrong, I believe they can get past the immaturity of bullying. That and they have to know that you have to fight back. I don;t mean violence...although I can see that happening in some instances, but I mean not just take it. You have to be a leader against that behavior. If 1 person is brave, they will attracted another. And once that 2nd person joins the leader, many more will follow. The bullied outnumber the bullies in the end.

Ah, I'm not looking forward to junior high and high school years. I know my little girl will be crying in her room about how someone has treated her or making fun of her at some point...it happens to everyone. I hope I have the strength to help her find her's.

Cosmo

cincybearcat wrote:

Man, being a parent gets tougher everyday.

My girl is 5. She is precious to me. I hope I can help her navigate all this nastiness and have a good life with much self-respect.

...
Hey, Amigo...
Use this as an example of what the consequences of Internet Access brings on. The Internet is a wonderful way to open up a window to the world... but, it also is an open window that allows the world to peer into your home.
Lessons that parents need to teach their kids is that if it goes out on the Internet... it stays out there... forever (meaning as long as the Internet remains in existance). One second of a mistake is frozen in time and will probably come back to haunt you in the future. Also, that being a 'Star' on Tosh.0 is NOT being famous.
...
Example: Remember MySpace?
Well, when it was fairly new, my little teenaged neice and her frineds thought it was important to have as many friends as possible... more friends, more popular, right?
On a visit to my sister's place, we were talking about MySpace and I looked up her daughter. Sure enough, there it was. She had accumulated about 300 friends (in a community where the total enrollment of the high school was about 450). The communications between her and her friends gave out very specific information... names, birth dates and photos of what they look like, names of friends, places they were going (mall, park, pizza, etc..) phone numbers and addresses. I told my sister and my brother in law that some one knows what they look like, their names, names of friends, where they were going to be at what time, etc...
She my neice came home from school... she saw us on the computer and was shocked we were looking at her page. She said we we invading her privacy. I explained what it really was... her giving out way too much data to way too many people.
Anyway, I convinced her to whittle her friends list to only those people she knew in her real world... delete all posts that included personal information, only allow friends to see her photos, change her profile photo to their dog and all the things that a sensible, paranoid person like me would do. And paranoid in the sense that I work in I.T. and we fend off tons of cyber attacks per year.
Now, I'm not saying to pour my paranoia into your daughter as she gets older... just use these types of tragedies in life as lessons to avoid the same fate as poor Amanda in her story.
Good luck with that.

comebackgirl

cincybearcat wrote:

hedonist wrote:

cincybearcat wrote:

Man, being a parent gets tougher everyday.

My girl is 5. She is precious to me. I hope I can help her navigate all this nastiness and have a good life with much self-respect.

For what it's worth, and from what I've seen/read, she's got a good role model in you.

I appreciate it.

Man, I know all kids go through this is some form. Most kids bully and are bullied. But now, with cell phones 100% attached and facebook/twitter 24/7, etc.... there is almost no escaping it. Kids are cruel. Mostly because they are all insecure as they grow up and they don't want to be the injured gazelle that gets eaten alive so they make someone else that injured gazelle. What's the saying, if you don;t recognize the sucker at the poker table in the first minute, you are the sucker? Kids know that so they make sure someone else is seen as the sucker. And if you show empathy for the sucker, the pack turns on you.

Parents have to take these things seriously. The trick is making sure your kid understands what it feels like to be bullied and is strong enough to help stand up for others. If they truly know right from wrong, I believe they can get past the immaturity of bullying. That and they have to know that you have to fight back. I don;t mean violence...although I can see that happening in some instances, but I mean not just take it. You have to be a leader against that behavior. If 1 person is brave, they will attracted another. And once that 2nd person joins the leader, many more will follow. The bullied outnumber the bullies in the end.

Ah, I'm not looking forward to junior high and high school years. I know my little girl will be crying in her room about how someone has treated her or making fun of her at some point...it happens to everyone. I hope I have the strength to help her find her's.

I agree with what Hedonist said

I think you're right...empathy is key and teaching them that they all have a responsibility to help take care of each other. It's not just up to the victim to protect themselves...they are all responsible for either creating an environment that supports bullying, or one that doesn't tolerate it. Modeling and self-esteem are key too.

