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Wedding speech - help please!

Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,389
edited March 2012 in All Encompassing Trip
So this weekend my best friend since 2nd grade is getting married. I'm the maid-of-honor, so I get to make the speech before dinner. I've never been so stressed out about anything in my life! I have a gazillion stories I could tell (most of them I probably shouldn't :lol: ) but I just want to make sure that it's funny and witty and to the point. My girlfriend has said on numerous occasions how excited she is to hear my speech, so the pressure is on. So anyone that's done this before have any tips for me? I'll probably have to bring a note card so that I don't ramble on and on, is that frowned upon?
WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2, Wrigley '24 N1 & 2
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  • polaris_xpolaris_x Posts: 13,559
    dear guests ... my name is cersei lannister and you are all traitors!! ... <insert evil laugh> ... end of speech

    :lol::lol:

    i have done one best man speech and what i did was take pictures from our years together and did a slide show and talked about stuff ... kept the focus off me and everyone loved it ... my only suggestion is keep it short and sweet ...
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    So this weekend my best friend since 2nd grade is getting married. I'm the maid-of-honor, so I get to make the speech before dinner. I've never been so stressed out about anything in my life! I have a gazillion stories I could tell (most of them I probably shouldn't :lol: ) but I just want to make sure that it's funny and witty and to the point. My girlfriend has said on numerous occasions how excited she is to hear my speech, so the pressure is on. So anyone that's done this before have any tips for me? I'll probably have to bring a note card so that I don't ramble on and on, is that frowned upon?


    I gave a best man's speech. I was blitzed so I have never watched the footage but I've heard about it. My only advice is don't get drunk before the speech! :lol:
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 between a rock and a dumb place Posts: 12,632
    whatever you do, do not drink before trying to give the speech.





    :lol:
  • Indifference71Indifference71 Chicago Posts: 14,874
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    So this weekend my best friend since 2nd grade is getting married. I'm the maid-of-honor, so I get to make the speech before dinner. I've never been so stressed out about anything in my life! I have a gazillion stories I could tell (most of them I probably shouldn't :lol: ) but I just want to make sure that it's funny and witty and to the point. My girlfriend has said on numerous occasions how excited she is to hear my speech, so the pressure is on. So anyone that's done this before have any tips for me? I'll probably have to bring a note card so that I don't ramble on and on, is that frowned upon?


    I haven't given a best man speech, but since I've been to about 25 weddings over the past 3-4 years, I feel like an expert. No shame in having a notecard, but don't just read word for word what you have written down. Don't tell any stories that are too inappropriate or embarrassing. Like someone else said, keep it short and sweet. Good luck!
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,389
    polaris_x wrote:
    dear guests ... my name is cersei lannister and you are all traitors!! ... <insert evil laugh> ... end of speech

    :lol::lol:

    i have done one best man speech and what i did was take pictures from our years together and did a slide show and talked about stuff ... kept the focus off me and everyone loved it ... my only suggestion is keep it short and sweet ...

    Oh man, I certainly hope this is not like the Red Wedding...I like my head!!! :lol:

    That would have been a great idea...but not enough time now :x

    I plan on having ONE glass of wine beforehand...enough to loosen up but not so much that I'll make an a$$ out of myself!
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2, Wrigley '24 N1 & 2
  • fifefife Posts: 3,327
    I have given about 4 best man speeches in my life but have written some for friends.

