a year ago today....

decides2dream

i was informed of my impending lay-off, completely unexpected....and this happened to our house:



:shock:
yes, you read that correctly. the. same. fucking. day.
:evil:


needless to say, i lost it....big time. i think i scared my husband by just how much i lost it. :?
i realized my lay-off was going to happen a few hours before it actually did, called hubby to warn/prepare him, and bless him...he was so supportive and trying to help me reamin hopeful and not lose my shit. sadly, i of course was right.

all of this happened to coincide with a massive wind-storm of LI, which i wasnt even aware of until i was at penn station trying to get home, and there was no train service on my branch. hubby had to pick me up at the next local branch. it was a mess, i was a mess.....and then i walked into my house..... things just got worse.


good news, this is what our house looked like a month ago:




bad news...i am still unemployed. almost a year now. i still can't even believe. definitely of the camp, "never thought it would happen to me"...and i must say i am sick to fucking death reading.hearing how those with the most education have an easier time, get re-employed more quickly, yada, yada. i have my MA, and yea....maybe it might get me a second look, a phone interview, idk....but overall, hasn't done shit. bottomline, i got an education and started a career as an art teacher, moved on after 10 years of PT work and only private school employment....my last job was my 'new direction' complete fluke but a good way to go......and here i am. almost impossible to return to teaching, and no idea what else to do. a return to retail doesnt seem too unlikely if i cant manage a new direction in the next coming months.... :? it sucks to be 42 and trying to start all over, again, and really no idea.....


that said, i DO realize how bloody fortunate i am, truly. people right here on this very board dealing with debilitating illness, ill health of family members, disability and sure, lots of my fellow fans just as unemployed as i am. so i know i am not alone and oh so lucky in many ways. firstly, while my dogs were definitely shaken up, they were unharmed, thank gawd.

insurance companies are evil, evil fuckers, but we did get a decent settlement - tho not enough. note to all - insurance does NOT cover any landscape damage, and only $500 to remove a tree, which is our deductible amount, and it cost us $1500 to get that massive, 40+ ft high, 8 ft diameter black walnut out of our yard. and sure, they covered all 'damage'....but paying to repair a hole in a 24 year old roof, well...we paid to replace the fucker. thankfully we had the funds, but yea....not much fun paying for large, unexpected expenses when you just got handed your walking papers.

also, unemployment does much to demoralize you and fight to pay you...and at one point, due to my own stupidity (considered taking a very low-paying job b/c i was afraid my benefits would soon run out - i apparently being the only person on earth not 100% convinced the extension would go thru).....well, long story short, my benefits were cut off for 13 weeks :evil: tho were reinstated, and thus had to pay me all those funds back....but i had to fight...and i feel my life was shortened considerably by the experience. not fun.

in any case, the old adage....whatever doesnt kill you only makes you stronger, i dont really know for sure about that BUT...i will say i truly saw how much love i have in my life. my husband really stepped up to the plate, and still is...i dont even imagine how id have gotten thru all this w/o him. yes, i felt very sorry for myself.....i drank a LOT. i mean, a lot.... :? and he didnt judge me and helped me hold it togther. so many family and friends - many right here, thank you - really demonstrated their love and caring. i am still here, i am healthy, those i love are, we're a-ok financially....i know i am lucky, lucky. i am still utterly lost and no idea what my future holds but yes, i'm still here.

so thereya go.....my long absence, due to mental breakdown. seriously, no joking matter, my apologies....it really was, i just couldn't deal. between the first few months battling insurance, trying to get my house back together, workshops, looking for work, and sure....did i mention drinking? i just couldn't get myself here. after that, i just didnt want to 'explain' it all....and, i was concerned id not keep focused on job prospects. sad to say i've worked and worked at it, and here i still am.....and then, the tour got announced. hahahahaha. so i just had to post.


anyhoo....for those who wondered, thereya go.
no idea what the future holds, but i am still holding onto that thread....

comebackgirl

I'm so glad you're back And so glad you have such good support. Nothing like being kicked when you're down. Who wouldn't be a mess? Things will come together...glad they already did with the house. Insurance companies can suck it :twisted: Good luck with the job hunt. I guess it's an opportunity to try anything. I was worried about you. Did I mention I'm glad you're back?

xavier mcdaniel

A year ago I was in LA, though I remember that storm when I called my parents to check in and tell them I made it out there OK.

And I truly believe that whenever the shitstorm is over (can I say that here) we will emerge better off and the people responsible for it will be forgotten in our lives.

An example is a family member. In January 2009, he was let go from his company of 28 years. The funny thing was the severance was so good, that it was like he was being paid to stay away.

And while he did enjoy being semi-retired, by the time unemployment ran out, there was a general concern, but last month he found a job that pays similar, has a better commute and frankly is more fulfilling than the past one.

One thing I've learned from my experiences is that we can't be loyal to any company, only loyal to ourselves and the people that truly care about us because in the end, they don't care.

I wish I could tell you I have a job for you, but I only have an optimistic outlook that this shitstorm will pass someday and the fuckers who helped create this will get theirs.

