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begs the question - do masturbatory aids count as cheating?

mysticweedmysticweed Posts: 3,710
edited June 2011 in All Encompassing Trip
i say no
sexting or any sort of internet porn that doesn't constitute actual physical touching is the same as a magazine or vibrator
they are masturbatory aids and i believe it should not count as cheating
fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

"what a long, strange trip it's been"
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    i would agree with everything except sexting.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    paging ziggy...please pick up the pink courtesy phone
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • mysticweedmysticweed Posts: 3,710
    The 81 wrote:
    i would agree with everything except sexting.

    is that because there is a real person at the other end?
    fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

    "what a long, strange trip it's been"
  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,799
    so it wouldn't matter to you one bit if your spouse/significant other is out there having "non-physical relationship with the opposite sex"

    wouldn't bother you one bit right?

    you're LYING.

    who cares what you call it cheating or not, IT'S WRONG.

    I just don't understand why people who aren't happy in their actual relationships that they go elsewhere for satisfaction before ending it with your current interest

    just makes you a bigger jackass for bringing that person down with you
  • Slap upside the headSlap upside the head Posts: 904
    Unless you're sticking your dick into the orafice of a human being other than your partner's,
    then it doesn't matter what shape, form or description of a wanking tool you give it, it's
    not cheating.
  • Cool Face RyanCool Face Ryan Posts: 1,254
    if you're involved with another person at all, its cheating. that includes sexting
    MSG II 5/21/10
    Tres Mts. Gramercy Theatre 3/26/11
    *formerly manutd3581
  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,799
    fine, don't call it cheating, so does that make it all ok?

    If any of you say yes, I seriously think you're lying to yourselves. Think right now of your significant other, would it be ok it they were doing these things with another man/woman?

    think really hard and I think you'll get your answer
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    Slap upside the head wrote:
    Unless you're sticking your dick into the orafice of a human being other than your partner's,
    then it doesn't matter what shape, form or description of a wanking tool you give it, it's
    not cheating.

    ok... you come home and walk into your bedroom and your wife and some dude are naked getting themselves off... you're fine with that? They're not touching each other.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    Doesnt matter what you call it, the only thing that matters is if your significant other is aware, and approves. For some that may mean they can sleep aroundm np...for others it would mean they cant even look at porn. Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • Slap upside the headSlap upside the head Posts: 904
    blackredyellow wrote:
    Slap upside the head wrote:
    Unless you're sticking your dick into the orafice of a human being other than your partner's,
    then it doesn't matter what shape, form or description of a wanking tool you give it, it's
    not cheating.

    ok... you come home and walk into your bedroom and your wife and some dude are naked getting themselves off... you're fine with that? They're not touching each other.

    This scenario is even stupider than the original question.
  • Suzi78Suzi78 Posts: 362
    So using a vibrator is pretty much the same thing as sexting to you? What if your girlfriend/boyfriend, instead of bringing a vibrator to bed for some good time, would pick up the iphone and start sexting with someone half-across the globe? Would you feel the same about it? Would you be ok with that since it's not physical sex?
    How I choose to feel is how I am
  • RYEzupSFRYEzupSF Posts: 6,003
    decides2dream wrote:
    Doesnt matter what you call it, the only thing that matters is if your significant other is aware, and approves. For some that may mean they can sleep aroundm np...for others it would mean they cant even look at porn. Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.

    well said.


    (another great one, chickweed! you say potato. PJ20 girl. Its on. :lol: )
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    Don't fuck sheep. -EV 7/11/11
    You can never have enough Neil in the mix. -EV 10/24/10
    There's only one commandment: Don't be an asshole. -EV 5/6/10
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    decides2dream wrote:
    Doesnt matter what you call it, the only thing that matters is if your significant other is aware, and approves. For some that may mean they can sleep aroundm np...for others it would mean they cant even look at porn. Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.
    true..but maybe everything hurts your partner..and thats a real problem..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • neilybabes86neilybabes86 Posts: 16,057
    ibtl
    i post on the board of a band that doesn't exsist anymore .......i need my head examined.......
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    dimitrispearljam wrote:
    decides2dream wrote:
    Doesnt matter what you call it, the only thing that matters is if your significant other is aware, and approves. For some that may mean they can sleep aroundm np...for others it would mean they cant even look at porn. Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.
    true..but maybe everything hurts your partner..and thats a real problem..


