for all of the parents out there....

mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,412
edited December 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
we're going to start a family...soon. (in the next year or so)

not looking for sex advice (at all). we're good there. :thumbup:

we're looking for planning tips....what things came up that you did not expect at all? yeah, we're clueless hippies...but who cares? ;)

any thoughts/advice would be appreciated...
we've been wanting to start a family for awhile...so we're excited. just trying to get a feel of what we should be doing to prepare. i'm going to be a Dad soon & i can not wait!

thanky,
Matt
I LOVE MUSIC.
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
Post edited by Unknown User on
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  • mfc2006 wrote:
    we're going to start a family...soon. (in the next year or so)

    not looking for sex advice (at all). we're good there. :thumbup:

    we're looking for planning tips....what things came up that you did not expect at all? yeah, we're clueless hippies...but who cares? ;)

    any thoughts/advice would be appreciated...
    we've been wanting to start a family for awhile...so we're excited. just trying to get a feel of what we should be doing to prepare. i'm going to be a Dad soon & i can not wait!

    thanky,
    Matt


    cutest post of the night :D
    clueless hippies??? :lol:
    Im not a parent, so I have little to offer but I just want to wish you and your wifey good luck. Youll make an excellent daddy :thumbup:
    Makes much more sense...

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  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    mfc2006 wrote:
    ...
    ....what things came up that you did not expect at all? ...


    my first 2 children. 8-)



    just do it. dont overthink it. oh and remember kids are portable and very resilient. theyre tougher than they look.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    i don't have kids but be prepared to be broke..... i hear kids are expensive
  • thefixer9thefixer9 Posts: 9,376
    I can make you son/Daughter a nice quiet playlist, I play it sometimes for the little kid I babysit! :mrgreen:
    Tres Mts- 3/16/2011
    Eddie Vedder- 7/16/11
    Brad- 4/21/12 (RSD Performance), 4/27/12, 8/10/12
    Flight To Mars- 5/23/12
    RNDM- 11/27/12

    PEARL JAM- 12/6/13 I have finally seen Pearl Jam live!
  • EnkiduEnkidu Posts: 2,996
    It's pretty swell. Really. You get to re-see all this stuff again through their eyes. Like the first time you take your kids to the ocean and they see waves. The first time they taste a chocolate milkshake. Watching "Wizard of Oz" together.

    You get the idea.

    And yes, it's expensive. And sometimes you want to kill them. (I have two.) But it's a wonderful, always surprising, never boring journey. You're going to have a great time.
  • conmanconman Posts: 7,493
    Enkidu wrote:
    And sometimes you want to kill them.
    you must have been talking to my parents :P
  • guitar59guitar59 Posts: 1,221
    We did not expect our kids to have such poor taste in music. ;) Took 13 years for this to fully manifest itself. But really kids are great!
  • all will be great Matt!!!!! :thumbup:
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  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,331
    Good luck...

    Kids are great....
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  • ive got three boys.


    all i would say is dont listen to anyone..do what you thinks right

    your normally be correct.


    and then you have noone else to blame . :P especially me
  • I have 3 daughters, and really remember being clueless when this whole adventure started.

    Here are a couple of thoughts and I have broken it down in 3 ways from the Dad's perspective:

    Pregnancy
    1. For the next nine months, you focus entirely on taking care of your wife.
    2. I started off by being too nice and annoying her. She was throwing up a lot and I was trying to be supportive, but in retorspect, I was probably a little over the top. I changed up my tactic and put together a care package for her of foods she could eat (crackers, dry cereal, popcorn etc) and I got her some magazines and some movies to watch. I then said, If you need me, I will be in the other room...It worked

    New Born
    1. I found the first 3 months (of each kid's life) REALLY hard. They don't sleep properly, you and your wife will be exhausted and all of the little things you used to take for granted (as simple as taking a shower) have to be strategically planned. It gets better...but I did not enjoy those days.
    2. Feeding the baby is stressful too. Sometimes the breastfeeding doesn't work properly, which will make your wife really emotional and your baby will be grumpy, and there is NOTHING you can do. If it's a bottle, it's a little easier, but much more expensive.
    3. The newborns go through 12-18 diapers a day. Do the math on that one my friend!!!

    Toddler
    1. If you think your life has changed, wait till that little kid becomes mobile. Holy shit. Sun up to sun down you are chasing that little kids around the house. A playpen is essential here.
    2. That said, for me thi sis much more fun and it's the point where daddy becomes more involved and important.
  • JaneNYJaneNY Posts: 4,438
    Breastfeed and use cloth diapers. You'll save thousands! I'm serious - we did it, and also lived frugally, and paid off our house in 3 years. Buy kid clothes from thrift shops and yard sales - a baby doesn't care. Before they get fashion conscious and lecture you(at the age of 5 mind you) about kitten heels is the time to save money on clothing them. She is now 17 and wants Steve Madden boots, so save as much money as you can while they're little. Go to public health for any immunizations - it was $5 per visit. Just a few thoughts off the top of my head.
    R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
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  • I have 3 daughters, and really remember being clueless when this whole adventure started.

    ive got three boys.



    ok party at your house then
  • rick1zoo2rick1zoo2 Posts: 12,632
    some great advice in these posts. I have three boys, aged 16, 15, 11. All I can say is there is no one right way to do anything. Parenting is at the same time the most bewildering, humbling, thankless, yet rewarding experience. Some times you think you are totally screwing up these kids lives and other times they just simply amaze you with the things they do.

    Just roll with the tough times, and enjoy the good times.


    Just think - our parents didn't screw us up (much)
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    children understand far more than they ever communicate
    this at any age.

    They are tiny sponges that grow into adults with very similar habits to their parents.