Stories like this break my heart. I just can't understand how it can feel good to make someone else feel that bad

tvismyfriend

polaris_x wrote:

thing is ... is this a bullying case or an extortion case? ... when i read the article in the star it seemed to indicate she was being blackmailed ... and then the person threatening her then posted her naked picture ... then her friends left her ...

sad story but beyond the bully ... it's a shame that her "friends" abandoned her ... that to me is just as an important issue ...

It seems to be both. Hopefully the police are looking into this and are able to press charges. At the very least posting pictures of a seventh graders breast should be considered distribution of child pornography.

LostUponMyWay

Saw the news last night and the bullies have been posting things online even after her death. Unbelievable.....
How can anyone hate so much.
Police are looking into the matter now, even though it seems a bit late for that. I hope these punk kids get the lesson they deserve.

lukin2006

Amanda Todd: Bullied girl’s memorial pages targeted by negative messages

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/arti ... e-messages

WTF are the matter with people ... people are FUCKIN' STUPID ...

comebackgirl

lukin2006 wrote:

Amanda Todd: Bullied girl’s memorial pages targeted by negative messages

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/arti ... e-messages

WTF are the matter with people ... people are FUCKIN' STUPID ...

:( Sickening

brianlux

I'm told the number one reason for teen suicide is a result of bullying. That's horrible. It needs to stop!

PJ_Soul

This girl lived about 10 miles from me... locally, it's made a massive impact - all kinds of awareness events, etc. So awful... it's weird to see such a horrible thing blow up inti a media storm, and lead to a lot of public positive awareness .... don't know what to say about it other than condolences to the family... and shame on the school for not acting as it should have. Can't even keep track of all the stories of apathy on the part of local school admin that leads to some tragic circumstance or another. It's a real problem.

polaris_x

what i find just as disturbing is you have a group of kids who continue to harass amanda todd after her death ... even with the fear of charges and prosecution ... are you that hateful a person that you don't care that you could be charged? ... or are you hateful and stupid? ...

lukin2006

I am employed in the education system and am pretty confident that this would not have been ignored and tolerated within our system...its just a shamed that so many people let this poor girl suffer and now people are continuing to let her death be in vain. Just a sad storey.

LostUponMyWay

They all feel they are anonymous on the internet. Not so, and eventually the hammer is gonna fall on these little shits. I wish that the government and police could have been more involved from the beginning but if they can help someone else in a situation similar to this then I guess things are moving in the right direction.

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2012/10/14/20282016.html

B.C. Premier on new Bullying Law

http://www.vancouversun.com/life/After+Amanda+Todd+death+Christy+Clark+says+laws+needed+combat+bullying+with+video/7384108/story.html

comebackgirl

Her video is so heartbreaking...I had trouble sleeping after watching that. Heartbreaking and appalling to think people won't even let her be in peace after death...you would think her suicide would have been a wake up call. I guess empathy is lacking for a lot of them...or their defenses are high. I may have missed it in the article, but do they know who the online stalker was? Has the person been identified or charged?

polaris_x

comebackgirl wrote:

Her video is so heartbreaking...I had trouble sleeping after watching that. Heartbreaking and appalling to think people won't even let her be in peace after death...you would think her suicide would have been a wake up call. I guess empathy is lacking for a lot of them...or their defenses are high. I may have missed it in the article, but do they know who the online stalker was? Has the person been identified or charged?

that is unclear ... all we know is the police showed up at her house at 4 am to tell them her pictures were being spread on the internet ... but nothing on whether or not whoever was extorting her was ever identified ...

comebackgirl

polaris_x wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

Her video is so heartbreaking...I had trouble sleeping after watching that. Heartbreaking and appalling to think people won't even let her be in peace after death...you would think her suicide would have been a wake up call. I guess empathy is lacking for a lot of them...or their defenses are high. I may have missed it in the article, but do they know who the online stalker was? Has the person been identified or charged?

that is unclear ... all we know is the police showed up at her house at 4 am to tell them her pictures were being spread on the internet ... but nothing on whether or not whoever was extorting her was ever identified ...

I hope they find the person and prosecute...for the extortion and the bullying leading to her suicide as well as distribution of naked pictures of a minor. So sad what this girl had to endure

hedonist

I too am stunned at the out and out hate, lack of compassion, that people can have for another.

