Was I just let down gently?

low lighter

well from a female point of view who doesnt play mind games, I am really full at weekends until after new years, and i wouldnt dump my friends or the plans i have already made even if a sweet guy asked me out. So maybe she really is busy, its nearly christmas and peole have lots on. However if you are not getting the vibe from her maybe it is a blow off, just funny though that a mutual friends seems to think not, you'd think they would be the one to say nah mate she's not keen etc.... good luck either way though!

Thoughts_Arrive

AzWicker wrote:

Sometimes people are really busy, especially this time of year.

Thoughts_Arrive

pjfan31 wrote:

Yeh well, it is an interesting one.... If I didn't have the inside word from our mutual friend, there would be no doubt it was a let down... And as someone suggested my friend was talking shit, I don't think so. She wouldn't do that.

I'm 50/50 on this one...

That was me lol
I assumed your friend to be a guy lol, sometimes guys like to talk shit and make their friend look like an idiot.

catefrances

my weekends are really booked up.. but how about we have a coffee after work???


how friggin' difficult is it to show just an iota of interest if you are in fact interested.

pjfan31

catefrances wrote:

my weekends are really booked up.. but how about we have a coffee after work???


how friggin' difficult is it to show just an iota of interest if you are in fact interested.

Exactly.... I would have preferred a flat out no...

But plenty more fish in the sea, in fact, one of these fishies has been messaging me all night ... But I'd still prefer the other one :(

catefrances

pjfan31 wrote:

catefrances wrote:

my weekends are really booked up.. but how about we have a coffee after work???


how friggin' difficult is it to show just an iota of interest if you are in fact interested.

Exactly.... I would have preferred a flat out no...

But plenty more fish in the sea, in fact, one of these fishies has been messaging me all night ... But I'd still prefer the other one :(

if you cant be with the one you love honey... love the one youre with... you know what i mean.

pandora

First impressions ... hmmm... they can be loaded and wrong
people need some time to get to know each other.

Keep trying if you feel something for this young lady...
you have no other choice,
you owe it to the love that could be.


I will generalize here, and of course, exceptions to the rule exists....
Having a woman be less interested in a man actually works in lasting relationships
as men are far more likely to stray...
they need a strong lasting attraction.

Many women like to be wooed. If this is the start to a lasting relationship
the beginning will be remembered forever. That is motivation

It's holiday time filled with family and close friends, she is busy,
try some little somethings so she remembers you throughout the season
and share your heart if you are ready to give your heart.

Fear holds us back... be fearless in love!

Mamasan23

Sorry to say man, but it sounds like you were. When a woman is into a guy, she'll make every effort to see him, no matter how busy she is. Or she could be playing hard to get, which if that's the case I'd recommend staying away. Who wants to start a relationship with games?

Carey

I think she might have suggested to you to shoot for the first of the year if she was truly interested. She didn't really leave you much of a choice but to stop the pursuit. The whole "I'll get back to you..." kind of ends it in my mind. Just my opinion, but I always prefer to err on the side of not chasing someone who is mildly interested vs chasing someone who isn't interested at all.

I say check out the other fishies.....

EmBleve

conman wrote:

if she really liked you, you would know it..... move on

this.

OffSheGoes35

.

Thoughts_Arrive

pandora wrote:

Fear holds us back... be fearless in love!

This!
I should start listening to that line!

Thoughts_Arrive

Mamasan23 wrote:

Or she could be playing hard to get, which if that's the case I'd recommend staying away. Who wants to start a relationship with games?

It is immature and very adolescent.
If a girl indicates to me she is not interested I will not keep trying and play into childish games.

Suzi78

She most likely did think you were really nice and funny...but that's probably all there was. She probably didn't feel any chemistry and/or attraction but doesn't have the heart to tell you that, and obviously doesn't want to waste your time knowing she's not really into you. Telling someone 'hey, sorry for the late reply, been a really busy week. Pretty flat out this time of year and my weekends are booked up. I will let you know if they free up'
is the same thing as saying "I'm not really into you, so this is it. I hope you understand". It is NOT playing hard to get, trust me on that one.
Move on. There are lots of other nice girls out there, and besides, why want somebody that doesn't want you?

_

She's not just a chick playing mind games :roll: ; she's most likely a chick who's really busy and honest about it. I don't think she's letting you down gently. Sounds to me like she liked you and is interested in seeing you again (isn't that what she SAID?) - but isn't yet interested enough to drop whatever she's doing to see you. Seems reasonable to me. Why can't people just take what others say at face value without reading stuff into it?

While I agree that she would probably make time if she REALLY REALLY liked you, why does she have to like you that much when she just met you? Isn't there any room to be interested in someone while you're still getting to know them? Can't there be any middle ground? You can go ahead and close the door on her if that's what YOU want, but it doesn't sound like she's closed the door on you.

Sorry, but this is a big pet peeve of mine. I basically stopped dating for awhile because so many guys can't seem to handle the fact that I have a really busy life and they always get all hurt and think I'm blowing them off. (The guys who can handle it, though, score big points for maturity.)

