c'mon out! There is always something cool going on, all sorts of great bars, shows...i know you wanna see a game at the NFL's loudest stadium!
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
c'mon out! There is always something cool going on, all sorts of great bars, shows...i know you wanna see a game at the NFL's loudest stadium!
I've had a road trip to Seattle planned since 7th grade :oops: One of these days I'll get out there darnit! It would be cool to see a Seahawks game....
but Lambeau Field is better!
WI '98, WI '99 (EV), WI '00, Chgo '00, MO '00, Champaign '03, Chgo '03, WI '03, IN '03, MI '04, Chgo '06:N1 & 2, WI '06, Chgo '07, Chgo '08 (EV:N1), Chgo '09:N1 & 2, Chgo '11 (EV:N1), WI '11:N1 & 2, Philly '12, Wrigley '13, Pitt '13, Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
you're not alone! and why the hell are you concerned about what other people say or think?!
That was hilarious!!!
My only concern is that I'll eventually sever some really strong bonds because of this... other than that, F it!
I was aprehensive about this thread, because I thought it could turn out to be the confirmation that I was REALLY alone on this one but it has been very refreshing to read all your posts! THANK YOU!
I think I'll really have to live with the fact that until "I join the group" (and if you ask me when will that be now, I'll have to answer never...) I'll have less and less people around me that have lots in common with me, but hey... I still have ma boy and the very selected few... And you guys to bear with me when I'm reaching the boiling point
DAMN, what took me so long to start posting on this forum!!??? It's not like I'm getting any younger, right???
~Can't escape from the common rule
If you hate something, don't you do it too...~
Oh thank you, thank you for your post! I have been thinking of posting a similar one lately, since I turned 35 in August.
I got married three years ago and ever since then I'm constantly asked when we are going to start a family. Fact is, I DO have a family - my husband and our two dogs! And when I tell people that we aren't going to have kids, I get this really weird look, like I am some awful person for not wanting to pro-create. People almost seem angry about it! I can't help but think it's because, by me choosing the opposite of the norm, they are questioning their own decision. Who knows! :roll:
I can't believe that people are still so old-fashioned to still believe that one must be married and have two kids in order to be happy. Happiness in life comes in all forms and just because you choose the path less taken, doesn't mean you're missing out on anything.
I have nothing against children and I just adore babies, but I prefer a simpler life: just me and my husband, spending time with friends and family and our puppies, suits me just fine. To tell you the truth, I prefer the company of my dogs over children any day!
And "the call" to have babies....I have NEVER felt this, so why push it! I definitely do not want to have kids just because it's what I 'should' be doing. I've known many girls who've had children for all the wrong reasons and their lives are a mess.
I just don't get why everyone is so concerned with doing whatever everyone else is doing?? If we're all living cookie-cutter lives, what a boring place this would be....
love is all good people need....and music sets the sick ones free...
Oh thank you, thank you for your post! I have been thinking of posting a similar one lately, since I turned 35 in August.
I got married three years ago and ever since then I'm constantly asked when we are going to start a family. Fact is, I DO have a family - my husband and our two dogs! And when I tell people that we aren't going to have kids, I get this really weird look, like I am some awful person for not wanting to pro-create. People almost seem angry about it! I can't help but think it's because, by me choosing the opposite of the norm, they are questioning their own decision. Who knows! :roll:
I can't believe that people are still so old-fashioned to still believe that one must be married and have two kids in order to be happy. Happiness in life comes in all forms and just because you choose the path less taken, doesn't mean you're missing out on anything.
I have nothing against children and I just adore babies, but I prefer a simpler life: just me and my husband, spending time with friends and family and our puppies, suits me just fine. To tell you the truth, I prefer the company of my dogs over children any day!
And "the call" to have babies....I have NEVER felt this, so why push it! I definitely do not want to have kids just because it's what I 'should' be doing. I've known many girls who've had children for all the wrong reasons and their lives are a mess.
I just don't get why everyone is so concerned with doing whatever everyone else is doing?? If we're all living cookie-cutter lives, what a boring place this would be....