    Maybe not the right partner for you then, eh?
    One would hope that most of us would choose to be with people who hold similar values in general, and certainly on matters of respect, love and sex.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • PureandEasyPureandEasy Posts: 5,799
    decides2dream wrote:
    Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.


    that's basically the point I was trying to make.
  • dimitrispearljamdimitrispearljam Posts: 139,549
    decides2dream wrote:
    dimitrispearljam wrote:
    decides2dream wrote:
    Doesnt matter what you call it, the only thing that matters is if your significant other is aware, and approves. For some that may mean they can sleep aroundm np...for others it would mean they cant even look at porn. Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.
    true..but maybe everything hurts your partner..and thats a real problem..


    Maybe not the right partner for you then, eh?
    One would hope that most of us would choose to be with people who hold similar values in general, and certainly on matters of respect, love and sex.
    im not talking about me,im too sexy and all girlfriends are jealous of everything. :shock: :lol: ..
    seriously,when it comes to people sees Ghosts around the other half,are getting crazy..
    its not easy to talk or understand all with the partner,especially in sex,,your fantasies...etc
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    PureandEasy wrote:
    decides2dream wrote:
    Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.


    that's basically the point I was trying to make.



    Exactly, and That can vary greatly from couple to couple. Thus, i am personally not a fan of hard and fast labels for these sorts of things.....peoples tolerances and degrees of acceptance vary as greatly as personalities.



    Dimitires...i meant the universal you, not you personally. :)
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • Digital TwilightDigital Twilight Posts: 5,642
    chickweed wrote:
    i say no
    sexting or any sort of internet porn that doesn't constitute actual physical touching is the same as a magazine or vibrator
    they are masturbatory aids and i believe it should not count as cheating

    Maybe, maybe not but either way you are admitting that your partner isn't satisfying you sexually and you don't have the courage, maturity or sensivity to your partners feelings to address the real problem.
    decides2dream wrote:
    Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.

    :thumbup:
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    did you hide this thread here so the train people wouldn't freak out?
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    Digital Twilight wrote:
    chickweed wrote:
    i say no
    sexting or any sort of internet porn that doesn't constitute actual physical touching is the same as a magazine or vibrator
    they are masturbatory aids and i believe it should not count as cheating

    Maybe, maybe not but either way you are admitting that your partner isn't satisfying you sexually and you don't have the courage, maturity or sensivity to your partners feelings to address the real problem.
    decides2dream wrote:
    Point is, what hurts your partner is never ok.

    :thumbup:



    And what if your partner fulfills your every other need, a pretty amazing feat in itself, except sexually? And he or she is a ok with you looking elsewhere? Playing devils advocate to be sure, but just pointing out, theres just no knowing what works for some couples. So i still say, its up to each couple to decide what works, what hurts and whats ok. Theres not going to be one right answer for everyone. Sure, society as a whole has some specifics for morality, but that doesnt mean everyone has to live by such norms. Just sayin....
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • Digital TwilightDigital Twilight Posts: 5,642
    decides2dream wrote:
    Digital Twilight wrote:
    chickweed wrote:
    i say no
    sexting or any sort of internet porn that doesn't constitute actual physical touching is the same as a magazine or vibrator
    they are masturbatory aids and i believe it should not count as cheating

    Maybe, maybe not but either way you are admitting that your partner isn't satisfying you sexually and you don't have the courage, maturity or sensivity to your partners feelings to address the real problem.


    And what if your partner fulfills your every other need, a pretty amazing feat in itself, except sexually? And he or she is a ok with you looking elsewhere?

    Well it can't be considered cheating if your partner condones it. I just got the impression from the OP that these things were used without your partners knowledge.
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    Digital Twilight wrote:

    Well it can't be considered cheating if your partner condones it. I just got the impression from the OP that these things were used without your partners knowledge.