But regardless of that, I think everyone here is glad you've made a return and we all look forward to seeing you back on tour.

Thoughts_Arrive

I thought this thread would be about today's one year anniversary of Julia Gillard's stabbing of Kevin Rudd in the back to become prime minister of Australia....

vedder_soup

Chin up Maria, hopefully the future pans out well.
A year ago i was sitting on may ass, bummed i could not make it to the Euro tour after i had missed the US tour :? Missed PJ shows mean nothing in comparison to what you have gone through.
Now i am still here, but hopefully not to far away from doing that trip in reverse, and there is no stopping me this year!

It sucks to see shit like this happen to a person like you, but it is great to see you are getting through it. Bring on the tour and i will buy you a drink... (you are going aren't you?)

Thoughts_Arrive

How long were you off this forum?
I've been unemployed 3 months today.
Chin up.

Who Princess

Wow, that was one hell of a bad day. :shock:

A lot of people, including me, missed you and wondered about you. Glad to have you back!

I'm not fond of that saying about "what doesn't kill you." I prefer this one from Hemingway: "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger at the broken places." Or, like a magnet I have: "When you're going through hell keep going."

One thing I'm certain of, you have a lot of friends here. Now that you're back, please stick around. This is a good place to come when you need support, encouragement, a place to vent, or just a laugh. And at some point you need every one of those things.

What you're going through right now is horrible and demoralizing, but it WILL end. So keep going.

Ms. Haiku

Thanks for sharing what's been going on D2D. It's good to hear no one was hurt in that storm, and I agree that unemployment is demoralizing especially when it seems the entire country is having a hard time looking for jobs.

I hope you find a good job, soon, and I'm sending good vibes.

<<good vibes>>

rick1zoo2

wow. I don't know you, but now I know you a little better. Looks like it's been a tough year, but it seems like you are trooping through it, good for you.

chime

:wave: long time no see!

Sorry for all you've been through, but glad you feel ready to come back and join us.

Rooting for you on the job front

PureandEasy

Thanks for sharing your story d2d. I missed you as well. You would be surprised how many people have been in your shoes (myself included).

Hang in there and keep your head up. Staying positive is the most important thing you can do right now.

RKCNDY

Xavier, I love this:

One thing I've learned from my experiences is that we can't be loyal to any company, only loyal to ourselves and the people that truly care about us because in the end, they don't care.

a year ago today, I had been unemployed for 4 months...angry that I had been so fiercely loyal to my company...hell, I was hired as the owner's wife's personal assistant as soon as I was hired at the company!

But ya live and learn, right?

Glad to have ya here Dream...I know if I didn't have the forum I'd be going stir crazy!

unemployed's unite together!

of.the.girl

WOW! Thanks for sharing that. I haven't been on the boards long but am getting to know quite a few of you. Which is nice.
Keep your chin up and have faith. I always go by the saying if the good Lord didn't know you couldn't handle it, He wouldn't have dished it out to you. So keep that in mind. Hell, it keeps me going.
Live one day at a time. Sometimes moment by moment helps.

EmBleve

Wow, you have overcome alot... keep trying, don't give up. Positive thoughts to you from me. My life has also been wrought with unexpected challenges over the last 3 years...I understand feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. One thing that has helped is to always keep in mind what you DO have and not focus on what you don't (and it sounds like you are doing that), and deal with one thing at a time when possible to avoid overwhelming yourself with worries and frustration. Stay strong!!

pandora

flip side as an employer.. albeit a small business employer

some of us care very much and actually struggle just to keep the doors open
because their employees and their families are counting on them


it's ok to trust and put your faith in small business ...
its just how long can we keep our heads up
we need help!

and it cuts deeply when we must let someone go

visit your local small business store or service and help out a family today

of.the.girl

pandora wrote:

flip side as an employer.. albeit a small business employer

some of us care very much and actually struggle just to keep the doors open
because their employees and their families are counting on them


it's ok to trust and put your faith in small business ...
its just how long can we keep our heads up
we need help!

and it cuts deeply when we must let someone go

visit your local small business store or service and help out a family today

I love shopping local businesses. Very rarely will I shop chains. (unless I have to) Otherwise, local it is. Even now in the summer, I don't buy produce and veggies from the local grocery store, I buy from the farmers at the market.

I love supporting local small businesses. LOVE IT!! there's something very rewarding about it.

chiquimonkey

I'm so sorry you had to go thru all of that, and to have two such awful things happen in one day! It sounds like you are on the right track and have a good attitude about it. I wish you all the best, and I'm glad you are back

Claireack

I'm really pleased you're back with us. I did miss you.

Really sorry you had to go through all that crap and do hope the job situation improves soon.

Have you thought about offering private lessons teaching? You probably have. It was just an idea.

Anywho, glad you're here

justam

Thanks for sharing the story. You get a few hugs from me--> {{{{decides2dream}}}}

I don't think I'm the only one who is extremely glad you're back!

Digital Twilight

Glad to have you back.