Cosmo, good on you for working to educate your niece. I wish someone had taught this girl that webcam shit at that young age is opening the door to a world of fucked-up-ness...that you don't just share your personal information - not to mention showing your tits - to some stranger online...that you need to consider the consequences.

She should've been allowed to rise above her error in judgement, but unfortunately, once something is put out there, it's out there for the long run, and those willing and able to pounce on it will, all while foaming at the mouth.

Timewaits4no1

I was realy saddened when my girl told me about this. People can be so cruel sometimes. To me, what she really needed was a friend, she seemed so alone. It made me think about a Peter Gabriel video. "Don't Give Up" If anyone reading this needs a friend or feels alone, find some1 to talk to, pm me if you don't know anybody. There are cool people in this world, you just need to find them...

Rest In Peace Amanda

polaris_x

anonymous has found the guy ... could affect ability to prosecute ...

Zoso

we should find the people sending hate mail on FB before and after her death, the guy that extorted the poor girl and other bullies and send hate mail to them on FB.. I don't understand how ppl are this horriblr towards other human's.. I mean I understand peer pressure but to the point of suicide and then still afterwards is just horrible on their part.. they should be ashamed of themselves and feel guilty.. hope they all get charged.

Drowned Out

A local radio personality just did his daily rant about focusing more on helping kids learn how to not be a victim, how to handle bullies, and raise their self esteem until they're above the abuse.....
He also mentioned that he thinks its wrong to make some kind of international celebrity/martyr out of someone who killed themselves because of bullying, because it sends the wrong message....

lukin2006

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/arti ... -tormentor

Hackers say they’ve found Amanda Todd’s tormentor


A group of hackers say they have tracked down a man they say is Amanda Todd’s tormenter.

The “hacktivists” are part of the group Anonymous and say they have found a man in his early 30s from New Westminster, B.C., who allegedly blackmailed the 15-year-old girl for pictures over the Internet.

MORE:Amanda Todd had talked to her mother about death

Anonymous, named one of the most influential people of the year by Time Magazine, posted the man’s name on the text-storing website Pastebin. “At the most this is the person who did this to Amanda Todd and at the least it’s another pedophile,” their post said. The hackers have also released a video on YouTube.

The teen from Coquitlam, B.C., committed suicide last Wednesday. In September she had posted a YouTube video that described bullying and sexual exploitation she faced over the Internet as early as the seventh grade. Todd’s YouTube post has over 3.5 million views.

MORE:Amanda Todd’s mom tweets, outrage on Facebook

In the video, Todd recounts how she flashed her breasts to an unknown man over a webcam. Todd says the man threatened to send the pictures of her breasts to friends and family, if she didn’t “put on a show” for him.

The group says the B.C. man visited a teen chat forum that claims to offer sexual advice for teens and a photo gallery called “Jailbait.”

So-called “jailbait” boards are scattered throughout the Internet. Dozens of users on the popular social media website Reddit refer to themselves as “ephebophiles” – adults who are attracted to teenagers. The “Jailbait” section of Reddit was created by one of the site’s “most active contributors,” says one Reddit user. The section has since been deleted.

Anonymous is a loosely organized group of hackers and activists from around the world who have been responsible for several high-profile cyber attacks. Two years ago, the group attacked MasterCard, PayPal and Visa websites after they refused to accept donations to WikiLeaks.

Police told The Canadian Press they were aware of the Anonymous claim.

“I'm not going to speak to anything beyond the fact that we are aware of what has been put on social media in regards to that name,” said Sgt. Peter Thiessen, spokesman for the RCMP.

Amanda’s mother, Carol Todd, has said police have been investigating leads about the Web stalker.

“Police investigated and investigated, it got traced to somebody in the United States,” Carol Todd was quoted saying by the Vancouver Sun. “But they never found him. Those people are very good at hiding their tracks.”

Said Thiessen: “We are following up every piece of information with the hope that we can gather enough evidence to lay an appropriate charge against those that we feel may have played some role.”

Zoso

apparently they were outed in a big way.. good. EDIT.. already posted oh well..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/1 ... 69792.html

lukin2006

Zoso wrote:

apparently they were outed in a big way.. good. EDIT.. already posted oh well..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/1 ... 69792.html

I just hope the police follow up and charge him ... unfortunately in Canada this guy will not get even close to what he deserves. Just makes me wonder why the police couldn't use their to get this guy before it ended tragically.