When he's out of the house, take off the door to his room. If he wants the door back...he'll have to clean his room.
I like the door idea. I just went in my daughter's room to get her laundry - and there are clean piles of clothes stacked on the floor from last weekend she's never put away.
I'm going to tell her about the door. Thanks.
Great idea however it can work with some kids and not with others. My once sloppy daughter yes, my stepson no we had his door off for several weeks getting a new one and he still didn't clean up.
As for my once sloppy 15 yo daughter, well she came home with a C in AP World History (college coarse) last November and other school troubles (small stuff). I told her if you don't start cleaning your room and bring that grade up you are going to live with your mother up north. Well she knows what kind of life that would be from luxury to misery. So what did she do...she cleaned and cleaned every day since and got an A on the last report card.
So they all are capable of doing what each and every parent wants them to do...it just hitting the right buttons to get them motivated. Good luck Claireack it's beautiful when do things right.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
When he's out of the house, take off the door to his room. If he wants the door back...he'll have to clean his room.
If this doesn't work then nothing will.
When I was a teenager and living in my parents basement, the simple fact that my mom entered my room and poked around because it was dirty is what made me clean it up. Although I had things to hide (mostly pot) so my inspiration was: Don't give her a reason to go in.
This all ties back into the privacy thing....
All in all though, I'm not a very messy person... I like things to be organized/tidy... but I'm not a clean freak.
7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
I'm hoping he remembers the condoms that I saw in there last year :?
Update - Well, this weekend he brought all his washing down himself, and I haven't had to go up there (he's in the attic), perhaps the thought of his mum tidying up is as dc said enough of a deterrant. As for the girlfriend thing, well he says she isn't his girlfriend even though they spent nearly 5 hours together on Sunday, including substantial time in her bedroom - just 'good friends', although back when I was a lass being 'good friends' didn't necessarily exclude sex from the equation, so I'm still going to worry I think.
there is a personality type that enjoys chaos ... comfort comes in a mess
also one person's mess is another's organization
my kids room were just that ... theirs
this was also important for those teens that 'ran away' from their own homes to stay
with us temporarily, everyone needs their own, claim it make it.
We had our share of 'science projects' ... what is that growing in that glass? :shock:
looking back now a decade later what we all learned from each other is more valuable
than a tidy room and now they both keep their houses just like they like them.
Last night, unprompted, my son tidied his room and ran round the vacumn cleaner.
This morning I said to him 'thank you son, I'm really pleased you did that', his reply was 'oh I didn't do it for you, I'm bringing a girl home after school'.
They got in just before I did and they're up there now. I only know this because there's a strange handbag on the sofa. I feel slightly sick thinking about what they might be doing. His room is in the attic and I've tried shouting up, there was no answer. I don't want to go in there ........ Maybe I'll phone him.
Claire! You didn't insist on meeting the new young lady?
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
They've just come down, he wasn't in his school uniform. Where did he get changed??????
well, now we know the answer to the question of how 'she' got him to clean his room, but it doesn't sound like it is something that you would be willing to do
Last night, unprompted, my son tidied his room and ran round the vacumn cleaner.
This morning I said to him 'thank you son, I'm really pleased you did that', his reply was 'oh I didn't do it for you, I'm bringing a girl home after school'.
They got in just before I did and they're up there now. I only know this because there's a strange handbag on the sofa. I feel slightly sick thinking about what they might be doing. His room is in the attic and I've tried shouting up, there was no answer. I don't want to go in there ........ Maybe I'll phone him.
I wish at this point you'd gone upstairs, knocked on the door and said, "H, this time when I cleaned your room I didn't find any condoms. Oh, nice to meet you, Female Friend of H. Carry on."
take all her shit and throw it out the front door and onto your lawn. this how our mother took care of business when us boys refused to clean our bedroom(s). she scooped up our stuff, everything in arm loads and threw the crap out the door. before you knew it there was a large pile of clothes and everything else in a pile in the middle of our yard.
we of course then had to haul it back into the house and clean our room(s)
our mom does not fuck around. when she means business she means business
I did that once with his school bag , but we've only got a really tiny paved yard so if we did it to all his stuff, I wouldn't be able to get out. Plus I might lose the dog in the piles.
If he keeps bringing her home though - he'll keep it tidy
[quote="Claireack
Update - Well, this weekend he brought all his washing down himself, and I haven't had to go up there (he's in the attic), perhaps the thought of his mum tidying up is as dc said enough of a deterrant. As for the girlfriend thing, well he says she isn't his girlfriend even though they spent nearly 5 hours together on Sunday, including substantial time in her bedroom - just 'good friends', although back when I was a lass being 'good friends' didn't necessarily exclude sex from the equation, so I'm still going to worry I think.[/quote]
:shock: :thumbup:
[quote="Claireack"]Last night, unprompted, my son tidied his room and ran round the vacumn cleaner.
This morning I said to him 'thank you son, I'm really pleased you did that', his reply was 'oh I didn't do it for you, I'm bringing a girl home after school'.
They got in just before I did and they're up there now. I only know this because there's a strange handbag on the sofa. I feel slightly sick thinking about what they might be doing. His room is in the attic and I've tried shouting up, there was no answer. I don't want to go in there ........ Maybe I'll phone him.[/quote]
Clare this is brilliant,the best laugh I have had this week.
