Drummerboy’s Deep Thought for the Day

drummerboy_73

...so back in '04/'05, I used to post these daily in the "Message Pit" and the "Red Mosquito" forums. They're sort of my own spin on and tribute to "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" from 90's SNL. Not long ago, I stumbled onto the Word file I had copied them all onto in a long forgotten folder buried many fathoms deep in my hard drive.

So now meeza thinkin' "New year/almost a decade later...why not share some of my personal faves, as well as resume the creation of new ones, and see what might inspire my twisted wit these days?"

So, without further adieu, for your reading / viewing / laughing / crying / thinking / criticizing / analyzing / smelling / tasting / farting / politicizing pleasure, I present to you once again, in stunning Trebuchet MS font:

"Drummerboy’s Deep Thought for the Day"




One neat thing about panda bears is if you’re color blind, you’re not really missing anything.


Originally posted in the Pearl Jam Mesage Pit 01/06/05.

drummerboy_73

I once learned a valuable lesson about procrastination. I'll share it with you sometime...just not right now.

drummerboy_73

If I ever got my pilot’s license, I would buy an airplane and have charter flights for tourists over the Bermuda Triangle. When we got close to it, I’d make the plane go into a nosedive on purpose, and tap on my instrument panel, making it look like something was wrong. Then I’d turn around and laugh, and say “Just Kidding folks!” I might even wet my own pants to add to the effect.


Originally posted in the Pearl Jam Mesage Pit 12/22/04.

rollings

D'ya ever call somebody and then quick hang up the phone when they answer!?
Yeah...I have too.

rollings

Did you ever slam on the brakes in traffic just to look in the rearview to see what would happen?
No, I've never done that either.

rollings

Sometimes I wonder.....
if you lay down flat in the middle of a ski slope, and a skier hit you,
would you serve as a small ramp?
or would the skies instead go under you.....taking you for a teeny joy ride?

rollings

Consider the daffodil...
and while you're doing that, I'll be over here....going through your stuff

(Jack Handey said that first? yeah, ok. right.)

OffSheGoes35

.

drummerboy_73

Sometimes when it rains real lightly, and the drops of rain make small, circular ripples in a pond, I'll throw a big rock into that pond, 'cause think about it - what business do those little ripples have being in that pond?


Originally posted in the Pearl Jam Mesage Pit 12/30/04.

Godfather.

if you could read my mind love
what a tale my thoughts would tell
just like a paper back novel
about a ghost in a wishing well.

Gordon Lightfoot

Godfather.

Sometimes I dream
sometimes I stop and think
but everyday I face the day and its challengs
and I enjoy its magic and wonder
so I save these memories of each and every day
and I keep them all in my heart so that I can share them with the ones I love.

Godfather.

rollings

Godfather. wrote:

if you could read my mind love
what a tale my thoughts would tell
just like a paper back novel
about a ghost in a wishing well.

Gordon Lightfoot

Godfather,

You completely encapsulized the essence of this thread

rollings

drummerboy_73 wrote:

Sometimes when it rains real lightly, and the drops of rain make small, circular ripples in a pond, I'll throw a big rock into that pond, 'cause think about it - what business do those little ripples have being in that pond?

I do the same thing! Except I throw that big rock in and then tell people "Look, it didn't rain in that spot"
Ensuing amazement never fails.

drummerboy_73

A funny thing to do would be to fill a hot tub with boiling water, and when someone gets in and starts screaming, be sure to videotape it - this way, once the burns heal, they'll have something to look back on and laugh about the whole thing.

Godfather.

drummerboy_73 wrote:

A funny thing to do would be to fill a hot tub with boiling water, and when someone gets in and starts screaming, be sure to videotape it - this way, once the burns heal, they'll have something to look back on and laugh about the whole thing.

:shock: really ?

Godfather.

drummerboy_73

When I was a kid, I used to think if I punched somebody, it would make a cool sound like you see on TV. Then one day, my brother laughed at me and said it was a sound effect they put in afterwards. I didn’t believe that, and we got into a big argument over it. Then, I punched him real hard in the face. Turns out he was right, but I’ll bet he was sorry he brought it up.


Originally posted in the Pearl Jam Mesage Pit 01/17/05.

rollings

drummerboy_73 wrote:

When I was a kid, I used to think if I punched somebody, it would make a cool sound like you see on TV. Then one day, my brother laughed at me and said it was a sound effect they put in afterwards. I didn’t believe that, and we got into a big argument over it. Then, I punched him real hard in the face. Turns out he was right, but I’ll bet he was sorry he brought it up.

The very same thing happened to me!

And from that day forward, I have refused to fight anything but celery stalks.

drummerboy_73

I think a good way for banks to protect the money is to put it all in a big pile in front, and let customers jump into it, as though it were a big pile of freshly-raked, autumn leaves. Everyone would be having such a grand time, that they'd forget all about the money part.

drummerboy_73

If I ever got lost in the woods and became hungry, and then a nice, old lady came up to me and invited me back to her house made from candy, I'd quickly find a stick and beat her like there was no tomorrow. If it turned out she was in fact a nice lady and not an evil cannibalistic witch like I had suspected, I would promptly apologize and ask if the candy offer was still good.

rollings

Lately I've been thinking...

if deep thoughts were not really in fact deep thoughts at all....

how cool it would be if they were instead like ...humorous or something.....

WHAT
...what?
Not a good idea then? then WHAT
ok.
WHAT? Nevermind ...

drummerboy_73

Billy laughed and laughed at the way his Mom was chasing him and couldn’t catch up – but it wasn’t until it was too late that he realized her joke about running with scissors in your hand really wasn’t a joke at all.