    I saw it more as looking for definitions of cheating. Lets face it, does your partner know every. Single. Thing. You do? I think its more a question of when in doubt, you discuss with your partner and take it from there. Again, for me, it comes down to trust and similar moral values, no matter how broad or narrow they might be. And lets face it, when it comes to sex, the more discussion, the better. Tricky topic. :mrgreen:




    Btw partners knowledge and approval or not, i am certain there are many out there who would still see such as wrong, because that is their morality, and cannot abide others living outside of that.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • pjtradekingpjtradeking Posts: 4,045
    As somone who was in a relationship that went outside the lines a bit(waaaay more than it should have)...Approved by BOTH of us at the time...I can HONESTLY say that what seems like fun and ok at one point, crosses a serious line and is usually a sign of bigger issues with said relationship and is just setting it up for an epic fail....imho.... :oops:
    Never, ever, flipping forget
    "Free Shipping" SPEEDY MCCREADY

    My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


    Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


    I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Gob wrote:
    Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


    Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


    I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

    ok then, if porn is 'ok' is going to the strip club not cheating? i mean it's basically porn, but 'in person' and in Washington state there is a '3 foot rule'

    'what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club'...right?
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    RKCNDY wrote:
    Gob wrote:
    Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


    Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


    I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

    ok then, if porn is 'ok' is going to the strip club not cheating? i mean it's basically porn, but 'in person' and in Washington state there is a '3 foot rule'

    'what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club'...right?
    I wouldn't, but I have friends whos wives go to the strip club with them, so no, its not cheating.



    Porn is just pictures of other people, and ONE person is involved. Not two people.
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    There is a lot of dishonesty in relationships and me first attitudes,
    this probably why over half of marriages fail and even more relationships.

    I think most people know in their heart when they are doing something wrong
    and sometimes that alone is the thrill, things can be just perfect but still... need that thrill.

    It takes a mature unselfish person to put the the other person first, but the rewards are great.
    Gratifying ourselves gets old, making your partner happy does not.
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Gob wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:
    Gob wrote:
    Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


    Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


    I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

    ok then, if porn is 'ok' is going to the strip club not cheating? i mean it's basically porn, but 'in person' and in Washington state there is a '3 foot rule'

    'what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club'...right?
    I wouldn't, but I have friends whos wives go to the strip club with them, so no, its not cheating.



    Porn is just pictures of other people, and ONE person is involved. Not two people.

    well, weiner texted the pic of himself to a girl he did not know or had met before. (customer and stripper)

    He saw her pic and saw what he liked (basically like porn)

    he then texted a pic of himself and thought it was just to her, hoping for (...?)-sorta like a guy would probably make an obscene gesture towards a stripper to get her to come over to give him a lap dance.

    I don't know what pics she posted of herself (on her twitter page), but what if he looked at her pictures in a 'certain' way? (oogling/lusting)

    is that cheating? or is it cheating when she replies? or if he is constantly trying to contact her?

    I just read an article where weiner's wife sees 'nothing wrong' with the entire 'scandal', so she seems to not care.

    (BTW, some of the local media outlets here are reporting that the student was voted 'most likely to be involved in a government scandal' by her peers)
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • tinkerbelltinkerbell Posts: 2,161
    RKCNDY wrote:
    Gob wrote:
    Porn is not cheating. Are you people insane? What human can block sexual thoughts? Everyone has fantasies and that's all porn is.


    Sexting with someone besides a significant other would be bad. Someone else getting pleasure too means intimacy..


    I'm one who gets VERY jelous, but would not care if my significant other was looking at porn.. If they were sexting however, I would definitely consider that cheating and be very hurt.

    ok then, if porn is 'ok' is going to the strip club not cheating? i mean it's basically porn, but 'in person' and in Washington state there is a '3 foot rule'

    'what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club'...right?

    Porn and strip clubs don't count as cheating in our house. My husband has been to strip clubs with his mates a few times (mostly bachelor parties or birthdays) and I don't have a problem with it. There are very strict no touching policies at most strip clubs. Anyone that bans there partner from looking at porn is asking for trouble, there is nothing wrong with using your imagination.

    Sexting on the other hand is a betrayl to your intimate relationship with your sig other. (I understand others think differently)

    IBTL
    all you need is love, love is all you need
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