    1st_ make sure its about 2-3 minutes max
    2- give a funny story about something that happen but make sure it funny in a way that people who were not there would laugh. for example, at my best friends wedding i told a story about how one time on new years my friends once laughed at a guy who was lying on the ground in pain. the funny part was that the p[erson lying on the ground was his brother in law and he broke 2 ribs
    3- try to use a quote from a song. i once used a quote from thin air from pearl jam and then explain why you picked that quote and make sure it sweet.
    4-end it there
  • Monster RainMonster Rain Posts: 1,415
    Try not to mention that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That's generally a buzzkill at a wedding. Also, try not to mention how guys she dated before her husband. Other than that, I got nothing.
  • Pamela0222Pamela0222 Posts: 1,544
    I just gave my MoH speach on NYE, and after racking my brain for over a week writing and practicing this thing I ended up ad libbing the whole thing. My original speach just didn't go with the whole "feel" off the night and the vibe in the air. I did reference back to it a couple of times to say key points but that was about it. It's amazing how easily this will come to you as long as you remember that you're just talking to her, and telling her things that mean the most.

    This did help my out as a guideline on how to present the stories that I wanted to say. It might be worth you taking a look.

    http://www.aragia.com/wedding-speeches/maid-of-honour

    Good luck!!!
    The thing I like most about time is that it's not real. It's all in the head. Sure, it's a useful trick to use if you want to meet someone at a specific place in the universe and have tea or coffee- but that's all it is- a trick. There is no such thing as the past. It exists only in the memory. There is no such thing as the future. It exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate, the only thing they would ever say is "Now". That's what time it is. It's "Now". - Damien Echols
  • foodboyfoodboy Posts: 988
    well here is what not to do. at my nieces wedding her idiot friends decided it was funny to talk about how she never went to class as they stayed in their room all day. or how he never went home to his own apartment. do tell a couple of funny stories if you have them that don't involve the previous mentioned. keep it short and simple . make a toast to the couple and wish them good sex.
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,593
    I have been fortunate to always have the speeches come off well -- everyone told me after each of the 3 that I have done (2 weddings and a wake) how much they enjoyed it.

    I do like to drink but advise on not being drunk, because you may get emotional. While that is not always a bad thing it makes you difficult to understand/hear.

    I would have a glass of wine or 2, whatever it takes to loosen you up.

    I also strongly suggest practicing the speech a number of times before-hand and dont use your notes when you practice. You may find that what you automatically fill in to the parts you cannot remember will become better parts of the speech.

    For the event you should jot down 4-5 words, whatever will remind you of the 4-5 things you want to say.

    I also find self-deprecating humor with relation to the guest(s) of honor allows everyone to laugh, and to laugh at a story having to do with the guest(s) of honor, but at YOUR expense and hopefully it is something that shows how cool your friend is, how close you are, how much he loves her or something like that. Humor is excellent and I think it works consistently. (Of course the exceptions are when you say something you should not share with the group -- this is why rehearsing and not getting bombed before hand are vital.)

    The best wedding speeches I have heard say something nice about both parties, say something nice/funny about the gathered group of people and have some personal/funny story to relay.

    The worst wedding speeches have been too filled with inside jokes OR too filled with crying to understand wtf the speaker was saying. I have never been to the wedding where a bombshell is released or any sort of train-wreck of a speech happens. Maybe one day! :D

    Come up with a plan, practice it some and when you deliver you may not need your 4-5 words on a card. Be yourself and I am sure your friend will love it!
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • morgannspicermorgannspicer Posts: 266
    Just be yourself, make them laugh and talk to the guests like talking in conversation. And stay hydrated before your speech with lots of water...then drink like a fish afterwards.

    I did a little "gig" where I asked my Mom to get some used hotel room cards (can go to any hotel, they'll normally give them to you ask nicely) and during the speech I asked if there were any guests who had anything they wanted to come clean with the bride or groom.

    Before the wedding ceremony I gathered my groomsmen and gave them about fifteen room cards and said to keep one for themselves and then disperse them to other male guests in the room but definitely let them in on the joke during the speech.

    When fifteen dudes came up during my speech and put the hotel room cards in an empty coffee cup in front of the bride and groom's faces, it was priceless. And it'll get the crowd rolling on the floor.

