Need a little help with the fairer sex...

FrankS

15-20 minutes
anthropology classes and her plans to study abroad with it (i was filling out forms in the anthro dept)
i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me

pjl44 wrote:

I think there's some crucial information missing:

How long did you talk to her originally?
What did you talk about?
What were the circumstances around getting her number? ("We should hang out sometime," etc.)

ZiggyStar

pjl44 wrote:

I think it depends on what they talked about and what he said when he got her number. If it was a "we should hang out sometime" kinda situation, he's gotta get to it. Prolonged small talk texting can get you into the friend zone or annoying zone quick if you're not careful.

I assumed they were just talking about classes....not hanging out.

Do you really think that you guys get into the "friend zone" because you didn't act quickly enough or in the right way? That if you would have acted in the "right" way, you would have suddenly slipped into "boyfriend zone" or "casual fuck zone" or whatever?

I think you get in the friend zone because the chicks is just not interested in you....and it is totally unrelated to how quickly or slowly you acted or which way you approached her. Just my opinion.

thefixer9

Wait a little but don't wait too long...learned that from experience... :?

Pamela0222

conman wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

Pamela0222 wrote:

You should!!!!!

Go with what ZiggyStar said..... 100%. It's all about timing!!

Yep....it's totally about timing and making the chick feel comfortable enough to want to say yes.

I remember when I sold businesses I'd have clients ask me out at the very first meeting....ahhh no thanks cockhead....I don't even know you. I've also had clients ask me out after a few meetings and if I was single, I would have definitely been more inclined to say yes after I knew them a bit. Getting asked out by someone you don't know or barely know can be off putting and the natural response is to say no straight away. But if you time it right, it can definitely increase the YES response rate.

but they're college students.... chances are they're just looking to have fun.. nothing serious

If that were the case he would have already "sealed" the deal with her. She wouldn't waste his time with random texts. It would have been where and when type talk.

mookeywrench

FrankS wrote:

i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me

She just asked you to hang out right there..there's nothing to contemplate.

ZiggyStar

conman wrote:

but they're college students.... chances are they're just looking to have fun.. nothing serious

Yes, that's very true. I guess college girls are possibly more likely to say yes to a guy they've just met than a normal working chick....maybe....I don't know.

FrankS

i dont think it was like (do you)"like to hang out?" as much as (you want my number)"like to hang out?"

mookeywrench wrote:

FrankS wrote:

i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me

She just asked you to hang out right there..there's nothing to contemplate.

ZiggyStar

mookeywrench wrote:

FrankS wrote:

i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me

She just asked you to hang out right there..there's nothing to contemplate.

Oh come on!! We need all the details at the beginning!!

SHE'S KEEN!!! GET ONTO HER!!!

thefixer9

ZiggyStar wrote:

mookeywrench wrote:

FrankS wrote:

i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me

She just asked you to hang out right there..there's nothing to contemplate.

Oh come on!! We need all the details at the beginning!!

SHE'S KEEN!!! GET ONTO HER!!!

Be warned.....Never listen to Ziggy...

ZiggyStar

thefixer9 wrote:

Be warned.....Never listen to Ziggy...

:x

CAVSTARR313

Why are they known as the "fairer sex".. they can be quite unfair at times.. well, most anyway..

They are better looking than dudes though..

Heisenberg

ZiggyStar wrote:

FrankS wrote:

Ok so I met this girl Monday at school. We were both waiting for an advisor and I managed to get her number. We texted a little yesterday and today (Not like long conversations or anything, just about classes). When would it be ok to ask if she wants to hang out? For example, I'm done with classes tomorrow at 12:15, but I can't figure out if it'd be too soon to text her something like "hey if you have a break between classes, want to meet up for a bit?"

What do you guys and girls think?

Thank you for any help!

Too soon. Plan your moves....don't throw the opportunities away without at least some proper forward thought.

