begs the question - do masturbatory aids count as cheating?

decides2dream

Digital Twilight wrote:

chickweed wrote:

i say no
sexting or any sort of internet porn that doesn't constitute actual physical touching is the same as a magazine or vibrator
they are masturbatory aids and i believe it should not count as cheating

Maybe, maybe not but either way you are admitting that your partner isn't satisfying you sexually and you don't have the courage, maturity or sensivity to your partners feelings to address the real problem.

decides2dream wrote:

Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.

:thumbup:

And what if your partner fulfills your every other need, a pretty amazing feat in itself, except sexually? And he or she is a ok with you looking elsewhere? Playing devils advocate to be sure, but just pointing out, theres just no knowing what works for some couples. So i still say, its up to each couple to decide what works, what hurts and whats ok. Theres not going to be one right answer for everyone. Sure, society as a whole has some specifics for morality, but that doesnt mean everyone has to live by such norms. Just sayin....

Digital Twilight

decides2dream wrote:

Digital Twilight wrote:

chickweed wrote:

i say no
sexting or any sort of internet porn that doesn't constitute actual physical touching is the same as a magazine or vibrator
they are masturbatory aids and i believe it should not count as cheating

Maybe, maybe not but either way you are admitting that your partner isn't satisfying you sexually and you don't have the courage, maturity or sensivity to your partners feelings to address the real problem.

And what if your partner fulfills your every other need, a pretty amazing feat in itself, except sexually? And he or she is a ok with you looking elsewhere?

Well it can't be considered cheating if your partner condones it. I just got the impression from the OP that these things were used without your partners knowledge.

decides2dream

Digital Twilight wrote:

Well it can't be considered cheating if your partner condones it. I just got the impression from the OP that these things were used without your partners knowledge.

I saw it more as looking for definitions of cheating. Lets face it, does your partner know every. Single. Thing. You do? I think its more a question of when in doubt, you discuss with your partner and take it from there. Again, for me, it comes down to trust and similar moral values, no matter how broad or narrow they might be. And lets face it, when it comes to sex, the more discussion, the better. Tricky topic.




Btw partners knowledge and approval or not, i am certain there are many out there who would still see such as wrong, because that is their morality, and cannot abide others living outside of that.

pjtradeking

As somone who was in a relationship that went outside the lines a bit(waaaay more than it should have)...Approved by BOTH of us at the time...I can HONESTLY say that what seems like fun and ok at one point, crosses a serious line and is usually a sign of bigger issues with said relationship and is just setting it up for an epic fail....imho.... :oops:

LikeAnOcean

Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

RKCNDY

Gob wrote:

Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

ok then, if porn is 'ok' is going to the strip club not cheating? i mean it's basically porn, but 'in person' and in Washington state there is a '3 foot rule'

'what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club'...right?

LikeAnOcean

RKCNDY wrote:

Gob wrote:

Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

ok then, if porn is 'ok' is going to the strip club not cheating? i mean it's basically porn, but 'in person' and in Washington state there is a '3 foot rule'

'what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club'...right?

I wouldn't, but I have friends whos wives go to the strip club with them, so no, its not cheating.



Porn is just pictures of other people, and ONE person is involved. Not two people.

pandora

There is a lot of dishonesty in relationships and me first attitudes,
this probably why over half of marriages fail and even more relationships.

I think most people know in their heart when they are doing something wrong
and sometimes that alone is the thrill, things can be just perfect but still... need that thrill.

It takes a mature unselfish person to put the the other person first, but the rewards are great.
Gratifying ourselves gets old, making your partner happy does not.

RKCNDY

Gob wrote:

RKCNDY wrote:

Gob wrote:

Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

ok then, if porn is 'ok' is going to the strip club not cheating? i mean it's basically porn, but 'in person' and in Washington state there is a '3 foot rule'

'what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club'...right?

I wouldn't, but I have friends whos wives go to the strip club with them, so no, its not cheating.



Porn is just pictures of other people, and ONE person is involved. Not two people.

well, weiner texted the pic of himself to a girl he did not know or had met before. (customer and stripper)

He saw her pic and saw what he liked (basically like porn)

he then texted a pic of himself and thought it was just to her, hoping for (...?)-sorta like a guy would probably make an obscene gesture towards a stripper to get her to come over to give him a lap dance.

I don't know what pics she posted of herself (on her twitter page), but what if he looked at her pictures in a 'certain' way? (oogling/lusting)

is that cheating? or is it cheating when she replies? or if he is constantly trying to contact her?

I just read an article where weiner's wife sees 'nothing wrong' with the entire 'scandal', so she seems to not care.

(BTW, some of the local media outlets here are reporting that the student was voted 'most likely to be involved in a government scandal' by her peers)

tinkerbell

RKCNDY wrote:

Gob wrote:

Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

ok then, if porn is 'ok' is going to the strip club not cheating? i mean it's basically porn, but 'in person' and in Washington state there is a '3 foot rule'

'what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club'...right?

Porn and strip clubs don't count as cheating in our house. My husband has been to strip clubs with his mates a few times (mostly bachelor parties or birthdays) and I don't have a problem with it. There are very strict no touching policies at most strip clubs. Anyone that bans there partner from looking at porn is asking for trouble, there is nothing wrong with using your imagination.