    Soooooo...just an idea but it'll work, I guaran-damn-tee it :)
    05/19/06 Grand Rapids, MI
    05/07/10 Noblesville, IN
    09/03/11 Alpine Valley, WI
    09/04/11 Alpine Valley, WI
  • JK_LivinJK_Livin South Jersey Posts: 7,365
    The best advice given was to keep it short. The speech my best man made was way too long and the peanut gallery started to chime in.
    Alright, alright, alright!
    Tom O.
    "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"
    -The Writer
  • iamwishingyouawelliamwishingyouawell Posts: 121
    Mamasan23,

    I am a wedding photographer and I have heard countless speeches, but would say the best is always one touching personal story that will draw emotion. Have it relate to the growth of your friendship with the bride and her strengths. Tie that into how the groom will benefit from a lifetime of that strength and you can't go wrong.

    Best of luck to you and the couple!
    Love ain’t love until you give it up
  • uninnocent-uninnocent- Posts: 5,959
    DS1119 wrote:
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    So this weekend my best friend since 2nd grade is getting married. I'm the maid-of-honor, so I get to make the speech before dinner. I've never been so stressed out about anything in my life! I have a gazillion stories I could tell (most of them I probably shouldn't :lol: ) but I just want to make sure that it's funny and witty and to the point. My girlfriend has said on numerous occasions how excited she is to hear my speech, so the pressure is on. So anyone that's done this before have any tips for me? I'll probably have to bring a note card so that I don't ramble on and on, is that frowned upon?


    I gave a best man's speech. I was blitzed so I have never watched the footage but I've heard about it. My only advice is don't get drunk before the speech! :lol:
    My brother tells me my speech as his best man didn't go so well. I was eighteen and hammered. Don't get wasted until after the speech! I've got to start preparing one for July;I hope I take my own advice.
  • SatansFutonSatansFuton Posts: 5,399
    The best wedding toast I've ever seen came from an SNL sketch where Jason Sudeikis was playing a really drunk guy giving a toast. He sort of meanders through all kinds of strange things making for an uncomfortable toast, but the ending is classic.

    "Now, there's a sad statistic going around that says that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Well, the other 50%... end in death. I hope you two DIE!"
    "See a broad to get dat booty yak 'em, leg 'er down, a smack 'em yak 'em!"
  • neilybabes86neilybabes86 Posts: 16,057
    NO NOTES..FROM THE HEART..SHORT AND SWEET
    i post on the board of a band that doesn't exsist anymore .......i need my head examined.......
  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 40,041
    Be sure to include the line, "may all of your ups and downs happen between the sheets."

    Peace.
    09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN; 05/04/2024 & 05/06/2024, Vancouver, BC; 05/10/2024, Portland, OR;

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  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    morgannspicer wrote:
    Just be yourself, make them laugh and talk to the guests like talking in conversation. And stay hydrated before your speech with lots of water...then drink like a fish afterwards.

    I did a little "gig" where I asked my Mom to get some used hotel room cards (can go to any hotel, they'll normally give them to you ask nicely) and during the speech I asked if there were any guests who had anything they wanted to come clean with the bride or groom.

    Before the wedding ceremony I gathered my groomsmen and gave them about fifteen room cards and said to keep one for themselves and then disperse them to other male guests in the room but definitely let them in on the joke during the speech.

    When fifteen dudes came up during my speech and put the hotel room cards in an empty coffee cup in front of the bride and groom's faces, it was priceless. And it'll get the crowd rolling on the floor.

    Soooooo...just an idea but it'll work, I guaran-damn-tee it :)


    That's just pure awesomeness! :lol::lol:
  • bierlgregbierlgreg Posts: 12
    I have had the honor of being best man in four of my friend's weddings (one of which was by a best friend to my sister...I wrote a song for that one in lieu of a speech that I played with pictures scrolling on a projector...but that was an extra special occasion).

    I am an "off the cuff" type of guy and didn't prepare anything formal with the exception of the song, but in the others, I did think of a few anecdotal stories that I rehearsed in my head and thought of triggers to move from one subject to the next.

