It's about damn time!

theserialthrilla

i hate god

brianlux

pandora wrote:

ok I can't tell who is being sarcastic anymore and who isn't...
or maybe everyone is

I think the purpose of the thread was sarcasm. Oh jumpin' jeepers- at least I hope it was.

F5AgainstOne

so... this thread is really a conversation on par with this one?

Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

CorduroyGirl

pandora wrote:

ok I can't tell who is being sarcastic anymore and who isn't...
or maybe everyone is

Right???!! Awesome thread!

StillHere wrote:

CorduroyGirl wrote:

RB162313 wrote:

god is in the tv!

ROOOOOCK!!!!

Seriously...

johnny america wrote:

You wanna teach kids that monkeys are magically turning into humans, even though that magically seems to have stopped happening once cameras were invented? There's nothing like that in Christianity.

How could I miss this??? Cameras were invented like... Over 100 years ago!!! We would be totally different by now if evolution THEORY was correct!!! DUH!!!

evolution develops over millenia.... not a century......but who knows we may have had cameras back in the day and they went the way of the dinosaurs, only to be rediscovered in the new age

Dino-what-now? Oh! Those mythological creatures!

Cosmo

johnny america wrote:

So you're calling Jesus a liar? Real mature.

You're going to suffer for all eternity, hahahahaha!

...
Shouldn't you be protesting at a soldier's funeral about now?

BLACK35

If you want kids to learn about God, put them in a Catholic school and those who don't care about God can go to a public school, easy enough I think

blueandwhite

Cosmo wrote:

johnny america wrote:

A tornado can't build a 747. Therefore, God exists.

...
Question: Why would a tornado need a 747?

Why would God need a 747 for that matter?

he still stands

blueandwhite wrote:

Cosmo wrote:

johnny america wrote:

A tornado can't build a 747. Therefore, God exists.

...
Question: Why would a tornado need a 747?

Why would God need a 747 for that matter?

I believe he's referring to the quote by Francis Crick, the guy who "discovered" DNA, which is something like (paraphrasing) "for life to spontaneously appear, that's about as likely as a tornado going through a junkyard and creating a 747."

We don't know how life came to be, but there are plenty of scientific explanations that are just as (or more) plausible than the "Creator" explanation.

Macromolecules appear randomly in nature (very very very rarely, but over billions of year almost certainly will appear) and these macomolecules sometimes become adept at assembling other atoms to create other macromolecules. And with self-replication, there will errors eventually. These errors are known as "mutations." Most of them will eventually lead to the macromolecule not being capable of replicating any further, but some will have a mutation that allows a competetive advantage versus others... ad infinitum... millions of generations... and eventually you have a blob like biological organism that today would be recognizable as "life." To me, this is a much more comforting theory than a gaseous vertebrate of astronomic heft.

Cosmo

he still stands wrote:

I believe he's referring to the quote by Francis Crick, the guy who "discovered" DNA, which is something like (paraphrasing) "for life to spontaneously appear, that's about as likely as a tornado going through a junkyard and creating a 747."

We don't know how life came to be, but there are plenty of scientific explanations that are just as (or more) plausible than the "Creator" explanation.

Macromolecules appear randomly in nature (very very very rarely, but over billions of year almost certainly will appear) and these macomolecules sometimes become adept at assembling other atoms to create other macromolecules. And with self-replication, there will errors eventually. These errors are known as "mutations." Most of them will eventually lead to the macromolecule not being capable of replicating any further, but some will have a mutation that allows a competetive advantage versus others... ad infinitum... millions of generations... and eventually you have a blob like biological organism that today would be recognizable as "life." To me, this is a much more comforting theory than a gaseous vertebrate of astronomic heft.

...
Yeah... like 'Of People and Pandas' says... even if you put all of the parts of a pocket watch and left it alone... it would not assemble itself into a pocket watch. Therefore, there MUST have been someone to make it (the watch).
Well, no fucking shit. He is called a 'Watch Maker'.
The conclusion Creationist (a.k.a. Intelligent Designists) come up with have no solid basis. Yes... life is a mystery, but it does not mean that men from 6,000 year ago knew all of the answers. And men of today still don't know... we believe... but, belief is not knowledge.

brianlux

he still stands wrote:

I believe he's referring to the quote by Francis Crick, the guy who "discovered" DNA, which is something like (paraphrasing) "for life to spontaneously appear, that's about as likely as a tornado going through a junkyard and creating a 747."

I've never heard of a tornado going through a junkyard and creating a 747 but I think I heard once of a tornado that went through a paper mill and created about 50,000 paper airplanes.

pandora

brianlux wrote:

pandora wrote:

ok I can't tell who is being sarcastic anymore and who isn't...
or maybe everyone is

I think the purpose of the thread was sarcasm. Oh jumpin' jeepers- at least I hope it was.

I thought so and that was my sad attempt at sarcasm I'm not real good at it

JonnyPistachio

Nothingman54 wrote:

Science is mans way of breaking down Gods work.

Now that's some funny shit!

Nothingman54 wrote:

It's the formula explaining his work. Of course nasty vile liberal atheist don't see it that way.

Stop it man, you're killing me!

You need your own sunday morning show with these lines!

JonnyPistachio

johnny america wrote:

You wanna teach kids that monkeys are magically turning into humans, even though that magically seems to have stopped happening once cameras were invented? There's nothing like that in Christianity.

Do you know absolutely anything about evolution?
Cameras?! this is the funniest thread I've ever read.
This is comic gold.
How long do you think cameras have been around? Do you understand the evolutionary process and the time involved?

CorduroyGirl

Smellyman

I find it amazing people don't understand Johny America.

Brilliant. Colbert Brilliant.

inlet13

johnny america wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVaMjeTaNDM&feature=player_embedded

We need to start teaching our kids about Jesus Christ, and not about this ridiculous science crap that the LEFTIST COMMIES want our kids believin'.

Kids need to know that God loves them and knows them better than anyone! He knew every single detail about them and their entire lives eons before they were ever conceived. They need to know that He has a plan for them, and that He will love them eternally, unless they grow up to be gays or Democrats. :shock:

In my opinion, no one should be pushing children into Christianity in public school like this guy was. On the other hand, I don't think it's "ok" to disallow freedom of speech. It's one thing to have an adult come into a class room and preach about Jesus to children (in attempts to almost convert them, when he clearly doesn't go to school there or even teach there). It's another to try to forbid prayer, the mention of God or children discussing their own views on Jesus in public schools. Particularly, when this is type of behavior aimed at one particular religion (in most cases Christianity). Freedom of speech is in the Constitution. From my vantage point, the OP is showing a very rare case. On the other side of the spectrum, there are cases where children's rights have been violated innumerable times in the name of "no religion in public schools". Which to me, personally, is even worse.

MotoDC

F5AgainstOne wrote:

so... this thread is really a conversation on par with this one?

Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

Yes. Also, you win. Hilarious excerpt there -- is that Monty Python?

Now can everyone else please stop taking this thread seriously and enjoy it for the bit of comic relief that it is?

Chip McFlennigan

I honestly can't believe any of you take me seriously on anything that I say.

I post some pretty far out shit.

Chip McFlennigan

Smellyman wrote:

I find it amazing people don't understand Johny America.

Brilliant. Colbert Brilliant.

Sadly, you seem to be in the minority.

Ooops, das raciss!

CorduroyGirl

johnny america wrote:

I honestly can't believe any of you take me seriously on anything that I say.

I post some pretty far out shit.

Disagree! You present very good arguments!!!!