Just do one foot after the other for as long as you need to & #1, as much as it's hard right now look after yourself, really really important you make yourself eat, sleep, hydrate(water) etc. Focus on doin that basic stuff, taking good care of you to do your Dad proud & be true to the real you who is a strong, capable & cool guy who deserves the best. Hang in there, stick at making yourself go through the motions & it will get better & along the road you know you have a lot of people here who care.
<hr>
PJ - Auckland 2009; Alpine Valley1&2 2011; Man1, Am'dam1&2, Berlin1&2, Stockholm, Oslo & Copenhagen 2012; LA, Oakland, Portland, Spokane, Calgary, Vancouver, Seattle 2013; Auckland 2014
EV - Canberra, Newcastle & Sydney 1&2 2011
Dave, I am so sorry to hear this. Please, please take care of yourself. I just want to give you a hug. If you feel like talking, feel free to PM me. Love, light and hugs.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I know for awhile you are going to feel like you are slipping away from the word but you have to realize that because something bad happens doesn't mean you have to go down too. You are a tough man and will survive this, you are still alive. Your day of rebirth will come soon enough. If you ever want to message me feel free to do so. I just helped out a friend who went through something very similar. We are all here to help you through this, just have faith and patience.
Tres Mts- 3/16/2011
Eddie Vedder- 7/16/11
Brad- 4/21/12 (RSD Performance), 4/27/12, 8/10/12
Flight To Mars- 5/23/12
RNDM- 11/27/12
PEARL JAM- 12/6/13 I have finally seen Pearl Jam live!
Just make sure you eat food and sleep, man.. i'm going through something similar, but not quite and I can't even immagine.. I've lost a few pounds in the last week and we need to keep surviving! easier said than done!
I am very sorry for your losses, time will heal.
With each break the heart mends stronger, you know that.
Wishing you a new year of smiles, happiness and love.
oh man, i am sorry to hear that. i have been through a similar experience. i was utterly shattered. i was so depressed i had to resort to meds and therapy because the self medicating i was doing got to the point where i was self-destructive. there was nothing i could do to fill that hole left by that loss. the only thing that filled it was alcohol, and that only worked because it made me forget about my situation for awhile. i made a lot of stupid decisions before i got help with my depression, and getting help was the best thing that ever happened to me. i am a much stronger person now for having experienced it.
trust me, i am living proof that life goes on after heartbreak. lean on your friends. that is what they are there for. keep a journal or just write. you need to do something to get it out. besides, as time passes i can refer back to the journal i kept and i can see how low i was and how far i have come. that really helped me out.
i am not going to give you false hope that things are going to work themselves out between you and her.. a lot of people did that to me initially seemingly just to placate me, and speaking from experience i can tell you that that false hope made things worse, as it delayed my acceptance of the situation. if you really want to stay with her hope for the best, in that you reconcile, but mentally prepare for the worst, that you have lost her for good, and if you salvage a friendship at least she is still in your life to some extent. that is more than i can say for my relationship.
hang in there man, and if i can help in any way shoot me a pm.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
Oh and dude. Breakups suck i know this but they are much cheaper than a divorce. Trust me i know all to well from the super whore who was spawned from satans arm pit that is my ex wife. That bitch emptied my savings, took all my stuff (Except for army stuff and a dresser full of clothes) took the car and gave away my dog when she got back to Ohio all while i was in Bosnia. Nothing like coming home to a empty house after being in a shitty country for 13 months. Whats my point?
Simple there were times when i had a gun barrell in my mouth ready to pull the trigger. I pussied out (thank god) and as time went by i focused on me (with mandatory counciling Thanks First Sgt Hall) and started to realize she is a demon cum gargling whore and i'm awesome. Obviously i had other issues for me to be suicidal and i did p.t.s.d was/still is a big one. But my point is dude. I can drag my ass up from the pitt of destruction and disbelief than damnit you can to. You wanna know why? Cause you're awesome.
Hang in there Dave. It may be tough right now, but focus on the now. Don't let the emotions and feelings fester in you. Feel them. They are real and they are ok to have. Just try not to stay in one emotion too long. What I found that works when I was going through my seperation was journaling. Write it all out or shoot yourself an email with what's in your head at the moment. That has saved me on numerous occasions
And remember you are number 1. You are your own first priority. Eat, sleep, rest, do what needs to be done for you first. Because you are so worth it.
Hang in there. If you need to talk or vent or anything...I'm here. I know how it feels..I went through it as well.
Sorry to hear about your father and now your relationship Dave. :(
We've all been in similar situations and yes, relationships are hard. Take a few days to cry it all out, I'm here if ya need someone to talk to.
{{{HUGS}}}
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
As Mike & Ed wrote:
You can spend your time alone, re-digesting past regrets, oh
Or you can come to terms and realize
You're the only one who can't forgive yourself, oh
Makes much more sense, to live in the present tense
That's awesome.
I'm sorry to hear it DS. I hope it gets better for you soon. Positive thoughts.
And I'm so sorry to hear this, too, Jane. :( I can understand this pain as well. The end of a life, or a relationship, is never easy, no matter what. My thoughts are with you. My cat is 17 and he's my baby and I think he had a stroke or something in his brain happen just last night, so it's not an easy time here. Sadness..
Sorry to hear you are in a bad place.
Whenever this kind of stuff happens to me, I always think about other people in much worse situations than me. You lost loved ones, but you have life, and that is precious. Dont lose sight of that despite the bad feelings.
Sorry to hear you are in a bad place.
Whenever this kind of stuff happens to me, I always think about other people in much worse situations than me. You lost loved ones, but you have life, and that is precious. Dont lose sight of that despite the bad feelings.
