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Mike McCready

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  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    When God sings the hymn, "How Great Thou Art," he's thinking about Mike.
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • IWillLiveForeveIWillLiveForeve Posts: 427
    kh65 wrote:
    Mike still has his Big Wheel, races every kid in his neighborhood and always wins. That is why everyone in the band calls him Big Wheel.


    This is not true. They call him Big Wheel because of his huge cock. This is fact.
  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    IWillLiveForeve wrote:
    This is not true. They call him Big Wheel because of his huge cock. This is fact.

    No, his huge cock is why they call him "Jimi Hendrix"
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    Mike has started his own restaurants. The first one is in Baghdad and it is called "Da Bomb".
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    Mike doesn't even play guitar. He makes all those noises with his mouth.
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    IWillLiveForeve wrote:
    This is not true. They call him Big Wheel because of his huge cock. This is fact.

    His huge cock is why they call him Milton Berle.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • IWillLiveForeveIWillLiveForeve Posts: 427
    slightofjeff wrote:
    No, his huge cock is why they call him "Jimi Hendrix"


    Now you're just making stuff up.
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    When Martin Luther King, Jr. came up with the line "I have a dream..." he had just seen the birth of Mike from which all time is measured.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    IWillLiveForeve wrote:
    Now you're just making stuff up.

    You got me.
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • IWillLiveForeveIWillLiveForeve Posts: 427
    kh65 wrote:
    When Martin Luther King, Jr. came up with the line "I have a dream..." he had just seen the birth of Mike from which all time is measured.

    Wow. That was not funny. You're killing me.
  • fugawzifugawzi Posts: 879
    I know it's already been sung, can't be said enough...Down
    West Palm 2000 I & II/West Palm '03/Tampa '03/Kissimmee '04/Vic Theater '07/West Palm '08/Tampa '08/NYC MSG I & II '08/Philly Spectrum III & IV '09/Cleveland '10/Bristow '10/PJ20 I & II 2011/Pensacola '12/Pittsburgh '13/Denver '14
  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    Martin Luther came up with 95 reasons the Catholic Church sucked.
    But he came up with 96 reasons Mike McCready was badass.
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • IWillLiveForeveIWillLiveForeve Posts: 427
    slightofjeff wrote:
    Martin Luther came up with 95 reasons the Catholic Church sucked.
    But he came up with 96 reasons Mike McCready was badass.

    Yeah, we're going to need you to step away from the keyboard.
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    IWillLiveForeve wrote:
    Yeah, we're going to need you to step away from the keyboard.

    You now want this whole post to yourself so you can worship Mike alone, don't you?
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • IWillLiveForeveIWillLiveForeve Posts: 427
    kh65 wrote:
    You now want this whole post to yourself so you can worship Mike alone, don't you?

    You read me like a book.
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    Mike's guitar playing is the cause of "global warming". Al Gore and he are no longer friends. Especially after he told Al to "Shut your mouth".
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    Mike McCready played "Stairway to Heaven" and the stock market went up 400 points.
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    slightofjeff wrote:
    Mike McCready played "Stairway to Heaven" and the stock market went up 400 points.

    If he plays "Down" (just for fun) it loses 500.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • IWillLiveForeveIWillLiveForeve Posts: 427
    kh65 wrote:
    Mike's guitar playing is the cause of "global warming". Al Gore and he are no longer friends. Especially after he told Al to "Shut your mouth".

    This is not true. They aren't friends anymore because Mike beat the shit out of him with his least liked Strat. Yeah....fucking bludgeoned him. Thing is, he kind of sucker-Strated him. Which is bullshit. I mean, if you're going to fuck someone up with a guitar, you should at least do it to his face. So I guess I'm on Al's side on this one.
  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    Mike actually wrote "Old Man and the Sea," but Hemingway won the rough draft off of him in a poker game and tweaked it.

    Mike's version was better.
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    Mike wrote "Moby Dick" it was supposed to be about his cock but he had to change it to a whale to protect the innocent.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • IWillLiveForeveIWillLiveForeve Posts: 427
    slightofjeff wrote:
    Mike actually wrote "Old Man and the Sea," but Hemingway won the rough draft off of him in a poker game and tweaked it.

    Mike's version was better.

    This has been so blown out proportion. They were playing 'go fish'. Ernest told Mike to 'go fish'. Mike got pissed, threw over the table and said, 'Fuck you old man, you will do the fishing, you will feed me, and you will take notes as I dictate a story to you. You will call it your book, people will call it a classic. But know this old man, you are my bitch, you live because I choose to let you breathe. Now, go get me a Fresca....Fucker!" I've got it on a boot.
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    The song "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter of a Small Town" came about when Ed walked into a store and saw Mike moonlighting on the one day a week when he cross dresses.
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • IWillLiveForeveIWillLiveForeve Posts: 427
    kh65 wrote:
    The song "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter of a Small Town" came about when Ed walked into a store and saw Mike moonlighting on the one day a week when he cross dresses.

    Yeah, no shit. Who doesn't know that?
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    The TSA also wanted to hire Mike when they found out he has X-Ray vision. He said, "Thanks man, but I only use it for evil, so I can't help you."
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    Mike singlehandedly defeated the British at the Battle of New Orleans.

    The history books are wrong.
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
  • blondieblue227blondieblue227 Va, USA Posts: 4,509
    i'm so happy i get to see Mike wail in June. :)
    *~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*

  • joint in a treejoint in a tree Posts: 392
    ok, this is the 3rd time i'm posting a link to this screen shot from Guitar Hero. Why aren't we up in a riot about this typo??

    DSC04360.jpg


    As far as the greatness of Mike, Mad Season pretty much sums it up.
    "Find myself singing the same songs every day....
    ones that make me feel good when things behind the smile ain't ok...." -Hoon
  • dotheevolution1dotheevolution1 Posts: 104
    3 words:
    November fucking Hotel.
    and 3 more:
    four walled world.
    puts his faith in love and, tremor christ.

    "I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback."
  • slightofjeffslightofjeff Posts: 7,762
    Mike McCready once got in a fight with Charlton Heston ... and now, Charlton Heston is dead.

    Coincidence? I think not.
    everybody wants the most they can possibly get
    for the least they could possibly do
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