Was I just let down gently?

pjfan31

So bit of background,

Met this girl, while I was doing some prac teaching. She was a casual, I was on a block. Turns out we share a mutual friend who wanted to set us up. This girl is really cute, and nice. I am about a year off being a teacher.. so both heading in the same direction....

So she tells my friend this week, that she liked me and thought that I was 'really nice and very very funny'

So old Cassanova here asks her out, and today I get this reply

'hey, sorry for the late reply, been a really busy week. Pretty flat out this time of year and my weekends are booked up. I will let you know if they free up'

Now I'm thinking, well, that's a nice way of saying no, and I'll move on. Our mutual friend is saying that she is genuinely flat out and to stick with it...

I just can't envisage her 'letting me know' when they free up...

It's strange I keep telling myself 'oh I don't care plenty more fish in the sea', but I clearly do. She seems like a really nice girl...

Thoughts_Arrive

Another case of a chick playing mind games.
I really can't work them out.
They show they are keen, tell others, yet don't get back to you.
Same happened to me with this chick who apparently had a crush on me in high school.
We reconnected on FB and she was eager to catch up with me, so we did, seemed like it went well.
Then she never returned my phone call when I tried to set up a second date.
They do my head in.

pjfan31

Her loss,

I would have burnt her a copy of all my bootlegs

I'm tempted just to send her a message back... like 'yeah no worries' blah blah If it strikes up a convo, then cool. Plus I will get my friend to do some groundwork...

Thoughts_Arrive

So hard to find a mrs thesedays.

sparky_fry

who understands girls :?: the thing with guys is that we'll always make time if we're interested in a girl

81

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Another case of a chick playing mind games.
I really can't work them out.
They show they are keen, tell others, yet don't get back to you.
Same happened to me with this chick who apparently had a crush on me in high school.
We reconnected on FB and she was eager to catch up with me, so we did, seemed like it went well.
Then she never returned my phone call when I tried to set up a second date.
They do my head in.

Look on the bright side....it made for a good thread

Thoughts_Arrive

81 wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Another case of a chick playing mind games.
I really can't work them out.
They show they are keen, tell others, yet don't get back to you.
Same happened to me with this chick who apparently had a crush on me in high school.
We reconnected on FB and she was eager to catch up with me, so we did, seemed like it went well.
Then she never returned my phone call when I tried to set up a second date.
They do my head in.

Look on the bright side....it made for a good thread

really?...

Thoughts_Arrive

pjfan31 if she was interested in you she would have dropped her plans for the weekend to go out with you.
I think your mate is probably shit talking....

81

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

81 wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Another case of a chick playing mind games.
I really can't work them out.
They show they are keen, tell others, yet don't get back to you.
Same happened to me with this chick who apparently had a crush on me in high school.
We reconnected on FB and she was eager to catch up with me, so we did, seemed like it went well.
Then she never returned my phone call when I tried to set up a second date.
They do my head in.

Look on the bright side....it made for a good thread

really?...

It was entertaining

Thoughts_Arrive

I can't seem to recall the entertainment aspect of it...

conman

if she really liked you, you would know it..... move on

SVRDhand13

Yes.

AzWicker

Hell, don't give up so easily...

I would make another effort and then if it is the same result, then let it go. She may want a guy who will put a little effort into things...

PKTrekGirl

sparky_fry wrote:

who understands girls :?: the thing with guys is that we'll always make time if we're interested in a girl

I'd wager good money that every girl reading this post on this board is thinking "Back at you!" Trust me - we are just as confused by men as you are by women. :P

stargirl69

PKTrekGirl wrote:

sparky_fry wrote:

who understands girls :?: the thing with guys is that we'll always make time if we're interested in a girl

I'd wager good money that every girl reading this post on this board is thinking "Back at you!" Trust me - we are just as confused by men as you are by women. :P

But yes I think she is letting you down gently.If I am interested in someone I make sure I will have time to go on a date.

Don't give up though

PKTrekGirl

^ I am inclined to agree with stargirl. *nods*

But like she said, that does not mean you should give up. Try a couple of more times, and if it still seems like she might not be that into you, back off. But you are not to that point yet. Give her a couple of more chances to make the determination that you are a nice guy.

pjfan31

Yeh well, it is an interesting one.... If I didn't have the inside word from our mutual friend, there would be no doubt it was a let down... And as someone suggested my friend was talking shit, I don't think so. She wouldn't do that.

I'm 50/50 on this one...

PKTrekGirl

^ Well, the 'inside word' is only as good as the combined truthfulness of 2 relationships - your inside friend and this girl...and your inside friend and you.

Now, I don't think it is by any means hopeless - she did leave an opening, after all. Which is why I don't think you should give up. I think you still have a chance to make more of an impression. I mean, if she really didn't like you at all, you wouldn't have even gotten what you got.

But girls are not unlike guys in this regard - if we REALLY like a guy, we make time. Most of us would re-arrange our entire schedules to make time for a guy we really, really, REALLY liked.