Sexting on the other hand is a betrayl to your intimate relationship with your sig other. (I understand others think differently)

IBTL

LikeAnOcean

RKCNDY wrote:

well, weiner texted the pic of himself to a girl he did not know or had met before. (customer and stripper)

He saw her pic and saw what he liked (basically like porn)

he then texted a pic of himself and thought it was just to her, hoping for (...?)-sorta like a guy would probably make an obscene gesture towards a stripper to get her to come over to give him a lap dance.

I don't know what pics she posted of herself (on her twitter page), but what if he looked at her pictures in a 'certain' way? (oogling/lusting)

is that cheating? or is it cheating when she replies? or if he is constantly trying to contact her?

I just read an article where weiner's wife sees 'nothing wrong' with the entire 'scandal', so she seems to not care.

(BTW, some of the local media outlets here are reporting that the student was voted 'most likely to be involved in a government scandal' by her peers)

But that involves two people! You need TWO people to cheat.. When I watch porn I am not communicating with another girl. There is no one else being intimate with me. The only thing that's cheating is my hand! My girlfriend does NOT care and I could care less if my girlfriend did it. There is no other third person involved. You need another person for it to be cheating. Eye candy is not cheating.

If you feel attraction every time you see a pretty person, is that cheating? No! You need two humans to make a relationship.. I don't care how intuative my Mac is, it does not count as a person.

RKCNDY

Gob wrote:

RKCNDY wrote:

well, weiner texted the pic of himself to a girl he did not know or had met before. (customer and stripper)

He saw her pic and saw what he liked (basically like porn)

he then texted a pic of himself and thought it was just to her, hoping for (...?)-sorta like a guy would probably make an obscene gesture towards a stripper to get her to come over to give him a lap dance.

I don't know what pics she posted of herself (on her twitter page), but what if he looked at her pictures in a 'certain' way? (oogling/lusting)

is that cheating? or is it cheating when she replies? or if he is constantly trying to contact her?

I just read an article where weiner's wife sees 'nothing wrong' with the entire 'scandal', so she seems to not care.

(BTW, some of the local media outlets here are reporting that the student was voted 'most likely to be involved in a government scandal' by her peers)

But that involves two people! You need TWO people to cheat.. When I watch porn I am not communicating with another girl. There is no one else being intimate with me. The only thing that's cheating is my hand! My girlfriend does NOT care and I could care less if my girlfriend did it. There is no other third person involved. You need another person for it to be cheating. Eye candy is not cheating.

If you feel attraction every time you see a pretty person, is that cheating? No! You need two humans to make a relationship.. I don't care how intuative my Mac is, it does not count as a person.

I guess you didn't read my entire post....{sigh}

snow_board_rider

Only if your partner is very insecure, but leave if you can't hang out with PALMela HANDerson.

LikeAnOcean

RKCNDY wrote:

Gob wrote:

RKCNDY wrote:

well, weiner texted the pic of himself to a girl he did not know or had met before. (customer and stripper)

He saw her pic and saw what he liked (basically like porn)

he then texted a pic of himself and thought it was just to her, hoping for (...?)-sorta like a guy would probably make an obscene gesture towards a stripper to get her to come over to give him a lap dance.

I don't know what pics she posted of herself (on her twitter page), but what if he looked at her pictures in a 'certain' way? (oogling/lusting)

is that cheating? or is it cheating when she replies? or if he is constantly trying to contact her?

I just read an article where weiner's wife sees 'nothing wrong' with the entire 'scandal', so she seems to not care.

(BTW, some of the local media outlets here are reporting that the student was voted 'most likely to be involved in a government scandal' by her peers)

But that involves two people! You need TWO people to cheat.. When I watch porn I am not communicating with another girl. There is no one else being intimate with me. The only thing that's cheating is my hand! My girlfriend does NOT care and I could care less if my girlfriend did it. There is no other third person involved. You need another person for it to be cheating. Eye candy is not cheating.

If you feel attraction every time you see a pretty person, is that cheating? No! You need two humans to make a relationship.. I don't care how intuative my Mac is, it does not count as a person.

I guess you didn't read my entire post....{sigh}

I did. And I don't try to communicate with porn stars.


It's about communication. He was seeking out this girl. Wether she responded or not, it was between two people. Maybe the other doesn't respond, but one has intentions of communication.


If my girlfriend told me she was masturbating to Brad Pitt all night, I would not care. If she told me she mailed him a letter of affection I would be upset.

BinauralJam

No. No they do not.

justam

I think the OP's original question is revealing. The original question is casting these other women in the Weiner tale as merely "masturbatory aids." They aren't people to the OP. That's the real problem with this entire situation.

He is using the excuse that "he was never in the same room with them and never met them in person" to make it seem like they aren't important and they don't exist even though he was having phone sex with a few of them. As if that makes it all okay and not a problem.

And here on a PJ message board they are being called merely sexual objects (ie masturbatory aids) in a hypothetical question about cheating. How dismissive and disrespectful of another person can everyone be?

There's something really gross about all of this! :(

Nothingman54

Ibtb

[image of female genetalia removed by Admin.]

pjfan31

I love to masticate...

conman

pjfan31 wrote:

I love to masticate...

i believe you're looking for the food thread...








ibtl

pjfan31

conman wrote:

pjfan31 wrote:

I love to masticate...

i believe you're looking for the food thread...








ibtl

:? :? How awkward.... and embarrassing.... :oops: :oops: