i beleive all learning experiances are educational, perhaps something that will happen one way or the other is better supervised. but i don't have kids.
Many times I wondered about some of the choices I made as a parent but all you can do is follow your gut and make these choices for your children with love and their best intrest at heart.
“This is a ah another request fulfillment. If none of the other of you like it at least one guy does. Actually it’s a girl, she’s right back there.”
SMILE Eddie Vedder Cleveland 06.....
I started drinking with friends after school when I was 14. I never got drunk until I was 17. Lots of younger teens do drink too much when they are new to it though, so it's probably better to err on the side of caution.
I think it's insane that the drinking age is 21 here in the USA. It doesn't work and leads to lots of driving while under the influence. If citizens are allowed to vote, smoke cigarettes, and serve in the military at 18, then it follows that they shold be allowed to drink at that age as well.
Just curious, why do you think the drinking age has anything to do with driving under the influence?
Alright, alright, alright!
Tom O. "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"
-The Writer
I think you did the right thing, and I don't even have kids if it makes you feel better
Only thing that would concern me if this is the "norm", will your daughter end up feeling like an outcast if she can't go to any parties because they all end up having alcohol. At that point maybe you will have to re-evaluate and allow her to attend a few that aren't overnight stays and see how those go. I hope that's not the case, though. Is that what kids do these days?
So my 14 year old daughter comes home from school today and happily starts talking about a few of her close friends who have birthdays coming up soon. They will be turning 15, she is 14 and a half. The conversation kind of goes like this..."She's having an all girl party, it's a sleepover and there will be drinks there". I kind of did a double take (after all , you don't expect to hear 'drinks' in any alcoholic meaning from a 14 year old, right?) So I said "drinks? Like, alcoholic?" She nodded and said yes. I was fairly dumbfounded and wanted some more information.
So it turns out that the said friend's mother advised said friend that she could have alcoholic punch and other drinks at her party provided she got the permission from parents. So basically, she had to state on the invite that there would be alcohol. I said "no, not happening...I'm sorry, but you won't be going". She said that another friend wasn't allowed to drink so she wouldn't be, and that her best friend WAS allowed, but only one drink. The ensuing conversation went back and forth between me telling her that it's not her I don't trust, and her saying she won't drink. (and it's not her I don't trust - I know she has every intention of not drinking, it's her friends and her friend's mother! )And she might start out the night intending to remain completely sober, however how do any of us know if the mother will actually provide supervision (after all, she is letting 14 year olds drink, and is happy having the older sister's boyfriend live with them at their house, so clearly trying to be a friend not a parent), and how do we know if her friends will switch her drinks? What about peer pressure? That's enormous at that age, I get it. Her awesomely honest intentions have every chance to be sidetracked through no fault of her own.
I also have found out tonight that it's actually perfectly legal here to supply a minor with alcohol in your own home, so long as you have their parent or guardian's permission. Am I the only one who thinks this is absolutely NUTS???!!!!! I'm sorry, but a 14 year old does not have the maturity required to cope with drinking alcohol. Most 18 year olds don't either, but the damage to a brain that young is too great to risk in my opinion.
I have absolutely no intention of backing down on my decision and she has taken it with very good grace actually - none of the usual temper tantrums - she was just really sad. Her friends have all said that they will be having alcohol at their parties as well. So she will therefore be excluded from them. I know this doesn't make me a bad mother, just the opposite, but surely I am not the only one who is appalled at the idea that we need to speed up their growing up so much? Don't they have plenty of time to grow up and experience things, without giving in to their demands to be 'older'?
Maybe I'm the insane one. Thoughts?
I totally agree with your stance and your decision as a parent. I have 2-15 year olds and a 14 yo and i would make the very same decision. Actually they would make it for us they don't like us having a glass of wine or even beer. We just don't use alcholol much in fact on Valentine's Day I bought a bottle of Jamaican White Rum Overproof left it in my truck. The kids saw it and asked what was it for and and i let my daughter answer...oh my dad is going to use it in a bath with lemons, candles and sea salts for his honey...
he doesn't drink it!