That's just human nature, you know?

Presumably, by posting this thread, you wanted people's honest opinions. And mine is that you haven't wowed her yet...but that you still have a chance to do so. She hasn't said 'no'...but she hasn't really said 'yes' either. Don't give up completely until she gives you a clear yes or no.

That would be my advice. For whatever that's worth.

I do hope it works out for you though!

AzWicker

Sometimes people are really busy, especially this time of year.

LikeAnOcean

She's probably likes you. She's probably attracted to you. The chemistry just may not be quite there.


She'll go out of the way to make time for you if there's a real bond. Don't waste too much time on it. I've made that mistake too many times. You did your part. See if she bites back.


It's nature. Try not to think about it too much.

LikeAnOcean

PKTrekGirl wrote:

^ Well, the 'inside word' is only as good as the combined truthfulness of 2 relationships - your inside friend and this girl...and your inside friend and you.

Now, I don't think it is by any means hopeless - she did leave an opening, after all. Which is why I don't think you should give up. I think you still have a chance to make more of an impression. I mean, if she really didn't like you at all, you wouldn't have even gotten what you got.

But girls are not unlike guys in this regard - if we REALLY like a guy, we make time. Most of us would re-arrange our entire schedules to make time for a guy we really, really, REALLY liked.

That's just human nature, you know?

Presumably, by posting this thread, you wanted people's honest opinions. And mine is that you haven't wowed her yet...but that you still have a chance to do so. She hasn't said 'no'...but she hasn't really said 'yes' either. Don't give up completely until she gives you a clear yes or no.

That would be my advice. For whatever that's worth.

I do hope it works out for you though!

This ^^^


In other words, you could probably have it if you keep trying, but she's just not really REALLY into you.

I'd rather have a girl who is really into me than one who has to think about it.

low lighter

well from a female point of view who doesnt play mind games, I am really full at weekends until after new years, and i wouldnt dump my friends or the plans i have already made even if a sweet guy asked me out. So maybe she really is busy, its nearly christmas and peole have lots on. However if you are not getting the vibe from her maybe it is a blow off, just funny though that a mutual friends seems to think not, you'd think they would be the one to say nah mate she's not keen etc.... good luck either way though!

Thoughts_Arrive

AzWicker wrote:

Sometimes people are really busy, especially this time of year.

Thoughts_Arrive

pjfan31 wrote:

Yeh well, it is an interesting one.... If I didn't have the inside word from our mutual friend, there would be no doubt it was a let down... And as someone suggested my friend was talking shit, I don't think so. She wouldn't do that.

I'm 50/50 on this one...

That was me lol
I assumed your friend to be a guy lol, sometimes guys like to talk shit and make their friend look like an idiot.

catefrances

my weekends are really booked up.. but how about we have a coffee after work???


how friggin' difficult is it to show just an iota of interest if you are in fact interested.

pjfan31

catefrances wrote:

my weekends are really booked up.. but how about we have a coffee after work???


how friggin' difficult is it to show just an iota of interest if you are in fact interested.

Exactly.... I would have preferred a flat out no...

But plenty more fish in the sea, in fact, one of these fishies has been messaging me all night ... But I'd still prefer the other one :(

catefrances

pjfan31 wrote:

catefrances wrote:

my weekends are really booked up.. but how about we have a coffee after work???


how friggin' difficult is it to show just an iota of interest if you are in fact interested.

Exactly.... I would have preferred a flat out no...

But plenty more fish in the sea, in fact, one of these fishies has been messaging me all night ... But I'd still prefer the other one :(

if you cant be with the one you love honey... love the one youre with... you know what i mean.

pandora

First impressions ... hmmm... they can be loaded and wrong
people need some time to get to know each other.

Keep trying if you feel something for this young lady...
you have no other choice,
you owe it to the love that could be.


I will generalize here, and of course, exceptions to the rule exists....
Having a woman be less interested in a man actually works in lasting relationships
as men are far more likely to stray...
they need a strong lasting attraction.

Many women like to be wooed. If this is the start to a lasting relationship
the beginning will be remembered forever. That is motivation

It's holiday time filled with family and close friends, she is busy,
try some little somethings so she remembers you throughout the season
and share your heart if you are ready to give your heart.

Fear holds us back... be fearless in love!

Mamasan23

Sorry to say man, but it sounds like you were. When a woman is into a guy, she'll make every effort to see him, no matter how busy she is. Or she could be playing hard to get, which if that's the case I'd recommend staying away. Who wants to start a relationship with games?

Carey

I think she might have suggested to you to shoot for the first of the year if she was truly interested. She didn't really leave you much of a choice but to stop the pursuit. The whole "I'll get back to you..." kind of ends it in my mind. Just my opinion, but I always prefer to err on the side of not chasing someone who is mildly interested vs chasing someone who isn't interested at all.

I say check out the other fishies.....

EmBleve

conman wrote:

if she really liked you, you would know it..... move on

this.