Ok so I met this girl Monday at school. We were both waiting for an advisor and I managed to get her number. We texted a little yesterday and today (Not like long conversations or anything, just about classes). When would it be ok to ask if she wants to hang out? For example, I'm done with classes tomorrow at 12:15, but I can't figure out if it'd be too soon to text her something like "hey if you have a break between classes, want to meet up for a bit?"
What do you guys and girls think?
Thank you for any help!
Too soon. Plan your moves....don't throw the opportunities away without at least some proper forward thought.
She obviously likes you enough to text a few times about classes etc. Do you have classes together? Talk to her there. Find a reason to see her between classes. Keep texting a bit (not TOO much though -- don't look over keen -- that's annoying). Try to sneak in some "non-class" chat into the texts as well. See if she takes the bait and chats back. Ask casual questions in the texts so she HAS to text back and the communication starts flowing. Give it a couple of weeks of her becoming familiar with you and THEN ask her to catch up for whatever reason.
You've got to set the scene first....make her want to go out with you because you're a nice guy, funny, have some similar interests, whatever....not some desperado she barely knows that asks every chick out after a few texts. I'm sure you aren't like that....but does SHE know that? No.
Sure, she might say yes straight away....but there's a good chance she'll also say no....and why risk that? Give it a bit of time....long enough for her to establish a few reasons to say "Yes, why not, he seems pretty cool!" :thumbup:
That's what I'd do anyway.
Ziggy needs her own time slot as part of the 10C radio show to help with relationship issues
Well now I know she said "to hang out?" etc when you asked for her number and she still gave it to you, I wouldn't wait TOO long....you've kinda already crossed that "is she interested enough to hang out" boundary....or did she just say yes because she was being nice and didn't want to say no and hurt your feelings....and if that's the case, maybe you'd be best off establishing yourself in her eyes a bit before going in for the big bite....just to increase your chances a bit?
So hard. How much did you really like this girl? Is it going to rip your heart out if she knocks you back? If you don't really care, take the plunge now.
If you felt pangs of love/lust the first time you saw this girl and would be really disappointed in fucking it up, I'd say wait a bit.
I think it depends on what they talked about and what he said when he got her number. If it was a "we should hang out sometime" kinda situation, he's gotta get to it. Prolonged small talk texting can get you into the friend zone or annoying zone quick if you're not careful.
I assumed they were just talking about classes....not hanging out.
Do you really think that you guys get into the "friend zone" because you didn't act quickly enough or in the right way? That if you would have acted in the "right" way, you would have suddenly slipped into "boyfriend zone" or "casual fuck zone" or whatever?
I think you get in the friend zone because the chicks is just not interested in you....and it is totally unrelated to how quickly or slowly you acted or which way you approached her. Just my opinion.
For me, I can't say for sure, but I have toooooooons of firsthand examples with friends of mine. Girls who have liked a guy, but he was (a) in contact too much (b) texted a bunch but never actually picked up the phone and called (c) was friendly but just never made a move, etc. I think you're right that there are lots of times where it's just lack of interest and it wasn't going to happen no matter what. But I know way too many girls who have lamented about how a guy handled things (some were even guys I knew so I got both sides of the story).
15-20 minutes
anthropology classes and her plans to study abroad with it (i was filling out forms in the anthro dept)
i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me
How long did you talk to her originally?
What did you talk about?
What were the circumstances around getting her number? ("We should hang out sometime," etc.)
There it is. I would make plans to hang out sooner rather than later. Given that you didn't talk long, I agree with the idea of keeping things comfortable and casual. But definitely something in person even if it's as simple as an afternoon coffee wherever the hell college kids today would do that sort of thing.
I'd say just ask her. Don't play games. (But, then again, I have my own thread asking for dating advice, so what do I know? ) But I like when guys are just straight up with me. Good luck!
i asked if i could get her number, she said "like to hang out?" and gave it to me
Then she's expecting you to ask her out. That's what she gave you her number for. I'm not saying it's a sure thing; she could've had second thoughts - but she wouldn't have given you her number if she wanted you to not ask her out.
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They are better looking than dudes though..
Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
Ziggy needs her own time slot as part of the 10C radio show to help with relationship issues
:wave:
Eddie Vedder- 7/16/11
Brad- 4/21/12 (RSD Performance), 4/27/12, 8/10/12
Flight To Mars- 5/23/12
RNDM- 11/27/12
PEARL JAM- 12/6/13 I have finally seen Pearl Jam live!
Ya lost me there...all I know is that she wants to hang out. Anything else is overthinking it.
So hard. How much did you really like this girl? Is it going to rip your heart out if she knocks you back? If you don't really care, take the plunge now.
If you felt pangs of love/lust the first time you saw this girl and would be really disappointed in fucking it up, I'd say wait a bit.
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
That'll be the winner....no doubts about it!
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
For me, I can't say for sure, but I have toooooooons of firsthand examples with friends of mine. Girls who have liked a guy, but he was (a) in contact too much (b) texted a bunch but never actually picked up the phone and called (c) was friendly but just never made a move, etc. I think you're right that there are lots of times where it's just lack of interest and it wasn't going to happen no matter what. But I know way too many girls who have lamented about how a guy handled things (some were even guys I knew so I got both sides of the story).
There it is. I would make plans to hang out sooner rather than later. Given that you didn't talk long, I agree with the idea of keeping things comfortable and casual. But definitely something in person even if it's as simple as an afternoon coffee wherever the hell college kids today would do that sort of thing.
That's what i was thinking.
NO need to play games, is right.
Especially at 43!!
If you want her, go get her.. and if it goes well, congrats.. if not, there will be plenty more.. there is someone for everyone..
Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
SORRY dude>
I don't care how old: NO games.
Eddie Vedder- 7/16/11
Brad- 4/21/12 (RSD Performance), 4/27/12, 8/10/12
Flight To Mars- 5/23/12
RNDM- 11/27/12
PEARL JAM- 12/6/13 I have finally seen Pearl Jam live!
Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
Then she's expecting you to ask her out. That's what she gave you her number for. I'm not saying it's a sure thing; she could've had second thoughts - but she wouldn't have given you her number if she wanted you to not ask her out.