I agree with you, one does not need a child to be happy.
There is much more in life than personal happiness.
I feel that it is not others questioning their own choices it is most likely
them wanting you to realize what they think you are missing.
Because having a child, growing, learning, living your whole life with this person,
living the miracle, being a mother, is absolutely incredible.
The personal growth that comes from this role can not be matched by another experience.
It is a love like no other and a choice not often questioned
or regretted once you are someone's Mom.
As far as 'lives in a mess' it is a challenge to be a good parent, each day
a learning experience. Learning a very pure unselfishness, making choices
that effect another human being, a child.
Love will repair and time will heal and when these women look back on
their lives, when they hug their adult children, hopefully they will know they did their very best
and be proud of the people they created.
Just wanted to chime in...I just turned 30, I've been married for 4 years (we dated for a long time before we got married, and everyone was putting pressure on us to marry for most of the time we were dating). We don't want to have kids, and sometimes we get flack for that. It's especially hard now that a lot of my friends are having babies; I can't even look at Facebook anymore because every 10 minutes they're posting about how their little darling just threw up. :?
So no, you're not alone. People seem to want to pressure single people into marriage, and childless/childfree people into having kids. Live your own life, and do what's best for you.
Chicago 2000 : Chicago 2003 : Chicago 2006 : Summerfest 2006 : Lollapalooza 2007 : Chicago 2009 : Noblesville (Indy) 2010 : PJ20 (East Troy) 2011 : Wrigley Field 2013 : Milwaukee (Yield) 2014 : Wrigley Field 2016
What makes a person happy, what they want at thirty
is very different than what makes them happy and what they want at sixty.
Approaching that age now, having friends, business associates, former employees etc...
who have lived their lives 'double income no kids' some have deep regrets now.
Mortality, at this age, is a very real issue. Losing a life mate, dying alone or living loneliness
are factors in their regrets. They see the grown children, the family unit as a missed
opportunity, a missed opportunity for a unique form of love.
My daughter called the other night, we visited for an hour and a half on the phone,
my son beeped in twice. They are approaching thirty and all I wish for them is happiness,
no demands on how they live their lives.
Happiness is elusive though and often found in caring for others.
I know in my heart that being a parent will be a lifelong joy for them,
that choice, will be without regrets in the end.
People who seem to think all married people or people with kids are miserable or only did it because they "are supposed to", are as ignorant and annoying as people questioning why others don't have kids or aren't married.
I'm 37, married with two little kids, and I am 100 times happier than before my wife and kids. If you are single and/or kidless and happy, then more power to you.
Do what ever makes you happy, and don't waste your time judging other people or worrying what they think about you or your choices.
My whole life
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
People who seem to think all married people or people with kids are miserable or only did it because they "are supposed to", are as ignorant and annoying as people questioning why others don't have kids or aren't married.
I'm 37, married with two little kids, and I am 100 times happier than before my wife and kids. If you are single and/or kidless and happy, then more power to you.
Do what ever makes you happy, and don't waste your time judging other people or worrying what they think about you or your choices.
I never questioned this :? I have one very good example of a married couple with a 11 months old kid that is completely happy with their choice! Nor did I judge anyone, i acually emphasizied that I congratulate people when they tell me they will be getting married or they're pregnant... I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea from what I said...
The only thing I was wondering, and apparently I'm not the only one living this situation, was if other people around my age were constantly being "harrassed" with the marriage/kids never ending questions.
I am living my life the way it feels right to me right now and it just gets annoying when people keep bringing up the same questions over and over again about how I live MY life, not that it'll change anything, but it is still annoying! :roll:
What makes a person happy, what they want at thirty
is very different than what makes them happy and what they want at sixty.
This is something I actually think about sometimes and how much the choices I make today will inffluence my happiness in the future, but in the end, I end up reaching the conclusion that whatever I do may turn out good or bad later so I'm better off living each day at a time, looking at a very near future and facing the consequences of my past as they come... I'm not saying there's nothing I regret, just that each day I'll have to live and learn from it...