True just never around them. The environment before me was quite the opposite so they are very watchful for any alcohol usage in our home. Two sweet 16 parties are coming up this summer, no alcohol and we'll rent a community center in Royal Palm where all their friends can come and have a good, safe time.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
i was a teenage disaster on legs
this lasted until? .....................
in high school i was drunk and whatever else
wine, whiskey, schnapps, (don't remember having beer at school...that would just be stupid)(duh, beer don't get ya wazed, takes up to much space)
i went from boxing club, football field, baseball field, swimming pool, bike riding, and everything else nice and good and healthy to the depths of drug and alcohol abuse
summer vacation between years of schooling grades we were drunk all summer camping out in the yard. parents didn't catch on until it was long gone fucked.
dad is a good father and a good-buddy at same time. that isn't a good thing in most cases. i am not going into details. it isn't pretty.
i can't tell you how many times i have drank myself into a alcoholic induced coma. if i said 200 times i would have to agree with that.
the state of iowa and the school boards psychologists & psychiatrists all started it to my notion anyway
feeding me Ritalin and fucking with my head and placing me in segregated classrooms that housed the best fuck ups then taking me off Ritalin during summer months, then back on drugs during class, then off drugs for summer vacation, then on drugs, then off drugs again and again... fuck
my real bad pals used sharps during school. lots of them slept during class, marijuana seeds in a testtube fell out of his leather jacket,,,crash, weed seeds everywhere, thousands of em
someone was kicked out
i have a friend who had 2 owi's before he was legal age to drink. the 1st owi age 17 or 18
houston, i think we have a problem. ten four, gotta spacecraft capt dickwad...we read you loud and clear. i think you're fucked. better kiss your ass goodbye
I started drinking with friends after school when I was 14. I never got drunk until I was 17. Lots of younger teens do drink too much when they are new to it though, so it's probably better to err on the side of caution.
I think it's insane that the drinking age is 21 here in the USA. It doesn't work and leads to lots of driving while under the influence. If citizens are allowed to vote, smoke cigarettes, and serve in the military at 18, then it follows that they shold be allowed to drink at that age as well.
Just curious, why do you think the drinking age has anything to do with driving under the influence?
Bars can be held accountable for accidents caused by drunk drivers who are allowed to leave their establishments and get behind the wheel. Drinkers who are 18-20 are typically drinking in more casual settings and so are not subject to bartenders who want to avoid liability & so will call the person a cab.
You see me empty, Sir, do not pause and inquire, simply assume and refill.
- Al Swearengen
Comments
http://www.empoweringparents.com/Teens- ... y-Behavior
http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/s ... nagers-don’t-mix-and-how-to-talk-to-your-teen-about-drinking/?key=Substance-Abuse-And-Risky-Behavior
SMILE Eddie Vedder Cleveland 06.....
Just curious, why do you think the drinking age has anything to do with driving under the influence?
Tom O.
"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"
-The Writer
Only thing that would concern me if this is the "norm", will your daughter end up feeling like an outcast if she can't go to any parties because they all end up having alcohol. At that point maybe you will have to re-evaluate and allow her to attend a few that aren't overnight stays and see how those go. I hope that's not the case, though. Is that what kids do these days?
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
I totally agree with your stance and your decision as a parent. I have 2-15 year olds and a 14 yo and i would make the very same decision. Actually they would make it for us they don't like us having a glass of wine or even beer. We just don't use alcholol much in fact on Valentine's Day I bought a bottle of Jamaican White Rum Overproof left it in my truck. The kids saw it and asked what was it for and and i let my daughter answer...oh my dad is going to use it in a bath with lemons, candles and sea salts for his honey...
he doesn't drink it!
True just never around them.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
this lasted until? .....................
in high school i was drunk and whatever else
wine, whiskey, schnapps, (don't remember having beer at school...that would just be stupid)(duh, beer don't get ya wazed, takes up to much space)
i went from boxing club, football field, baseball field, swimming pool, bike riding, and everything else nice and good and healthy to the depths of drug and alcohol abuse
summer vacation between years of schooling grades we were drunk all summer camping out in the yard. parents didn't catch on until it was long gone fucked.
dad is a good father and a good-buddy at same time. that isn't a good thing in most cases. i am not going into details. it isn't pretty.
i can't tell you how many times i have drank myself into a alcoholic induced coma. if i said 200 times i would have to agree with that.
the state of iowa and the school boards psychologists & psychiatrists all started it to my notion anyway
feeding me Ritalin and fucking with my head and placing me in segregated classrooms that housed the best fuck ups then taking me off Ritalin during summer months, then back on drugs during class, then off drugs for summer vacation, then on drugs, then off drugs again and again... fuck
my real bad pals used sharps during school. lots of them slept during class, marijuana seeds in a testtube fell out of his leather jacket,,,crash, weed seeds everywhere, thousands of em
someone was kicked out
i have a friend who had 2 owi's before he was legal age to drink. the 1st owi age 17 or 18
houston, i think we have a problem. ten four, gotta spacecraft capt dickwad...we read you loud and clear. i think you're fucked. better kiss your ass goodbye
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Bars can be held accountable for accidents caused by drunk drivers who are allowed to leave their establishments and get behind the wheel. Drinkers who are 18-20 are typically drinking in more casual settings and so are not subject to bartenders who want to avoid liability & so will call the person a cab.
- Al Swearengen
http://www.cantstoptheserenity.com