for all of the parents out there....

redrock

Female, 17, no police record, no head spinning. Lots of killer heel shoes and T shirts..... Deal?

redrock

redrock wrote:

Female, 17, no police record, no head spinning. Lots of killer heel shoes and T shirts..... Deal?

Oh... and musical instrument classes (3 instruments), zumba and performing arts school on Saturdays.... all that to pay.

Black Diamond

redrock wrote:

Female, 17, no police record, no head spinning. Lots of killer heel shoes and T shirts..... Deal?

Oh Done!!! He's 9 tomorrow... good luck :twisted:
But he likes PJ so that's good
Football (US) and Basketball games, Bass Lessons and all around cranky attitude comin at ya

EDIT: I don't this is helping Matt out

redrock

Black Diamond wrote:

redrock wrote:

Female, 17, no police record, no head spinning. Lots of killer heel shoes and T shirts..... Deal?

Oh Done!!! He's 9 tomorrow... good luck :twisted:
But he likes PJ so that's good
Football (US) and Basketball games, Bass Lessons and all around cranky attitude comin at ya

Violin, saxophone, piano & electric guitar, heels that make holes in your parquet, house parties with a house full of 17-19 year olds (with alcohol but no smoking), a love for Slash and a TEENAGER coming your way then! She does cook up a very nice meal though....

BTW... Happy Birthday for tomorrow my future son!

redrock

Matt... regardless of this exchange with BD, I do love my daughter!

JonnyPistachio

this thread is spectfuckingtacular.

redrock

Black Diamond wrote:

EDIT: I don't this is helping Matt out

Might be... Just a little 'reality' check for him!

It's just the way with kids... you love them to bits but sometimes they drive you nuts! That's why a little week-end away, just the 'two of you', (or a swap!) works wonders for your sanity

Given to...

No baby talk after 6 months

don't pick him/her up every time they cry

plan on missing PJ shows for a few years

use the camera, shit, there are no film costs now as opposed to my collection...

cherish them in every waking moment, they grow up sooo fast. We all have someone say that to us, but until you have those firsts that never repeat, you will want to hold them forever. First: day of school, heartbreak, recognition that parents are human, bike wreck, jump off the diving board, sleep-over, driving lesson, ...

Johnny Abruzzo

Love the trading kids talk

I have a 13-month old and another one on the way in January.

Pre-pregnancy - don't get upset if it takes a while to conceive, or if help is needed. We had some trouble the first time around, but obviously not so much the 2nd time.

Pregnancy - not much you can do, it kind of sucks. Make sure you always have whatever food or drink she wants in the house. In our house it's OJ and flavored fizzy waters. Go to all the appointments - especially the ones with ultrasounds. Try not to find out the sex. (it's hard to do; they really want to tell you)

Baby - take some of the "middle of the night" shifts if possible (my boy needed formula "topoffs" because my wife didn't have enough milk to satisfy him), and change lots of diapers. We bonded really well and I am his favorite now.

Read them a lot of books, even when they seemingly have no idea what's going on. Now my son will just page through books on his own - it's so cute.

Cloth diapers save you lots of money but are a pain in the ass to clean out when they poop. We did pretty well with them for about 9-12 months, but we've abandoned them with this one. I think we're gonna go back to them for the new baby (the newborn period is when they really go through tons of diapers). They also make you feel good if you care about the planet. If you use all disposables, you throw 7,000 diapers into a landfill per baby. :shock:

Congrats & good luck!!!

mfc2006

awesome advice so far!! thanks, everyone!!

Black Diamond

redrock wrote:

Black Diamond wrote:

EDIT: I don't this is helping Matt out

Might be... Just a little 'reality' check for him!

It's just the way with kids... you love them to bits but sometimes they drive you nuts! That's why a little week-end away, just the 'two of you', (or a swap!) works wonders for your sanity

Exactly!!

Love the little bastard... Freaking kid calls me chubby one more time :evil:

DS1119

I have nothing constructive to add to this thread except good luck! :thumbup:

mfc2006

DS1119 wrote:

I have nothing constructive to add to this thread except good luck! :thumbup:

thanks!

redrock

Johnny Abruzzo wrote:

They also make you feel good if you care about the planet. If you use all disposables, you throw 7,000 diapers into a landfill per baby. :shock:

There are a number of eco-friendly disposable diapers on the market, completely recyclable/bio-degradable - look for those and plant a tree or two! If you have a compost heap, you can also compost them (but not the poos!). With cloth diapers, by the time you have used the water, detergents and electricity to wash & dry, it's just as bad for the environment, though in a different way.

