Male suicide - Interesting article...

Byrnzie

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

we should never ever forget that people who are in such an emotional state are capable of anything. that is why it is a bad sign when people withdraw or when they refuse to open up and discuss anything. i know in my experience, keeping up appearances that i was fine was the main motivation to get through my days. i went to work like i was fine. i actually excelled at work at that time because it was the only thing forcing me to take my mind off of my problem. and to maintain appearances i was not saying anything to anyone who i thought might do something crazy like calling my parents or the cops or anyone who could help. the thing i learned the most, which was distressing at the time, it that i am a survivor. i overcame the thing that threatened to do me in. i found the strength within me to keep going. and now i am thriving again. i wish that everyone can have the outcome that i had.

I vaguely remember you confiding in me at the time. Something to do with a break-up. I probably didn't take it too seriously though in all honesty (or as seriously as I should/could have), as you've always struck me as a pretty tough egg.

Anyway, kudos for you typing all of this in this thread. It's stuff like this that makes this forum a great place. And I hope you don't ever slide down into that hole again a second time. If you do, then make sure you let me know about it.

CarolineSays

Sorry Thoughts, this is gimme's thread now...

Thanks for sharing, gimme. I was misdiagnosed because I had predominantly "male" symptoms. Thanks to my very stubborn husband I found the appropriate help.

You're "wrong" on one point, though. You'll never be "normal" again. You'll always be on your guard, more aware of yourself, of your needs and mental state. Which makes you a stronger person and more likely more in tune with other people's feelings and needs.

edit : ignore the ignorant troll posts...

Thoughts_Arrive

usamamasan1 wrote:

Suicide is the ultimate sin.

It is people like you with your views that have turned me off church.
I haven't been to Christmas mass in a few years now, it causes conflict in the household with my mum who labels me as 'not a real Catholic'. Disgusting, the church is a shit system.
God and Jesus would never call someone that took their own life a sinner, that is a bunch of old pedophiles preaching their shit to the world.

pandora

Suicide can not be an option
whatever one must do in their own heads, this be the goal, the final outcome.

If that is to go back to one's religious teachings and then know,
for them, it is a sin
whatever it takes to make it not an option... then live for God

If that is to meditate on the outcome for all those you will leave behind.
Feel the pain feel the change for them, live the ache, the loss.
If one decides to live for others to save their loved ones the most horrible pain
and guilt imaginable
whatever it takes to make suicide not an option ... then live for others

If it is going to your lowest and crawling back up with or without help
to live for yourself whatever it takes ... choose life then live for yourself.

Suicide can not be an option. Save a life.

gimmesometruth27

Byrnzie wrote:

I vaguely remember you confiding in me at the time. Something to do with a break-up. I probably didn't take it too seriously though in all honesty (or as seriously as I should/could have), as you've always struck me as a pretty tough egg.

Anyway, kudos for you typing all of this in this thread. It's stuff like this that makes this forum a great place. And I hope you don't ever slide down into that hole again a second time. If you do, then make sure you let me know about it.

yeah i think when i mentioned it to you it was at the very beginning of things starting to get bad. i did not go into details because i was maintaining appearances...that break up had just occurred and i was learning things about that person that really hurt to hear. it had been a mentally abusive and traumatizing relationship and there was some distance involved, which gave her free reign to do whatever she wanted with whomever she wanted to do it with, and that included having affairs...i did not know how bad it was going to get when i had mentioned it to you just over a year ago, but i think when we talked i was at the top of the slide preparing to take the downward plunge.. i disappeared from here for a few months shortly after that and did not come back until late february or early march. i had to get away from everything that reminded me of her and that included doing away with all things pearl jam for awhile. i could not get totally away though because i have a big stickfigure tattooed on my arm, so that kind of sucked...while i was away i did a lot of soulsearching and went to the counselor at that time and did a lot of reading and writing and working out. i lost nearly 40 lbs and have managed to keep 36 of them off, which is a good thing.. and lol at hard egg...i guess i do have a hard exterior, but the deeper one digs they will notice that the interior is much more fragile...

i was hoping that my sharing of my story would make more people come forward and share theirs so we could have a really good discussion about suicide and depression. we are all here to bounce ideas off of each other and learn from one another. and don't worry byrnzie, i am not going to slide down that hole again. i will not make those same mistakes again. i have learned my lesson. and i have learned that life is good now, and it sure as hell beats the alternative..i can't believe that i ever got to that point. i guess it is like that old saying, "it's not how hard you fall, it is how high you BOUNCE!"

cincybearcat

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

Interesting, thanks for sharing. And I'm glad you are doing better.

gimmesometruth27

CarolineSays wrote:

Sorry Thoughts, this is gimme's thread now...

Thanks for sharing, gimme. I was misdiagnosed because I had predominantly "male" symptoms. Thanks to my very stubborn husband I found the appropriate help.

You're "wrong" on one point, though. You'll never be "normal" again. You'll always be on your guard, more aware of yourself, of your needs and mental state. Which makes you a stronger person and more likely more in tune with other people's feelings and needs.

edit : ignore the ignorant troll posts...

sorry, i didn't mean to hijack the thread :oops:

i was just pointing out that my symptoms were different from what the article posted. it sounds like yours were too. i am glad that your husband knew you well enough to know that you were misdiagnosed. mine was an easy diagnosis because i had all the classic signs, just the genders were reversed.

and you are right, i stand corrected. i am back to normal in that i can do everything i wanted to do before, but as you said, i am on guard and i don't let my guard down easily anymore. i guess it is some sort of defense mechanism or something. and that guard being up has hurt my subsequent relationships somewhat because i do not open up as easily as i used to. and you are right in that i am much more aware of what i need. i had never been that way before. i was always more selfless than selfish. and that set me up for problems. now i have no problem with looking out for my interests as well. it is all about self worth. if you do not value yourself enough you can become anything people want you to be and people will take advantage of your selflessness. you will give away everything you have emotionally to people who are not worthy of it, or don't deserve it.

i am glad that you go through your rough patch as well

JonnyPistachio

Gimme, that must've been tough to share, but I'm sure it might help people if there are in a similar situation.
And you're right, its all about how you bounce back, and realizing that life is often long, and there is plenty of time to figure things out. Glad you are doing well now!

On an aside, I agree with Thoughts Arrive here:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

usamamasan1 wrote:

Suicide is the ultimate sin.

It is people like you with your views that have turned me off church.
I haven't been to Christmas mass in a few years now, it causes conflict in the household with my mum who labels me as 'not a real Catholic'. Disgusting, the church is a shit system.
God and Jesus would never call someone that took their own life a sinner, that is a bunch of old pedophiles preaching their shit to the world.

Some people just know exactly how to take a shit in all the wrong places.

gimmesometruth27

cincybearcat wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

Interesting, thanks for sharing. And I'm glad you are doing better.

thanks dude. you guys aren't getting rid of me that easily haha...

yes it is interesting that the predominant gender characteristics were reversed in a couple of cases in this thread.

this chart was in the article that was linked in the OP. i just put it in there so people could easier see what i was referrring to in my post. there are other informational charts on that site as well.

cincybearcat

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

cincybearcat wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

Interesting, thanks for sharing. And I'm glad you are doing better.

thanks dude. you guys aren't getting rid of me that easily haha...

yes it is interesting that the predominant gender characteristics were reversed in a couple of cases in this thread.

this chart was in the article that was linked in the OP. i just put it in there so people could easier see what i was referrring to in my post. there are other informational charts on that site as well.

After reading the chart, I'm really concerned about Byrnzie.

Seriously though, when you get in a slump and things start to become too much it's easy to see how it snowballs and can really effect people. It's also easy to see it being written off by many as someone just being a jerk. You really need good people around you to help you notice the changes in yourself. Can wake you up and help you get past it. Without others there to help, it'd be pretty difficult to do on your own.

BinauralJam

Gimmie, your to tall, it's offensive, other than that, your Awesome.

cincybearcat

BinauralJam wrote:

Gimmie, your to tall, it's offensive, other than that, your Awesome.

Using the word "your" when you should use "you're" should be on that list.

catefrances

cincybearcat wrote:

After reading the chart, I'm really concerned about Byrnzie.

Seriously though, when you get in a slump and things start to become too much it's easy to see how it snowballs and can really effect people. It's also easy to see it being written off by many as someone just being a jerk. You really need good people around you to help you notice the changes in yourself. Can wake you up and help you get past it. Without others there to help, it'd be pretty difficult to do on your own.

it is difficult... what you dont need is people telling you to suck it up or come on dude/dudette youre getting this bent out of shape over a chick/guy. or my personal favourite... you should go for a walk, clear your head. yeah thanks for that. :roll:

i think people are scared of depression, especially when it happens to someone they always saw as strong. tis as if theyre thinking,if this can happen to bob/mary/whoever then it can happen to them. its a scary thing cause sometimes youve only got the word of the depressed person that theyre doing ok or better and it may be months or even longer before you can feel 'safe' for them. and then you might find yourself checking what you say to them cause youre worried itll cause them to fall back down.

gimmesometruth27

BinauralJam wrote:

Gimmie, your to tall, it's offensive, other than that, your Awesome.

so a hair under 6 feet is too tall? that's news to me considering i am the 2nd shortest of my group of friends. the shortest is 5 '6" and the tallest is 6' 9" :shock: get the 3 of us together and we look like nirvana

catefrances

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

BinauralJam wrote:

Gimmie, your to tall, it's offensive, other than that, your Awesome.

so a hair under 6 feet is too tall? that's news to me considering i am the 2nd shortest of my group of friends. the shortest is 5 '6" and the tallest is 6' 9" :shock: get the 3 of us together and we look like nirvana

and which one are you.. kurt???? :P

oh wait i guess 2nd shortest makes you dave????

BinauralJam

cincybearcat wrote:

BinauralJam wrote:

Gimmie, your to tall, it's offensive, other than that, your Awesome.

Using the word "your" when you should use "you're" should be on that list.

Which One?












J/K.

gimmesometruth27

catefrances wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

BinauralJam wrote:

Gimmie, your to tall, it's offensive, other than that, your Awesome.

so a hair under 6 feet is too tall? that's news to me considering i am the 2nd shortest of my group of friends. the shortest is 5 '6" and the tallest is 6' 9" :shock: get the 3 of us together and we look like nirvana

and which one are you.. kurt???? :P

oh wait i guess 2nd shortest makes you dave????

i'm dave!

catefrances

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

i'm dave!

and thats what im gonna call you from now on... you need to grow some facial hair tho. :P

gimmesometruth27

catefrances wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

i'm dave!

and thats what im gonna call you from now on... you need to grow some facial hair tho. :P

i should. i have the real hair for it haha...

catefrances

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

catefrances wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

i'm dave!

and thats what im gonna call you from now on... you need to grow some facial hair tho. :P

i should. i have the real hair for it haha...

hey ive seen you with a few days growth(ive even got photographic proof) and i have to say you could pull it off. seriously.