I think it's really sweet that you are agonizing over the details. Maybe I'm oversimplifying this because I'm a romantic at heart (probably to a fault) but I think you just do what feels right and you'll know when the time is right. You are going to propose to her because you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, it doesn't matter how big/how expensive the ring is or where you propose or how long/short a time you wait.
I think it's really sweet that you are agonizing over the details. Maybe I'm oversimplifying this because I'm a romantic at heart (probably to a fault) but I think you just do what feels right and you'll know when the time is right. You are going to propose to her because you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, it doesn't matter how big/how expensive the ring is or where you propose or how long/short a time you wait.
Exactly.. but it still all needs to be perfect.. even though it will be no matter what.
I've even though about just buying the ring and having it on me at all times around her until the urge is just too much and I ask her at just the right moment when we are both being as cornily in love with each other as possible, even if it's most likely just one night on the living room couch.
Obviously it depends on the girl, but I was able to get a nice ring that she loves for a very good price. Why?? Because I didn't go with diamonds!!!
Now my situation was a little different in that I moved to Australia to be with her and to see if this would work out, with the knowledge that if I wanted to stay and be with her, we would have to get married before my 12 month Visa was up. So she knew I'd be asking, and she was fine without getting a ring, but I wanted to get her something anyway.
I was able to talk about it with her and *GASP* show her some ideas I was thinking of before I ordered! I decided on getting a ring with amethyst stones and ordered it from an online jewelry store. So while it might not be as 'fancy' as a store bought ring, it did the trick and was very affordable.
I can vouch for the fact that the ring is absolutely beautiful! It's white gold with amethyst stones, and the setting is stunning. Yes, he showed me some designs before he bought it, and no, I didn't mind.
My advice is to definitely find out what kind of jewelery she likes first. Don't spend a fortune on a diamond ring (and it's not the metal that makes it pricey - so yellow or white gold, or silver, or titanium doesn't make the price go up as much as a diamond from any other gem stone), if she doesn't like diamonds. I am SO not a jewelery girl - it just doesn't do anything for me, so the ring he gave me is absolutely perfect! It's simple and beautiful - so you need to find that out first.
As for spending a fortune on the wedding - well, that entirely depends on what you do - we are getting married in a little under two weeks - in the botanic gardens, then a small cocktail style reception in a function room at a local pub. They are doing 'mini meals' and finger food, and we are putting a tab on the bar. We have a family member taking the photos (check with family and friends - you might find a fantastic photographer who will do it for a great discount or even for free!) - My sister is a great photographer - she just did my part of my brother's wedding and the photos are REALLY good, and she's doing ours and putting them together in an album for our wedding gift. My Mum is making the cake - again, it helps to ask around - you might just find someone who can save you a fortune on a wedding cake. I bought my dress and the bridesmaids dresses online - http://www.lightinthebox.com and they are AMAZING! AND they set me back less than $500 including shipping for all of them.
All up we're looking at less than $3500 for close to 50 people.
In the end, all that matters is that you are going to spending the rest of your life with your best friend. Set yourself a realistic budget, expect to go over slightly, and enjoy the lead up. Make it fun and you'll get to enjoy celebrating with your friends and family, regardless of how much you've spent on the ring and the wedding.
Oh, and just for your info - our wedding rings are titanium, we both chose something we loved, and didn't spend a fortune on those either.
My brother spent close to $25000 on his wedding a couple of weeks ago, and he had no more fun (but a lot more stress!) than we will have, at a much lower cost.
OH! And yes - the surprise comes with the asking! My awesome fiance asked me on a weekend trip to Sydney - on a midnight stroll to see if we could walk all the way around the Opera House. We couldn't, but while we were sitting on a bench looking at the lights over the harbour and the bridge, he got down on one knee and gave a very lovely proposal. I knew he would ask at some point, but the setting and the timing were a complete surprise to me. It was amazing, and completely special. So even if she knows you're going to ask, the excitement comes in the form of the timing and location. Congratulations.
As long as it's a heartfelt proposal, and a good looking ring I can't see there being an issue. My friend proposed with a ring from Costco at a location that meant a lot to his fiancee so it all melded into one good memory for them both. It doesn't matter the cost of the ring, but the sentiment behind it.
Planning on popping the big question later this year, and had never even thought about what, where to look for a ring.
Is it still a standard one months pay you should plan on spending? Price isn't too big of a factor to me, but I don't really feel the need to spend more than a couple grand, money that could be going to more important things like our first home. She's not very materialistic at all, but it needs to be meaningful.
Probably won't happen until summer, but any good places/deals I should start checking out for rings? I'm clueless with jewelry. :?
We went together and looked at the rings, this was fun and exciting!
My original was white gold with a very small diamond, the ring in two parts,
the engagement and then wedding band that fit together in a lovely shape.