And as Johnny said... books, books, books!!!

justam

mfc2006 wrote:

we're going to start a family...soon. (in the next year or so)

not looking for sex advice (at all). we're good there. :thumbup:

we're looking for planning tips....what things came up that you did not expect at all? yeah, we're clueless hippies...but who cares?

any thoughts/advice would be appreciated...
we've been wanting to start a family for awhile...so we're excited. just trying to get a feel of what we should be doing to prepare. i'm going to be a Dad soon & i can not wait!

thanky,
Matt

There was a lot I wasn't prepared for when my first baby arrived! For example, I somehow didn't realize how overwhelming it would be in terms of time. Unless you're lucky and they sleep a lot (which my first DIDN'T do!) they are constantly needing something. To be carried around, to be fed, to be changed, to be played with. It was ridiculous how little I was prepared for that. :shock:

Make sure you've cleared some space in your life because you'll NEED IT!

EdsonNascimento

My advice - ignore everyone's advice. Every child is different. I have 4. And each one had different "habits" that caused their own anxieties.

The only thing to remember, especially on the 3rd night of you both being up and cranky - you're in this together and love each other. When you start to get edgy, give each other a hug and a laugh and remind each other that this cycle will end, and you'll have bigger things to worry about.

And enjoy every minute. They grow fast and the moment that just past will never exist again.

(oh - and if you have a boy, keep "it" covered for as long as possible, and stand in a direction away from where he's aimed when you are changing a diaper.)

Better Dan

JaneNY wrote:

Breastfeed and use cloth diapers. You'll save thousands! I'm serious - we did it, and also lived frugally, and paid off our house in 3 years. Buy kid clothes from thrift shops and yard sales - a baby doesn't care. Before they get fashion conscious and lecture you(at the age of 5 mind you) about kitten heels is the time to save money on clothing them. She is now 17 and wants Steve Madden boots, so save as much money as you can while they're little. Go to public health for any immunizations - it was $5 per visit. Just a few thoughts off the top of my head.

I'll second the thrift shop comment. When we were expecting I was excited went overboard and spent a lot of money on new baby clothes...we then later (and still do) started looking at thrift stores to buy clothing. Most of it looks just like new brand new since baby's outgrow their clothes so fast and cost as little as .79 an item.

Better Dan

MrMerkinball wrote:

I have 3 daughters, and really remember being clueless when this whole adventure started.

Here are a couple of thoughts and I have broken it down in 3 ways from the Dad's perspective:

Pregnancy
1. For the next nine months, you focus entirely on taking care of your wife.
2. I started off by being too nice and annoying her. She was throwing up a lot and I was trying to be supportive, but in retorspect, I was probably a little over the top. I changed up my tactic and put together a care package for her of foods she could eat (crackers, dry cereal, popcorn etc) and I got her some magazines and some movies to watch. I then said, If you need me, I will be in the other room...It worked

New Born
1. I found the first 3 months (of each kid's life) REALLY hard. They don't sleep properly, you and your wife will be exhausted and all of the little things you used to take for granted (as simple as taking a shower) have to be strategically planned. It gets better...but I did not enjoy those days.
2. Feeding the baby is stressful too. Sometimes the breastfeeding doesn't work properly, which will make your wife really emotional and your baby will be grumpy, and there is NOTHING you can do. If it's a bottle, it's a little easier, but much more expensive.
3. The newborns go through 12-18 diapers a day. Do the math on that one my friend!!!

Toddler
1. If you think your life has changed, wait till that little kid becomes mobile. Holy shit. Sun up to sun down you are chasing that little kids around the house. A playpen is essential here.
2. That said, for me thi sis much more fun and it's the point where daddy becomes more involved and important.

Good advice..I agree on the first 3 months..that was definitely the hardest time for us..Actually the first 3 weeks were pretty hard. We have no family in the area (my family just stayed for a few days after our son was born) so we had to do everything on our own. One thing that seemed to work for us the first few weeks, especially since my wife is a student, is working in shifts at night. I would stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning and then sleep until 10 while my wife watched/fed/carried him. I did this for a few weeks until I had to return to work. Things just get better and better as they get older though. There's nothing more fun and rewarding then seeing your child smile when you get home, and see them so happy that you are playing with them.

Better Dan

pandora wrote:

children understand far more than they ever communicate
this at any age.

They are tiny sponges that grow into adults with very similar habits to their parents.

Don't do what you don't want them to do as adults,
be a good example
give them all that they need and some of what they want

I remember being worried as a young mother if I was doing a good job

my big sister, who has since left this world, her words stayed

"You are great people, you and JB, don't worry you will have great children"

moral ...
instill in your children what you think is important in this world then relax and enjoy the ride!
It is a grand ride.... a miracle!

Very well said!

Leyna Minai

I have no advice either because I have no kids...but my sister just had a baby!! And I bought my new nephew some PJ onesies..so..Be sure to get some of that for your future kid!!

From what I have observed from watching my sister, they have to feed my nephew every 2-3 hours..all day, all night long. So her and her husband didn't get much sleep at all, he's a month old now and finally sleeps about 3-5 hours at a time now. He's super adorable though and good luck to you!! As tough as it may sound, i'm sure you will enjoy it very much!

And good luck too!