    I would also suggest not getting hammered before speaking...I did that once and some off color remarks came out that weren't planned...audience loved it, but it was kind of embarrassing.

    I would suggest mentioning something about the groom and tying him into the speech at least at some level...it is, after all, a wedding speech and not just a "she's my best friend because..." speech.

    No worries on crying...I'm a dude and cried a bit each time.

    Be real, be honest, be funny, be sincere...it will be a hit.

    Good luck!
    Fan, musician, student of life.
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,389
    Thank you all SO MUCH for your advice!!! I'm definitely not getting hammered before the speech and will tell a good clean funny story about us as kids and I think I'll say how I've never seen her as happy as she is with her hubby. I honestly don't know him very well so I can't say much about him but someone brought up a good point, this isn't about friends - it's about their wedding. My grandfather gave me some amazing advice when I got married so I think I'll end with that. I won't even need notes, but I like the idea of just a few words to jog my memory in case I go blank in front of all those people.

    THEN I DRINK MASS AMOUNTS OF LIQUOR!

    :lol:

    Thank you all again, I seriously feel better about it already!
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2, Wrigley '24 N1 & 2
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 42,422
    just need 2 phrases
    "Be excellent to each other"
    and
    "Party on dudes!"

    I was gonna use this at my one friends wedding but i wasn't picked as best man.
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
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    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
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    9/2/18- Boston, MA
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    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,389
    I just want to thank everyone again for all of your advice! I think the speech went well. I only had one glass of wine beforehand and while we were getting ready during the day I wrote down a couple notes to jog my memory during the speech. It was about 3 minutes long and I had a couple funny stories and was mushy in the right parts, ended on a strong note. I even had a couple people come up to me and tell me that I did a great job, so that really made me feel better.

    And then I drank mass amounts of Crown. hahahha :mrgreen:
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2, Wrigley '24 N1 & 2
  • Pamela0222Pamela0222 Posts: 1,544
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    I just want to thank everyone again for all of your advice! I think the speech went well. I only had one glass of wine beforehand and while we were getting ready during the day I wrote down a couple notes to jog my memory during the speech. It was about 3 minutes long and I had a couple funny stories and was mushy in the right parts, ended on a strong note. I even had a couple people come up to me and tell me that I did a great job, so that really made me feel better.

    And then I drank mass amounts of Crown. hahahha :mrgreen:

    YAY!!! I'm glad it went well for you! I can just imagine how relieve and happy you are that it's done with now.... (I know I was after the wedding) lol
    The thing I like most about time is that it's not real. It's all in the head. Sure, it's a useful trick to use if you want to meet someone at a specific place in the universe and have tea or coffee- but that's all it is- a trick. There is no such thing as the past. It exists only in the memory. There is no such thing as the future. It exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate, the only thing they would ever say is "Now". That's what time it is. It's "Now". - Damien Echols
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,303
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    I just want to thank everyone again for all of your advice! I think the speech went well. I only had one glass of wine beforehand and while we were getting ready during the day I wrote down a couple notes to jog my memory during the speech. It was about 3 minutes long and I had a couple funny stories and was mushy in the right parts, ended on a strong note. I even had a couple people come up to me and tell me that I did a great job, so that really made me feel better.

    And then I drank mass amounts of Crown. hahahha :mrgreen:
    Nice work!!!

    I had to do the best man speech once. Super nervous with the thought of getting up in front of 250 people...had a couple glasses of wine to take the edge off and as soon as I started almost all the nerves went away. Same thing when I have to do a presentation at work in front of a bunch of people...thinking about it is far more stressful than actually doing it.
  • DS1119DS1119 Posts: 33,497
    mca47 wrote:
    Same thing when I have to do a presentation at work in front of a bunch of people...thinking about it is far more stressful than actually doing it.


    So true.
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