    Don't do what you don't want them to do as adults,
    be a good example
    give them all that they need and some of what they want

    I remember being worried as a young mother if I was doing a good job

    my big sister, who has since left this world, her words stayed

    "You are great people, you and JB, don't worry you will have great children"

    moral ...
    instill in your children what you think is important in this world then relax and enjoy the ride!
    It is a grand ride.... a miracle! :D
  • They willl try to be like you without listening to you ....

    Figure out what you and your wife's most core values and try to have them understand.

    Otherwise they will do their own thing and not be like either of you... that's the fun part.

    BTW, I may be having a sale on my middle one... If interested please let me know...
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • EmBleveEmBleve Posts: 3,019
    I can't offer advice because I don't have kids, but congratulations on the decision for the journey! :) Best wishes.
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    edited December 2011
    As you are at your 'planning' stage, take the opportunity to quit with nasty habits you may have (eg smoking), eat a super healthy diet (give those lil' sperm strength and vitality!) don't stress out and enjoy the time 'trying'.

    Once the little one is there, priorities need to be revised (sounds obvious but you would be surprised!), one doesn't have to be showered and dressed with face put on by 8am, one's house doesn't have to be all that tidy all the time and if one is too tired to wash the evening meal dishes that evening, do it the next day! Enjoy the kid(s) and remember to have time for yourself and your partner.

    Sleep/rest/relax when the little one sleeps and really..... just give your love and go with the flow! :mrgreen:
    Post edited by redrock on
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    BTW, I may be having a sale on my middle one... If interested please let me know...

    Does it have to be a sale or would you accept a swap? :mrgreen:
  • redrock wrote:
    BTW, I may be having a sale on my middle one... If interested please let me know...

    Does it have to be a sale or would you accept a swap? :mrgreen:

    :think:

    Depends... Age?, Police Record?, Does there head spin around? :lol:
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    Female, 17, no police record, no head spinning. Lots of killer heel shoes and T shirts..... Deal?
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    redrock wrote:
    Female, 17, no police record, no head spinning. Lots of killer heel shoes and T shirts..... Deal?


    Oh... and musical instrument classes (3 instruments), zumba and performing arts school on Saturdays.... all that to pay.
  • redrock wrote:
    Female, 17, no police record, no head spinning. Lots of killer heel shoes and T shirts..... Deal?
    Oh Done!!! He's 9 tomorrow... good luck :twisted:
    But he likes PJ so that's good :lol:
    Football (US) and Basketball games, Bass Lessons and all around cranky attitude comin at ya

    EDIT: I don't this is helping Matt out :lol:
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    redrock wrote:
    Female, 17, no police record, no head spinning. Lots of killer heel shoes and T shirts..... Deal?
    Oh Done!!! He's 9 tomorrow... good luck :twisted:
    But he likes PJ so that's good :lol:
    Football (US) and Basketball games, Bass Lessons and all around cranky attitude comin at ya

    Violin, saxophone, piano & electric guitar, heels that make holes in your parquet, house parties with a house full of 17-19 year olds (with alcohol but no smoking), a love for Slash and a TEENAGER coming your way then! :mrgreen::mrgreen: She does cook up a very nice meal though....

    BTW... Happy Birthday for tomorrow my future son! :mrgreen:
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    Matt... regardless of this exchange with BD, I do love my daughter! :lol:
  • this thread is spectfuckingtacular. ;)
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  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    EDIT: I don't this is helping Matt out :lol:

    Might be... Just a little 'reality' check for him! :lol:

    It's just the way with kids... you love them to bits but sometimes they drive you nuts! That's why a little week-end away, just the 'two of you', (or a swap!) works wonders for your sanity ;)
  • Given to...Given to... Posts: 4,989
    No baby talk after 6 months

    don't pick him/her up every time they cry

    plan on missing PJ shows for a few years

    use the camera, shit, there are no film costs now as opposed to my collection...

    cherish them in every waking moment, they grow up sooo fast. We all have someone say that to us, but until you have those firsts that never repeat, you will want to hold them forever. First: day of school, heartbreak, recognition that parents are human, bike wreck, jump off the diving board, sleep-over, driving lesson, ...
    "...would you like some forks?" EV 12-02-06
  • Love the trading kids talk :lol:

    I have a 13-month old and another one on the way in January. :o

    Pre-pregnancy - don't get upset if it takes a while to conceive, or if help is needed. We had some trouble the first time around, but obviously not so much the 2nd time. :lol:

    Pregnancy - not much you can do, it kind of sucks. Make sure you always have whatever food or drink she wants in the house. In our house it's OJ and flavored fizzy waters. Go to all the appointments - especially the ones with ultrasounds. Try not to find out the sex. ;) (it's hard to do; they really want to tell you)

    Baby - take some of the "middle of the night" shifts if possible (my boy needed formula "topoffs" because my wife didn't have enough milk to satisfy him), and change lots of diapers. We bonded really well and I am his favorite now. :D

    Read them a lot of books, even when they seemingly have no idea what's going on. Now my son will just page through books on his own - it's so cute.

    Cloth diapers save you lots of money but are a pain in the ass to clean out when they poop. We did pretty well with them for about 9-12 months, but we've abandoned them with this one. I think we're gonna go back to them for the new baby (the newborn period is when they really go through tons of diapers). They also make you feel good if you care about the planet. If you use all disposables, you throw 7,000 diapers into a landfill per baby. :shock:

    Congrats & good luck!!!
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  • mfc2006mfc2006 HTOWN Posts: 37,412
    awesome advice so far!! thanks, everyone!! :D
    I LOVE MUSIC.
    www.cluthelee.com
    www.cluthe.com
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