The ring was not a surprise but the actual proposal was back in 1980.
Our 10th anniversary was a big surprise emerald surrounded in diamonds...
this the ring I've worn the last 20+ years
I was still in college and too poor to buy my wife an engagement ring when we were married. 25 years later I asked her if she wanted a diamond ring. She said she would rather we go to Oakland from NJ to see Pearl Jam opening for the Rolling Stones. 60 shows later we are still going to shows. See you in Amsterdam and Berlin this summer.
She does live with me. I could wake her from her nap right now, or wait til this weekend and do it after a nice dinner and walk on a beach..
Thoughts?
a few months ago i brought it home w/ the intention of holding it a few days.....trust me..she will have it on by tonight .....
I don't know.. I've had this thing 3 days now.. Kind of want to put a little effort into it, but don't want to make it too obvious. She knows it's coming.
She does live with me. I could wake her from her nap right now, or wait til this weekend and do it after a nice dinner and walk on a beach..
Thoughts?
a few months ago i brought it home w/ the intention of holding it a few days.....trust me..she will have it on by tonight .....
I don't know.. I've had this thing 3 days now.. Kind of want to put a little effort into it, but don't want to make it too obvious. She knows it's coming.
Congrats yourself by the way!
very impressive...3 days ..i couldn't wait
anything u do will be great,so just go w/ your first choice...beach is nice
congrats to you my friend...good luck
i post on the board of a band that doesn't exsist anymore .......i need my head examined.......
Comments
I've even though about just buying the ring and having it on me at all times around her until the urge is just too much and I ask her at just the right moment when we are both being as cornily in love with each other as possible, even if it's most likely just one night on the living room couch.
My advice is to definitely find out what kind of jewelery she likes first. Don't spend a fortune on a diamond ring (and it's not the metal that makes it pricey - so yellow or white gold, or silver, or titanium doesn't make the price go up as much as a diamond from any other gem stone), if she doesn't like diamonds. I am SO not a jewelery girl - it just doesn't do anything for me, so the ring he gave me is absolutely perfect! It's simple and beautiful - so you need to find that out first.
As for spending a fortune on the wedding - well, that entirely depends on what you do - we are getting married in a little under two weeks - in the botanic gardens, then a small cocktail style reception in a function room at a local pub. They are doing 'mini meals' and finger food, and we are putting a tab on the bar. We have a family member taking the photos (check with family and friends - you might find a fantastic photographer who will do it for a great discount or even for free!) - My sister is a great photographer - she just did my part of my brother's wedding and the photos are REALLY good, and she's doing ours and putting them together in an album for our wedding gift. My Mum is making the cake - again, it helps to ask around - you might just find someone who can save you a fortune on a wedding cake. I bought my dress and the bridesmaids dresses online - http://www.lightinthebox.com and they are AMAZING! AND they set me back less than $500 including shipping for all of them.
All up we're looking at less than $3500 for close to 50 people.
In the end, all that matters is that you are going to spending the rest of your life with your best friend. Set yourself a realistic budget, expect to go over slightly, and enjoy the lead up. Make it fun and you'll get to enjoy celebrating with your friends and family, regardless of how much you've spent on the ring and the wedding.
Oh, and just for your info - our wedding rings are titanium, we both chose something we loved, and didn't spend a fortune on those either.
My brother spent close to $25000 on his wedding a couple of weeks ago, and he had no more fun (but a lot more stress!) than we will have, at a much lower cost.
OH! And yes - the surprise comes with the asking! My awesome fiance asked me on a weekend trip to Sydney - on a midnight stroll to see if we could walk all the way around the Opera House. We couldn't, but while we were sitting on a bench looking at the lights over the harbour and the bridge, he got down on one knee and gave a very lovely proposal. I knew he would ask at some point, but the setting and the timing were a complete surprise to me. It was amazing, and completely special. So even if she knows you're going to ask, the excitement comes in the form of the timing and location. Congratulations.
what does her father want for her?
My original was white gold with a very small diamond, the ring in two parts,
the engagement and then wedding band that fit together in a lovely shape.
The ring was not a surprise but the actual proposal was back in 1980.
Our 10th anniversary was a big surprise emerald surrounded in diamonds...
this the ring I've worn the last 20+ years
Congratulations!... a happy time in life in love!
Should I make romantic plans or be spontaneous?
She does live with me. I could wake her from her nap right now, or wait til this weekend and do it after a nice dinner and walk on a beach..
Thoughts?
don't wake a girl from a nap.
go out for a nice dinner....and propose after you order key lime pie......
a few months ago i brought it home w/ the intention of holding it a few days.....trust me..she will have it on by tonight .....
Congrats yourself by the way!
very impressive...3 days ..i couldn't wait
anything u do will be great,so just go w/ your first choice...beach is nice
congrats to you my friend...good luck