This girl sounds a lot like me, and my perspective is that I say what I mean and mean what I say and I don't say I'm interested in someone unless I am. But I quickly lose interest in people who second-guess what I say and attach their own meaning to it and are too sensitive to accept that I have a busy life. It's not about them. I'll get together when I can if a guy still wants to, but it might be awhile. If he's lost interest by then, fine. But if he hasn't then it might end up turning into something great. Also, I often feel like the bad guy if I contact someone when I'm not yet ready to give a date of when I'm available, which makes me less likely to contact them even though I'm still interested. So, for me, that's not really an indication of anything.

My advice to you is to appreciate her honesty and believe what she says. (I think it's especially likely to be true if she said it to her friend.) Contact her when you feel like it, but don't have any expectations of her or her time. Don't wait around for her, but if you're interested in her, don't close the door. All things happen in good time. Don't give up the possibility of something you want just because you may be impatient or inclined to assign your own meaning to someone else's words and feelings. It might not happen. But, unless you decide otherwise, it still might.

pjfan31

_ wrote:

She's not just a chick playing mind games :roll: ; she's most likely a chick who's really busy and honest about it. I don't think she's letting you down gently. Sounds to me like she liked you and is interested in seeing you again (isn't that what she SAID?) - but isn't yet interested enough to drop whatever she's doing to see you. Seems reasonable to me. Why can't people just take what others say at face value without reading stuff into it?

While I agree that she would probably make time if she REALLY REALLY liked you, why does she have to like you that much when she just met you? Isn't there any room to be interested in someone while you're still getting to know them? Can't there be any middle ground? You can go ahead and close the door on her if that's what YOU want, but it doesn't sound like she's closed the door on you.

Sorry, but this is a big pet peeve of mine. I basically stopped dating for awhile because so many guys can't seem to handle the fact that I have a really busy life and they always get all hurt and think I'm blowing them off. (The guys who can handle it, though, score big points for maturity.)

This girl sounds a lot like me, and my perspective is that I say what I mean and mean what I say and I don't say I'm interested in someone unless I am. But I quickly lose interest in people who second-guess what I say and attach their own meaning to it and are too sensitive to accept that I have a busy life. It's not about them. I'll get together when I can if a guy still wants to, but it might be awhile. If he's lost interest by then, fine. But if he hasn't then it might end up turning into something great. Also, I often feel like the bad guy if I contact someone when I'm not yet ready to give a date of when I'm available, which makes me less likely to contact them even though I'm still interested. So, for me, that's not really an indication of anything.

My advice to you is to appreciate her honesty and believe what she says. (I think it's especially likely to be true if she said it to her friend.) Contact her when you feel like it, but don't have any expectations of her or her time. Don't wait around for her, but if you're interested in her, don't close the door. All things happen in good time. Don't give up the possibility of something you want just because you may be impatient or inclined to assign your own meaning to someone else's words and feelings. It might not happen. But, unless you decide otherwise, it still might.

Nice words, thank you for your post... The door is not closed yet...


I have a habit of reading too much into things...

_

pjfan31 wrote:

I have a habit of reading too much into things...

I think we all do. Good luck with your new friend.

Music For Rhinos

You got let down bro. It's pretty obvious. My advice would be to drink a lot.

LikeAnOcean

_ wrote:

She's not just a chick playing mind games :roll: ; she's most likely a chick who's really busy and honest about it. I don't think she's letting you down gently. Sounds to me like she liked you and is interested in seeing you again (isn't that what she SAID?) - but isn't yet interested enough to drop whatever she's doing to see you. Seems reasonable to me. Why can't people just take what others say at face value without reading stuff into it?

While I agree that she would probably make time if she REALLY REALLY liked you, why does she have to like you that much when she just met you? Isn't there any room to be interested in someone while you're still getting to know them? Can't there be any middle ground? You can go ahead and close the door on her if that's what YOU want, but it doesn't sound like she's closed the door on you.

Sorry, but this is a big pet peeve of mine. I basically stopped dating for awhile because so many guys can't seem to handle the fact that I have a really busy life and they always get all hurt and think I'm blowing them off. (The guys who can handle it, though, score big points for maturity.)

This girl sounds a lot like me, and my perspective is that I say what I mean and mean what I say and I don't say I'm interested in someone unless I am. But I quickly lose interest in people who second-guess what I say and attach their own meaning to it and are too sensitive to accept that I have a busy life. It's not about them. I'll get together when I can if a guy still wants to, but it might be awhile. If he's lost interest by then, fine. But if he hasn't then it might end up turning into something great. Also, I often feel like the bad guy if I contact someone when I'm not yet ready to give a date of when I'm available, which makes me less likely to contact them even though I'm still interested. So, for me, that's not really an indication of anything.

My advice to you is to appreciate her honesty and believe what she says. (I think it's especially likely to be true if she said it to her friend.) Contact her when you feel like it, but don't have any expectations of her or her time. Don't wait around for her, but if you're interested in her, don't close the door. All things happen in good time. Don't give up the possibility of something you want just because you may be impatient or inclined to assign your own meaning to someone else's words and feelings. It might not happen. But, unless you decide otherwise, it still might.

I'm just guessing, but are you single?


If she REALLY likes him, she will make time. We all are "busy" this time of the year. :roll:

Making 30 minutes to meet and grab coffee Isn't asking much.

He may have a chance with her, but when he really needs her is he going to be ok with her "just being too busy"?


My advice, if it's a concern of his now, she will never be right for him.

Music For Rhinos

My advice, go out for ice cream as soon as possible!!!!