She obviously likes you enough to text a few times about classes etc. Do you have classes together? Talk to her there. Find a reason to see her between classes. Keep texting a bit (not TOO much though -- don't look over keen -- that's annoying). Try to sneak in some "non-class" chat into the texts as well. See if she takes the bait and chats back. Ask casual questions in the texts so she HAS to text back and the communication starts flowing. Give it a couple of weeks of her becoming familiar with you and THEN ask her to catch up for whatever reason.

You've got to set the scene first....make her want to go out with you because you're a nice guy, funny, have some similar interests, whatever....not some desperado she barely knows that asks every chick out after a few texts. I'm sure you aren't like that....but does SHE know that? No.

Sure, she might say yes straight away....but there's a good chance she'll also say no....and why risk that? Give it a bit of time....long enough for her to establish a few reasons to say "Yes, why not, he seems pretty cool!" :thumbup:


That's what I'd do anyway.

Ziggy needs her own time slot as part of the 10C radio show to help with relationship issues

thefixer9

ZiggyStar wrote:

thefixer9 wrote:

Be warned.....Never listen to Ziggy...

:x

:wave:

mookeywrench

FrankS wrote:

i dont think it was like (do you)"like to hang out?" as much as (you want my number)"like to hang out?"

mookeywrench wrote:

FrankS wrote:

i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me

She just asked you to hang out right there..there's nothing to contemplate.

Ya lost me there...all I know is that she wants to hang out. Anything else is overthinking it.

conman

text her and ask her to hang out..... RIGHT NOW!!!

ZiggyStar

Well now I know she said "to hang out?" etc when you asked for her number and she still gave it to you, I wouldn't wait TOO long....you've kinda already crossed that "is she interested enough to hang out" boundary....or did she just say yes because she was being nice and didn't want to say no and hurt your feelings....and if that's the case, maybe you'd be best off establishing yourself in her eyes a bit before going in for the big bite....just to increase your chances a bit?

So hard. How much did you really like this girl? Is it going to rip your heart out if she knocks you back? If you don't really care, take the plunge now.

If you felt pangs of love/lust the first time you saw this girl and would be really disappointed in fucking it up, I'd say wait a bit.

CAVSTARR313

conman wrote:

text her and ask her to hang out..... RIGHT NOW!!!

and send a picture of your junk.. girls like that sort of thing

ZiggyStar

Caveeze wrote:

conman wrote:

text her and ask her to hang out..... RIGHT NOW!!!

and send a picture of your junk.. girls like that sort of thing

That'll be the winner....no doubts about it!

pjl44

ZiggyStar wrote:

pjl44 wrote:

I think it depends on what they talked about and what he said when he got her number. If it was a "we should hang out sometime" kinda situation, he's gotta get to it. Prolonged small talk texting can get you into the friend zone or annoying zone quick if you're not careful.

I assumed they were just talking about classes....not hanging out.

Do you really think that you guys get into the "friend zone" because you didn't act quickly enough or in the right way? That if you would have acted in the "right" way, you would have suddenly slipped into "boyfriend zone" or "casual fuck zone" or whatever?

I think you get in the friend zone because the chicks is just not interested in you....and it is totally unrelated to how quickly or slowly you acted or which way you approached her. Just my opinion.

For me, I can't say for sure, but I have toooooooons of firsthand examples with friends of mine. Girls who have liked a guy, but he was (a) in contact too much (b) texted a bunch but never actually picked up the phone and called (c) was friendly but just never made a move, etc. I think you're right that there are lots of times where it's just lack of interest and it wasn't going to happen no matter what. But I know way too many girls who have lamented about how a guy handled things (some were even guys I knew so I got both sides of the story).

pjl44

FrankS wrote:

15-20 minutes
anthropology classes and her plans to study abroad with it (i was filling out forms in the anthro dept)
i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me

pjl44 wrote:

I think there's some crucial information missing:

How long did you talk to her originally?
What did you talk about?
What were the circumstances around getting her number? ("We should hang out sometime," etc.)

There it is. I would make plans to hang out sooner rather than later. Given that you didn't talk long, I agree with the idea of keeping things comfortable and casual. But definitely something in person even if it's as simple as an afternoon coffee wherever the hell college kids today would do that sort of thing.