is valuing something / one taught or are you born with it?

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  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,820
    I take it your guys dad hasnt been in your life much since?

    At a certain point it becomes a selfhatred, selfperpetuating thing. "I dont value myself, so what really does matter?" each failure in life feeds in to this selfhatred.

    we can stuck in what we THINK things should have been. Instead of accepting things as they were in reality and moving on. One thing you can do is just love him and acceot him as he is now.

    Sidenote, a parents guilt can be the most harmful thing in a childs life. No matter what age the child.
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  • blondieblue227
    blondieblue227 Va, USA Posts: 4,509
    mickeyrat wrote:
    I take it your guys dad hasnt been in your life much since?

    not really. me and my dad were best buds until i hit puberty. then i might as well have been an alien. same with my brother. around 13 or 14 it was like he couldn't relate to us anymore. i haven't talked to him since 04. i want a relationship with him but i'm looking to him to be somebody he's not. for years the only thing he said to me is, "how's you're van?" I'm just way deeper than that, so i've quit trying to talk to him.
    with my brother being AD/HD or whatever there was no way my dad was equipped to deal with that, so they have no relationship either. he hit him the few years my brother lived with him.
    At a certain point it becomes a selfhatred, selfperpetuating thing. "I dont value myself, so what really does matter?" each failure in life feeds in to this selfhatred.

    agreed. and further down the rabbit hole my brother goes. he has never tried to kill himself. but i don't know if he's thought about it.
    we can stuck in what we THINK things should have been. Instead of accepting things as they were in reality and moving on. One thing you can do is just love him and acceot him as he is now.

    i try to but it's hard. he was the happiest little boy when he was young.
    i know he's stuck on what dad did to him. for some strange reason he blames my step-mom.
    i don't believe in the blame game.

    Sidenote, a parents guilt can be the most harmful thing in a childs life. No matter what age the child.

    agree 100%.
    *~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*

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