“There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
Thanks Pandora he is a good kid. I love him to bits!
Yes!
With all the trying times, trouble, worries that I have been through
the last almost 2 decades now, it is that love...
the most powerful love in my life that makes it all worth it and keeps me going!
That and hope and faith in our paths
Comments
Great idea however it can work with some kids and not with others. My once sloppy daughter yes, my stepson no we had his door off for several weeks getting a new one and he still didn't clean up.
As for my once sloppy 15 yo daughter, well she came home with a C in AP World History (college coarse) last November and other school troubles (small stuff). I told her if you don't start cleaning your room and bring that grade up you are going to live with your mother up north. Well she knows what kind of life that would be from luxury to misery. So what did she do...she cleaned and cleaned every day since and got an A on the last report card.
So they all are capable of doing what each and every parent wants them to do...it just hitting the right buttons to get them motivated. Good luck Claireack it's beautiful when do things right.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
I'm hoping he might want to bring her home. This should help inspire tidiness! If he wants to get her in there it'll have to be tidy!
Oh no! Just given myself something else to worry about!
If this doesn't work then nothing will.
When I was a teenager and living in my parents basement, the simple fact that my mom entered my room and poked around because it was dirty is what made me clean it up. Although I had things to hide (mostly pot) so my inspiration was: Don't give her a reason to go in.
This all ties back into the privacy thing....
All in all though, I'm not a very messy person... I like things to be organized/tidy... but I'm not a clean freak.
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
You might be regretting that in about 9 months
http://www.facebook.com/jennytree
SMELL YER MA!
I'm hoping he remembers the condoms that I saw in there last year :?
Update - Well, this weekend he brought all his washing down himself, and I haven't had to go up there (he's in the attic), perhaps the thought of his mum tidying up is as dc said enough of a deterrant. As for the girlfriend thing, well he says she isn't his girlfriend even though they spent nearly 5 hours together on Sunday, including substantial time in her bedroom - just 'good friends', although back when I was a lass being 'good friends' didn't necessarily exclude sex from the equation, so I'm still going to worry I think.
also one person's mess is another's organization
my kids room were just that ... theirs
this was also important for those teens that 'ran away' from their own homes to stay
with us temporarily, everyone needs their own, claim it make it.
We had our share of 'science projects' ... what is that growing in that glass? :shock:
looking back now a decade later what we all learned from each other is more valuable
than a tidy room and now they both keep their houses just like they like them.
This morning I said to him 'thank you son, I'm really pleased you did that', his reply was 'oh I didn't do it for you, I'm bringing a girl home after school'.
They got in just before I did and they're up there now. I only know this because there's a strange handbag on the sofa. I feel slightly sick thinking about what they might be doing. His room is in the attic and I've tried shouting up, there was no answer. I don't want to go in there ........ Maybe I'll phone him.
- Christopher McCandless
well, now we know the answer to the question of how 'she' got him to clean his room, but it doesn't sound like it is something that you would be willing to do
I wish at this point you'd gone upstairs, knocked on the door and said, "H, this time when I cleaned your room I didn't find any condoms. Oh, nice to meet you, Female Friend of H. Carry on."
this for the respect of our home and us as parents.
I'm sure stuff happened when we weren't around, maybe even when we were,
but I never had any proof of that which was fine by me.
RK/Unlost - got to meet her when they came down. Seems a nice girl, although a little skinny.
Rick - not going there
81 - houses don't, but I'm sure a potato does.
we of course then had to haul it back into the house and clean our room(s)
our mom does not fuck around. when she means business she means business
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
If he keeps bringing her home though - he'll keep it tidy
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Update - Well, this weekend he brought all his washing down himself, and I haven't had to go up there (he's in the attic), perhaps the thought of his mum tidying up is as dc said enough of a deterrant. As for the girlfriend thing, well he says she isn't his girlfriend even though they spent nearly 5 hours together on Sunday, including substantial time in her bedroom - just 'good friends', although back when I was a lass being 'good friends' didn't necessarily exclude sex from the equation, so I'm still going to worry I think.[/quote]
:shock:
[quote="Claireack"]Last night, unprompted, my son tidied his room and ran round the vacumn cleaner.
This morning I said to him 'thank you son, I'm really pleased you did that', his reply was 'oh I didn't do it for you, I'm bringing a girl home after school'.
They got in just before I did and they're up there now. I only know this because there's a strange handbag on the sofa. I feel slightly sick thinking about what they might be doing. His room is in the attic and I've tried shouting up, there was no answer. I don't want to go in there ........ Maybe I'll phone him.[/quote]
Clare this is brilliant,the best laugh I have had this week.
gonna sneak up on you ... most especially Mom :oops:
a sense of humor really helps too ... keeping it light with a heavy message underneath
I got my worries, Lord knows they never end but glad I'm past this one.
Good luck Claire you got a good kid there this we know.
With all the trying times, trouble, worries that I have been through
the last almost 2 decades now, it is that love...
the most powerful love in my life that makes it all worth it and keeps me going!
That and hope and faith in our paths
this is living!