~Can't escape from the common rule
If you hate something, don't you do it too...~
People who seem to think all married people or people with kids are miserable or only did it because they "are supposed to", are as ignorant and annoying as people questioning why others don't have kids or aren't married.
I'm 37, married with two little kids, and I am 100 times happier than before my wife and kids. If you are single and/or kidless and happy, then more power to you.
Do what ever makes you happy, and don't waste your time judging other people or worrying what they think about you or your choices.
I never questioned this :? I have one very good example of a married couple with a 11 months old kid that is completely happy with their choice! Nor did I judge anyone, i acually emphasizied that I congratulate people when they tell me they will be getting married or they're pregnant... I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea from what I said...
The only thing I was wondering, and apparently I'm not the only one living this situation, was if other people around my age were constantly being "harrassed" with the marriage/kids never ending questions.
I am living my life the way it feels right to me right now and it just gets annoying when people keep bringing up the same questions over and over again about how I live MY life, not that it'll change anything, but it is still annoying! :roll:
Sorry, this wasn't aimed at you or the original premise of your thread. I just kinda got annoyed at the "post-baby lameness","misery loves company" and "friends resenting us for being able to do what we want" comments by people who don't have kids.
I agree with you, the people who keeps asking young couples about having kids, or getting married, etc., need to mind their own business lol.
My whole life
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
People who seem to think all married people or people with kids are miserable or only did it because they "are supposed to", are as ignorant and annoying as people questioning why others don't have kids or aren't married.
I'm 37, married with two little kids, and I am 100 times happier than before my wife and kids. If you are single and/or kidless and happy, then more power to you.
Do what ever makes you happy, and don't waste your time judging other people or worrying what they think about you or your choices.
I didn't mean to infer that all people who have kids are miserable or anything, I know quite a few who are happy with their decision, and that's great. I just wish that more people would understand that having kids isn't right for everyone. Live and let live, that's my motto.
Chicago 2000 : Chicago 2003 : Chicago 2006 : Summerfest 2006 : Lollapalooza 2007 : Chicago 2009 : Noblesville (Indy) 2010 : PJ20 (East Troy) 2011 : Wrigley Field 2013 : Milwaukee (Yield) 2014 : Wrigley Field 2016
I too just turned 30. I am married with 2 kids but did everything out of order. I had my daughter when I was 23 (not planned) and son at 26. I always knew I wanted to have kids, and I truely believe in choice and support those out there for choosing not to have children. As for marriage - I was never going to get married, the thought of spending a fortune on one day just for a piece of paper was bizarre to me, all of this changed when I had my children, I felt so much more love for my partner and really wanted the world to know that this man was who I chose to spend the rest of my life with. This year on our 15th anniversary we quietly got married at the registry office with only my parents and brothers present. To us that was way more special than forking out a deposit on a house for a party.
My brother got married last year and him and his wife are so sick of being asked when they are having children that they have started telling people that they can't - that soon shuts them up. For my step brother and his wife that was true, when people finally found out the truth they felt awful for hassling them.
Good on you if you are happy with your lot - whatever that is!
Comments
c'mon out! There is always something cool going on, all sorts of great bars, shows...i know you wanna see a game at the NFL's loudest stadium!
- Christopher McCandless
I've had a road trip to Seattle planned since 7th grade :oops: One of these days I'll get out there darnit! It would be cool to see a Seahawks game....
but Lambeau Field is better!
That was hilarious!!!
My only concern is that I'll eventually sever some really strong bonds because of this... other than that, F it!
I was aprehensive about this thread, because I thought it could turn out to be the confirmation that I was REALLY alone on this one but it has been very refreshing to read all your posts! THANK YOU!
I think I'll really have to live with the fact that until "I join the group" (and if you ask me when will that be now, I'll have to answer never...) I'll have less and less people around me that have lots in common with me, but hey... I still have ma boy and the very selected few... And you guys to bear with me when I'm reaching the boiling point
DAMN, what took me so long to start posting on this forum!!??? It's not like I'm getting any younger, right???
