So today will be the hardest day of my life...

DS1119

Thanksgiving will be a tough day for me. Not only beacuse I lost my dad this year and this is the first major holiday. Not because this is the first holiday apart from the girl I shared 8 years with, but because of my brother. My older brother has cerebral palsy and is mentally retarded. I remember his face when we brought him in the hospital room and my dad's body was there but his life wasn't and he realized it. It was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever seen to see his face transfrom from ignorance to total sadness. The girl I'm talking about, Theresa would hug my brother and give him a kiss whenever they saw each other...reach out to him and not be afraid. Afraid like he was some weird monster. That's one of the biggest reasons I fell so much in love with her. My brother adores this girl. Not many people are comfortable around the handicapped and disabled and she was fine with it. I'm dreading today when my brother asks me "WHere's Theresa"? I don't know what the fuck to say? I know how bad I'll be feeling sitting at the table and I can't imagine how he will be feeling? :(

Carey

Your post broke my heart. I am so, so, so sorry that you have so many things to make tomorrow difficult. Just one of those things alone would make the day unbearable for many. Consider me reaching through the screen for a big, gigantic hug. I wish you, and especially your brother, the best.

GivenToLukinKP

I can't imagine how rough this is going to be. Im so sorry that you have to go through this, and I hope your brother does not take it as hard as you envision.
I have to say, you are a very thoughtful and kind brother to be concerned for his feelings when you are going through such a tough transition yourself. I know you will figure out the best way to tell him. Big hugs to you and your brother. Its going to be a sad day for your whole family, but you will get through this. I am sure your dad would want this family together and enjoying the holiday the best they can despite the changes that have taken place.
xoxoxoxox

PKTrekGirl

Wow....I can't even begin to imagine how difficult Thanksgiving will be for you. It's a hard enough thing to lose 2 people you love in one year...but to have to explain this second loss to your brother after he had so much difficulty with the loss of your father...well....I don't think anyone who reads your post envies your position.

For what it's worth, I'm sending good karma waves in your direction and hope that you and your brother have a nice holiday, despite the difficulties. A lot of loss this year - no doubt of that...but at least you still have each other.

Take care, and have a good day.

morello

Heya. You can do it. You can & will be strong for you & for your brother. Shitty stuff has come down on you this year but you can make the most of the family that are around you. Chin up man. You can do it! I hope your day with your bro goes ok. Look after you, look after your bro, keep busy & I truly hope you find little sparkles of joy in your day.

LikeAnOcean

"sometimes life, it don't leave you alone" :(



I was going to ask how you were coping.. Guess not very well still.. Hang in there, man. Follow the path ahead of you! If this is the lowest part of your life, it can only get better.

Cliffy6745

First thanksgiving without my dad too. I feel you dude. Horrible

Gary Carter

just sucha fucking heartbreaking post

hope you can get through this day

chiquimonkey

I'm so sorry :( I wish you all the best for tomorrow, and that it will be okay with your brother. I understand it being hard, this will be the first Thanksgiving since my mom died, it'll be 5 months on Friday :(

dimitrispearljam

all the best...

gimmesometruth27

dude i have been reading your stuff for a long time now. we have talked in pms and you are a strong person. it might not seem like it now, but it is important for you and your brother that you act strong even if you do not feel it at the moment. all of us have been through our fair share of bullshit in the last year. some of us more than others, but please keep in mind that even though you have never met me or most of the people here, just know that we are here for you and we feel your pain. this is the first time that you have had to assume the role of the people that you have lost. though nothing can prepare you or your brother for what has happened, you are a human being, and you possess the human qualities of strength and compassion. my heart aches and goes out to you for what has happened, but you have to believe that things get better from here on out. know that your dad loved you dearly, and know that your former girl did too, but sometimes things change in interpersonal relationships. do not beat yourself up over losing your girl. it is going to suck with her not being around, but your identity is more than being the boyfriend of whatshername. you have enough hats to wear, and if she is not going to go along with you on the ride then she is not the right person for you. as i told someone earlier today, friendship and love is loyalty. and over time sometimes peoples' loyalty wavers. if people that you love have wavering feelings towards you then they are not your real friends. if they stand by you and have complete loyalty to you then they are your real friends. i know that things will work out for you and your family even in the face of such heartache and bullshit. lean on your friends because that is what they are here for. and when it comes down to the time where you have to explain things to your brother just be honest and clear with him and he will understand. i hope that you can see through the interpersonal bullshit enough to enjoy yourself and enjoy the time that you will spend with your family today.

trust me, things will be better sooner than you think

cheers my friend,
rod

DS1119 wrote:

Thanksgiving will be a tough day for me. Not only beacuse I lost my dad this year and this is the first major holiday. Not because this is the first holiday apart from the girl I shared 8 years with, but because of my brother. My older brother has cerebral palsy and is mentally retarded. I remember his face when we brought him in the hospital room and my dad's body was there but his life wasn't and he realized it. It was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever seen to see his face transfrom from ignorance to total sadness. The girl I'm talking about, Theresa would hug my brother and give him a kiss whenever they saw each other...reach out to him and not be afraid. Afraid like he was some weird monster. That's one of the biggest reasons I fell so much in love with her. My brother adores this girl. Not many people are comfortable around the handicapped and disabled and she was fine with it. I'm dreading today when my brother asks me "WHere's Theresa"? I don't know what the fuck to say? I know how bad I'll be feeling sitting at the table and I can't imagine how he will be feeling? :(

BLACK35

Very sad, all the best to you.
Important thing is that you still have your brother, make the best of it

Suziemay

HUGS DS. Anyone else who will be there who knows what you are going through who can shoulder this with you? I know you are concerned about how this will impact your brother, but remember to take care of yourself also.

youngster

So sorry to hear this. I can't imagine having to deal with all those emotions on one single day. Hopefully you think of some things you are thankful for and that will boost your spirits. Sending good vibes your way my friend.

PJaddicted

You sound like an awesome guy. This year will be very hard for you, but I promise it will get better. Only time will soften the pain of such awful losses. You need to take today one moment at a time, and try to be grateful for what you do have. Your mom and bro need you. Hugs and much love going out to you.

afroannnie

So sorry this is going to be such a rough day for you...take this time to give your mom and brother a little extra love.
And know that you have many people here that are here for you and will be thinking about you!

iamica

Sorry to hear it. Holidays are definitely more difficult after the loss of a loved one. Hang in there.

mickeyrat

DS just try keep a smile on your face and let the hug linger a little longer.

DS1119

Thanks everyone for your kind words. It's going to be tough but I have to do it.

Get_Right

If you set yourself up for a sad day it will be a sad day.
Don't say it sucks shes not here, say its fucking great that my bro IS here and I am going to enjoy this time with family. At the end of the day, that's all we have bro. Don't wallow in your sadness. Shake it off and enjoy what you DO have, and not what you do not have.

Happy Thanksgiving!

PJ-Cubs

Get_Right wrote:

If you set yourself up for a sad day it will be a sad day.
Don't say it sucks shes not here, say its fucking great that my bro IS here and I am going to enjoy this time with family.
Shake it off and enjoy what you DO have, and not what you do not have.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I could not have said it better.

Enjoy the time with your brother and your family today.