Agreed...as difficult as it is to only look inward at your hurt, look out and see that (i'm sure) that there are other people that love you and you should try and focus on them AND not forget them as I AM SURE that they would and will be there for you and all you have to do is ask.
Look at this post...all these kind words and some of these people you haven't even met..yet.
chin up. You are loved, liked and appreciated don't loose sight of that.
10c and its members are ALWAYS here for you.
"...And I fight back in my mind. Never lets me be right.
I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
I'm so sorry for both your losses. As others have stated, it will eventually get better--it may just take small steps to get there. But you really need to take care of yourself in the meantime. Feel free to pm me if you need/want a sympathetic ear.
Sorry you're going through a rough time...this seems to be a rough year for lots of us...In January, I had a friend & coworker take his own life (which is a very different kind of grieving) and then I lost my Uncle shortly after that and my stepdad had to have his 2nd open heart surgery this year too (he made it through ok..but it was very scary). It sounds cliche, but I try to think how much I should value life during bad times like these. I try to focus and remember the good things that happened this year...like driving 14 hours to Wi to meet up with strangers (now friends) and having the time of my life
In regards to the breakup...I think most of us have had our heart thrown around..it sucks, but time will help even if it doesn't seem like that now. Focus on whatever makes you happy...friends, family, music, charging stations
Just remember that you're not alone...I know this is an amazing community that will help you through this!
1 day at a time bro, 1 day at a time. Self medication in public leads to meeting more girls.
(So long as you are a nice guy drinker and not angry guy drinker.)
Use it as a reason to get together with some friends you have lost touch with. Never know what can lead where.
Hope u feel better today brotha. From 1 RF to another.
What does self medicate involve btw?
Just beer. All of the other stuff,and there was a lot of it, ended when college ended...ok maybe a couple of summers after college it ended.
If you are just hanging out I would suggest good vodka. on the rocks. wont gain the beer weight, takes much less of it to do the trick and you will feel better in the AM.
Comments
PJ - Auckland 2009; Alpine Valley1&2 2011; Man1, Am'dam1&2, Berlin1&2, Stockholm, Oslo & Copenhagen 2012; LA, Oakland, Portland, Spokane, Calgary, Vancouver, Seattle 2013; Auckland 2014
EV - Canberra, Newcastle & Sydney 1&2 2011
Eddie Vedder- 7/16/11
Brad- 4/21/12 (RSD Performance), 4/27/12, 8/10/12
Flight To Mars- 5/23/12
RNDM- 11/27/12
PEARL JAM- 12/6/13 I have finally seen Pearl Jam live!
With each break the heart mends stronger, you know that.
Wishing you a new year of smiles, happiness and love.
trust me, i am living proof that life goes on after heartbreak. lean on your friends. that is what they are there for. keep a journal or just write. you need to do something to get it out. besides, as time passes i can refer back to the journal i kept and i can see how low i was and how far i have come. that really helped me out.
i am not going to give you false hope that things are going to work themselves out between you and her.. a lot of people did that to me initially seemingly just to placate me, and speaking from experience i can tell you that that false hope made things worse, as it delayed my acceptance of the situation. if you really want to stay with her hope for the best, in that you reconcile, but mentally prepare for the worst, that you have lost her for good, and if you salvage a friendship at least she is still in your life to some extent. that is more than i can say for my relationship.
hang in there man, and if i can help in any way shoot me a pm.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
Simple there were times when i had a gun barrell in my mouth ready to pull the trigger. I pussied out (thank god) and as time went by i focused on me (with mandatory counciling Thanks First Sgt Hall) and started to realize she is a demon cum gargling whore and i'm awesome. Obviously i had other issues for me to be suicidal and i did p.t.s.d was/still is a big one. But my point is dude. I can drag my ass up from the pitt of destruction and disbelief than damnit you can to. You wanna know why? Cause you're awesome.
And remember you are number 1. You are your own first priority. Eat, sleep, rest, do what needs to be done for you first. Because you are so worth it.
Hang in there. If you need to talk or vent or anything...I'm here. I know how it feels..I went through it as well.
We've all been in similar situations and yes, relationships are hard. Take a few days to cry it all out, I'm here if ya need someone to talk to.
{{{HUGS}}}
- Christopher McCandless
Take care........
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
I'm sorry to hear it DS. I hope it gets better for you soon. Positive thoughts.
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
This year has been a load of fucking garbage, I swear. Can't wait for it to end already.
Whenever this kind of stuff happens to me, I always think about other people in much worse situations than me. You lost loved ones, but you have life, and that is precious. Dont lose sight of that despite the bad feelings.
Agreed...as difficult as it is to only look inward at your hurt, look out and see that (i'm sure) that there are other people that love you and you should try and focus on them AND not forget them as I AM SURE that they would and will be there for you and all you have to do is ask.
Look at this post...all these kind words and some of these people you haven't even met..yet.
chin up. You are loved, liked and appreciated don't loose sight of that.
10c and its members are ALWAYS here for you.
I got memories. I got shit so much it don't show."
In regards to the breakup...I think most of us have had our heart thrown around..it sucks, but time will help even if it doesn't seem like that now. Focus on whatever makes you happy...friends, family, music, charging stations
Just remember that you're not alone...I know this is an amazing community that will help you through this!
(So long as you are a nice guy drinker and not angry guy drinker.)
Use it as a reason to get together with some friends you have lost touch with. Never know what can lead where.
If you're up for it, try to communally medicate. One day at a time. Hugs.
What does self medicate involve btw?
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I dont want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know Im alive.
Just beer. All of the other stuff,and there was a lot of it, ended when college ended...ok maybe a couple of summers after college it ended.
If you are just hanging out I would suggest good vodka. on the rocks. wont gain the beer weight, takes much less of it to do the trick and you will feel better in the AM.
Sorry man on all fronts...