If you ever need cheering up let me know I will send a picture of the piece of crap I live in, your place looks great. Must be awesome drinking wine outside on a cool summers evening

Good luck on your job hunting.

decides2dream

whoprincess wrote:

Wow, that was one hell of a bad day. :shock:

A lot of people, including me, missed you and wondered about you. Glad to have you back!

I'm not fond of that saying about "what doesn't kill you." I prefer this one from Hemingway: "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger at the broken places." Or, like a magnet I have: "When you're going through hell keep going."

One thing I'm certain of, you have a lot of friends here. Now that you're back, please stick around. This is a good place to come when you need support, encouragement, a place to vent, or just a laugh. And at some point you need every one of those things.

What you're going through right now is horrible and demoralizing, but it WILL end. So keep going.

i like your magnet princess, definitely....
i actually had to go for one of my unemployment check-ins today, talk about timing eh?

as i've said, i know so many are so much worse off and i am so lucky in so many ways but....i do still feel sorry for myself from time to time. the old, why me? shit. i know it's not a very grown-up attitude, but i guess i am not much of a grown-up. :P i've been tryin' tho!

as i reflect on it all, i DO know i was lucky in as much to have the job for 3 years. i realize, amazingly, it is the ONLY full-time job i have ever had. crazy, eh? all my other work, teaching, all part-time positions....supplemented with retail, etc. this was the one and only job i had with a regular M-F hours, perks, full benefits...and kick-ass vacation time. i mean seriously, all generous. and more amazing still, totally outside my experience or education. that's the sad part, haha. so i do mourn, more than likely, losing a lot of that....especially the vacation time. my husband has been working for the government over 20+ years....5 weeks vacation......and who knows where i'll be?

all of this last year went down just 4 days after our anniversary, 2 weeks after a nice staycation...one where, ironically, we both were saying how great things were going. we were, finally, both with weekends off together, lots of time, solid financial shape, etc. life changes in an instant indeed! and sure, we are a-ok, and i am thankful i did have the job and the income, definitely helped get us where we are today, but come january...if i am still not employed in something decent, i'll definitely be taking whatever i can get. that...is depressing. just have to keep on keeping on and know there's a springtime ahead, and yada, yada, yada.....



thanks all, you all rock.

norm

yep...it's been a pretty shitty year

but in the words of cliff poncier "this negativity just makes me stronger"


:wave:

decides2dream

norm wrote:

yep...it's been a pretty shitty year

but in the words of cliff poncier "this negativity just makes me stronger"


:wave:

i am hoping that with july kicking off the 2nd half of 2011....that life will take an upturn!

chiquimonkey

norm wrote:

but in the words of cliff poncier "this negativity just makes me stronger"

I SO need to cross-stitch that on a pillow! Like for real!

decides2dream

chiquimonkey wrote:

norm wrote:

but in the words of cliff poncier "this negativity just makes me stronger"

I SO need to cross-stitch that on a pillow! Like for real!

sell it on etsy!
you'll make a killing!

i need one too....haha.

chiquimonkey

decides2dream wrote:

chiquimonkey wrote:

norm wrote:

but in the words of cliff poncier "this negativity just makes me stronger"

I SO need to cross-stitch that on a pillow! Like for real!

sell it on etsy!
you'll make a killing!

i need one too....haha.

DUDE, omg I so am gonna do that. Hitting up Jo-ann's like a mofo!

Lizard

First of all...{{hugs}}.

Thanks for opening up and sharing your story. I am glad you made your way back here; I missed you being around.

Here's hoping you have some great opportunities coming your way soon.....

norm

chiquimonkey wrote:

norm wrote:

but in the words of cliff poncier "this negativity just makes me stronger"

I SO need to cross-stitch that on a pillow! Like for real!

:thumbup: :thumbup:

xavier mcdaniel

pandora wrote:

flip side as an employer.. albeit a small business employer

some of us care very much and actually struggle just to keep the doors open
because their employees and their families are counting on them


it's ok to trust and put your faith in small business ...
its just how long can we keep our heads up
we need help!

and it cuts deeply when we must let someone go

visit your local small business store or service and help out a family today

I worked for a small game company business but fairly well known among older gamers the last two winters and out of all the jobs I've had, I think I enjoyed it the most. At first, I didn't, but towards the end of it, I grew to like it and then when they asked me back last summer, I found it hard to say no and it was a big year (the company's 50th anniversary) and when they had the big celebration for it just seeing the looks on the faces of grown men and hearing the impact of the game was touching and plus hearing the owner mention you by name during his speech thanking anyone who has ever been involved also drew a special satisfaction.

Was it the ideal circumstances, full-time and so on? No, but for an hourly consulting gig, it has turned out to be a satisfying experience personally and professionally even I don't go back next winter because of other opportunities.

josevolution

Whoa that is a total mind fuck of a day , we all missed you around these parts and now you're back and for that this place is better off Maria i look forward to the next time i can hang with you and talk about the good times that are ahead for you ..
After all there is only one way you can go from where you were and that is up

polaris_x

Have you been to Brooklyn grange? Rooftop gardens!!