If you hate something, don't you do it too...~
I got married three years ago and ever since then I'm constantly asked when we are going to start a family. Fact is, I DO have a family - my husband and our two dogs!
I can't believe that people are still so old-fashioned to still believe that one must be married and have two kids in order to be happy. Happiness in life comes in all forms and just because you choose the path less taken, doesn't mean you're missing out on anything.
I have nothing against children and I just adore babies, but I prefer a simpler life: just me and my husband, spending time with friends and family and our puppies, suits me just fine. To tell you the truth, I prefer the company of my dogs over children any day!
And "the call" to have babies....I have NEVER felt this, so why push it! I definitely do not want to have kids just because it's what I 'should' be doing. I've known many girls who've had children for all the wrong reasons and their lives are a mess.
I just don't get why everyone is so concerned with doing whatever everyone else is doing?? If we're all living cookie-cutter lives, what a boring place this would be....
There is much more in life than personal happiness.
I feel that it is not others questioning their own choices it is most likely
them wanting you to realize what they think you are missing.
Because having a child, growing, learning, living your whole life with this person,
living the miracle, being a mother, is absolutely incredible.
The personal growth that comes from this role can not be matched by another experience.
It is a love like no other and a choice not often questioned
or regretted once you are someone's Mom.
As far as 'lives in a mess' it is a challenge to be a good parent, each day
a learning experience. Learning a very pure unselfishness, making choices
that effect another human being, a child.
Love will repair and time will heal and when these women look back on
their lives, when they hug their adult children, hopefully they will know they did their very best
and be proud of the people they created.
So no, you're not alone. People seem to want to pressure single people into marriage, and childless/childfree people into having kids. Live your own life, and do what's best for you.
is very different than what makes them happy and what they want at sixty.
Approaching that age now, having friends, business associates, former employees etc...
who have lived their lives 'double income no kids' some have deep regrets now.
Mortality, at this age, is a very real issue. Losing a life mate, dying alone or living loneliness
are factors in their regrets. They see the grown children, the family unit as a missed
opportunity, a missed opportunity for a unique form of love.
My daughter called the other night, we visited for an hour and a half on the phone,
my son beeped in twice.
no demands on how they live their lives.
Happiness is elusive though and often found in caring for others.
I know in my heart that being a parent will be a lifelong joy for them,
that choice, will be without regrets in the end.
I'm 37, married with two little kids, and I am 100 times happier than before my wife and kids. If you are single and/or kidless and happy, then more power to you.
Do what ever makes you happy, and don't waste your time judging other people or worrying what they think about you or your choices.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I never questioned this :? I have one very good example of a married couple with a 11 months old kid that is completely happy with their choice! Nor did I judge anyone, i acually emphasizied that I congratulate people when they tell me they will be getting married or they're pregnant... I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea from what I said...
The only thing I was wondering, and apparently I'm not the only one living this situation, was if other people around my age were constantly being "harrassed" with the marriage/kids never ending questions.
I am living my life the way it feels right to me right now and it just gets annoying when people keep bringing up the same questions over and over again about how I live MY life, not that it'll change anything, but it is still annoying! :roll:
Either way, I
Couldn't agree more
This is something I actually think about sometimes and how much the choices I make today will inffluence my happiness in the future, but in the end, I end up reaching the conclusion that whatever I do may turn out good or bad later so I'm better off living each day at a time, looking at a very near future and facing the consequences of my past as they come... I'm not saying there's nothing I regret, just that each day I'll have to live and learn from it...
If you hate something, don't you do it too...~
Sorry, this wasn't aimed at you or the original premise of your thread. I just kinda got annoyed at the "post-baby lameness","misery loves company" and "friends resenting us for being able to do what we want" comments by people who don't have kids.
I agree with you, the people who keeps asking young couples about having kids, or getting married, etc., need to mind their own business lol.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
+1
My brother got married last year and him and his wife are so sick of being asked when they are having children that they have started telling people that they can't - that soon shuts them up. For my step brother and his wife that was true, when people finally found out the truth they felt awful for hassling them.
Good on you if you are happy with your lot - whatever that is!